Chapter Two: The Realisation
Two weeks later
Amatis hadn't slept well in the last two weeks, she was just so overcome with emotion that she just couldn't stop crying to sleep every night. In the morning, she felt extremely sick and would just throw up all the time, morning, noon and night. Because of that and the divorce she hadn't left the house either.
2 days after Stephen left, she packed up all his belongings; clothes, gear, weapons and left them on the doorstep for him. But there was one moment during the past week that she couldn't forget about.
When an Iron Sister came to the house, but it wasn't just any Iron Sister; it was her mother, Cleophas. She had abandoned her and Luke to join them, when they were young, so Amatis was left to raise Luke. She knew why she was here, she was her to cut off her marriage rune. What kind of sick joke is this? Your mother cutting off your marriage rune. They didn't talk while she did it, Amatis didn't want to, so she just ignored her. But she could tell Cleophas wanted to talk; her touch was gentle as she cut the rune off. It was kind of nice feeling a gentle touch through something that painful, physically and emotionally.
After she was finished, she didn't feel anything, she just felt empty. Her marriage was over.
Then Cleophas spoke, "I'm sorry, Amatis."
She didn't reply. She just sat there, looking in the dining room, blankly. What could she say without getting angry. Sensing that she wasn't going to say anything, Cleophas just left. She wished she said something because after she left, she just wept and wept.
Over the next few days, she started to feel ill, at first, she thought it was a side-effect from getting her rune cut off, but she couldn't be that sick. She knew something else was wrong. So, she sent Jocelyn a fire message, asking to come to the house; she need to talk to someone, desperately.
About two hours later, there was a knock on the door. She answered and let Jocelyn in. It was pouring rain outside, Jocelyn was holding an umbrella, she left it on the porch and walked inside.
"Sorry, I took so long, had to sneak out of the house, Valentine would be so angry if he knew I was here," she said, taking off her wet coat, hanging up on a peg.
Then she looked up at Amatis, her face went white in shock.
"What's wrong? You look terrible," she said, noting Amatis frail appearance, then following her into the living room.
Amatis sat down on the couch, Jocelyn sat beside her and took her hand, sympathetically.
"Is this about Stephen? I am so sorry about that, Valentine had no right to do that to the both of you," she said.
"Yes, he did. If I were him, I would do the same thing," she said, looking down at her hands.
"Don't try and justify what he did, it was wrong. Is that why you want to talk to me about?" Amatis looked up in surprise at Jocelyn, she couldn't believe what she was saying about her own husband, the man she loved since she was 16.
But she shook her hand, "No, but it does involve Stephen.
"What about Stephen?" she said, puzzled.
"I think I am having Stephen's baby," she said, finally looking Jocelyn in the eyes.
Jocelyn couldn't hide her shock. I was written across her face.
"Oh, by Angel, are you sure?"
"I don't know, I am feeling really ill. Thinking it was just getting the rune cut off, but I know it is something else entirely. I thought maybe I might be pregnant. Did you have any symptoms?"
She knew Jocelyn was pregnant, Stephen had told her just before they separated.
"I was feeling sick and tired, but that's mainly it. Were those any of your symptoms?" Amatis could sense she was lying about the severity of her symptoms, by the dark circles under her eyes.
"Yeah, but worse."
Jocelyn looked worried like something else was going on. Something she wasn't saying. It was written across her face.
"You should see a Silent Brother the, send them a fire-message, ask them to come here. Do you want me to be here when they come?"
"No that's fine. Thank you for offering", she said, giving her a hug, feeling so grateful that she was here. But something in the back of her head was worried that she would tell him. She needed to ask.
"You won't tell Valentine, will you?"
"Why would I tell him? Are you afraid?"
"A little bit, I am more worried about Stephen."
"I won't tell him, I promise."
After a few more minutes of talking, Jocelyn left. Amatis sent the fire-message to the Silent Brothers. She wasn't expecting a reply. She knew they would just turn up. So, she just went on with her day, well trying to anyway.
The next morning, there was a light tap on the door, she answered and there stood Brother Zachariah, wearing the usual parchment robes and with his head down.
Then she felt his voice in her hand, he sounded so young.
You called to see me, Mrs Herondale?"
Hearing him say her married name felt like a knife to the stomach.
"I'm not Mrs Herondale anymore," she said, uneasily. She led him into the living room.
You and Stephen aren't married anymore?"
"No, we aren't"
Why did you call on me, Ms Graymark?"
"Pregnancy"
He looked at her in surprise, the hood nearly slipping from his head. She was astonished to see how young he looked, couldn't be more than 17, but the runes on his face made him look a little older. He still had his hair, which was jet black, which was surprising because most Silent Brothers she had met were bald.
Please lie back and lift your shirt.
She did, and he started to examine her. Which was him just touching her stomach. When he finished, she put her top back down and sat up.
You are pregnant, Ms Graymark, you are about 4 months into your pregnancy.
She couldn't believe it, she was that far along, didn't even know until now.
"How can I not know about this for 4 months?" she said, frightened. Scared that she did something to the baby.
It could many things, it looks like the symptoms didn't manifest themselves until after your divorce, which I am sure you have under a great deal of stress and that's what brought on the symptoms.
"Is the baby alright?" she asked.
She is healthy and strong.
She couldn't believe it, a girl. She put a protective hand on her stomach. For the first time in a while, she felt happy.
Without saying anything, she left Brother Zachariah out. She was still in disbelief, she was pregnant with Stephen's child and he wasn't even here with her. This should be a happy time in her life, but it wasn't, she was alone. She realised, it didn't matter that Stephen wasn't here, she had a piece of him, inside of her. That made her happy.
Suddenly, a thought popped into her head; she could never tell Stephen about the baby. She didn't want to risk his safety because she knew that he would come back, even though she wanted him, desperately, to come back. Valentine would retaliate, probably kill Stephen, herself and their daughter. She didn't want that to happen, Stephen was safer no knowing the baby didn't exist, then she thought it would be safer that nobody knew that she was pregnant at all, so it wouldn't get back to Valentine. She was going to keep this baby a secret.