As raindrops kept falling angrily on the roof of Meredith's house, and everywhere else in Seattle, Cristina kept sipping her coffee. Soon her friends would have come down to have breakfast, after a quick shower. Even Meredith did so and it scared her a little, but the thing that scared her the most was the thought of going back to work. Five days ago she was about to get married and now? She used to be focused and always in control and then… she fell in love and she was left at the altar. It could have been considered ironic, except the fact that she was involved and she still loved Burke, so she didn't find it ironic at all. She sipped her coffee again as she was joined by two of her roommates. Meredith searched blindly for the coffee pot, while Izzie started to make french toast right away.
"Hey Cristina…" they both murmured.
"Hey… where is Evil Spawn?"
"Shower…" answered Meredith while putting milk in her coffee and preparing a cup for Izzie.
When Alex came down the smell of french toast was filling the entire first floor of the house and even Christina was chewing some of it.
"Morning ladies!" he was smiling broadly as he accepted a plate from Izzie.
"It's too early to be this cheerful, not even Barbie was like that when she came down"
"She's not a morning person" Meredith stated the obvious.
"Well, I don't care! Today is a good day since I have my first solo surgery!" he explained in between bites of french toast and fresh fruits.
Izzie and Meredith smiled "Congratulation Alex!"
"Yeah, whatever…" Cristina had a small smile on her face though.
"Nervous?" whispered Meredith.
"No… oh well, yes… but I'm still me, even if Burke broke my heart…" Meredith smiled.
"When are you planning on talking with McDreamy anyhow?" added her friend.
"Yeah Meredith, seriously…"
"I'm an avoider… I avoid"
"Yes, we know you are, but… you need to talk to him, he loves you and you shouldn't waste your chance at love" Izzie looked at her friends, a sad smile on her face.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong Alex… don't help Meredith change the subject…"
"Sorry, I didn't mean too" he flashed her a small smile.
"So?" Cristina kept staring at Meredith.
"So… what?" Meredith tried to play innocent.
"McDreamy! When are you gonna talk with the guy?"
"I don't know…" she mumbled pretending to be concentrated on her french toast.
"Why?" Izzie was focusing on her again.
"Because… he told me I was… the love of his life" she finally whispered blushing heavily.
"Seriously?" Izzie was beaming.
"And what did you do?" Cristina had a feeling her person had probably done something stupid.
"I… uhm, well…" she paused "do we really have to talk about this? Why don't we talk about Alex's operation?"
"No, I'm listening… I'm interested in this" Alex was grinning at her.
"Spill it Meredith!" ordered Cristina pouring herself some more coffee.
"I told him I had to make sure you got married" she answered in a small voice.
"Seriously?" Izzie jaw's dropped while Cristina shook her head.
"It must have been great for his ego, I bet!" added Alex , a grin on his face.
"Okay, you know I haven't been McDreamy's biggest fan, but I think, I think that…the answer you were looking for was something like I love you too… " Cristina spoke using the tone that was usually reserved to small kids.
Izzie and Alex nodded vigorously, the french toast forgotten.
"But, well… I'm all dark and twisty, he's McDreamy… I won't ruin his chance at happiness"
"That's bullshit Meredith, the guy loves you and you love him too… you are just scared…"
"I think we should go, or we'll be late…" was all Meredith murmured in response. Izzie was about to keep going, but Cristina stopped her, clearly Meredith didn't want to talk about it, not now at least.
In one of the hospital's on call room Derek was staring at the ceiling. It had been five days and the only words that Meredith had spoken to him were the ones on the elevator on her first day as a resident. She had been avoiding him and she was damn good at avoiding, she had probably majored in avoiding in college. He would have got to be the one to start speaking again, corner her somewhere and making her listen. He couldn't let her go, not like that. Staring at the ceiling waiting for his pager to start beeping he knew that he would have got to be the one going over and telling her that she was the love of his life, even if she was trying so hard to shut him out of her life.
The day was slow, Izzie Stevens was working with him, they had a removal of a tumor pressing on the frontal lobe scheduled for the afternoon, so she was running some lab on the Neuro patients that were about to be operated and he was catching up with some paperwork.
He was busy going over the last operation he had done the day before when there was a knock on the door and Mark Sloane came in without waiting for his answer.
"Hey Shep…"
"Hey… shouldn't you wait for an answer before going inside someone else's office?"
"Maybe, but I wasn't sure if you would have let me in, so…" hi drifted off sitting opposite his former best friend.
"So… what's up?" he was too exhausted to put up an argument with him.
"I was wondering if you were interested in grabbing a drink together tonight… just like old times or something like that…" Mark found himself suddenly nervous.
"Uhm… well, actually tonight I think I should go talk to Meredith… she's avoiding me"
"Oh... I see, it's just that… will you ever give me the chance to prove you that I made a mistake, but… you're the closest thing to a brother I've ever had and…"
Derek stopped him "Mark… I'm sorry, I know that you've been trying to make it up to me somehow, but… well, I really need to talk to Meredith tonight. I don't want her to think that I've given up, because I haven't…"
"Oh… okay" he whispered "so, maybe… another night?"
"Yeah… even tomorrow if you are free… I am and Meredith is on call, so… you are the best alternative…" Derek found himself smirking.
"The best alternative? Should I be offended?"
"No… you can't blame me if I prefer Meredith to you though…"
"Touché… so, hey if Meredith doesn't want to listen to you I'll be at Joe's tonight…"
Derek truly smiled "all right…"
Mark was about to go out, but he stopped him "you should talk to Addie, you know?"
"And tell her what exactly?"
"You still love her, you can't lie to me… and you shouldn't lie to yourself either…"
"She clearly didn't want me…"
"Maybe she was just scared… maybe she made a mistake… if I can try to forgive you, you should definitely try to forgive her…"
"Maybe you are right…" he whispered before leaving.
At lunchtime the former group of interns found themselves together… Izzie was still mad at George, but she still hadn't got a chance to talk to him, so she was okay with him being with them. The others were just happy to stick together just like old times.
"So, Bambi… how's the new group of interns?" Cristina was curious, it was, after all, her first day back.
"Uhm… nothing special actually… they are kind of boring, I'm sure we won't cut any LVAD wire this year…" he tried to smile, he still hadn't told Meredith about her sister.
Alex stared at him, he was the only one who knew and he kept telling him that he should get a move on and tell her as well.
"Very funny, George!" Izzie was getting mad.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to remind you of Denny…"
"Yeah whatever… how's life with the wife?" she said bitterly.
"Not so good…"
"And why not?" Meredith found herself interested.
"Well, she is kind of disappointed that I failed…"
"So what? Does she think she's too good for you?" Cristina asked exactly what Izzie was thinking.
"I don't know…" he mumbled.
"Well, just tell her that you're still the man she married, even if you failed…" Meredith smiled at him.
"Oh… says the girl who doesn't want to speak with her boyfriend!" Cristina interrupted her and stared at her along with Izzie.
"Hey… we were talking about George, why do I always have to get pulled in, in those kind of discussions?" she was slightly annoyed.
"Because, Meredith, the fact that you're not talking with McDreamy is kind of stupid!"
"Well, I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you, but this is my decision to make… I'm not ready to talk with him… end of story!" she put the rest of her sandwich in her mouth, to put an end to the argument.
"Sorry Meredith…" both Izzie and Cristina murmured.
"It's okay" she answered when she was done chewing on her lunch. She then glanced at her pager "Crap, I gotta go… me and Addison are operating in half an hour, I need to prep the woman…"
They all mumbled bye as she run to the surgical floor.
"George, you need to tell her that her half sister works here… are you waiting for the girl to introduce herself to Meredith?"
"What are you blabbing about Evil Spawn?"
"Well… Meredith's half sister, Lexie is an intern this year…"
"What?" Izzie's mouth was hanging open.
"Yeah… she's an intern, we both have Bailey as our resident…"
"And… what are you waiting for to tell Meredith?"
"Well… I don't know…"
"George, don't be a baby… tell her when she's done with the surgery… she deserves to know…" Izzie had forgotten about her anger for a bit.
"Okay… I'll tell her when she comes out of surgery…"
After this Alex's pager beeped and the all decided that lunch was over and they went back to work.
When Meredith was done with her surgery she glanced at her watch, her shift was just about over… she would have gotten a 24 hours one the following day though.
"Good job in the OR Meredith…" Addison told her coming out from the scrub room.
"Oh… thanks… Dr Montgomery"
She smiled at the young doctor "have a good night…"
"Thanks, you too…" Meredith smiled back and went towards the locker room.
She was almost there when she stumbled up on George…
"Hey George…" she smiled "I'm going home…"
"Hey Mere… good for you… listen I need to tell you something…"
She looked at him, waiting for her friend to go on.
"Uhm… okay, so… you know that our half sister Lexie is a doctor right?"
"Why are we talking of her?" George was looking at her with a pleading look in his eyes, so she nodded.
"Good… then, well… you should know that… well, she's an intern… here at Seattle Grace… sorry I didn't tell you sooner I didn't know what to say and…"
"George, calm down… it's okay… she probably wanted to stay close to her father… now that her mother is dead…" she rambled out loud.
"So you're not mad at me?" ha asked.
"Why would I be mad at you?"
"Because I didn't tell you…"
"It's no problem George… thanks for telling me though… maybe you should introduce me to her…"
"Really?"
"Well…not right now, but… maybe…"
"Okay… well, have a good night…"
"Thanks, you too..."
She got into the locker room and changed herself, while she waited for Izzie and Cristina, Alex was on call that night.
"So… George told you, didn't he?" Izzie and Cristina were sprawled on Meredith's bed with her, eating ice cream from the tub.
"Yeah… my half sister works at Seattle Grace…"
"Maybe you've met her already and you didn't even know it was her…" Cristina piped in.
"Maybe… but I don't really care, you know… it's not her fault that my father abandoned me… and besides, Molly seemed quite nice…"
"Okay… but don't say that you're fine… we won't believe you!" Izzie was smiling.
Meredith smiled back "It's still raining" she added.
"What did you expect, we're in Seattle after all…" Cristina looked outside Meredith's window.
"I'm going downstairs to grab some other food, do you want something?" Izzie asked hopping off of the bed.
"Uhm… we should order pizza"
"Yeah, that's a good idea Meredith…" Cristina nodded along.
Izzie went downstairs and instead of grabbing something to eat she took the phone and ordered a big pizza with everything on top.
Fifteen minutes later the bell was ringing… Izzie ran downstairs surprised that the pizza was there already, she was even more surprised when she found herself staring at a very wet Derek Shepherd.
He was wet from head to toe and his eyes were sparkling with what seemed to be tears. He had his hands buried in the jeans' pockets and he hadn't bothered to take an umbrella with him.
"Dr Shepherd… hi" she tried to smile.
"You can call me Derek, you know…"
"Okay… Derek… hi… you want to speak to Meredith, don't you?"
"Yeah… do you think she'll listen to me?" raindrops were falling from his clothes creating a pool on the porch around his feet.
"You'll have to make her listen…"
"That's what everybody keeps saying to me…"
She smiled "I'll call her… do you want to come in?"
"I don't think it would be a good idea…" he tried to smile, but he found it impossible with the way he was feeling and how much his heart was beating.
Izzie disappeared on the stairs and he was left alone on the porch.
"Where's the pizza?"
"It wasn't the pizza guy Meredith…"
"Then who was it?" wondered Cristina.
"It's Derek… he wants to talk to you…"
"I… I don't want to go, what do I say to him, what…"
"Meredith, you have to go, he's on the porch, soaking wet and he wants to talk to you…"
Cristina nodded "You can't run away from this talk forever Meredith…"
She reluctantly got up from the bed and went downstairs… she opened the door and just the sight of him made her heart beat faster.
"Hey…" he whispered "I wasn't entirely sure that you would have come down…"
"I wasn't sure either…"
"So… we need to talk Meredith…"
"Yeah… I think we do…"
"What you said at the wedding… you weren't just talking about the ceremony, were you?" he was afraid of her answer.
"No…" she whispered in a small voice.
"Meredith… I don't want you to give up on me… on us… I know life was never easy for you, but… I want to spend the rest of my life proving you that you're not ordinary and that you are what saved me and what made me a better man…"
"Derek…" she tried to interrupt him, but he didn't let her.
"I know I've made some mistakes… I know I told you that I would have always showed up and…"
"And then you didn't…" she continued for him this time.
"And the I didn't…" he agreed "… I know I told you that I didn't know if I could keep breathing for you, but… Meredith… I want to breathe with you… please, give me the chance to prove you that you're the love of my life…" he had a pleading look in his eyes.
She was at a loss of words, he was saying all the right things and he was soaking wet on her porch, he had showed up because he knew that she would have kept going on with avoiding him. She was about to answer when the pizza guy came over.
The young man pushed the large pizza in Derek's hands "It's $14,50…" he reached for the wallet and gave him a twenty.
"Keep the change…" he said before giving the pizza to Meredith who called Izzie and Cristina.
They both came down and disappeared in the kitchen to eat.
"Do you want to come in and have a slice?" she whispered slowly.
"No Meredith… I just wanna make you understand that I'm not giving up on you… either you look at me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me, or…"
She stared at him, deep blue eyes locking with her emerald ones… "I… cannot tell you that I don't love you" she finally whispered.
He let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding and smiled at her "That's good…"
"But… we need to go slow Derek… you hurt me over the past year… you hurt me bad…"
"I know I did… and I'm sorry, we'll go as slow as you want and I'll make it up to you, even if it's gonna take all my life…"
She truly smiled for the first time "Why are you putting up with this? Why don't you just wait for another girl to come up, someone who is not dark and twisty like me…"
"Because, you are it for me… any other girl would mean nothing to me, you are the one I want and I will wait for as long as you want and spend the rest of my life with you…"
"Are you talking about marriage?" she was suddenly scared.
"Relax, I'm not talking about marriage, at least not now… but, someday, in the future, you'll be my wife and we'll have the perfect life… I'm not saying this to scare you, but… I think we should tell each other how we feel, I don't wanna end up losing you… okay?"
"Okay…" she nodded "so, where do we go from here?" she added.
"First of all, I'll gladly eat a slice of pizza and then… you could tell me when you think you'll be ready to go on a real date, just the two of us…"
Her smile grew wider as she opened the door and hung his wet jacket… she slipped her hand in his and they went in the kitchen.
They would be okay as he felt her warm hand in his cold one, he couldn't help but smile broadly at her.