Author's Note: Oooh, lots of drama in this chapter! Gotta love the drama! Chapter 3 may not be posted for awhile, unfortunately. This one took me hours to write and I'm not gonna have as much time since Thanksgiving break is almost over. It also took me a long time to get this document to upload because of all the problems the fanfiction network has been having. I'm gonna try to finish this whole fic by Christmas, however! Also, I'd like to give a special thanks to everyone in the Arnold's room chat who helped me out with this chapter when I got stuck. (Especially epicpiefight, whom without I wouldn't have known the meaning of the word "parapet".)

Personal Inscriptions:

Acosta perez jose ramiro: Muchas gracias! I always wondered what happened to that lizard. He couldn't have just disappeared, right?

Hellerick Ferlibay: The first chapter was kind of slow, since I felt the need to explain everything. Bad habit of mine.  Hopefully you'll find the next few a bit more original. You're absouletly right about Lila. Sorry for the mistake. I changed it!

Silverwolf1212: Is this a soon enough update for you? 

mxnhpfreak: I have lots of twists in mind. I'm pretty sure that this is going to be a little (or a lot) different from a typical A/H fic.

I'm Not Perfect

Chapter 2

Lila skipped a bit as she walked down the uneven, cracked sidewalk. Today had been ever so wonderful, and it could only get better. When she got home, she would take a nice long bubble bath, do the rest of her homework, and then Justin would stop by her house at six thirty and they would go to Arnold's party. Everyone she knew was going to be there, and it would certainly be fun.

She took her keys out of the pocket of her baggy jeans-a touch of style from her earlier years living in the country-and unlocked the door. She stepped inside and closed it carefully. The hinges on the door were loose and rusty and had been known to fall off.

Dropping her backpack and looking around the living room, she sighed. She might have to change her plans a bit to clean the house. Daddy had been working overtime at the factory in the past few weeks and had barely bothered with anything else. Unread mail and week old newspapers were strewn about the floor. Every wood surface was covered with at least a centimeter of dust. Lila peeked into the kitchen. Here, it was even worse. Dirty dishes were piled in stacks on the counter. The kitchen table was stained and had bits of food stuck to it.

She heard a rustling sound coming from her father's bedroom. "Daddy?" She walked down the narrow, badly lit hallway. The light bulbs needed to be replaced as well. She pushed open the bedroom door. Her father was sitting at his desk in the corner, bent over. "Daddy?..."

"Lila!" he jumped up from his chair in surprise.

She looked at the desk where he had been sitting. Tears immediately filled her eyes at what she saw. "Oh, Daddy," she whispered. "Please, not again. You promised…."

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. What was there to say? The fine white powder lined up in neat rows on top of the hand mirror on his desk said it all. The rolled up dollar bill was even still clutched in his right hand. He had broken his promise, again. He had gone back to his old ways. The months of tears, therapy, and repenting meant nothing now.

Stumbling backwards out into the hallway, she turned and ran. "Lila…." His voice called out after her. It didn't matter. There were no words to take away what she had just witnessed. Her world became a distorted blur of tears as she wretched open the front door. Lila staggered over the threshold and sprinted down the sidewalk.

Why, why, why? Why did he have to do this? After all these years, she still couldn't comprehend it. What tore her heart apart the most was she thought that things were really going to be okay this time. He had finished group therapy last May. His words still rang clear in her head.

'I'm clean, Lila. And this time it's for real. I love you too much to go down that road again. With everything that's good in me, I promise you, never again.'

And he had kept his promise, for a while. This summer had been ever so wonderful. He took her places and met all her friends. The house was always clean and he didn't miss a single day of work, which brought in more money. They always had enough to eat, and Daddy cooked dinner almost every night.

Was it her fault he had started again? Had she made too many demands? She shouldn't have let the house get so bad; she should've cleaned it sooner. It wouldn't have killed her. She had responsibilities too.

Weary, she stopped running and leaned up against a building, gasping for breath. After a bit, she made her way up to the stoop of the building and knocked softly on the door.

The door opened to reveal a tall, lanky teenager with shaggy brown hair hanging in his hazel eyes. "Hey, baby," greeted Justin, pulling open the door. "Didn't expect-" He broke off when he saw her face.

She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his shoulder, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh, Justin," she whispered. "It's awful, just ever so awful. Daddy started using again."

"Oh," Justin sighed, wrapping his arms around her. "Baby…"

"I came home from school and I saw him-"

"Sshhhhh." Justin put a finger to her lips. "It's okay, Lila. Just don't think about it, okay?" He smiled and put his fingers in his ears. "I don't want to hear about it, and I'm sure you don't want to talk about it. So why don't you just come inside and spend the rest of the day here?"

"But, Justin…"

"We'll go to Arnold's party tonight. And it'll take your mind off the whole thing. Look, baby, there's nothing you or I can do about what happened. Your dad has to make his own decisions. So just try not to think about it." He kissed her forehead and guided her inside the house.

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"Iiiii'm a Yankee Doodle dddaaaaannndy, a Yaaaaankee Doodle do or diiiiiiiiieee." Grandma sang. Arnold had come home from school to find her, Oskar, Ernie, and Mr. Huynh stomping around the house in a sort of miniature parade. Oskar was playing his saxophone, Ernie, a tuba, and Mr. Huynh, an accordion. Grandma, of course, was at the front, leading the band, singing with a baton in hand. The band stopped its patriotic song when they saw Arnold.

"Afternoon, Arnold," his grandma greeted him.

"We were just doin' a little practin' for your party tonight," Ernie explained.

Arnold smiled. "Thanks for agreeing to play at my party, guys." His boarding house family may not have been the most popular band around, but they were the cheapest and probably the most unique.

"It is no problem," said Mr. Huynh. "I just hope it does not rain. That would be very bad!"

"Come on, gang," Grandma waved her baton. "We have to practice more so we'll be ready for the fashion boutique. One, two, three…I come from Aaaaallllabma with my banjo on my kneeeee…I'm goin' to Louisiana myyyyyy true love for to seeee…" The parade stomped up the stairs, leaving Arnold alone in the foyer.

Arnold shook his head in amazement and briefly wondered what it was like to live in a normal house. Probably really boring. "Grandpa?" he called.

"In here, short man," came the reply. Arnold followed the voice to the kitchen, where he found his grandfather spreading peanut butter on a piece of bread. "See, Arnold?" he said, waving the knife around and splaying peanut butter everywhere. "I finally got smart. Your grandma's cooking has had its last number on me. From now on, I eat nothing but sandwiches." Grandpa slapped the two pieces of bread together and took a bite. "Want some?" he held out the sandwich. Peanut butter oozed out of the bread and onto the table.

Arnold wrinkled his nose. "Uh, Grandpa, that peanut butter looks awfully runny."

"What the…" Phil squinted at the label on the "peanut butter" jar. "Why, what do you know! This isn't peanut butter, it's mustard." He chuckled as he screwed the lid back on. "So, when's that party of yours supposed to start? Those loonies have been banging around the house all day. I couldn't get any peace even in my office!"

"It's supposed to start at six. But most people will probably arrive fashionably late. Gerald's coming over at four to help set up." Arnold sighed, remembering what Gerald had told him earlier.

"Why so down, short man? I thought you'd be happy to have a party. Even if you have to have those people as your pathetic excuse for a band."

"I am happy," Arnold explained. "It's just I'm kind of worried. Gerald told these two girls that they could bring extra friends. People I didn't even invite. I just hope things don't get too out of hand."

"Don't worry, Arnold, our roof is huge! Besides," Grandpa smirked, "Pookie'll chase most of them away anyway." The smirk suddenly disappeared from his face as he jumped up and clutched his stomach. "Oooooh, the mustard. If you need me I'll be in my office!" He ran out of the room.

Arnold rolled his eyes and went upstairs to get ready. At ten minutes after four, Gerald arrived…with some unexpected accompanists.

"Oh….hi, Mandy. Hi, Christina." Arnold glanced at Gerald for an explanation.

"I kind of just, you know, ran into these ladies on my way here, and they decided it would be fun to come help set up. That's cool, right?"

"Uh….okay. Come in." Arnold led the three of them upstairs.

"Your house is, like, so totally cool!" Mandy exclaimed.

"It's so big!" added Christina.

"Uh….yeah, thanks. It's a boarding house." He led them through a door and up second flight of stairs to the roof, all the way with Christina and Mandy saying how "totally cool" everything was.

"Wow…." said Christina when they reached the roof.

"This is…." Mandy said.

"SO TOTALLY COOL!" they exclaimed in unison.

Arnold rolled his eyes. What could Gerald ever see in these two? "Okay, we have to move some tables up here, all the food, and a few chairs in case people get tired…"

"You mean we actually have to move furniture? All the way up these stairs?" Mandy asked incredulously.

"That's the plan, yes."

"Oh, we're not doing any of that stuff." Christina examined her nails. "We just got manicures. We only came to plan the social scene." She grinned. "You will not believe all the cool people we invited. A bunch of upperclassmen are coming! A bunch of juniors, and even a few seniors."

Arnold gritted his teeth and tried hard to control the mixture of anger and annoyance he felt rising. He and Gerald made their way downstairs alone to get the tables, leaving the girls chattering excitedly upstairs.

"Honestly, why did you bring them?" Arnold asked when the girls were out of earshot.

"Aw, come on, man, they're just trying to help. They just want you to have a cool party. Besides," he winked at Arnold, "you know they're really foxy."

"The seventies are over, Gerald."

"Just give them a chance. You're the one who's always trying to find the best in people."

This was true. But it was very hard to find good qualities in Mandy and Christina. They stood on the roof and chatted for two hours, never lifting a finger even to carry a bag of chips up the stairs. And from the snippets he caught of their conversations, he wasn't impressed. They spent most of their time bashing other people, talking about nearly every one of their classmates behind their backs. Arnold was getting very aggravated with them by the time six o clock rolled around. Gerald, however, was far from aggravated.

"Would you ladies like to dance?" he asked, holding out his hands.

Mandy pointed out the obvious. "There's no music! The band isn't here yet."

"Music is optional," he assured them as he took both their hands.

Arnold watched as Gerald sauntered across the floor, engaging in dramatic, made up dance moves. It looked like disco combined with ballroom dancing. The girls giggled, trying to keep up with his strange rhythm. Arnold rolled his eyes. It was about the third time that day he had done so. Where was the "boarding house band", anyway? It was five after six.

"Tada!" Gerald finished his dance moves with a side split. The girls giggled and clapped their hands. "So totally cool," they assured him.

Gerald stood up. "That was just a taste of what I can do. If you want to see more, how about we go to a real dance?"

Oh, boy, thought Arnold. Here we go.

"How would one of you lovely ladies like to go to Homecoming with me?" Gerald bowed and extended his hand.

The girls looked at each other and frowned. "We would love to," said Mandy.

"But we don't like going anywhere without each other!" Christina explained. "If there was a guy who was like, your best friend or something, and then we went in a big group, with all the cool kids, of course, then we would go."

"No problem," Gerald said. "Arnold will take one of you."

"What?!" he looked at Gerald in shock. "Wait a minute…"

"Come on, man. It'll be fun. We'll be in a group with all our friends. Besides, who else were you planning to ask?"

He had a point there. Arnold couldn't think of a single girl he really desired to go with. Well, there was one girl. Lila's freckled face popped into his mind. Out of the question, of course.

Gerald had a pleading look on his face. Arnold knew that this was important to him.

It was only a three hour dance. If it would make his best friend happy…

"Okay, I'll go," he sighed.

The door leading downstairs burst open and Grandma emerged, waving her baton. Behind her, the band was plugging away at their instruments, followed by a long line of teenagers.

"Paaaaarrrtttyyyy!" shouted Arnold's grandmother

The roof quickly filled with kids, and by six thirty, the party was in full swing. The band paraded around, playing whatever random song Grandma designated. Arnold tried to greet all of his classmates as they came in, but there were so many! He had invited the majority of the ninth grade class, plus a few others who were older or younger.

"Hey, Patti," he greeted the six foot tall, muscular junior. She pushed a lock of golden brown hair out of her face and smiled at him.

"I brought a fruit salad," she said, holding out a bowl. Arnold directed her to the food table, where Sid, Stinky, and Harold were having fun stuffing their faces.

"Heeeey Harold, look," Stinky pointed at the girl with a chicken wing he was holding.

Sid elbowed Harold. "It's your giiiiirlfriend."

Patti smiled at their words as she set the bowl on the nearly full table.

"Shut up!" Harold shouted with his mouth full, spraying crumbs all over his companions. "Just because I asked her to Homecoming doesn't mean she's my girlfriend…" he leaned over to Patti with a smile and whispered, "…yet."

"Ah, shucks, Harold, I reckon we're just messing with you," Stinky said. "On accounta we're jealous of ya. Neither of us has a gal to go to Homecoming with yet."

"I'm not jealous," Sid exclaimed. "I know exactly who I'm taking." He pointed across the room to Rhonda Lloyd. She was in the middle of a circle of popular kids, including Gerald, Mandy, Christina, Iggy, and a few others. As usual, she was well dressed in a black knee length skirt, a white designer sweater, and a pair of black velvet boots. She was the center of attention, talking loudly about something. "I haven't asked her yet, but I know she wants to go with me. She's probably talking about me right now!"

"Sid is such a loser!" was what Ms. Rhonda Wellington Lloyd was actually telling her friends. "He still wears his hat on backwards. Heeellllo, the nineties are over!"

Arnold winced at her words as he walked over to the group. He wasn't pleased that she was making fun of someone she had known since grade school. Nor was he pleased that most of the kids around her were laughing at what she had said. Fortunately, Gerald wasn't among them. His attention was diverted to something across the roof.

Arnold followed his gaze to Helga and Phoebe, who had just come upstairs. Gerald stared at the petite Japanese girl as she walked over to the food table with her best friend, talking and laughing. He watched the way her chocolate brown eyes gazed from behind her glasses at the crowd around her, taking in the unfolding social scene. The way she tucked a strand of silky black hair behind her tiny ear. The way her delicate features lit up as she engaged in a conversation with Helga.

"Go talk to her," Arnold suggested, his voice interrupting Gerald's thoughts.

Gerald played dumb. "Who?"

"Uh, Phoebe?" Arnold gave him a "duh" look.

Gerald averted his eyes. "I'm sure, I mean, this is a really big party. I'm sure there's other people she wants to talk to. I'll just be in the way."

Arnold gazed at his best friend. Gerald chatted up girls daily, and yet he couldn't find the courage to talk to Phoebe. Why was he so nervous?

"Hey, guys," greeted Justin, his arm around Lila as the two of them approached the group. Inside Arnold cringed. Even after six months, he still hadn't gotten used to seeing the two of them together. It hurt.

Cheerful greets were bestowed upon the couple. Lila and Justin were well respected in the popular crowd, though they were friends with pretty much everyone.

"Lila, that is such a cute outfit! It has such a country charm!" gushed Rhonda. Lila was wearing a white and green checked blouse, baggy jeans, brown cowboy boots, and a white scarf around her neck. Her auburn hair was pulled into a French braid that fell down the length of her back.

"Thank you," Lila said quietly, almost in a whisper, with a small smile. She didn't add in her usual "ever so much". Arnold was startled at her voice. Something was definitely wrong, but neither her boyfriend nor anyone else in the group seemed to notice.

"Oh my gaaaaawwwd!" Christina suddenly screamed. She and Mandy suddenly broke away from the group and ran to the door. A group of older guys had just emerged onto the roof. Arnold didn't recognize any of them. The girls squealed and hugged each one of the guys in turn.

"Whoa!" exclaimed Justin, releasing his arm from Lila. "I haven't seen those guys in forever!" He ran toward the guys. The rest of the group except for Arnold and Lila followed him, leaving the two of them alone.

Lila stood, her eyes glazed and unfocused, staring at the floor. Several yards away, her boyfriend exchanged greetings and bear hugs with the new arrivals, forgetting all about the girl he had left standing alone.

"Do you know who those guys are?" Arnold asked her.

"Justin was telling me about them earlier." Again, that same quiet, almost whispery voice, not like Lila at all. "Christina and Mandy invited them. They're old friends of his. He really hoped they'd come tonight."

He stepped toward her, cautiously, as if she would break to pieces with any sudden movement. "Lila, are you all right? You seem really down about something."

She sighed. Tears began to fill behind her aqua eyes. He wanted so badly to help her, to wrap his arms around her, hold her tight, and take away the pain she was obviously feeling. "Oh, I suppose it's just some family problems."

"Want to talk about it?" he asked gently. They started to walk together toward the other side of the huge roof. Here, the light of the lamps that Arnold and Gerald had set up didn't reach, so the area was bathed only in faint moonlight. Arnold and Lila were at a distance from the rest of the party. There was only one person who noticed their disappearance.

"Where's the football head?" Helga asked Phoebe.

"I'm certain he should be by his best friend's side as usual, but he's not." Phoebe said as she stared at the boy with the tall stack of hair. He was standing by the doorway, talking to all of his usual friends, plus a few other boys she didn't recognize.

Helga noticed the way the Japanese girl looked at Gerald. "Oh, criminy, Phoebe!" she sighed. "Go on, go over there and talk to him."

Eagerly her best friend said, "Are you certain you don't mind me leaving you here alone?"

'"No sweat," Helga assured her. She watched as Phoebe practically dashed over to Gerald and immediately animated him in a conversation. Rolling her eyes, she turned back to the food table and refilled her cup of punch. Why didn't those two stop torturing themselves and just get together already?

"Nice night, huh?" said a husky voice from behind her. Helga turned and saw a tanned, muscular guy standing behind her. He was much older than she was, probably a junior or senior. A mop of curly black hair covered his head and fell into his grey eyes. He scratched his head and looked up. "I mean, it's a nice night with the moon and everything…"

She just barely stifled a laugh. Was he hitting on her? "Sure it's a nice night. It'd be even nicer if you left me alone," she said blatantly.

He laughed and reached over, grabbing a plate from the table and filling it with food. "Coy, are we?"

Helga narrowed her eyes. Couldn't this guy take a hint? Any more of this, and she might have to put The Five Avengers back into a job.

Deciding that she would rather not start something at her beloved's own birthday party, she stomped away from Mr. Smooth, crossing the other side of the roof to the glass ceiling of Arnold's room. Once there, she lied down on her stomach, pressing her face to the glass. She had only been it in a few times, almost none of the times for pleasant reasons. It was exactly as she remembered it: neatly made bed, bookshelves, an alarm clock made out of potatoes and wires and a miniature clay Arnold, stereo, computer, and a remote controlled couch.

Arnold's room. The temple to his soul. Did she dare enter?

Cautiously she looked around. No one was paying attention, so she carefully lifted up the glass and slipped inside. Helga landed with a soft thud on Arnold's bed. For awhile she just lay there, enjoying the softness of his blue down comforter. Her mind wondered what it would be like to lay here in bed at night with her beloved. She crawled forward and buried her face in his blue and white striped pillow case, breathing in the scent of his shampoo that she loved so much. She had searched every drug store for the past five years, smelling every shampoo on the shelf, but she could never find this exact scent. Clerks were starting to think she was either crazy or had some kind of shampoo addiction.

Lifting herself from the bed, she looked around the room. The place was spotless. The floor was bare, the shelves neatly organized. Arnold was almost as bad as Phoebe when it came to neatness, but she loved him all the more for it. Helga winced as she looked at his closet, remembering the unpleasant night she had once spent in it.

Crossing the room, Helga collapsed on Arnold's red couch with a sigh of joy. She pulled out her locket and kissed it. "Oh my beloved, here I sit in the place where you spend most of your days. For most of your life you have laughed, cried, played, worked, and slept within these four walls. And here am I, your greatest admirer. How deep is my longing for you! How I wish I could laugh, cry, play, work, and sleep here with you. Ooh, Arnold…" she fell face down onto the couch and closed her eyes.

"Cool room, huh?" she heard a husky voice say. Helga jumped up from the couch, shoving her locket into her shirt. Standing in front of her was the guy who had been hitting on her earlier. Her heartbeat quickened. How much had he heard? Why hadn't she heard him come in?

Well, doi, she told herself. She pretty much blocked out everything when talking to her Arnold locket. Her fists clenched. This guy wasn't making her too happy. "What're you doing here?" she demanded.

A slow smile crossed his face. It wasn't a friendly smile. It gave her the creeps. "Oh, just checking out the room," he answered.

She rolled her eyes. Whatever this guy was up to, she wasn't sticking around for it. "Whatever. I'm out of here."

He stepped forward. "You're not going anywhere."

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Arnold and Lila walked together, staring at the crescent moon. After awhile, he broke the silence by once again asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Oh, I don't know, Arnold." Lila jumped up onto the parapet and let her legs dangle. "I'm certain you don't want to hear about it."

He climbed up next to her. Taking a chance, he put a hand lightly on her shoulder. She didn't pull away. "I'd like to hear about it, if it'll make you feel better to talk about it."

She turned her eyes toward him.

He waited.

After several seconds, she managed an almost imperceptible nod.