To be fair, we weren't very kind to George on his first night at Cambell dorm. As soon as he walked in, we pounced on him, took his bags and began to paw through his stuff. George gave up trying to reclaim his things quite quickly and sat on the end of his bed, waiting to be ridiculed and asking me everyone's name.
"I'm Edmund but most people call me Blackadder. This is Baldrick, my best friend. I don't really know why. This is my other best friend Percy and his cousin, Darling is over there with Melchett."
"I thought I told you to stop calling me Darling! My name's Kevin."
"Oh shush, Darling. You've got to help me find something incriminating." Melchett grinned. He was a rather tall well muscled boy and it was unlike him to take pleasure in harassing another student though he seemed to be enjoying it in this case. Suddenly, the sound of squealing girls erupted from outside.
"Always a pleasure Flash. How many girls was it today?" I asked.
"Fourteen...hey there's a new kid!"
"Yes, Flash. Weren't you paying attention in class?"
"Does he ever?" Percy laughed.
"Flash, this is George. George, this is Flash."
"Hi." George extended his hand. Flash stared at him for a second then punched him in the face causing him to fall rather heavily onto the floor. Flash put his foot on the skinny boy's chest.
"Are you a poof?" he asked. George, looking confused, didn't answer. Flash pushed down. George gasped in pain.
"Are you gay?"
"What? No!"
Flash released his foot. "Oh good. I'm Flashheart."
"I gathered that." George gasped. He rubbed his oxygen-deprived chest and tried to get some air back into his lungs by bending over. His brown eyes turned quizzical as he stared up at me.
"Does he do that to everyone?"
I laughed. "Yes. You should have seen what he did to the people who said yes. Well Darling is an example."
"Hey!" Darling objected. "I'm straight!"
"As a roundabout." I muttered. George grinned as he straightened up. "Are you alright?"
He nodded. Melchett made a strange triumphant bleat. Everyone turned around to see him holding up a photo album. He began to flick through it.
"Who's she?" Darling pointed to a short girl about our age with glasses and a black fringe.
"That's my sister."
"Oh. Well who's she?" He pointed to a girl with long blond hair and amber eyes.
"That's my cousin."
"Well who's that?" Baldrick, who was standing behind Melchett and Darling pointed to the page.
"That's my rabbit..."
"Well you have a sexy rabbit. What's it called?" Percy asked.
George blushed. "Flossy. My sister came up with the name. But... it's a boy."
The dorm went silent. George lifted his hands and twitched them in a strange movement.
"Awkward Turtle."
Darling nodded.
"Too true."