Arkhamverse and DCAUverse in a White Room
Part 2
"Morning, other me" DCAU Batman said, waking up and politely greeting his video game counterpart
"Good morning. I really enjoyed Downton Abbey last night" Arkhamverse Batman replied
"My butler Alfred has a Masterpiece Theatre collection" DCAU Batman added
"No kidding? So does mine" Arkhamverse Batman responded
Both stared at each other for a good long twenty seconds…
"You sure we're not gonna fight each other and see which is the better me?" DCAU Batman asked
"Nah. We'll let Ben Affleck be the judge of that next year" Arkhamverse Batman replied
"Good one"
"Thank you"
"Ugh… sleeping on the floor knocks me out…" Arkhamverse Talia moaned sleepily, getting up
"You could've taken the private room, but, according to the rulebook, that's the author's head office" DCAU Talia remarked
"Other Me, I have got to get you to a sleep clinic" Arkhamverse Talia snarked
"Come again?" DCAU Talia spat, confused
"Your snoring kept me up all night last night plus you talking about animated Batman in your sleep was driving me crazy!" Arkhamverse Talia snapped
"… Oh. Well, be thankful Nyssa isn't here. She has a reputation for sawing logs" DCAU Talia responded
"… Nyssa isn't in this universe. She's in the Arrowverse, remember?" Arkhamverse Talia groaned, pinching her nose
"I see the two of them are starting to know each other very well" DCAU Batman commented as the Talias spoke
"Quite right. This should be a very interesting morning" Arkhamverse Batman replied in amusement
"Ok, ok! I'm up! The next person who asks me to do Truth or Dare will get two bullets to the head!" Arkhamverse Two-Face growled, stumbling up dazedly
"Morning, Harvey" Batmans said in unison
"… Huh? Am I finally cracking up? Are you the real Bat, or are you the T-1000?" Two-Face asked
"… Yes" Arkhamverse Batman smirked, grinning
"DIE YOU FREAKY ASS CYBORG!" Two-Face yelled, firing his gun like a maniac, but no bullets came out
"Just kidding" Arkhamverse Batman chuckled
"Grrrr. I think being trapped in this room has deluded the both of your sanity, and I'm not meaning mine as well" Two-Face snarled, just as DCAU Two-Face arose with DCAU Poison Ivy wrapped in his arms
"… what in Stan Lee are you doing with her?!" Arkhamverse Two-Face asked in confusion and rage
"You know the old saying, twin; we fight we break up, then we kiss and make up" DCAU Two-Face grinned
"Wait a sec… did you just make a Katy Perry reference?" DCAU Talia asked
"Stay outta this, woman! If me and Pammy wanna make pop music references, then we will!" DCAU Two-Face barked
"Mm-hmm. Ain't that the truth, Mr. Big Sexy" DCAU Poison Ivy purred
"That's it! I'm taking Family Feud off of the DVR first thing tomorrow morning!" Arkhamverse Two-Face snapped
"Our favorite game show!" Both Vicki Vales said in unison
"…" Two-Face simply shook his head in disgust, staring at the scatterbrained copies
"Well, that was definitely a good night's rest, wouldn't you agree, Other Babs?" DCAU Batgirl asked
"Au contraire, mon petit" Arkhamverse Batgirl replied in a suave French accent
"…Babs and I went to Paris for our honeymoon" Arkhamverse Robin piped up
"Gee, that explains the mystery of why Batgirl smelled like croissants when she took her shower the other night" DCAU Catwoman said, getting up before stretching
"Well, good to be in my kitty basket again" Arkhamverse Catwoman yawned, curling up and purring in her sleep
"… Please don't tell me you two slept together in that cat basket" Arkhamverse Robin winced in disgust
"Well, you scratch my back and I'll scratch…" DCAU Catwoman started
"Ok, ok! I get your drift, just stop there, I gotta remove some images outta my head" DCAU Robin moaned, rubbing his forehead
"… Robin really needs to get whipped into shape. Look how well-groomed and masculine my Robin is" Arkhamverse Batman said, as he and his counterpart observed DCAU Robin's awkwardness
"Hah! My Robin is better than your Robin" DCAU Batman bragged
"…":
"Uh… did you just…" Arkhamverse Batman started nervously
"Yeah. My bad, I, uh, kinda crossed the line twice with that one" DCAU Batman said sheepishly
"Wait a sec, you both go on TV Tropes too? That's, like, my favorite web site ever!" DCAU Talia exclaimed
".. Of all time" Nightwing deadpanned
Two-Face stared at him and snarled, "You just had to throw in a Red vs Blue reference, now, did you?"
"Amy likes that show, plus my kids watch it, so sue me" Nightwing snarked
"Wait a minute… Did you… you married that Bludhaven cop?" Both Two-Faces asked in unison
"No, he did" DCAU Nightwing piped up, pointing to Arkhamverse Nightwing "I married Starfire" DCAU Nightwing added
"What?" Both Robins asked in shock
"Hey, it's not my fault. You two were both bickering over which of you was better for Babs" DCAU Nightwing shrugged
"Hehehe, good one, other me" Arkhamverse Nightwing snickered
"Uh…" DCAU Batman started, everyone facing him
"… Would I be perfect for *him?*" DCAU Batman asked, pointing at Arkhamverse Batman
Silence completely covered the entire room. Both Two-Faces dropped their coins and jaws in shock
"… I… I can't believe it… you… you have feelings for me?" Arkhamverse Batman asked hopefully
"Dude, I said I would be perfect for you as a brother" DCAU Batman said, specifying
"… Oh" Everyone said in relief
"Boy, I'm glad we got that out in the open" DCAU Robin said
"Hey, what up, peeps? Killer Croc is in the house!" Arkhamverse Killer Croc announced, entering the room
"Get off, pushover! I am the one true Killer Croc!" DCAU Killer Croc boasted, shoving Arkhamverse Croc out of his way
"… So you don't play a trumpet in New Orleans and you didn't swallow a clock?" Arkhamverse Croc asked
"You definitely bonked the nail on that one, buddy" DCAU Croc deadpanned
"Well, you two actually do have a thing in common: you both smell" DCAU Talia moaned, pinching her nose
"Nah, little lady. That's just the sweet smell of swamp water on my skin. It'll make your skin nice and smooth" Arkhamverse Killer Croc purred
"A-ha! You are from Louisiana, I knew it!" DCAU Croc cheered in victory
"Rats" Arkhamverse Croc snarled, handing DCAU Croc $30 as he snapped his fingers in defeat
"Rats? Where? I wanna chase a rat!" Arkhamverse Catwoman babbled, her tail swishing wildly
"… Did you give her your plant food again, Ivy?" DCAU Catwoman asked in boredom
"Pfft. Of course not, silly. I gave her petunia flavored catnip" Ivy answered
"Oh. So that explains this, then…" Arkhamverse Nightwing deadpanned, as Arkhamverse Catwoman scratched on the wall and then licked herself
"… I never thought I'd see the day when Selina would finally act like her namesake" DCAU Batman said
"Hmm. You should see the other Selina when she's not in costume" Arkhamverse Batman retorted
To Be Continued…