CHAPTER TWO: SHELDON

Sheldon was having trouble focusing. He never used to have any trouble. They used to get things done, but for the last six years it hadn't felt as urgent, or the things they had achieved weren't as accomplished. Howard going to space didn't count, of course; they sent monkeys and dogs into space and quite frankly they had probably handled it better than the squirrely engineer.

No, Sheldon blamed Leonard and Penny entirely for their lazy achievements and outright failures. They were the most enormous distraction, apart and together, and Sheldon had once been incredibly good at ignoring them, at switching it all off up inside his head and zeroing in on what had to be done. Sometimes it felt like that ability was waning. Bernadette and Amy didn't help. It upset him that they were so disruptive, or that he allowed them to be.

Like right this minute he should have been focusing on reviewing a paper but instead his mind was preoccupied with wondering what he should do about this new (low) level of procrastination he had sunk to, which involved trying to force every fibre of his being not to make Penny a cup of tea and take it over to her apartment. She had made herself very clear when they did arrive home.

'I just want to be alone,' she had said. 'Go away Sheldon…No, I don't want tea!'

Those instructions were clear, but everyone benefitted from a cup of tea when they were upset even if they at first refused. So should he make the tea or should he try to do something different and do exactly as Penny asked?

"Curse you Leonard," Sheldon huffed as he moved from his desk to the couch and sat down in his spot. He frowned and rubbed his jaw as he thought back to the conversation with Leonard that he was also struggling to clear from his mind.

'I don't want to go in here!' Sheldon whined as Leonard darted into the third jewellery store of the day. Who knew there were that many jewellery stores on the way to the comic book store? And everything in them was worthless by comparison, of course.

'Stop whining,' Leonard had said. Sheldon had opened his mouth to protest, but he was whining, and he wanted to reserve enough dignity to continue to call Leonard out for his own and much more frequent whining behaviour in the future. So he shut his mouth and said nothing. He did not say a word as Leonard looked carefully at the rings, and then the earrings, and then the necklaces and bracelets. He had done this in all the stores. He had hunched over the glass and rested a hand on his chin and frowned at all the jewellery as though one of them might jump up and start waving for his attention.

Finally, Sheldon could not take it any longer.

'Leonard,' he said as he sidled up to his worried-looking friend. 'I don't understand why you insist on buying something for Penny before you go away. Why don't you just give her the ring you bought her?'

'Shh!' Leonard said immediately. He looked around as though panicked. Sheldon smirked. As if Penny would come into a jewellery store this nice, or as if any of her unsuccessful-actor-friends would do the same! Before Sheldon could make the remark, Leonard had grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him outside.

'Look,' Leonard said on the street. 'You can't mention the ring, ever.'

'But you still have it, don't you?' Sheldon asked. 'Why don't you just give it to Penny?'

'Because it's an engagement ring.'

'Yes, and you want to be engaged to Penny.'

'I can't ask Penny to marry me right before I go away for four months, that's not how I want to do it, and besides, it's not part of our agreement.'

'I knew it!' Sheldon declared with glee. 'You do have a relationship agreement. You're always making fun of me and Amy but maybe we're not so different after all-'

'This isn't like that. Look, since I bought the ring we've spoken about one day getting engaged. We agreed on how it's going to go, and I won't be giving Penny the ring until she tells me that she's ready. I don't want to spring it on her. She has to be comfortable that we're making a decision, together.'

'You mean she has to give you a signal and then you'll ask her? What's the signal?'

'That's not important,' Leonard said. 'The important thing is that you must never mention the ring ever again. Ever. Not until Penny is wearing it. It's part of our roommate agreement that in life-threatening situations secrets between roommates are warranted and binding. I know we already agreed on this-'

'Yes because if Penny finds out about the ring either from me or someone I've told, or someone told by someone I've told, and she breaks up with you and leaves you, then you'll never get her back and…well I'm still not clear on why that would be a 'life-threatening' situation, because it's only Penny, but-'

Leonard cut Sheldon off with a huff as he raised his brow and pointed towards Sheldon's chest.

'Only Penny? Only? Sheldon, with everything she's done for you, can you imagine your life without Penny in it?'

'Yes,' Sheldon said with barely a hesitation. 'Frankly I'd get a lot more done…and I'd save money on food.'

'Don't be flippant,' Leonard said with a frown. 'I know you like her. Hell, I think you consider her a better friend to you than Raj and Howard, combined, so don't tell me you won't help me do everything to keep her in my life, because at least then she'll still be in yours.'

'Okay,' Sheldon said, sufficiently chastened. 'I see your logic…and you're right.' He had to admit as much to Leonard, though he rarely ever did. The man spoke the truth. Leonard was perhaps the only person besides his mother and meemaw who was able to get under his skin and tell him things he should have been able to admit about himself; things he already knew and sometimes things he didn't yet know how to explain. 'I won't say anything about the ring ever again,' Sheldon stated sincerely. 'I promise,' he added, just in case the sincerity wasn't obvious to Leonard. Sometimes it wasn't.

Leonard looked relieved and happy, he'd smiled, and Sheldon relaxed.

'Just one more thing,' Sheldon said quickly.

'Whaaaat?' Leonard groaned. He led Sheldon back into the store, much to the obvious delight of the sales lady who had been watching them the whole time.

'Well if you have to wait for a sign from Penny before giving her the 'secret thing', don't you also have to wait for a sign to get her something else?'

'For this, me leaving is kind of a sign,' Leonard said. He dragged Sheldon back towards the glass cabinets that housed the bracelets and necklaces.

'Can I help you gentlemen?' she sales lady said as she hovered on the other side of the cabinet. Sheldon decided to turn on the charm offensive he was sure he had perfected. He smiled cutely and made eye contact with the lady. They would get a better deal if he appealed to her sexuality, he thought.

'Yes I think so,' he said. 'My friend Leonard is looking for a present to give his girlfriend before he goes on Stephen Hawking's research vessel in the North Sea for four months.'

'Wow, that's a really long time to be away,' the woman said as she and Leonard glanced at each other.

Sheldon rolled his eyes because the woman had completely missed the point.

'Yes,' he said. 'On Stephen Hawking's research vessel.'

'Does your girlfriend wear yellow gold or silver or white gold?' the woman asked Leonard. Sheldon scoffed, because as if Penny could afford gold!

'Uh, she doesn't actually have a lot of jewellery,' Leonard said. 'I'm not sure.'

'What about the 'secret thing' I'm not meant to talk about?' Sheldon asked. 'It's white gold, remember Leonard? White gold with a diamond-'

'Yes, I remember,' Leonard huffed. He glanced at the curious sales lady and blushed. 'I do have a ring, it's just…'

'Not the right time?' she asked. Leonard nodded while he dug his hand into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet.

Sheldon thought that Leonard was going to show the lady a photograph of Penny so that she could quickly pick out a piece of jewellery and end this suffering so that they could get to the comic book store, but instead Leonard retrieved the diamond ring and showed it to the smiling woman.

'Oh, it's beautiful,' she said. She picked it up for a closer look, gave it a quick polish with a nearby cloth and handed it back to him. 'Perfect,' she said.

'Yes and it's perfect for Penny,' Leonard said definitely. 'But I can't give it to her before I go away all this time, I'm going to be keeping it safe with me, so I want to get her something that's also meaningful, that she can hold onto…everything I've seen so far today seems too delicate or too…sparkly.'

'I'm guessing your girlfriend is pretty classy?' the woman asked.

Sheldon scoffed. Penny, classy? The Nebraskan country bumpkin? Ha!

'Ignore him,' Leonard said to the woman. Sheldon rolled his eyes, briefly offended. 'Yes she is,' Leonard then lied to the sales lady. Though he did quickly correct by adding, 'I mean but she's also not stuck up or snobby or a control freak; she's not that kind of 'classy'. She's strong, kind of sporty, and relaxed. She likes a lot of colour, and she's bubbly and, well, a free spirit.'

'So kind of low maintenance, easy-going then?'

'On a good day,' Sheldon said under his breath. Leonard glared at him while the sales lady laughed.

'Okay, I get the idea,' the woman said. 'Are you leaning more towards a certain type of gift? A necklace, bracelet or earrings? I can bring you a selection and I'm sure we can find something that she'll like.'

'That sounds like a great idea,' Leonard said, even though to Sheldon it sounded like the least efficient method of picking out jewellery ever. 'I've been leaning more towards necklaces,' Leonard added, and off she went.

It was an hour before Sheldon finally got to the comic book store, and Leonard had only dropped him off – he hadn't even come inside! Instead, he had gone home to steal a photo off Penny's refrigerator and take it to the photo store so that they could make a copy that was small enough to fit inside the yellow gold locket that Leonard had purchased for Penny. Because according to the sales lady (who did her job very well), with Penny's colouring as described generously by Leonard, Penny could happily wear both yellow and white gold. She didn't even know about the ring, anyway. Big whoop!

So Sheldon walked home from the comic book store by himself, and when he got to the fourth floor he was happy to not hear anything from Penny's apartment. She must not be home yet, so hopefully Leonard's theft of her photograph would go unnoticed. He proceeded into his own apartment, where he found Leonard sitting on the couch staring at the locket.

'I waited at the comic book store for you but you never came,' Sheldon said.

'Sorry buddy,' Leonard said on a sigh. 'I just didn't feel like it, after all that.'

'Do you think Penny won't like the locket?' Sheldon asked.

'No, that's not what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that although I know this is a great opportunity, I'm really sad for the first time since I decided to go.'

'But it's Stephen Hawking,' Sheldon said plainly. Honestly, what was there to be sad about? 'And Penny won't forget you, you realise,' he added when he thought he could be a little bit more sensitive. 'She might be terrible at remembering some things, but she's good at remembering lines to a play, or why I like to sit in my spot…I'm pretty sure she won't forget about you, too.'

'Gee, thanks,' Leonard said with a wry smirk as he met Sheldon's eyes. Sheldon braced himself when he saw that Leonard's eyes were full of tears and his cheeks were flushed. Leonard's inhaler was on the coffee table too, beside the scissors and the little cutout of his face. Uh-oh, Sheldon thought.

'I'll make tea,' he announced.

'Yeah okay,' Leonard whispered. 'Sheldon, can I tell you something?'

'I've said no in the past and it didn't stop you,' Sheldon said from the kitchen.

'Okay, well…it just occurs to me that I'm not sure I've made what I want to say right now very clear. I think it's been implied? I just feel like I should clarify it before I leave, because, well, if I'm delayed or if there are problems communicating on the ship or if something happens then I need you to be really clear on where things stand, for me.'

'Leonard, you are now talking about something that I don't know about,' Sheldon said. 'Tell me what it is you're talking about and then I might have the appropriate context within which to make a decision about whether or not I understand whatever it is that's been previously implied.'

'Okay,' Leonard said. He reached up underneath his glasses to wipe his eyes.

Sheldon pursed his lips and waited. He was mostly waiting for the jug to boil, because he already knew that Leonard would speak whenever he felt like it.

'Okay,' Leonard said again. 'This is me being clear. I love Penny.'

Sheldon waited, and when Leonard didn't continue he said, 'Is that it?' Really, did Leonard think that he was stupid? Sometimes Sheldon was sure that he did. Since Penny had actually said those words back to Leonard, Sheldon had heard them both saying it to each other when they thought no one else could hear them, or sometimes when they clearly forgot mid-coitus that he was sleeping on the other side of a very thin wall.

'No, that's not 'it',' Leonard said. 'I know that you know that, in theory. I want you to know how it feels.'

'Why?' Sheldon asked.

'Well because I think it's important that you understand. Do you remember that first Christmas after we met Penny, and she brought you Leonard Nimoy's napkin from the Cheesecake Factory?'

'Not just his napkin, his DNA.' Sheldon nodded fiercely and grinned.

'Do you remember how you felt the moment that you realised what it was you were holding?'

'That's a stupid question,' Sheldon said. He remembered everything, even if Leonard obviously didn't. That was also his first hug with Penny. Actually, it was the first time he'd voluntarily hugged any other person besides his mother and meemaw; Leonard Nimoy's DNA had been worth the sacrifice and fear.

'Okay,' Leonard continued. 'How you felt in that moment, Sheldon, is how I feel all the time whenever I'm with Penny, and whenever I think about her.'

'What about when you're fighting?' Sheldon asked cleverly. 'Because I've seen you both when you're fighting, and I don't think either of you are feeling that same feeling in that moment, that I did holding Leonard Nimoy's DNA. It's a little piece of Leonard Nimoy. You don't know that feeling.'

'We do, and yes, even when we're fighting…it's part of the reason I get so upset, and Penny can get so angry. It's always there. So if she gets upset or angry at me being gone, I need you to know that underneath anything that she says or does, part of why she's upset is this very good, very deep feeling.'

'The Leonard Nimoy feeling.'

'Yes.'

'You're saying you're like her own little piece of Leonard Nimoy,' Sheldon said with a straight face, even though he wanted desperately to laugh. 'You do realise how ironic that is, since your name is also Leonard.'

'I don't mean to be ironic,' Leonard said. 'I'm being completely serious.'

Sheldon congratulated himself on not laughing, because Leonard clearly was not in the frame of mind to find that as funny as it was, and at least by not laughing Sheldon hadn't upset Leonard further.

'Sheldon I need you to promise me that you'll look after her,' Leonard said as he sat forward. Tears filled his eyes again and Sheldon baulked but didn't let Leonard see it. He just stood there, watching, as Leonard took his glasses off and rubbed his face and cried. It wasn't as though Penny was dying, and Leonard had promised that nothing bad would happen to him on Stephen Hawking's boat…but what if it did? None of them could know for sure. Maybe that was why he was so upset. That and not wanting to be away from Penny.

Sheldon did understand that they loved each other, even if they didn't realise it, and now he simply understood it better.

'Okay,' Sheldon said simply. 'I'll look after her. I'm not telling her that, though.'

'No, don't,' Leonard said. 'Unless you feel like you should tell her, like maybe it would help…it's not a secret like the ring. I just wanted you to know that Penny is as important to me as Leonard Nimoy's napkin is to you-'

'Not just the napkin-'

'Okay, his DNA. Penny is as important to me as Leonard Nimoy's DNA, because I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, every day-'

'Are you sure Penny feels the same way?' Sheldon asked. He was trying to be facetious but Leonard just glared at him and nodded, his jaw tight.

'I'm sure,' he said. 'We talked last night. Not about engagements or weddings or anything like that - because we're not going to talk about those things until she wants to - but we're clear on everything else. Please be kind to her if she gets upset, okay? I know you'll be expecting a lot of her because I won't be here, but there might be some days when…just…be kind, Sheldon. Please.'

'I'll be kind to Penny,' Sheldon promised.

That was what he had promised, and when he had said those words he had been standing just about where he now found himself. Alone. His living room and his apartment were empty. Leonard was gone. Penny was across the hall wanting to be all by herself after holding him hostage in the back seat of her car from the airport to the beach, from the beach to the mall, from the mall to Raj's, and from Raj's to home. She hadn't said much, but she had been weeping privately on her way up the stairs, and crying when she told him that no, she did not want any tea. She had been wearing the locket. It was yellow, just like Leonard Nimoy's napkin.

Sheldon was meant to be working. It was the perfect time, theoretically. The house was so quiet and there would be no interruptions. This paper had to get reviewed before people started nagging him for it. Yet he couldn't concentrate on work. He couldn't stop remembering things about Leonard and Penny. They were inside his head in the most penetrating, demanding way possible.

He found himself back in the hallway, hovering.

All Sheldon could think about, was what if this was one of those moments that he should put his promise to Leonard into action? How could he look after Penny if she didn't want any tea? How could he be kind if she wanted to be alone? Sheldon secretly wished that he could ask Leonard, because Leonard would know the answer. Leonard always knew what to do about Penny.

The only thing that Sheldon could think of to do was the one thing that Leonard would probably suggest, once Sheldon confirmed that he really didn't want to leave Penny alone even though she had insisted on it. Since when did he ever listen, right? That's what Leonard would say, teasing him. Then he would tell Sheldon to try this one thing. Sheldon would whine about it and hate Leonard for making him do it, but then he would, and maybe it would make the fourth floor feel less quiet, and maybe it would remind Penny of Leonard Nimoy's napkin, which was how Leonard said it felt all the time to be in love.

Maybe that was why Leonard liked it so much, and Penny seemed to as well.

He knocked on her door. "Penny."

He knocked on her door. "Penny."

He knocked on her door.

"Sheldon, what?" she asked in a red-faced, tear-filled huff as she swung the door open so fast he nearly fell in.

"Penny," he said finally. She rolled her eyes, but it was their 'thing', and Leonard was right about another thing too; Penny was his friend.

"Sheldon I don't feel very good right now," Penny said. "I'm sorry but tea really isn't going to fix it. Can you go, please?"

"No," he said. "Not until I remind you of something." He wasn't going to bother trying to explain his conversation with Leonard to Penny. He could have told her in her car at the beach if he had really wanted to, but he had promised Leonard that he wouldn't go into lots of detail, and Penny had explained how she felt in her own way anyway; there was no need to defend Leonard's feelings to Penny, not when she was so obviously upset and still refusing tea.

"Remind me of what?" Penny asked. "And if you say that four months isn't a very long time then I'm going to slam this door in your face. I want him home."

"That's not what I was going to say," Sheldon said with wide eyes and a small shake of his head. She might have always been kind to him but she was so impatient sometimes! He took a deep breath and rocked back on his heels. "I was going to ask," he began slowly. "Just this once…if you would like a hug."

Penny's eyes went wide as her mouth dropped open. Before Sheldon could point out that she might want to dry her face first, she launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She trapped his own arms by his sides, yanked him forwards, and pressed her hands tightly into his back. Penny began sobbing loudly into his neck as soon as Sheldon's shaking hands touched her waist; thanks to her they had nowhere else to go.

Sheldon scrunched up his face as he forced himself to be firmer and to hug like he had seen other people do, like Leonard would want for Penny. He held his breath, flattened his hands on Penny's waist and back, and drew her a little nearer. Penny felt hot and heavy and she sounded wheezy like Leonard.

Sheldon definitely was not feeling like he had felt when he first held Leonard Nimoy's DNA. He did not understand why Leonard felt so good even when Penny was being difficult like this, but he could not just leave her to be alone either. That wasn't what he promised, and it wasn't what a good friend did.

Penny's grip only tightened on him when she stopped crying. She kissed his cheek and whispered, "Thank you". It was going to be a long four months.

***
***

The End - thanks for all the reviews for this and all my other fics everyone! Much appreciated :-D

***