Hello! So, so so so so so so... sorry I haven't updated, had a lot of stuff going on lately and haven't had the time! Been struggling for inspiration for my other fanfic so please suggest if you have any ideas. Thank you for all the lovely review, I enjoy reading them and was surprised by how many I got! Been a bit fed up with casualty lately, not much drama is happening between any of the staff. Anyways, enjoy!

To lose someone you love is to alter your life forever...

The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap created never closes...

This gap in your heart is the shape of the one you lost - no one else can fit in. -Jeanette Winterson

Holby ED- 14th February 2013:

She headed outisde, zipping up her hoodie as she snuck away. She had told Tom she needed a break and she had, just not in the way that he had thought. She needed to get away from that hospital, full of sick patients and their lovers. Away from all the fluffy pink decorations and cute little cards that littered the staffroom. She just needed to be alone, where she could pretend that today wasn't what she thought it was and where nobody could remind her it was.

Camp Baiston- 14th February 2005:

She was in a field. The sun was bright and her vision was obscured by the blinding rays. She thought she could make out a hill, in the distance, but it could have been anything. And a figure. A man, maybe? He was coming closer, and had something in his hands. As he approached, she wondered who this man was. He was coming closer, nearly here. His face broke the clouds and he was revealed. She smiled, it was Jack. Jack? Oh no...

Sam shot up, before groaning. Rubble was littered all around her and it looked like the bathroom had been blown to pieces. Her head span as she sat up so she quickly laid back down again, only to be greeted with a sharp pain at her skull. She reached up, and felt a shard of glass protruding from her head. Oh crap, I'm on a date with Jack and I'm going to have a bloody bandage! Wait, Jack!

"Jack! Jack, where are you?"

"Sam?"

It was a man's voice, but not Jack's. She recognised though, so she answered.

"Yes?"

A man appeared at the entrance, or what should have been the enterance. She knew him as one of her colleagues, one of Jack's friends. She couldn't remember his name though.

"Sam? God, what happened? We heard there was a bomb explosion here, but didn't know it was this bad! Come on, we need to get moving, apparently another wave is scheduled in 5 minutes. Can you move at all?"

"I don't know, don't think so. But Jack, where is he?"

"Jack? Why was he here?"

Sam hesitated, she didn't want anybody to know about her and Jacks little date so she just made up an excuse.

"I just saw him here and he invited me to sit with him. But never mind that, where is he?"

"Sorry Sam, haven't seen him. But we'll find him, don't worry." A crackle came from his radio and a voice emerged, "Matt, 1 minute till another wave! Come on, you need to get out of there! What's taking so long?" Asked Luke, the other medic.

"I'm here with Sam. She says Jack's here but I can't find him. She's gonna need a stretcher though." Matt replied.

"Sam?" She smiled she knew that Luke had a soft spot for her."Okay, I'm coming in. But Matt, I don't know if we've going to have time to rescue Jake." He broke off, before Matt had time to protest.

As Sam got outside, the boys truly realised how much damage the explosion had done. It was a surprise that even Sam had survived. Once the shock had worn off, Sam could really feel the pain. She groaned again, and Luke asked what was wrong. When she could only reply with another feeble moan, he knew they needed to get going.

"Matt, come on! She's barley staying awake!"

"But Jack!" Matt protested.

He quickly ran over to him, leaving Sam out of ear shot.

"I know, but we dont have time! Sam needs to get to hospital and if another bomb goes off while you're in there we're all done! We can come back if it hasn't exploded by then." He saw Matt's face change and his heart went out to him. He carried on, speaking softly, " Listen, he's my friend too, but killing yourself isn't going to help!" If you go now, Sam might not got to hospital in time and you wouldn't forgive yourself either. If you couldn't see him, then it's probably too late. It's time to move on." With that he ran back to Sam, who was fast deteriorating.

"Okay Sam, let's get moving!"

"Jack, where's Jack?" She mumbled.

"Jack, I'm afraid isn't going to make it. I'm sorry."

"What? No, NO! Got to go back, go back!" As she became more agitated, Luke decided it would be best to sedate her. She started to feel drowsy, and it wasn't long before her eyelids drooped and her world descended into a dark haze...

Holby Beach- 14th February 2013:

She was at the beach. The beach, the place where she could just collect her thoughts. She loved the feeling of walking in and letting the water surround you. If you went in far enough, you could pretend that it was just you, a little island in the middle of a big, big sea. And being that little island could help. You didn't have any pressure, and no one disturbing you and didn't have a time limit. Like being stranded, but you want to be. Like you spend as much time as you want, and when you get bored, you can just ring up a helicopter to come and collect you and take you home. Right now she wanted to be that island. She wanted to be alone, away from the pink fluffiness of Valentine's Day and she wanted to remember that day that Jack died. Her last memory of him. Her body recognised the longing and automatically began to pull her towards the sea. It didn't care that it was February- cold, freezing February. She began to take her hoodie off, thinking off when she was little and would go paddling in the sea. She dumped it in the soft sand before carrying on, on the path her heart had laid out for her. She didn't stop, just let the soft lapping water lull her into the waves.

Holby ED- 14th February 2013:

TOM'S POV

He tried ringing her, but she wouldn't pick up. He needed her to come back; they were already a doctor down and if he was really honest, he was worried about her. He scrolled through his phone before discovering an app he had completely forgotten about: Find My iPhone. He quickly searched for Sam before selecting her iPhone. He zoomed into her location and was slightly shocked. The beach? He thought. Why the beach, it's freezing outside. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of high-heels clomping down the corridor.

"Has she answered yet?" Zoe asked.

"Not yet, but I think I know where she is. I can get her, if you want me to?"

"Please do!" She replied. "But Tom, be quick, I'm already a doctor down."

"I'll be as quick as I can." He called, already heading out to his car.

Holby Beach- 14th February 2013:

TOM'S POV

By the time he had arrived at the beach, the sky had clouded over and had casted a dark shadow over the land below. To make matters worse, rain had now started pouring and Tom could barley see. If he wasn't worried about Sam before, he certainly was now. What kind of person goes to beach on a cold February day, in the rain? He speed up his pace; he didn't want spend any more time than he had to out here. As he reached the sand, he noticed faint, partially washed away footprints. And unless someone else had fancied a rainy walk, these were Sam's footprints. Following the trail, he came across a blue hoodie. Without even needing to pick it up, he knew it was Sam's. His heart rate quickened, as did his feet.

"Sam! He screamed, as he scanned the beach for any sign of her. Then, in the distance, he thought he saw something. A figure. But it was fast disappearing over the horizon. It was all he could do but stand there and watch as the figure disappeared from view, hidden beneath the waves...

Dun, dun, dun! Cliffhanger there for you. Please review and feel free to PM me. Thanks for reading!

Hannah xx