Julian groaned frustrated. It was unbelievable!
He just saw the most amazing person n the planet, someone who captured his mind (and his heart, if he were bold enough to say that) in just one tiny moment. And now he was driving off, to the airport, with no chance of seeing that boy again. Perhaps he was lucky enough to be in New York soon again? Maybe his management and the Studio were up for some more interviews at MTV, some publicity for the show and for Julian the chance that maybe the boy of his life would show up again at the back door, or maybe sit in the audience.
Julian thoughts didn't sway from the boy. From those sad eyes that locked with his, although there was no way that the other young man could have seen his through the dark lenses of his sunglasses.
Dammit, why did this have to happen to him? Julian felt a strange tugging in his chest, his heart beat furiously against his ribcage. What had this teenager done to him? He had only looked at him for a moment, but it had been enough.
Julian still felt the tingle of excitement when he took in all of the boys appearance in one second. He could clearly see his slender figure in front of him, the hair that had a golden tint in the blazing sun, and the eyes, the eyes that said so much with just one look. This sadness, this loneliness.. just like the one Julian could see in his own when he looked into the mirror after an exhausting day on set, with no energy left to keep up his mask.
And Julian could still he the images the boy had conjured up in him. How the boy's frame fit perfectly into his side while they were standing in front of the photographer's at the Oscar Red Carpet, arms slung around each other's waist, bodies flush against each other. How the boy tilted his head to lean it against Julian's temple, how Julian turned his head to kiss his cheek, a simple and yet sweet confession about where they stood that made his lover blush and giggle happily. Whispered "I love you"s when he had to go up to accept his award, and the teary glistening in his eyes when Julian proposes instead of thanking the Academy.
How they would cuddle up on his couch, watching a movie together, a bottle of wine in front of them on the small table. How his hand snaked around Julian's waist to slip underneath his shirt, pushing it up ever so slightly. Lazy kisses because neither of them had to go anywhere for another day. Fingertips sweeping across his collarbone, eyes caressing his face with so much adoration Julian almost felt like his heart would rip open his chest right there and ten and jump out of the window, running to the stranger that already felt like The One for Julian.
Quickly, Julian shook his head. How could this have happened? When did he get that sappy about someone who he didn't even know? He didn't even have a name! How could he be in love with someone who was nothing but a face to him? This was absurd!
He tried to distract himself for the rest of the time he had until his car arrived at the airport. Nothing like reading his new script, memorizing the lines Grant would have to croon into his girlfriend's ear.
But it was no use. With every sentence, Julian's thoughts slipped back to the mysterious stranger with the sad eyes. He kept thinking about how he wanted to say those things to the boy, about how much he craved to hold him in his arms, about how he wished the date at the swing set was not with Grant's girlfriend but with the beautiful boy from New York.
Julian sighed heavily, and tossed his script across the limo. What was his life now? He just wanted to quit, leave the show and spend his days trying to find this boy. He felt tears swell up inside of him, and he couldn't help but sob silently. From one moment, he want from lonely, but okay to devastated and heartbroken.
But how much he wanted to quit, he knew that was the worst possible idea. His only chance to see the boy again was to keep going, to keep doing interviews and shows, and events. Always hoping that amongst the fans waiting to catch a glimpse of their precious Julian, he would wait. Standing there like a beacon of light, a ray of sunshine, the shore of a seemingly endless ocean. The boy without name was his hope, his reason to keep going. And someday, he would be his.
On his plane, Julian tried to concentrate. He needed to be as good as he possibly could, to up his chances of seeing the boy again. He needed to, there was no other option. And the first step was to learn his lines. Although instead of the girl he had to woo with his soft spoken words, he imagined the young man, blushing delicately under his gaze, biting his lower lip when he would whisper to him "You are all I'll ever need" and "You're the one for me".
In the meanwhile, the boy stared after the limo, smiling sadly. What a coincidence, on his one day in New York he would by chance come across Julian Larson. He dragged his cardigan tighter around his shoulders, pretending to listen to the girl standing next to him who kept gushing about how beautiful Julian had looked, and about how she needed to get a hand on that magazine with his topless pictures. The boy smiled a little, touching his bag in which he knew a copy of that magazine lay safely. It was supposed to be a gift for her, but now he guessed he needed to keep it. Something about Julian had captivated him in that one second, that blink of an eye when he felt his gaze in himself, despite the dark glasses hiding Julian's eyes. He didn't need to see them to know that there had been a connection. If only he could ever see him again...
Life went on, and Julian was more then motivated to work even harder, give more interviews, attend more events. And the days he was not busy working until late at night, he spend the little spare time he had going through fan pages, looking for accounts of that day, trying to find out about the boy. But until now, he had no luck, no one seemed to know that stranger.
One evening, he was on his way to another red carpet event. Some premiere of sorts, and he was more then excited. Not only was it an awesome movie, maybe he would finally see his nameless stranger again. Someone from one of the forums he frequented those days had talked about a group of Julian fans from the New York area coming to L.A. to get a chance to see him again, and apparently they had all been at the stage door that day.
Smiling to himself, he looked out of the window of his car. And then, just before he blinked, he saw him, walking down the street. The car breezed past him, and Julian almost screamed. "Stop the car, now!" his hand was already on the handle, and he was out of the car even before it completely stopped. Stumbling onto the sidewalk and earning confused and somewhat shocked looks from the bystanders, he raced down the street, ignoring the calls of his driver that he was going to be late.
He cursed silently. The car had been too fast, it was almost impossible to catch up. Still, he had to try!
He passed the spot where he had seen him, paying close attention to who was walking in front of him. He had to be here somewhere!
But no matter how hard he searched, the boy was gone. He peeked into stores, looking around corners, and debated running down another street that met the one he had seen the boy walking down when his driver pulled up next to him.
"Please, Mister Larson, if you don't get in you'll be late! And I might lose my job.. I have three kids at home!"
Sighing deeply, Julian looked down the street, wishing desperately to catch a glimpse of him... But nothing. Cursing under his breath, he opened the door and got into the car again.
Just at that moment, the boy exited a little coffee shop with the girl clutching his arm, happily chatting away. He caught a glimpse of Julian, getting in the car, and for one moment, his heart skipped. It had been two month since they had locked eyes in New York, and he had missed seeing him, however pathetic that might sound. What was he dong here, on this street, when he was supposed to go to the premiere? Could it be... had he seen him? But no, that was impossible. Why would Julian care about seeing him again? He probably didn't even remember, even if that moment had been burned into the boy's memory. Quietly, he sighed, earning a confused look from the girl. "What is it? You're not taking back your promise to take me to the premiere, do you? C'mon, we're late already! We should hail a cab!"
Quickly, he shook his head. "You're right, we really should... it's not my fault, though, YOU wanted to get some coffee first. So if you miss Julian, don't you dare to blame it on me!"
Julian's car pulled up to the red carpet half an hour later. The waiting in line to arrive was always the worst, and Julian just hoped the boy had decided to show up. If not, the evening would probably be ruined.
He put on his game face, smiling just before someone opened the door for him. immediately, he was swept up in the flashes and the shouts of his name all around him. Fans squealed, screamed and cried, but Julian just smiled, waved and looked over the masses quickly. If he was here, he would probably be able to see him across the girls, after all the boy was taller then any of the teenagers fan-girling over him.
He moved up to sign a few autographs, when a picture of a birthday party was shoved into his face. "Hey, could you sign this? It's my birthday!"
His breath caught in his throat. From the picture, a pair of sad eyes looked up at him, and the girl smiling at Julian from the crowd threw her arms around the boy's neck in the picture. Julian swallowed. This was it.
"Sure, happy birthday.. how old are you?" he asked, trying to hide just how excited he got.
"16! I'm Emmy, by the way!"
"Emmy, that's a nice name. That your boyfriend on that picture?" Asking this made Julian's heart ache. But he had to know.
"No, that's my cousin. He always says how stupid I am for being your fan, and that I could never get you to congratulate me. So I'm proving him wrong today!"
Julian laughed, despite his heart shattering. So this boy wasn't a fan, he was annoyed by his cousin. Probably he wasn't at New York to see him, it was just to accompany his Emmy. Still, the connection they had, the pictures he had seen before his eyes in that moment... Could he have been so wrong?
"Tell you what, I'll do something even better! Give me your camera" Julian whispered to Emmy, and handed it to his manager who took a quick snapshot of Julian kissing. "Okay, send me the pic so I can tweet it, okay? That will show Adam for sure!" Julian nudged her gently, making her giggle.
"Oh wow, thanks! He'll be so jealous! You're the best, Julian!"
When Julian turned around to face the press, he could see Emmy disappear into the crowd, running to her cousin standing a little in the distance. He looked up when she waved the picture in his face, directly at Julian.
Julian's breath hitched. If he didn't know it better, he could have sworn Adam's eyes looked even sadder now, and he had to swallow. He felt like he could not take his eyes off the slender boy, a shiver ran down his spine when he realized the mysterious stranger nw had a name... Adam.
Adam, the boy with the sad eyes which seemed to burn into him once again, Adam, the boy who kept his attention although he really had to get to the press. Adam, the boy who's cousin had now a picture of Julian and her, and by which he would be able to find her again, maybe keep some kind of contact and find out more about Adam. Maybe even find him on twitter or facebook, and strike up a conversation, of course using a fake account.
Adam with the sad eyes didn't look away when Julian turned around, walking towards the waiting press. The sad eyes didn't leave Julian's figure until he was gone, dissapeared into the theatre. Adam with the sad eyes who never before wished to be a cute girl like his cousin.