Chapter Two:
Elizabeth can barely stop the tears from trickling down her cheeks as she stares into the hazel eyes of Major Sheppard one last time. The moment lasts forever…but not long enough. He breaks away from her anguished gaze and runs.
Elizabeth stands there in the abandoned control room, silent and numb, disbelief and horror freezing her in her place.
Go…That one word has ripped her world and heart into pieces.
With icy logic and control Elizabeth locks that thought away. Cramming her shattered grief for her greatest friend away in a box to be forgotten and suppressed until this is over and done with. Deal with it later. Always.
Maybe she isn't so different from the Wraith after all.
"What is the status on that damn jumper?" Colonel Everett voice snaps angrily over the radio.
Although she knows he can't know, although she knows he isn't to blame, although she knows he is doing his part just as much as the rest of them, rage boils up in Elizabeth at the man who is complaining while John is the one sacrificing himself.
Of course she doesn't show any of this inner fury, just as she never shows any emotion. She replies calm and collected. "The jumper is away."
The control room, which was so empty and silent a moment ago is filled with people; talking, screaming, yelling...no crying though she notices coolly.
How can they not be? How can they not be on their knees sobbing, when John is flying above us right now, inches from certain death? The hidden self speaks from behind its cage. She shuts her away again.
Of course she knows why: She's doing it herself, there's no time to stop, they all have to push their personal feelings aside to work for survival; Her job is to put on a brave face, to support everyone, to keep up the morale, even if her own heart is breaking.
"Elizabeth, you can't stay here." Carson begs desperately.
"He's right," Rodney adds pleadingly. "Elizabeth you have to leave."
Elizabeth turns away to watch at the little blue dot among the sea of red. They don't know, of course they don't. "No." She hears herself say. "Not yet."
Inside, in her hidden self, the tears cascade down her cheeks and her heart breaks.
Go...