"Well this is your room." We were stood in a hallway outside a simple, mahogany door which was currently shut. I didn't want to open it, as soon as I went in and begun to unpack that would mean this was it. This was my new home. Jace seemed to understand my apprehension as he placed a hand on my forearm and turned me slightly to face him. "My room's just here," He pointed at a door almost directly across from what was to be my own, "If you need anything just knock." With a wink he released me and entered his own room. Okay maybe he didn't understand. Men never do. I released a heavy sigh and gripped the door handle firmly; after all there was no point in indulging in more anxiety. My path was set. I just had to follow it now.

I was knelt on my knees in the centre of the room, in front of my now half empty suitcase, a picture of Sophie and I clutched so tightly in my hands that the knuckles were white. I was thrust back in time to my first meeting with Sophie.
It was her first day at the London Institute and I believe she was feeling pretty much the same as I was now. I had been fourteen and so had she. I was in the middle of my morning run, I hadn't been inclined to greet the newbie thinking she wouldn't know the blade from the hilt of a sword, how wrong I'd been. I had heard sobbing and slowed to a stop, listening intently for the direction it had come from. Gaining my bearings I snuck in that direction, the silence rune making my footsteps inaudible, I was five foot away - glancing between a break in the trees - when I saw long brown hair falling around pale hands and shoulders, her face was hidden behind her hands and I caught the sight of the clairvoyant rune on the back of her left hand. I knew who she was from that one mark and my heart broke for her, seeing the obvious anguish she was in.
"Sophia, yes?" Quicker than I had expected she was on her feet and a seraph blade was pointed at my throat. I flipped backward, landing on the balls of my feet, hands raised in a sign of surrender, a slight smirk on my face at being pleased with her speed. After inspecting me and realising I wasn't a foe she lowered the blade but stayed in a fighting stance. As did I.
"Who's asking?" My smirk widened, I loved her attitude. Even after being caught bawling, with red marks ringing her eyes, she showed no chagrin or anything but a steely resolve.
"Clarissa Fairchild. Daughter of Jocelyn. Shadowhunter of the London Institute." Her stance shifted, changing it from wary to understanding.
"It's Sophie. Sophie McPartland." Progress at least although...
"Sophia suits you more." She smiled a little but it didn't reach her eyes.
"I like it. Sophia it is." I smiled back before sitting on the slightly damp grass and sprawling out. She slowly sat down across from me.
"So? What's wrong?" She closed up and shook her head.
"Nothing. It doesn't matter."
"Okay but I'll say this; if it's a guy, he's not worth it." She laughed a sad laugh.
"You ever been in love?" I shook my head with a slight laugh at myself and my lack of a love life.
"No. Men and I... we don't really get along when it comes to more than friendship."
"Ohhh... so you're a... yanno?" A laugh burst from my chest before I could even attempt to stifle it.
"HELL NO! I just want what I can't have then when I've got it, I no longer want it. Jordanna says I just have trust issues." She smirked a little at that.
"Why the trust issues?" It was too early for me to trust her with them details so... wait... trust... there was that word again... maybe Jordanna was right... Of course I shut that thought down where it began and chose a smartass remark. As usual.
"Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies. They're the main reason I have trust issues." She laughed, the first genuinely happy emotion I'd seen since meeting her but then the light dimmed and she was serious once more. "You can trust me, Sophia. Sometimes it just helps to talk." She nodded and looked up at me again.
"I moved here because of him. Jake." She winced as she said his name and I gave her a curious glance. "It's just that saying his name... it feels like my heart stops, like someone has ripped through my carefully stitched up world and exposed the infected, pulsing red tissue that I thought was healing. I gave him my heart and he gave his to someone else. It makes me heartsick. I never even said goodbye. I couldn't face him." I smiled sympathetically but though I'd never been in a serious relationship myself I had spent dozens of nights consoling Jordanna on her most recent breakups.
"You know something? It's better never to say goodbye, to just move on, to end the lie. Something I learned when it comes to relationships is that searching for happiness in other people is a waste of time, you should find happiness in yourself and if that doesn't work... there's always drinking." With a smile I jumped up and offered her a hand, she took it, then we went back to the institute and got trashed.

Tears filled my eyes and I squeezed them shut tightly as the swell of loneliness flowed through me like demon poison through the veins. With a frustrated groan I dropped the photo on my desk and unpacked the last of my belongings before sitting at the desk with my sketchbook and began sketching absent-mindedly, when I came back to myself and actually noticed what I'd drawn I slammed it shut and threw myself over to the other side of the room beside my dresser and yanked out a little black dress and some tights. I had drew him again, my evil, half-demon brother who had managed to get so far under my skin that every thought of him drove me to drink. It would be his birthday today and I mourned the loss of a brother I could have had, a brother who would have stood beside me and fought with me and threatened any one who might hurt me. A brother. The brother I lost to my father's experiments.

After a quick shower, I changed into my dress but instead of fastening my cute sandals around my ankles I decided it would be better to wear my combat boots... yanno... just in case. I strapped a dagger to my inside thigh, only just covering it with the dress that only fell to mid-thigh and was clingy in a good way; it looked hot but not like I was trying too hard not that I really cared what people think but it helped if I wanted free drinks. I threw a leather jacket on to fight the brisk wind I could see swaying the trees outside before stashing another dagger in my boot. I hurriedly reached for my stele and burned an invisibility rune into my skin. There was only a slight difference to the normal rune that every shadowhunter knew, just an extra line going through the central swirl, that would make me invisible to downworlders and my fellow shadowhunters too. I shoved the stele into my little black purse and snuck out. I hadn't really needed the stele in the end, no one was around.

Pandemonium? Cool. A downworlder bar. The Angelic Power rune shone around the sign, of course no mundane would ever see it but that didn't mean they wouldn't frequent the bar too. I loved partying with downworlders, they knew how to enjoy themselves and so did I. I headed straight into the girls room and took out my stele making myself visible again before heading to the bar. The bartender was a werewolf who gave me the stink-eye as I ordered a beer.
"I don't want no trouble tonight Shadowhunter." I just rolled my eyes. I swear they all thought that shadowhunters looked for reasons to kill them. So not the case.
"I'm just here to wallow in self-pity and have a drink, you wont get any trouble from me." He smirked and passed over my beer before winking and loping to another customer. Confused dot com; threatening one minute and flirting the next? Men. I was on my third bear when I heard the growl of the bartender, I looked up expecting him to be picking a fight with me but was instead looking over my shoulder. I turned to see Jace, Isabelle and Alec in their gear. Isabelle's whip was coiled around a vampire boy, Alec holding him still and Jace with his seaph blade, ready to plunge it through the vamps heart. Well shit. A girl can't even have a drink in peace without work interferring. The bartender turned to me as the blade plunged forward, not wanting to see the death.
"I thought you said there'd be no trouble." He growled. I raised my hands and shrugged.
"I didn't even know they were going to be here. Believe me if I'd known I wouldn't have chosen to have my pity party here." An outraged cry had me on my feet in milleseconds and turning toward where four vamps were jumping toward the shadowhunters. Double shit. The bartender spoke from behind me.
"I'll deal with the mundies. You'd better help your friends." With a groan of frustration I rushed into the melee, pulling the pair of daggers from my boots as I ran. Two had ahold of Alec and was attempting to bite him whilst Isabelle and Jace fought their own. With a practiced hand I threw the dagger straight into the back of one vamp, it sinking into its heart from behind before throwing myself at the other causing us both to land on the floor, me straddling its hips as I plunged the second dagger into its heart. I heard Alec wheeze out a thanks, I just looked up at him and nodded before grabbing my first dagger from the pile of ashes where the first vampire had fell and shoving them both into my boots. I didn't even look at the other two before stalking back to the bar, downing my half empty beer bottle and heading outside preparing myself for one of two options; getting back to the institute and collapsing onto the bed or getting chased down by the Lightwoods and Alec. Unfortunately for me it was the latter.