Chapter 2: Pancakes

"I know I gave you the blowjob of your life last night, but wake the fuck up!"

Spider-Man stirred under the covers and lifted his head which was painful, but bearable. He managed to sit up and look at the guy who he wish hadn't sucked him off last night. "When I get back to my normal self, I'm kicking your ass", he said with a scowl on his face.

"But you were so into it!", Deadpool mocked him by making playful moaning noises.

"Fuck you!", Spidey shouted.

"Yes please!", Deadpool laughed as he slipped into his red and black signature suit.

"Hey...mind if I get your name? First name only" Spidey asked.

Deadpool hesitated and frowned before he smiled again and said, "I'm...Wade". Spiderman repeated the name in his head. "What's yours?", Deadpool asked. Spiderman really didn't want to give out his name, but it was only fair since Deadpool had given his. "I'm Peter."

"Peter...I'm making breakfast. Ya like pancakes?"

"Yeah"

Peter held on to the bed as he attempted to stand. He was limping, but he could get around. He made his way to the kitchen by leaning his weight against random furniture. Deadpool was wearing a frilly pink apron in front of the stove...of course he'd be wearing that.

"This place could use some cleaning."

"Cleaning? What's cleaning?", Deadpool chuckled.

Spidey leaned on a counter behind Wade who was now flipping pancakes.

"Why did you save me last night?" Peter asked.

"We're still friends, Spidey-baby! You would've died on that rooftop.", Wade said as he turned off the stove and placed a plate of pancakes on the counter next to Peter.

"Yeah, we're friends" Pete smiled, "I was scared to ask before, but how did you get so many scars?"

Wade frowned and stood beside Peter in silence.

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have asked that.", Peter said looking at the floor.

"They're gross", Deadpool said.

"They're not gross", Peter said looking up at Wade.

"I think my crazy is rubbing off on you, kid", Wade said as he poured syrup over his pancakes.

"No really, there's nothing wrong with them", Peter said grabbing his own plate of pancakes and pouring syrup over them as well.

Deadpool shook his head and tossed a fork to Spidey. "I never thought I'd hear someone say that", he said digging into his pancakes. Peter meant what he said. Sure, the scars were surprising at first, but it didn't make Wade gross. Deadpool was annoying as hell sometimes, but he wasn't that bad of a guy. Peter took the last bite out of his pancake and sat his plate down on the counter.

"I need to get going", Peter said thinking of Aunt May and how worried she must be.

"I'll drive you!", Deadpool offered.

"If you stalk my house I swear-... you have a car?", Peter asked.

"Well yeah, it's nothing to brag about though."

"...Alright, as long as you promise not to stalk my house"

"You got it Spider-babe!"

Spiderman gathered his torn suit and boxers and limped to Deadpool who was grabbing his keys. Deadpool took Spidey's arm and placed it over his shoulder and wrapped his arm around the spider's waist. They made their way outside and into Deadpool's Jeep.

Their ride was full of corny jokes and senseless laughter. When they pulled up to Peter's house, Deadpool walked him to the door.

"Here's my number, baby boy", Deadpool snickered as he gave Peter a ball of crumpled up paper.

Peter laughed and put the paper in the pocket of the pants Deadpool had let him wear. "Thanks, Wade", Peter said smiling to himself.

"Anytime", Deadpool leaned over Spidey and planted a kiss on his cheek through their masks.

Deadpool turned his back and jumped back into his Jeep before Spidey could give a proper response which wouldn't have been friendly. Waiting until Deadpool had driven out of sight, Spidey pulled off his mask and went inside his house.

Aunt May wasn't home, so he made his way up the stairs to his room. Just as he was turning the doorknob, his spider-sense went off like an alarm. He jumped up to the ceiling and pulled his mask back on over his head right before a huge hole was blasted through his bedroom door.

"You know, it's not nice to barge in on people like this!", Spider-Man said peeking through the massive hole in his door.

"Shut up, web head! Just because you slipped through our fingers once doesn't mean you can do it again!"

It was the escaped prisoners. There were about seven of them piled up him his room. Another shot fired directly towards Spidey's face and he jumped swiftly out of the way.

I gotta get them out of my house!

Spider-Man kicked in the door and jumped out the window that the prisoners had conveniently left open. As he swung from house to house, he felt the stitches on his side slowly ripping apart.

I need to find Wade. I don't have my phone on me, but I remember where his apartment is.

He swung as fast as he could memorizing the direction to Deadpool's place. There's no way he'd be able to fight them off by himself and could feel blood dripping onto his pants. Deadpool's going to be pissed about that.

Spider-Man jumped onto the window of Deadpool's apartment and peered inside. He knocked. He peered inside again. He knocked again. Panic started to settle into the heart of the hero.

He's not here.

The sound of a gunshot rang through the air as Spider-Man jumped from Deadpool's apartment window. He couldn't keep this up, where the hell was Deadpool?!

Pain was shooting through his body like lightning as he struggled to shake the vehicle full of prisoners tailing him. With every stretch of his body, he could feel the stitches ripping apart. As he shot his web towards another building, blood spilled out of the bullet wound from his shoulder and he lost grip on his web. Time seemed to be non-existent as he fell towards the crowded New York street below. Aunt May...Uncle Ben...Wade...

"Why don't we just kill him? I thought that was the plan."

"This is so much more fun. Why don't we expose this spider-freak's identity?"

"You, my friend, are a genius."

The mask was yanked off of Spider-Man's face as the escaped prisoners laughed maniacally. Spider-Man could barely hear them through his own pounding heartbeat. He felt pain all across his whole face and body.

"Looks like we got ourselves a pretty boy!"

"Haha! Let's fuck that pretty little face up"

A barrage of punches and kicks landed on Spider-Man's face as he struggled to breathe. Suddenly the abuse and laughter subsided as the prisoners became occupied with something else.

Spider-Man couldn't see, but Deadpool stood behind the prisoners with guns in both of his hands and shouted in a voice full of bloodlust:

"THAT'S MY FUCKING SPIDER!"