Aren't you guys lucky, I'm updating this fast ;)
Halfway through the night Catherine had heard Lou retching and had taken a large pan into his room for him to be sick in, he had asked her to stay which when she saw his sad eyes she had agreed but sternly told him that if he tried anything she would leave again and he would be left to be sick on his own.
It wasn't long after Catherine had gotten into the bed next to him that he had fallen asleep and began snoring, Catherine had been staring at the ceiling until she heard his snores. She had never shared a bed with him if it didn't involve them being naked, sweaty and their bodies joined in sweet bliss, it felt strange but a good strange. She studied his face as he slept, he seemed almost peaceful, cute even. Cute? That was a word she had never used to describe the man laying next to her, handsome yes, even sexy but never cute. She thought for a moment and decided that he was indeed cute, yes, the way he wrinkled his brow and his lips pouted slightly, he was definitely cute when he was asleep.
Sleep had eluded Catherine until the small hours of the morning when her mind had become sluggish in its thoughts and she had allowed that heavy feeling to finally pull her into its abyss.
When she woke it was to the sound of someone clattering around in her kitchen, lack of sleep and her survival instincts taking over she jumped out of bed without making a sound, grabbed her gun from its holster in the bathroom cabinet, she had them stashed all around her house for protection, more now than she did in Vegas and before her house was shot to pieces. She made her way silently down the stairs, her breathing shallow, she paused at the side of the kitchen door and took a deep breath to steady her nerves before barging in with her gun outstretched. As soon as she entered and saw Lou Vartann rustling up some bacon and eggs at the cooker she remembered everything that had happened, how she had come home to find him drunk on her doorstep, making him shower, tucking him into bed and later joining him there. She immediately felt foolish for overreacting and slid the gun into the nearest drawer as quietly as she could.
Lou turned when he heard the quiet scraping of the drawer being pushed back in, he smiled softly, almost sheepishly when he saw her. "Morning."
Catherine smiled back and walked to the coffee pot, where she found a freshly brewed pot waiting for her, she cast a quick glance at Lou to see him watching her. She smiled her thanks and poured a mug, added the necessary milk and sugar then took a seat at the kitchen table. A few moments passed before she remembered Toby, she looked around for the small pup but couldn't see him anywhere, she found this strange because he usually came bounding to her as soon as she opened her eyes, sometimes even waking her by licking her feet which she hated.
"Where's Toby?" she asked and looked at Lou.
He turned and smiled softly. "So that's his name, I asked him but he wouldn't tell me." he attempted to joke but Catherine wasn't paying much attention, she was now on her feet and making her way towards the living room where Toby's dog bed was situated, even if he did prefer sleeping on the end of her bed.
She walked in and found him in the middle of the rug chewing on a bone larger than himself. Lou walked up behind her with his own mug of coffee and smiled seeing the dog crouch down on its front legs, bum in the air and wiggling as it challenged the bone.
"You were still asleep and Toby needed the bathroom, you didn't have any food in the place so we went to the store," he smiled seeing Toby jump to the side slightly and challenge the bone again. "we stopped by the pet store too and Toby picked out that bone. He quite a character." he chuckled.
Catherine let out a sigh of relief and relaxed, she didn't know what she thought had happened but Lou taking her dog to the store to buy food and a bone wasn't even in the list of possibilities.
They stood silently watching the dog for a while longer before they both headed back into the kitchen, Lou finished up making scrambled eggs, bacon and toast while Catherine sat at the table taking sips of her coffee, the events of yesterday running through her mind. She had questions, like why was he here, why had he been drinking again and what the hell had caused him to grow a beard.
Lou knew Catherine was thinking, she had that little crinkle on her forehead, the one that he found adorable. He had first noticed it when he was working a case with her and the evidence and confession hadn't matched up, he had known at that moment that he loved that little crinkle. He allowed a few moments to watch her before he placed a plate of food in front of her and sat opposite with a glass of something that certainly wasn't coffee. Catherine looked at her plate then at him and the glass.
Lou noticed where her gaze had settled, he held it out slightly and showed her the contents. "it's a bloody mary, my hangover cure." Catherine frowned slightly, not liking that he was having alcohol to cure the after effects of having too much alcohol. "Don't worry, I'm not going to drink after this, this just takes the edge off."
Nodding Catherine pushed her plate away slightly making Lou sigh softly. "Cath, I'm sorry about yesterday, last night. Things have been…they've been…wrong since you left…."
"Sure, blame me for you getting wasted." Catherine rolled her eyes and stiffened slightly
Lou sighed and shook his head. "I'm not blaming you Catherine, I know I only have myself to blame for it. I just….I was finding it difficult, I needed to get away from the feelings for a while and drinking seemed a good idea at the time. Not so much now." he chuckled and rubbed his temples.
Catherine looked over and felt the anger from a moment ago dissipating. "Lou…" she started. Lou looked over at her, his blue/gray eyes meeting her sky blue ones. Catherine knew she needed to explain herself but she wasn't sure how he was going to react, especially since he had started drinking again. "McQuaid, he was more than a colleague."
Lou nodded, he had already figured this out for himself, the way she had avoided his question at PD had been enough of an answer, what he didn't know was just how far things had gone. He chose to remain silent as Catherine continued talking.
"You know he worked with me on the gun case, well after we wrapped that he came to my house to apologise for going over my head." she looked over and saw Lou staring into his cup. "Nothing happened then, well he touched my cheek but that's it…until I saw him again a few days later when he came back to Vegas. He called me and invited me to his hotel room, I went." she mumbled and looked down, Lou closed his eyes and his grip on the glass tightened.
A few moments passed before Catherine continued. "We kissed, things got pretty heated and we ended up on the bed. We were just about to…when our pagers went off. That's all that happened, we didn't do anything after that. We got dressed again and went to work, the next time I saw him was when you saw us talking at PD."
Lou didn't know what to think, what to feel. He was mad, mad that another man had put his hands on Catherine's body, mad that he had seen her naked. He was also sad, sad because he knew he had led Catherine there, his jealousy and his pushing to get her to open up had led her to another mans bed. Then there was the jealousy, another man had turned Catherine on enough to get her into bed and take her clothes off, he didn't like it one bit. Yet through all these feelings there was still that glimmer of hope, because she hadn't gone through with it, she hadn't slept with the guy. And she was telling him so surely that meant something.
The silence dragged on, Catherine knew Lou was fighting what he was feeling so she remained silent and still, waiting for his calm demeanour to snap. It didn't, instead he slowly raised his head and quietly said "Did you love him?"
Catherine raised her eyes to his and shook her head. "No, it was just physical attraction. I cant see why now, he was too…..vain. No man should spend longer than a woman on his hair." Lou had to chuckle slightly at that. Catherine smiled softly and carried on. "He wasn't what I normally go for at all, I like my men to be men, a little rough around the edges."
Lou smirked at her. "Am I rough around the edges?"
Catherine smiled shyly and looked at the table, she didn't know what it was about Lou but he had this way to turn her into a schoolgirl again. "Yes you are, you're the hard detective at work, gruff demeanour and take no shit attitude." she chanced a glance at him, he was watching her as she spoke. "But you're also sweet, when we're alone you know how to treat me. You know what I want without me even having to say it." Lou had to smile at that and reached across the table for her hand, when she didn't pull it away he laced their fingers together.
"That's because I love you." Lou's voice came out soft, Catherine's jaw almost hit the floor.
"You….you…..you what?" Catherine was stunned to say the least.
Lou got up out of his chair and went around to her side of the table, he knelt on the floor and looked into her eyes as he said as sincerely and honestly as Catherine had ever heard his voice. "I love you Catherine Willows."
Catherine looked into his eyes and saw the truth there, he did love her. Her immediate reaction was to run, she didn't do well in situations like this, love for Catherine normally spelt trouble. Especially when it came to men, all the men she had loved in her life had either died or left, there was Eddie, Mike, Warrick, Sam and even Gil. Admittedly she had loved them all in different ways, some as friends or even family, others as lovers, yet they had all left her. She didn't want Lou to leave her like that, he didn't deserve to be killed just for loving her.
Gulping she stood from her chair and started to pace the room, so many thoughts where whizzing around her mind at that moment. On one hand she had the doubts and worries from her bad luck, on the other she wanted to throw herself into his arms and tell him she loved him too. She knew she couldn't leave him hanging much longer, the poor guy had just confessed he loved her, opened his heart to her and here she was, practically stomping on it as she paced the floor.
She wrapped one arm around her waist and brought her other up so she could run her fingers along her lips, a nervous trait of hers. Lou noticed and stood up, he gently touched her arm. "Hey, I'm not expecting anything back. Not until you're ready."
Catherine looked at him and nodded slightly. "Can we talk about something else? I'm not ready to go there just yet." Lou nodded and smiled softly and ghosted his fingers down the soft skin of her arm before moving to sit at the table again.
Catherine took a moment before she joined him again, this time however she picked up a rasher of bacon and began to nibble on it. She glanced at him and placed the bacon back down, wiped her hands on one of the napkins he had set out and began talking. "Why did you come here? And why have you been drinking? What about work? Do they know where you are?"
Lou smiled slightly for a moment. "Which question do you want me to answer first?"
Catherine thought about it for a second before answering. "The first." she picked up her now cold mug of coffee, made her way to the sink and poured the contents away before pouring herself another mug.
Lou waited until she was seated at the table again, he noted how the sun was shining on her face, making her pale skin seem to glow in its rays, her hair shimmered. "Okay, first question. Well I came here for you, I missed you and I didn't get a chance to talk to you before you left. I wondered why that was?"
Two hours later and most of Catherine's questions had been answered, she had found out that Lou had started drinking again around a month after she had left Vegas. She'd found out that he'd gone to The French Palace after hearing that she had once worked there, he had talked to a few of the old patrons that still frequented the place. According to what he had told her they had all been missing her and had spoken fondly of her.
Lou hadn't been the only one who had been open and honest, Catherine had told him about exactly what her share in The Eclipse was, how she had found out Sam was her father and the repercussions that had come from that particular mistake she had made. She'd also told him about how Eddie had treated her throughout their marriage, her addiction to cocaine and the hard months she had spent getting off the disgusting drug. Lou had been patient and listened to her throughout, when she had started talking about Eddie he clenched his fists under the table. If Eddie hadn't already been six feet under he would of happily beat his ass to a pulp for hurting Catherine like that.
The talk had been nice but Catherine really had to start getting ready for work, after a quick shower she changed her clothes, put on a little natural looking make up and ran the hair brush through her hair, not really caring that she hadn't straightened it and that her soft curls were on show for all to see. She grabbed the coffee to go that Lou had made for her and the little packed lunch he had thrown together, she gave him a small smile and a muttered "Thanks." before heading out the door, just before she closed it she paused and called through. "Make yourself at home, help yourself to food," that sentence made Lou chuckle slightly, she didn't have any food in the house besides the breakfast stuff he had brought but the offer was sweet. "Oh and could you let Toby out occasionally for the bathroom? I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise."
Lou smiled at her and walked to the door with Toby at his heels. "Go Catherine, we'll be fine and I promise I'm not going to drink." he held his fingers up in the well known boy scout code of honour.
Catherine smiled and would later wonder what had possessed her to do what she did next but at the time it had seemed right, she stood up on her tiptoes and placed a gentle kiss on Lou's lips. Lou had kissed back instantly, just as softly, both knew that they weren't ready for anything more than light kissing at this point in time, that they needed to do a lot more talking before things would go further.
Pulling back slightly Catherine ran her fingers across the soft beard. "Tickles," she smiled at him.
"I'll shave it while you're at work if that's what you want."
Catherine shook her head and kissed him lightly again. "No, leave it for a bit." she smiled at him. "I've never been with a man with a beard before."
Lou smiled and held her hand softly, their eyes connected and they both felt that familiar feeling settle in their stomachs, the same feeling from when they were dating. Lou wanted to pull Catherine back into the house, sit on the couch with her and talk some more, maybe even a little making out. Catherine wanted that too but she knew she had to work, Lou being in her house and making her feelings all confused again didn't stop criminals from committing crimes.
She pulled her bag up her arm again, it had slipped during their kissing, she was just about to start talking when Lou placed his finger against her lips. "I know, you have to work." he smiled. "I'll be here when you get back.
Without a word Catherine nodded, smiled that smile that had attracted him in the first place and left for work. Lou now had to decide what he would do for the next eight or so hours, normally he would turn to drink but he had promised Catherine he would stay sober, he looked around the entrance hall and for the first time noticed just how many boxes were piled up around the place. He Smiled at all the neat little piles with Catherine's elegant scrawl on the side or top explaining which box was to go where, he set about moving them to the right rooms.
Catherine's at work, Lou's moving boxes…wonder what's going to happen next ;)