Fury bit back a thousand cuss words, reminding himself there were kids in this hall- thanks to Loki. After giving Thor a lecture about germs and explaining how unsanitary it was to suck on his hammer, and helping Bruce into some clean pants, Fury followed Loki tentatively into the little room where the Jotun had collected the children.

Clint was playing with a plastic bow and suction cup arrows, claiming he was "playing Cupid" and hoping to hit Natasha, who looked very confused through everything. Thor was in a wrestling match with Tony, Steve was playing with a Frisbee, and Bruce was reading a science book far above his expected reading level at his age.

"All right, kids, let's figure out how to turn you into adults!" Loki declared.

Clint shook his head and started to reach a red crayon to the wall. "I don't wanna be a 'dult!" he argued stubbornly, and was just about to color on the wall when Fury scooped him up with one strong arm. He looked down at Natasha, whose little brow was furrowed into a perplexed frown.

"What's wrong, Natasha?" he queried softly, but the little red-haired girl just cocked her head in confusion. "Are you all right?" She did not answer in English, but instead murmured a couple words in… Russian.

"Of course!" Fury groaned and put down a squirming Clint. "She would still have lived in Russia at that age- she doesn't understand English? Loki-"

"Sorry, Director, but I haven't the slightest clue," the alien prince replied, knowing exactly what the director of SHIELD was going to ask him. "I speak Asgardian, Jotun, Norse, English, and Bulgarian, but not Russian."

Fury raised the brow of his one eye. "Bulgarian?"

Loki looked sheepishly at his feet. "Let's just say that when all of you battled my army, that wasn't the first time I invaded your planet."

"Ah." Fury could make further inquiries into the subject, but he didn't really want to know. He simply sighed and looked down at the six-year-old Black Widow, who was saying something in Russian, her tone very frustrated and eyes on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry, I just don't understand you." This was great. There was apparently a language barrier.

Just then they were interrupted by the sound of Steve crying. Loki turned to the little blonde child and wiped his tears with his thumbs. "What's wrong, little guy?" he asked, getting down on his knees and putting a hand on the little Avenger's shoulder.

"T-t-tony took m-my flag," Steve sobbed, clutching at Loki's shirt with most little hands. Loki sighed, forgetting that apparently the child Rogers was not nearly as brave and strong as the adult, post-Super-Soldier-serum one.

Loki turned to a much younger Tony Stark, seeing him without a goatee for the first time in his life. The boy was running around waving a little American flag behind him like it was a banner or a superhero's cape. "Tony, did you take Steve's flag?" he demanded, frowning sternly. For the first time, Loki was understanding why it was annoying to deal with mischief makers. What his poor family went through in the past.

"Yeah, so?" Tony crossed his arms over his chest. "What are you gonna do about it?"

"Don't speak to me like that, boy." Loki was almost frightened by his tone- he was almost sounding like Odin! He held out his hand and tapped his foot, waiting for Tony to hand back the flag. But he simply ran off, laughing. Cursing under his breath in some long-dead Nordic tongue, Loki took off after the Stark child and scooped him up by the ankles, snatching the flag from his hand.

Loki set Tony back down upright and handed the flag, which was apparently Steve's toy, back to said child, who sniffled and thanked him heartily, happy now that he had "Flaggy" back. Loki glared in Tony's direction. "Now, apologize to Steve."

"Why?" Tony demanded, and Loki, frightening himself with just how much he was feeling like his adoptive father, thought that the child needed a good spanking. "Because you took something from him," he responded gruffly, "and you are being a little brat."

"I am Tony Stark."

"And I'm Loki of Asgard! Now apologize." Tony shuffled his feet and grumbled a half-hearted apology to Steve, who was so happy to have Flaggy back that he wasn't even angry.

"Blini?" Loki and Fury turned to Natasha, who was looking up at them hopefully. "Blini," she repeated, and Fury sighed. "Keep them entertained while I Google 'blini'," he told Loki, who nodded miserably. Fury exited the room, closing the door behind him, and Loki sunk down with his back against it, head in his hands. He peeked from between his fingers to see Clint coloring on the wall.

"What have I done?" he moaned, as the full weight of six child Avengers settled itself on his shoulders.