Kotohime and the Exploded Tool-Shed Incident
Hayoto grumbled as he bent to pick up the scattered pieces of debris littering his back yard. Or at least he tried to - the splintery chunks of wood tended to crumble into ash around his fingers, which did nothing to improve his mood. Of all the things to happen to him, this was undoubtedly the weirdest and-
"I came as soon as I heard!" gasped a sudden voice.
The farmer turned to behold a red-haired woman skidding to a stop next to him, her bright purple kimono rumpled from her haste, a worryingly eager expression on her face.
Hayoto's brow furrowed with confusion. "I'm sorry?"
"The Incident," she explained, flapping a heavy-sleeved arm at the blackened patch of ground near the treeline. Her eyes shone with anticipation, which was certainly made the more unsettling by her red irises. It gave the impression that she could pounce at any moment.
"Incident? W-what Incident? Do you mean the shed?"
"Of course!"
"But it happened yesterday," Hayoto protested. The woman ignored this and strode over to examine the site.
"Start from the beginning," she ordered. "What happened?"
"Well, like I said, it was yesterday," Hayoto began, surprised with himself for going along. "It was late aftern… actually just about evening, the sun was going down. We were getting ready for supper. But then there was a kaboom and a flash of light. And when I went out back to check, my shed was gone," he finished.
The woman nodded and crouched next to the scorched earth of the crime scene, running her fingers through the dirt and ash. "What was in it?" she asked.
Hayoto shrugged. "Nothin' much. Mostly used that one to store firewood, and we went through most of the pile over the winter, so it was no big loss. And it could've been worse, I guess. At least it didn't hit the fields. Gave everyone quite the fright, though." He scratched at his thin mustache distractedly.
But the woman wasn't really listening, instead scrutinizing the ash. She poked a fingertip in it and brought it up for a sniff. "No smell of saltpeter, no debris from a bomb or missile… this was obviously a magical attack. But who would want to strike at a humble farmer's tool-shed?"
"Uh, I wasn't keeping any tools in it," Hayoto supplied, "and everything's been worked out, I mean Miss Kirisame was over within the hour to apologize and pay for-"
"Do you have any enemies?" the woman asked.
Hayoto blinked. "I-I don't think so," he stuttered. "I mean, me and Ryota – he's the miller – well, we never got along, but-"
"A miller wouldn't be flinging magic like that around," the woman finished for him, nodding sagely. "At least not fire magic, which this obviously was. Everyone knows millers prefer more subtle, gradual spellwork to grind away their enemies, if you will pardon the pun."
"Uh... yeah?"
"So a random attack? Or was this a message? A message from a deadly new foe eager to display her power and disdain for authority?" The woman drew herself up with a determined look in her eyes. "One way or the other, I'm getting to the bottom of this."
"But miss," Hayoto pleaded, "I got compensated for it and - Shichiro and Yori are on their way over and we'll have the new shed up before the day's out - it's already been settled-"
"Thank you for your time, citizen," the woman said brusquely. And with that she began marching away from the slack-jawed farmer.
"Who are you, anyway?" he finally asked.
The woman spun on her heels, making her long red ponytail whip around her as she flashed him a confident smile. "I am Kotohime, princess of Gensokyo. But fear not, my good subject, for I am here in my role as police officer to see that justice is served and this Incident resolved."
Hayoto was speechless, and could do nothing more than watch her walk away. After she had rounded the corner of his house and disappeared out of sight, the farmer looked around, blinking as if coming out of a daze, trying to find anyone who could assure him that he hadn't hallucinated the whole thing.
-x-
-1-
"And here you are. Watch the edges, dearie, they're sharp," warned the kindly old shopkeeper as she handed over the bundle of paper.
Keine noted that Mrs. Hasegawa gave that warning every single time the schoolteacher visited her store, and that not once had Keine actually cut herself on the parchment. But she smiled and said thanks all the same. Mrs. Hasegawa was a nice old lady, shrunken and wrinkled like an overripe apple, but always smiling.
"Oh, full moon coming up already?" the shopkeep added as Keine opened the door to leave.
Keine's eyes widened and she shifted the load so she had a free hand to pat her hair above her temples. "Ah, yes it is, two days from now" she said, flustered. She couldn't feel her horns yet, and if her tail had-
"I thought so," Mrs. Hasegawa chuckled. "Your hair loses its blue tinge and picks up just a hint of green. Oh, I'm so jealous; mine just goes from gray to white, one-way!"
They shared a laugh and Keine relaxed, saying one last goodbye before finally slipping outside with her basket of school supplies. It was the weekend, so the village wasn't as busy as usual, and if she wasn't sidetracked by any more conversations with friends she could drop this stuff off and be home for a nice pre-emptive nap before the whole were-hakutaku thing started in earnest-
"Keine Kamishirasawa?"
The schoolteacher started at the voice, and turned to see a red-haired woman in a formal purple kimono standing uncomfortably close. "Oh, Miss Kotohime. Excuse me, Princess Kotohime."
"Officer Kotohime, for the moment," Kotohime corrected absently. "Here on a different type of official business. Let's walk," she said, flapping a huge sleeve down the street in the opposite direction from the school.
Keine froze for a moment, unsure of what to do, but soon found herself strolling down the road next to the self-proclaimed princess. There was something about Kotohime, Keine reflected, that warped the world into going along with whatever mission or obsession she was focused on at the moment. It was probably a powerful innate ability, a magical gift that could be used for great good or great evil, but in Kotohime's case was used for great weirdness.
Other pedestrians gave them a wide berth, a few of them recognizing and nodding or smiling at Keine. Reactions to Kotohime were more varied – some townspeople traded smiles with the princess, while others pointedly ignored her, or wrinkled their faces with distaste at the sight of her. Then a young man leading a group of his friends stopped to give Kotohime a formal bow, prostrating himself in the street before his sovereign. A surprised Kotohime blinked before beaming and bidding her loyal subject to rise. She didn't notice how the pack of men howled with laughter after they moved past.
While Kotohime seemed content to just go for a walk, Keine was wondering what this was all about. After giving her companion a chance to talk, Keine took a breath and asked "So-"
"Heard anything about a farmer named Hayoto?" the princess/police officer immediately interrupted.
The schoolteacher thought for a moment, deliberately shortening her stride so she'd have less distance to backtrack when she was finally able to get on with her errands. "Nothing about the man himself," she answered, "but his son Michi has been trying to sleep in class, and I had to send another note home with him this week. But other than that-"
"Their house was attacked," said Kotohime somberly. "There's nothing but a scorched crater in their yard, debris everywhere… Hayoto was nearly out of his mind with grief."
Keine stopped in her tracks, eyes wide from shock. "No," she breathed. "Are they alright?"
"Physically, they're fine," Kotohime responded with a slow shake of her head. "But the emotional scars… those may never heal."
"Who would do such a thing?"
"Who indeed?" the princess asked ominously. "It was obviously a magical attack, and the culprit remains at large. Someone with a firm grasp of fire magic."
Keine's silvery hair swirled around her as she glared at the other woman. "If you're insinuating that Mokou is to blame for this, you're wrong. She'd never…" Keine trailed off. When Fujiwara no Mokou and her nemesis Kaguya Houraisan were in the grips of a magical duel, collateral damage was a very real possibility. That forest fire, for example… but Keine doubted Mokou would ever blow up someone's house maliciously.
Probably.
Certainly not unless Kaguya was in it, anyway.
"Perhaps you have some information that could help with the investigation?" Kotohime suggested.
"Mokou wouldn't do such a thing," Keine repeated stubbornly. "And – when was this attack, anyway?"
"Yesterday, around sundown."
"Well, yesterday afternoon she was with me, helping clean up the school. Then we picked up dinner. She wasn't near Hayoto's place."
"And you have plenty of witnesses to verify this?" Kotohime asked.
"Yes, you can ask Mystia Loreli – she runs the grilled lamprey stand-"
"She's a good cook for a youkai," the princess commented.
"-or the students who left late, or-"
"And where is Miss Fujiwara now?"
Keine gave a slight smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. "I'd assume the bamboo forest. You'll have a hard time finding her, I imagine."
"Oh?" Kotohime looked a little disappointed. "She's not in Eientei, prowling after the nemesis she can't imagine life without, even while the hatred in her breast begins to blossom into a different kind of obsession?"
The schoolteacher gave her a look like Kotohime had sprouted a second head. "Not to my knowledge, no," Keine finally managed, sounding dazed.
Kotohime frowned. "Oh. Well, sounds like she's got a decent alibi, at least." She produced a notebook from somewhere and began scribbling into it with a pencil. "So that's one suspect off the list – has this student, Michi, been acting odd recently?" she asked, looking up at Keine again.
The schoolteacher gave her another uncertain look. "How do you mean?"
"Has he displayed hitherto unseen magical or psionic abilities such as psychokinesis or pyrokinesis?" At Keine's blank stare, she clarified "Has he been movin' stuff or settin' fires with his mind?"
"No!"
"Two suspects down; I'm on a roll," Kotohime chuckled to herself while consulting her notes. Then she looked up, again serious. "How about cats? Have you seen any cats acting strangely lately? This is very important."
"Stranger than usual, you mean?" asked Keine, quite confused. "The stray near my house attacked my hat the other night, but that was about it."
Kotohime nodded, though again, Keine thought she looked a little disappointed. "Thank you for your time, you've been most helpful in resolving this Incident." She snapped her notebook shut with a definitive little sound.
"Think nothing of it," Keine mumbled. She glanced hopefully in the direction of the Hakurei Shrine. "Ah, Reimu and Marisa haven't gotten involved yet, have they? This sounds like their sort of thing."
"Oh, it remains to be seen just what role they've played in this." Kotohime smiled, which filled Keine with a strange foreboding. "But I'm going to find out."
-x-
-2-
Marisa Kirisame grumbled to herself as she tried to bring some semblance of order to her work space, the extension of her cottage she proudly referred to as her laboratory. It resembled a disaster area, with piles of rubbish, half-finished or broken projects, and scattered belongings lying in heaps on the floor… and then last night her lab had exploded.
The witch brushed strands of golden hair out of her eyes, her brow wrinkled with uncharacteristic concern as she surveyed the damage and how little a dint she'd put in it. It was a good thing she'd been careful enough to put on that heavy leather apron and metal helmet, Marisa reflected, or else the accident could have done more than blow her off her feet. But it had all been going so well! She'd progressed past potions and magical paste into exciting new territory – what she called arcane plasma, a mystically-energized, high-energy gas that behaved like a liquid. It was just a teensie bit unstable at the moment, but that's what she'd been doing last night, experimenting with the proportions so there'd be less risk of blowing herself up.
But then she'd… well, blown herself up. Or to be more accurate, knocked herself flat on her ass and sent a flask of magical energies rocketing through the roof and subjecting the surrounding area to a light bombardment. Not to mention scorching her signature pointy hat on its way out.
At least no one (else) had been hurt, and the fires had been easy to put out. And while Lot #1 had decided to pay a surprise visit to the Hakurei Shrine, Lot #2 had miraculously survived the explosion unscathed and had yet to misbehave on her. Marisa plucked the vial of shimmering purple sorta-liquid from the splintered remains of her countertop and gently set it down on top of her personal forge. Once she got the place cleaned up she could start fiddling with the mixture again…
She snorted to herself. Maybe she ought to get started now while there was already a hole in the ceiling, so she wouldn't have to clean up twice if things went wrong. She sighed as she picked up a notebook, noticed that it was charred beyond recognition, and carelessly tossed it over her shoulder-
"Ow!"
The magician whirled around, barely suppressing her instinct to lash out with magic. "What the hell are…" she trailed off as she recognized who was sitting on the floor, rubbing a bump on her head. "I mean," Marisa said as she smoothly switched gears, plastering a winsome smile on her face and rising to curtsy, "good morning, your majesty."
"G'morning," Kotohime replied grumpily, getting to her feet and checking to see if she was bleeding. "Do I get to chuck a book at you now?"
"Sorry 'bout that, but I wasn't expecting visitors, your grace" said Marisa. "They usually knock first."
"Oh, I needed to practice breaking and entering, to better understand the criminal mind and therefore combat it," said Kotohime. "Though it looks like I'm not the only one," she added with a meaningful nod at the scorched hole in the lab's ceiling.
"Just a minor magical accident," the magician replied, while noting the irony in having her home burglarized. "No injuries, negligible property damage, and everything's all taken care of. But enough about me," she said, leaning back against a wall and folding her arms. "What brings you to my humble cottage, princess?"
"A consultation, actually," Kotohime said as she flopped down on a pile of laundry and crumpled notes like it was a beanbag chair. "I'm investigating who's behind a recent magical attack."
"An attack, huh?" Marisa repeated, absently flicking the braid trailing down the front of her left shoulder. "Gensokyo has youkai and fairies and deities and at least two other magicians. And one obnoxiously overpowered shrine maiden," she added with a sniff. "So you're gonna have to narrow it down a bit, y'know?"
Kotohime folded her hands behind her head, annoying Marisa with how comfortable the uninvited princess was making herself. "What kind of magic would you need to blow up a building?"
"Why, you got something planned?" Marisa asked with a smirk, but she was starting to get interested in spite of herself. "What kind of building?" she asked. "How sturdy a structure we talking about – brick, wood, what?"
"Simple wood, not reinforced at all."
"Not much then," the magician said. "I mean, something like the mishap I had yesterday could do that."
Kotohime nodded to herself, then reached into a drooping sleeve and produced a slim notepad she flipped open, her pencil up and waiting. "So you're saying any hedge wizard or even a weak youkai could-"
"Hey, don't be underestimating me, your highness" the witch retorted. "When Marisa Kirisame has a magical accident, it's not gonna be some two-bit firework. I get the big explosions, whether I want them or not!" Her pride satisfied, Marisa settled down and went back to conjecturing. "And there's more to it than that, anyway. Like how complete a demolition are you wanting? Even a fairy could tear down a shack if you gave it enough time, while ol' Yuuka could Spark it down in half a second."
"I was thinking along the lines of a scorch mark with just a bit of debris and ash," Kotohime clarified. "As for the time frame: nigh-instantaneous. So, who do you think could pull something like that off?"
Marisa scratched her chin and stared up at her scorched and holey ceiling, her golden eyes thoughtful. "Well, like I said, Yuuka. Patchy – uh, Patchouli Knowledge, up at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. The Scarlets. That Tenshi brat. That hell-raven – you might want to check the radiation level," she joked, but Kotohime just nodded and made a note. "Alice. Reimu. Me, I guess-"
"But you've been staying at home, having some mishaps," Kotohime interrupted. "Unless, of course, you trashed your house just to give yourself an alibi."
"I assure you, I take pride in keeping my home as clean and neat as possible," Marisa answered, inwardly grinning as she imagined a certain yama screaming in frustration. "And on that note, I should probably be getting back to my housework, my liege."
"Then I'll leave you to it," Kotohime said as she flipped her notebook shut with a decisive little slam and eased herself upright. "Thank you for your time, you've been most helpful."
"I live to serve, most exalted one," said Marisa as she bowed. "I trust that my advice won't be used for anything sinister?" she asked while leading her guest through the debris fields and heaps of miscellaneous stuff between the lab and the front door.
Kotohime laughed. "Oh of course not. I'm doing detective work, not going on a rampage."
"In my experience, the two can be remarkably similar," Marisa noted. "So is this going to end with Reimu in jail again?"
"It's too early in the investigation to say with any certainty," Kotohime replied. "But my gut says yes."
"You should follow your gut then," Marisa said, trying unsuccessfully to hide her smirk. "Be sure to question Reimu right away. Criminal types like her need a close eye on them."
"Oh, rest assured, I will be visiting the Hakurei shrine maiden without delay," answered Kotohime. "As Gensokyo's self-appointed supernatural authority, it is her lapse in vigilance that has allowed this catastrophe to happen. And as Gensokyo's civil authority, it is my duty to demand answers why."
When Marisa shut the door behind her uninvited guest after one last round of formalities, she had to take a moment to slump against it and cackle, regretting the chores that kept her from flying off to watch the chaos of another Kotohime "investigation." She returned to her wrecked lab with a light heart, went to pick up the second batch of her elixir-
And saw the empty spot on the top of her forge.
"Fffffff-"
-x-
-3-
Kotohime swirled the vial she'd sto- confiscated from Marisa's house, admiring how the motion made little golden sparks arc within the murky purple substance, as though she were holding a bottled thunderstorm. It had such a pleasing glow to it that she couldn't not swipe it. Not that she'd use it for nefarious purposes! No, this was the ideal nightlight. And anyway, if she'd left it behind, Marisa would have just used it to cause trouble. The witch had been rambling on about some magical accident, right? Kotohime hadn't been paying much attention, since it was irrelevant to her case.
Oh yeah, the case! Kotohime flipped open her notebook and scribbled in it as she continued along the rough dirt path leading out of the forest to the human village. So not Mokou, not Marisa… could she just scratch off all the suspects whose names started with M? Who else would that be? That tengu wolf guard – how exactly did that work, anyway, being a bird person and a wolf person? Medicine Melancholy, of course, especially since she threw poisons instead of fire. The captain – fancy a drowned ghost using fire magic, eh? Mystia the night sparrow turned cook…
Kotohime's stomach gurgled at the memory of countless tasty dinners. She stopped and looked to the eastern mountains, where the Hakurei Shrine was tucked away on Gensokyo's border, but instead she remained on the path leading to the village, or more specifically towards a tavern she frequented for lunch. She'd get to Reimu eventually, but first she had to follow her gut.
-x-
-4-
The birds were chirping, a gentle breeze was sighing through the trees, and the sun was shining down to take the edge off the early spring coolness. It was looking to be another glorious afternoon in Gensokyo. But rather than relaxing and enjoying it, Reimu Hakurei was kneeling in the courtyard in front of the shrine she was inextricably bound to, trying to scrub a scorch mark off the flagstones. Much like she seemed stuck cleaning up after troublemakers and irresponsible maniacs who passed themselves off as magicians and-
A shadow fell over the star-shaped patch of charred rock Reimu was working furiously to clean, and the shrine maiden just stopped, fuming. "I could work much better if you weren't blocking the light!" she said by way of greeting, without so much as glancing up at her visitor.
"Why are so few people ever pleased to see me?" mused a woman's voice. "It's probably due to my status as a police officer-"
Reimu groaned and wearily pushed herself to her feet, glaring at the overdressed woman standing next to her.
"-which isolates me from society even as I strive to protect it. It's a terrible burden, but one I bear proudly to better protect my subjects," Kotohime concluded, a finger against her chin as she struck an introspective pose.
"You're not a police officer. And you're not a princess!" Reimu insisted. "And if you try to throw me in jail again I'll throw everything I've got-"
"Do you have any tea?" interrupted Kotohime.
Reimu glowered at the older woman, her dark red eyes flashing beneath brown bangs. "Why would I give you tea?"
"It's just that I've spent the last half hour hiking up the path to get here, on a full stomach, so I'm quite thirsty."
"Can't you fly?" asked Reimu with a roll of her eyes. Being reminded of food after skipping lunch was doing nothing to improve her mood. "And I don't have any tea, because I didn't make any, because I've spent all morning trying to clean up Marisa's stupid mess," she added, flapping a hand at the scorched stones. She dropped back to her knees, reached for the washrag in her bucket, accidentally dunked her detached white sleeve in the soapy water, and growled in exasperation. "And I won't get finished anytime soon if I have you around to pester me, so go away!" she ordered.
After half a minute of working in silence, Reimu finally lifted her gaze to find herself alone again. She stopped and looked around the courtyard, but there was no sign of Kotohime. Suppressing a twinge of guilt for her cold welcome, she bent over and got back to scrubbing.
A few minutes later, she stopped to glare at the stain that was still refusing to come out. Maybe if-
"To answer your question, I prefer to fly only during long trips."
Reimu nearly jumped out of her skin. "What did-" she began, but then she saw that Kotohime was stepping out of the Hakurei Shrine's front door, carrying a tray laden with porcelain cups and a teapot.
"Although it's conventional for a princess to do as little work as possible," Kotohime continued, "I find the exercise invigorating. After all, not many of us have the special power to dodge calories from sweets," she added with a sleepy smile. "Shall we go indoors, or sit on the porch, in the shade?"
-x-
-5-
"Are you sure you used my blend to make this?" asked Reimu, looking down at her half-finished cup and resolving to drink more slowly. She hadn't realized she'd been so thirsty.
"Yep," replied Kotohime.
"It tastes kind of fruity though."
"Oh, well," the princess said, kicking her legs slightly as they dangled over the edge of the porch. "I like to add a little chunk of cherry to my tea, for a bit of sweetness that's healthier than dumping in sugar."
Reimu gaze the liquid a suspicious look. "But I'm out of cherries."
"Luckily I keep a fresh supply on my person at all times," Kotohime explained, "along with a selection of other snacks." She reached into her sleeve and withdrew a paper bag, then fished something out of it. "Cookie?" she offered.
"Yes please," said Reimu politely, before biting into it with hungry enthusiasm. The snack was a pleasant surprise, not stale like she had been expecting, and tasted of lemon. "These are good."
"Why thank you. Homemade, you know. A vital part of the all-purpose food kit I keep on my person in case I am ever teleported against my will into a hostile land." Kotohime noticed the shrine maiden's gaze lingering on the bag, and wordlessly handed it over.
"Do you actually expect that to happen?" asked Reimu between bites.
"While we have yet to meet in person – though I do believe we have done battle on the astral plane on at least seven occasions – I am well aware that the Youkai of Boundaries could send me into the middle of the Gobi Desert with but a thought," Kotohime explained.
Reimu tried to pace herself now that she was on the last cookie. "But if that happens you'll be fine, since you carry food and water on you."
"Nah, just food."
The shrine maiden blinked. "Isn't water more important, though?"
"Oh, Earth is like seventy percent water," said Kotohime with a careless wave of her hand.
Reimu decided not to state the obvious. "You know, Marisa was here about an hour ago, looking for you," she said instead. "She sounded pretty mad. Something about you stealing something from her?"
"A policewoman does not go around stealing items," Kotohime replied coldly.
Reimu shrugged. "Whatever. I told her you weren't around, and she yelled a bit and flew off again."
"She always was a bit unstable," mused the princess. "I think it's all the magical experimenting she does. All those mushrooms. If she ever becomes a full youkai, I bet she'll start feeding on humans, and then I'll have to put her down."
"No, you won't," Reimu corrected firmly. "If Marisa ever acts out I'm the one who deals with her, understand?"
Kotohime glanced sideways, saw the shrine maiden's narrowed eyes and the determined set to her jaw, then shrugged carelessly. "I suppose that is your prerogative."
There was a chilly silence for a moment, defused when Reimu upended the cookie bag to catch the last crumbs in her mouth. "Those were really good," she declared while brushing the ones she'd missed off her red and white dress. "So what's the occasion for this visit? You come by, sneak into my home, make tea…"
"Something about magic," Kotohime murmured, tapping her temple while she concentrated. "Ah, that's right! There was a magical attack on a farmer's home. I was wondering what you'd heard about it."
"News to me," Reimu shrugged.
"Oh? I was hoping you might have some ideas of who's responsible, to aid the authorities in their pursuit of justice."
"What, you don't have any leads of your own?"
The policewoman's eyes narrowed. "Of course I do, and I thought you'd be eager to help and make up for the lapse of vigilance that allowed the attack to happen."
"Since when was I in charge of guarding farmers' houses?" Reimu retorted. "Nobody's shown up to hire me, so it's not my problem. And didn't you have a lapse of vigilance too, then?"
Kotohime scowled at her for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, there's no use arguing over who has jurisdiction here," she said, dismissing the spat like it had never happened. "Anyway: any unusual youkai behavior that you know of?"
"As far as I know all the youkai have been well-behaved," Reimu replied with a shrug of her own. "Or at least as well-behaved as they usually are. The only commotion I've heard about was when Marisa's house exploded and rained fireballs on my front yard. And some other people's property, I guess."
"No, I'm not worried about that," Kotohime replied. She leaned forward, resting her chin in her hand as she gazed at the surrounding mountains. "This was a brazen, malicious attack, and Miss Kirisame assured me that only the most powerful of youkai or magicians could have been responsible for it. I'm not sure why they'd pick on a humble farmer, unless this is an attempt to lure me into a trap. But I'm less concerned with motive than who's responsible."
"I think you're being insane again," Reimu said flatly. "I know Incidents, and this doesn't feel like an Incident."
"Perhaps a woman does have to be insane to seek justice in a world where inhuman entities wield powers beyond mortal comprehension, leaving simple folk cowering helplessly in their homes, waiting for death," mused Kotohime.
"Did you just call me inhuman?"
"Inhuman entities and Reimu, then."
"That's better."
The princess drummed her fingers on her knee. "So Gensokyo's premier Incident-resolver has heard nothing of this latest attack, and has no sense that there's even an Incident going on at all," she summarized.
"Right," Reimu agreed, "which means-"
"That whoever is behind this is able to act undetected by your legendary intuition," Kotohime concluded.
The shrine maiden blinked. "Noooooo," she said slowly, "it means that you're overreacting and getting all worked up over nothing."
Kotohime's eyes narrowed. "Not nothing. His name was Hayoto. And I will see justice for him and his family."
"It doesn't really matter what I say, does it?" Reimu asked herself. "Like you're in your own little world and you only hear what you want to."
"No, Reimu, I appreciate the offer," Kotohime answered, "but this is something I've got to take care of myself. It's a direct challenge to my authority." She sighed and gave the younger woman an uncharacteristically grim look. "And if I perish in this upcoming battle, it will fall upon you to lead Gensokyo in my stead," she said while placing a hand on Reimu's head, next to the shrine maiden's trademark red bow. "You're the closest thing I have to a daughter-"
"You put me in a cell," Reimu ground out.
"All parents must discipline wayward children at times," Kotohime said somberly. "I'm sure you'll make a fine queen someday."
Reimu shrugged off her hand. "It's not really worth mentioning, since as I said you're not a princess, but two months ago you 'officially' adopted the Scarlet Devil Mansion's gatekeeper as your heir because you had the same hair color."
Kotohime blinked in surprise. "I did?" Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "No, I don't think so. I'm sure I'd remember doing something that important. And there would have been a grand celebration."
"I think there was a lot of beer involved," Reimu supplied. "Suika may have been there, too. And on that note, how many drinks did you have during lunch?"
"Bah, I've spent too much time talking about what I should be doing instead of going out and doing it," Kotohime declared as she pushed herself to her feet. "This villain won't catch herself." She froze, looking thoughtful. "Though that'd certainly be convenient: a self-apprehending criminal. I'll have to work on that once this case is closed."
"I'm not going to ask where you're going, because I don't really care."
"Thank you for the tea," Kotohime said while bowing.
Reimu nodded back. "Thanks for the cookies. You should go home and make some more instead of-"
"Can I have those?" asked Kotohime.
"What?"
"Those," the princess repeated, gesturing at the sodden tea bags in the empty cups on the tray beside her.
Reimu gave her a cock-eyed stare. "Why?"
"I have a magical experiment I want to run," Kotohime explained, reverently taking the soggy items and placing them in a bottle she extracted from her sleeve. "I'm investigating to see whether inanimate objects have sympathetic magical properties."
Reimu waited.
"It works similarly to how you curse a person in effigy – make the focus, a simulacrum of the target, and get something like a bit of hair to form the connection. Well, I'm wondering if I could use tea leaves to affect the tea plant," Kotohime explained.
"But why would you-"
"Or possibly form a connection with the person who drank the tea," the princess continued.
Reimu stared. "You really are an odd person."
"Only if my ideas don't go anywhere," Kotohime retorted with a challenging grin. "This may revolutionize forensic science by allowing us to track down criminals with a bit of dirt they left at the crime scene."
"Oh really? Do you have some suspicious dirt?"
"No, I…" Kotohime trailed off. "I forgot to take any samples," she breathed, wide-eyed. "I didn't even dust for fingerprints. The enemy has the power to affect my mind and muddle my thoughts!" she declared, trembling.
Reimu abruptly stood up, picked up the tray, and went back indoors towards her kitchen. "I'm serious!" she called as she left. "Go bake some more of those cookies. It'll work out better for everyone involved!"
Kotohime was already a red-purple dot vanishing into the sky.
-x-
-6-
The princess rocketed through the air, her hair and robes streaming behind her. Kotohime was at a loss of where to go next for the simple reason that the enemy was inside her head, undermining her every move. She tried to empty her mind and thwart the psychic attacker, but the same old image of an ice fairy playing the bagpipes wouldn't leave her thoughts.
She had two options – seek out the source of the psionic invasion and stop it, or develop a defensive measure. The first one was out since the enemy knew she what she was thinking and would therefore be forewarned, and as for defense, the old empty mind trick wasn't working. She needed aluminum foil or something to block the psychic radiation, but the only ones who'd have any would be the kappa and-
Kotohime suddenly noticed she was flying towards the Misty Lake, and realized that her subconscious might be providing her with an easy answer…
-x-
-7-
Not far from the lake's shore was a fairy grotto, a shady glen where the leaves formed a green ceiling over a shallow pool of sparkling clear water. And while there were many shady pools across Gensokyo, this was one of the few places unknown to humans and youkai alike, an isolated patch of undisturbed wilderness. For creatures born of nature, it was almost a holy place, a sanctuary. Fairies had a reputation for being found where there was excitement and loud noises, but that was because when they were in a more restful mood, they went to places where they couldn't be found at all.
There was a crowd of fairies in the clearing, a menagerie of tiny, winged forms, most of them no larger than a toddler, a few of the youngest with heights measuring in mere inches. Normally such an assembly would be buzzing with activity, but the only motions were slight movements of the fairies' insectoid wings. They were seated on tree branches or fallen logs or stones, spellbound, listening to the greatest of their kind.
There were as many types of fairy as there were aspects of nature, but only one Daiyousei, the Great Fairy. She was seated on a mossy log in the grotto's center, her bare feet dangling beneath her sky blue dress to idly swirl through the pond's surface, a hefty book spread in her lap. She brushed her teal ponytail back into position at the side of her face, then held up the tome to show her audience the picture.
"After the demon queen destroyed her home, both she and the miko realized that they had gone too far," she explained in a clear, gentle voice. "Innocents had suffered from their battle, and their conflict had risked the very existence of Gensokyo itself." She paused. "Can anyone tell me why?"
A slender little golden-haired sylph, a comparative newborn still getting used to wearing clothes, raised her hand.
"Yes, Kohaku?"
The young fairy's face screwed up with concentration as she tried to think, something that did not come naturally to her kind. "Because the armpit miko is… uh… something about walls?"
"Very good!" praised Daiyousei with a beaming smile. "Yes, the Hakurei shrine maiden is responsible for maintaining the Great Boundary that separates Gensokyo from the outside world. If she were to die, that Boundary would be destroyed, and our home along with it."
A chorus of gasps and frightened murmurs rose from the fey assemblage.
"That's why everyone agreed to a plan to keep that from happening and prevent conflicts from hurting anyone," Daiyousei reassured them. "The shrine maiden came up with some rules where we could fight with danmaku to resolve disagreements, rather than with more dangerous weapons. This way nobody gets hurt, including the shrine maiden. And this also means that anyone in Gensokyo – even fairies like us – has a chance at beating her."
The rest of the fairies chattered excitedly at that prospect.
Daiyousei smiled at her charges, somewhere between siblings and children. "And that's why you should practice your danmaku as much as you can, so if you get in a fight, you can resolve it the way you're supposed to – and win."
But some of the fairies on the edges of the grotto weren't paying attention, and were craning their necks at the sounds coming from above.
"…Mieszko Tanglefoot, Leszek the White, Wladyslaw Spindleshanks, Konrad of… oh bugger, where was it?"
Daiyousei snapped her book shut, vanishing it into some extradimensional space. She made a quick gesture and the grotto exploded into motion, a cloud of fairies streaking every which way as they noiselessly scattered and hid. The great fairy frowned before propelling herself upwards with her golden-edged gossamer wings, nimbly weaving between branches to burst out the top of the forest canopy, where she found a woman in red and purple hovering nearby.
"Oh," said Daiyousei. "Hello, princess."
"Wladyslaw the Exile – good afternoon, Great One," replied Kotohime with an airborne curtsy. "Boleslaw the Curly. Have you seen Cirno lately?"
Daiyousei blinked, feeling like she was only getting half of a conversation. "Uh, why?"
"Mieszko the Old. I need her special skills. Kazimierz the Just."
"Unless she's off playing somewhere else, she's probably at her usual spot by the lake," the fairy replied. She was reluctant to ask, but… "Um, what are you saying?"
"Oh, I'm just under mental attack," the princess replied breezily.
"I see…" Daiyousei lied. "And this is something Cirno can help you with?"
"There are few in all Gensokyo better suited to deal with this danger," Kotohime assured her.
"Is she going to get in trouble?" Daiyousei pressed, folding her arms.
Kotohime opened her mouth, caught herself, and looked thoughtful for a moment. "No more than usual," she said in the end, before nodding at her friend and changing course towards the Misty Lake. "Boleslaw the Chaste, Leszek the Black, Henryk Probus…"
-x-
-8-
The strongest fairy in Gensokyo hummed a cheerful tune to herself as she played on the lakeshore. She lost track of the melody and had to start over a few times, and it could really have only been called a "tune" in a charitable sense, but she kept at it with limitless enthusiasm, the same way she treated every task she undertook.
An observer, at first glance, would have seen nothing more than a little girl wearing a deep blue dress with white triangles along the edges and a big blue bow on her head. But most little girls didn't have sky blue hair, or "wings" of frost hovering in the air just behind their shoulder blades. And while many children enjoyed building sand castles, few had the power to freeze handfuls of water and try to build ice palaces on the beach with them.
The architecture was strictly amateur, and the frozen castle was already melting in the spring sunlight, but the ice fairy was enjoying herself regardless. And then-
"Cirno! Just the lady I was looking for!"
The apparent little girl, who was in truth at least sixty, glanced up at Kotohime. "I'm not a lady, I'm a fairy!" she corrected the princess, before going back to work.
"You're many things, Cirno," Kotohime said with a sunny smile. "Which is why I hope you can help me."
"Mmmhmm?" The fairy's tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated on placing a slippery chunk of ice to make a turret for her castle. "Doin' what?"
"Saving Gensokyo," the princess replied. She maneuvered around to hover just above the water's surface on the other side of the ice castle from Cirno, her arms folded and her expression suddenly serious. "I'm trying to solve an Incident, and if that wasn't enough something is trying to attack my mind."
Cirno's brow furrowed with the effort of recollection. "Like one of those eyeball ladies from the underground?"
"It's a possibility," Kotohime agreed. "Or maybe it's something worse. All I know is that without you nearby to help shield me, they'll be able to predict my every move, and be unbeatable."
The ice fairy glowered. "Are you calling me an idiot?" she demanded. "'cause sometimes people tease me and say if the eyeball ladies tried to look at my mind they wouldn't see anything." Her face turned red. "I'm tired of people sayin' stuff like that! I'm not an idiot! They're the stupid ones!"
Kotohime's mouth hung open in shock for a moment. "No, that's – of course I don't think you're stupid, Cirno!" While the little fairy sniffled angrily, Kotohime landed and sank to her knees, gently putting her hands on Cirno's shoulders. "That's not why I think you can help me," she explained. "See, Cirno, you're special for a lot of reasons. You never give up, even when facing someone like Reimu or Marisa. You have boundless confidence and determination. And your sense of identity is unshakable. That's what I'm after. When my attacker is trying to worm her way into my mind, I want her to slam against the impenetrable wall of your Cirno-ness."
Cirno didn't say anything, still looking down at the sand unhappily.
"In fact," Kotohime went on, reaching into a sleeve, "here."
The ice fairy reluctantly looked at what she was being offered. "What's that?"
"It's a badge," said Kotohime. "I'd like to make you my official deputy."
"Looks kinda familiar… what's it say?" Cirno asked as she peered at the design on the golden, star-shaped emblem.
"Can you read Chinese?"
"No."
"Then it says 'Deputy,'" Kotohime told her. "So, I've already said why I need you. Will you help me?"
Cirno looked thoughtful. "You forgot one thing," she informed the princess.
"Oh?"
Cirno beamed. "I'm the strongest!" She took the badge and pinned it to the front of her dress.
"'atta girl!" Kotohime tousled the fairy's hair, then scooped Cirno up with a squawk and placed the fairy on her shoulders. "Ahhh…" the princess sighed in relief. "Much better. Already I feel like my thoughts are my own again. That monster won't know what hit her! And now I'm refreshingly cool, too! An added bonus."
"Sometimes when it's summer I follow people around if they give me snacks," Cirno said happily as she got settled. "So who we gonna beat up?"
"Don't know yet," Kotohime admitted as she launched the two of them off the ground, Cirno seated on her shoulders in some strange variation of a piggyback ride. "You're right, it could be satori, but they're supposed to be all the way underground, so it might be someone new. So I'm thinking of doing what Reimu does."
Cirno grinned. "Go 'round attacking people until you find the one that did it?"
"And people call you stupid..."
-x-
-9-
"Heads up! Hostiles coming in at ten and two high, evading!"
"Wooooo!"
Cirno gripped the top of Kotohime's head to stay seated as the princess rolled and tumbled through the shower of danmaku. Then Kotohime pulled up sharply, rotating so that her passenger was closest to the enemy. "Hit 'em with an ice burst, Cirno!" she ordered.
"Yah!" the fairy shouted as she threw her hands up, unleashing a flurry of ice crystals from her outstretched arms. The nearest three or four foes flew right into the barrage and promptly fell out of the sky.
"Great shot!" Kotohime congratulated. She wasn't doing any shooting herself, just supporting Cirno on her shoulders like a gunner while the princess dodged and wove through the swarm of fairies that had materialized out of nowhere to impede their progress. Neither of them had wondered at that fact – if there was an Incident or something going on, clouds of obnoxious fairies just kind of happened, and you either blasted your way through them or stayed home.
The princess spotted shapes on the horizon. "Another wave coming up, stay frosty!"
It was a bad pun, but Cirno still grinned at it. This was fun! As danmaku went it was pretty unimpressive, really, but splitting up the flying and the shooting between two people was novel enough to be interesting. Cirno could easily fly and fight on her own, but having to adjust her aim to Kotohime's course changes and evasive moves was an entertaining challenge.
"Looks like five fairies in line formation," Kotohime warned, her kimono fluttering in the wind, her arms tight against her side, her hair streaming back around Cirno's legs as she flew. "Attack pattern delta, go now!"
"Uh… okay!" Cirno replied. She didn't know what the princess was expecting from her, so she just threw more ice crystals at the approaching fairies, which was pretty much the only attack she'd been using for the past few minutes. The lesser winged humanoids barely had time to loose some slow, easily-dodged spheres of light before they were hit by the freezing projectiles and tumbled into the forest canopy.
"Perfect, Cirno!" Kotohime praised.
"These fairies need more practice," said Cirno with a smug grin. "They aren't even a challenge for someone like me."
Kotohime twisted her head to look back at her passenger. "It doesn't bother you to be fighting your own kind?"
The ice fairy gave her an amused smirk. "'s not like you don't fight other humans, is it?"
"Ah, touché." The princess looked forward again just in time to see the wall of beautifully-colored magical bullets.
Both fairy and police officer yelped as Kotohime twisted on her side and somehow found a gap in the sheet of projectiles. But the next volley was close behind, a tight spiral aimed right at them-
Cirno shouted and flung her arms straight out from her sides. The incoming danmaku flashed a wintry silver before abruptly dropping towards the ground.
"Since when could you freeze danmaku?" Kotohime asked as she took advantage of the opening and nimbly slipped under the next barrage.
"You shoulda seen me during the Great Fairy War!" boasted her deputy. Then she spotted something and gestured ahead. "This the guy that's attacking you?" Cirno asked. Their enemy was finally visible, a fairy of slightly larger size than the ones they'd dispatched already, flying backwards and keeping pace with them while unleashing another pattern of danmaku.
"I dunno," replied Kotohime with surprising calm for the amount of heat they were taking. "She doesn't look all that dangerous. You can hardly imagine her bossing around minions."
"Maybe she's a small boss?" Cirno suggested. She froze another pattern of projectiles as casually as if she were shooing a fly.
Kotohime nodded. "Yeah, some sort of mini-boss. Let's get her out of the way." She tensed briefly before shooting forward.
The attacking fairy's eyes widened when it looked like the princess was trying out an airborne headbutt, but at the last minute Kotohime pulled up, inverted-
Cirno grinned and gave the other fairy's forehead the lightest of taps. There was a crunching sound, and then the now-frozen fairy took on the flight characteristics of a tortoise.
"Now you're just showing off!" laughed Kotohime. Cirno said nothing, but was emitting an almost palpable aura of smug satisfaction in much the same way she radiated cold.
They flew on in silence for a few seconds, peering about expectantly, but nothing else attacked them. "This isn't right," Kotohime declared as the seemingly-endless forest canopy continued to scroll below them. "Normally once you go through all the small fry you meet someone who had something to do with the Incident."
"Or someone who was playing in the lake," supplied Cirno grumpily.
"Hmm." Kotohime slowed them to a halt and hovered in place. "I'm still not seeing anybody."
"Maybe they can go unvisible," the fairy riding on her shoulders suggested.
Kotohime winced. "Aw, I don't wanna fight the kappa. She has missiles." Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw it, a flash of color amongst the leaves and buds of the woodland. "A-hah! As I suspected all along – our cunning foe is content to hide, sacrificing waves of minions to slow us down so she can escape!"
Cirno squinted at what the princess was pointing at. "Who's that?"
"A suspect."
"Doesn't look like she's going anywhere..."
Kotohime's eyes lit up. "Just as I thought – she's holding her ground, waiting for us to engage her in honorable combat." She grinned. "Well, let's not disappoint her."
Cirno whooped as Kotohime launched them forward, rocketing down at a steep angle like a hawk diving at its prey.
"Alright, let's hit her with everything we've got!" Kotohime said excitedly. She clenched her fists and readied some magical attacks of her own, summoning fist-sized spheres of orange energy that orbited her waist even while complementing her hair and kimono. "Swift, overwhelming force. I don't like drawn-out battles."
Cirno ducked down low to reduce drag, folding her icy wings straight back behind her, a wide grin on her face. This was gonna be awesome-
-x-
-10-
"-is wrong with you people? Who do you think you are, going around starting fights like that, that bully of a shrine maiden?"
"Well-"
"Don't answer that, Cirno!"
Kotohime pushed herself off the ground and onto her feet with a grunt. "I think there's been a misunderstanding," she suggested as she tried to brush the dirt and leaves off her clothes.
Tokiko froze in the act of picking up one of her books. "No, I don't think so," the crested ibis youkai said icily, her red eyes glaring at them from beneath her disheveled hair, marked by alternating patterns of gray and pale purple. "I was sitting here in my reading place, minding my own business, when suddenly someone yelled 'Get her!' and I was barraged with fireballs-"
"And ice!" supplied Cirno from overhead. Her face was turning red from being stuck upside-down in a tangle of branches, but she seemed in good cheer.
"Yes, I noticed," snapped Tokiko. Her wings fluttered and shivered as she tried to knock the last patches of frost from her scarlet and purple feathers.
"You're strong!" the ice fairy went on.
"Because c-crap like this keeps happening to me!" Tokiko stammered back, flushing. "I'm not going to be pushed around anymore, you hear? I've been training," she said defiantly.
"Sometimes when I hang out by the mansion, Meiling lets me train with her," commented Cirno, still wrong side up. "She's taught me some nèijìng . She says I'm getting good at it!" she beamed.
The bird girl stared at Cirno. "I guess that explains that… kick, or whatever you were doing. But," she continued, turning on Kotohime, "what do you have to say for yourself?"
"As I said, this was a misunderstanding," the policewoman said, calmly gathering her hair back into a ponytail. "I have been under psychic attack, and found an isolated youkai studying forbidden grimoires to be suspicious."
"Forbidden...? These are just books!" Tokiko insisted.
"Oh? What kind of books?"
"I wanna see!" added Cirno, wiggling as she struggled to get free.
The ibis youkai blushed, again. "None of your business!"
Kotohime arched an eyebrow. "It's awfully hard to prove your innocence if you won't supply us with evidence," she commented.
"I shouldn't have to 'prove' my innocence at all!" Tokiko stuffed her books into a backpack and struggled into it, carefully situating the burden between her wings. "Humans!" she spat. "Think all youkai are monsters 'cause they supposedly go around attacking people. So what do you do about it? Go around randomly attacking them!"
"It's the cycle of senseless violence that keeps life in Gensokyo interesting," Kotohime agreed with a sage nod. "Sorry to trouble you, ma'am, you can go about your business."
"No, I can't, because now my reading spot is ruined and I'm too angry to… grrr!" Tokiko screwed up her face, near tears, and leapt into the sky, her dark dress fluttering. "I just wanted to reeeeeeeaaaaaad!"
Kotohime watched her go, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Interesting. She didn't respond to my mental probes, and I didn't detect any kind of psychic activity whatsoever. I guess she wasn't involved after all." She shrugged. "Oh well."
There was a crack of timber and a yelp, and Cirno thudded face-first onto the ground next to her.
"I'm okay!" the fairy insisted. She heaved herself up off the grass and onto her feet, then started to stagger around dizzily, her wings of ice shards flapping in an attempt to keep her balanced. Once the world stopped spinning and Cirno checked to make sure her shiny new badge was still in place, she looked over at her companion. "What'cha doin'?"
"Found a rock," Kotohime replied, straightening up from her crouch, a pebble in her hand.
"Oh." Cirno cocked her head, peering at the object. "Is it an interesting rock?"
"Of course it is. I wouldn't have picked it up if it hadn't been important," the princess explained, bouncing the stone in her hand lightly, a thoughtful look on her face, before she stowed it in her sleeve. "Are you listening, Cirno?"
"Huh?"
"I need you to act completely casual, like we're having a normal conversation, okay?"
The ice fairy technically always had a chill, so she didn't feel one run down her spine. Instead she felt a worrisome itch between her shoulder blades. "Wha? W-what's going on?" It suddenly occurred to her that the forest clearing they were in had gone unnaturally quiet. Even the breeze seemed to have died.
"Don't look, but there's something lurking in the woods behind you – don't look." Kotohime was smiling as she talked, but her red eyes were hard, alert. "It's been watching us for the past few minutes," she said nonchalantly, even as she subtly shifted into a battle stance.
Cirno was starting to sweat with the effort of not spinning around to confront the new threat. "W-what is it?"
"Dunno. Something black and shadowy, something I haven't seen before, some unknown, unknowable horror from the dark heart of the primeval forest, a thing that stalked my ancestors and taught them to fear the night."
Her fairy companion went pale for a few moments, but then her jaw set with determination and she clenched her tiny fists. "So let's blast it!"
"Damn straight. This ain't a danmaku match anymore, so on the count of three, give it your best shot, alright? No holding back. Our lives, and the lives of everyone in Gensokyo, could depend on this battle," warned Kotohime. "Ready? One… two…"
Cirno was too hyped-up to wait for the countdown and spun around, screaming a battlecry. Immediately she lost her balance and fell over, unleashing a cone of ice shards that shredded the leaves and branches overhead. As snow and chunks of foliage rained down on them, a patch of darkness on the other side of the clearing coiled and leapt.
Kotohime saw... well, even when it moved into the now-fading daylight, she couldn't be sure what the thing was. There was something serpentine to it, though it didn't seem restricted to such a simple design. There was an impression of sleek, lethal speed, but also of wickedly-sharp scything talons as long as Cirno was tall. Barbed shapes could have been tails, or they could have been tongues. There was a suggestion of teeth despite a lack of head. But mostly it was dark and utterly alien, a thing that's fundamental quality was that Kotohime's mind had no way of identifying it.
And whatever it was, it was surging right at them.
"Cirno, ice wall!" snapped Kotohime imperiously. Something in the princess' tone made the little fairy respond instinctively and immediately, and with the crunch of condensing air a waist-high barrier of smoking ice manifested between them and the monster. The shadow beast veered away instead of crashing into the obstruction, but began to circle around it with unnatural speed.
"On your feet, officer!" Kotohime commanded as she grabbed the back of Cirno's dress and hauled her upright. "Use an ice lance to keep it back!"
Cirno did her one better and conjured up a quartet of javelin-sized splinters of frost in the air above her, then with a shout she shot them one after the other in a quick barrage. The beast shrank back as the icy spears stabbed deep into the dirt, suddenly seeming unsure of itself.
Kotohime flung an arm at their enemy. "Quick, fire an ice beam!"
Her companion took a deep breath, cupped her hands, then flung them out in front of her, any warcry drowned out by the column of pure elemental cold that roared like a glacial gale. The crisp scent of winter filled the air as the temperature in the clearing plummeted and ice coated the grass. Cirno sustained the beam, teeth clenched, her hair and dress streaming in the freezing wind, her icy wings spread wide and bowed forward as if helping focus the onslaught. The shadow monster sped across the ground like an ambulatory oil slick, barely keeping ahead of Cirno's attack-
Which meant that, for a few precious seconds, the beast was on an easily predicted course.
Kotohime lobbed something, a round metal object the size of an orange. "Fire in the hole!" she warned.
Cirno's ice beam cut off as she turned to give the princess a confused look. Even the shadow monster stopped in puzzlement at the sight of the rough black sphere-
The object landed right in the mass of inky shadows, where it exploded with a bang! and a blinding flash of light.
When her vision cleared, all Kotohime could see of their opponent was a cloud of greasy, reeking smoke – though that may have been the gunpowder.
"What'd you do?" Cirno demanded between coughs.
"Threw a bomb," the princess replied simply, trying to brush the ice off her robes where one of Cirno's wings had brushed against her.
The ice fairy gaped in astonishment. "But we weren't fighting with danmaku, and I didn't see you use a spell card-"
"No, I mean a bomb bomb," Kotohime clarified. "A princess has to keep busy, so I took up a little applied chemistry." She strolled over to inspect the shallow crater. There was no physical sign of the monster's presence, but that was only to be expected – a creature of shadow would be vaporized by a blast of light like that. "Anyway, I just finished it off," she continued. "You're the one who did most of the work."
The pint-sized frost factory put her hands on her hips and struck a heroic pose. "Of course! I'm the strongest, after all!"
Kotohime chuckled and ruffled her partner's hair affectionately. "I think we work well together."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. With my tactical genius and your unparalleled strength, we're pretty much unstoppable." She scratched her jaw thoughtfully. "Y'know, this could be a new sport. Humans go out, capt- find a fairy partner, train them, and then have them engage in nonlethal duels with other fairy-human teams for everyone's vicious amusement."
"Wouldn't be fair," the ice fairy replied with a fierce grin. "I'm the strongest," she repeated.
"Yeah, you'd probably be banned from tournament play." Kotohime looked around the now-peaceful, if ravaged and frosted clearing. The light beaming down through the hole in the forest canopy had turned a lustrous orange as sunset approached, which Kotohime appreciated because it meant her hair shone like bronze. Birdsong had returned, and best of all there was no malicious presence in her mind any more, leaving her thinking clearly again for the first time in hours. "Once more I'm in your debt, Cirno," she declared. "The psychic shadow beast has been slain, leaving me free to continue protecting Gensokyo from its enemies without and within."
"So we solved the Incident?" asked Cirno.
"Yep, we…" Kotohime trailed off, struggling to remember just what the hell had set her off on her latest adventure. "Wait, no," she corrected herself. "The psionic dominator has been defeated, but the monster that attacked the village is still at large. But at least now I'll be able to go after them."
Cirno leapt into the air, her arms folded cockily as she hovered nearby. "So who's next?"
Kotohime sighed. "Don't know. Have to go get some clues back at the crime scene."
"Oh." The ice fairy looked less than enthusiastic.
"Tell me about it; the detective part isn't nearly as fun as the blowing-stuff-up part." Kotohime drummed her fingers against her thigh, frowning. She gave Cirno a look. "Tell you what, how about you go out on patrol? In case any more of those shadow things are out there. For every one you destroy, I'll have one less obstacle between me and solving this mystery."
"Okay, but..." Cirno frowned. "How do I know what I'm 'posed to shoot? I never got a good look at it. I just saw... gray?"
"Hmm." Kotohime cocked her head as she thought. "Well, just blast anything you don't recognize, how about that? Sweep the area for hostiles. Good ol' search-and-destroy."
"I can do that!" Cirno said, saluting. Her eyes lit up as an idea occurred to her. "Can I get deputies of my own?" she asked.
"Oh, certainly. You're second-in-command of the entire police force, you answer only to me." The princess grinned. "Go muster up a squad while I go dust for prints in the dust. I'll come get you once it's time for the final showdown. If I don't come back, you can avenge me."
"Yeah!" Cirno shot into the air like a sky-blue missile. "I'll get Wriggle and Rumia and Mystia and…"
Kotohime watched her leave, chuckling at the fairy's exuberance, before taking off on a course back towards the human village.
-x-
-11-
A few minutes later, Nue Houjuu stuck her head out from the bush she'd taken shelter in, carefully confirming that her opponents had gone. Seeing that she was safe, the dark-haired nue lurched out from her hiding spot, sagging with fatigue, the red metallic wings and blue tails that sprouted on opposite sides of her back drooping. She'd hoped for a little fun spooking some people, but damn… what was with this place? Even the fairies packed a wallop, and then ordinary humans tossed around bombs?
Last time she kept her seed of non-identification on herself, then. Better to stick it on something expendable.
Nue sighed and drifted into the air, coasting towards the Myouren Temple like a black cloud. Hopefully she could make it home without Byakuren finding out what she'd been doing. A scolding Nue could handle, but not the monk's look of disappointment…
-x-
-12-
Kotohime ignored the feeling that it was now dinnertime, assuring herself that she'd had a big, late lunch, and anyway the future of Gensokyo could be decided in the next few hours. She flipped open her notebook as she streaked along like a maroon missile, not reacting when another airborne traveler screamed out a warning before narrowly avoiding a collision with the oblivious princess.
So, Keine. Then Marisa. Then Reimu. Did Daiyousei count? If so, what about the slightly-bigger-than-normal-but-still-nameless fairy? And then Tokiko, and then the shadow thing.
Which made… Kotohime began counting on her fingers. Maybe five, maybe seven encounters. Not bad for a day's detectiving. And it meant, she realized with a grin, that odds were good the next person she bumped into would be the mastermind behind the Incident.
How appropriate, she reflected. She was headed back to the crime scene to belatedly search for clues, and where better to have the ultimate showdown than the place where the adventure began?
-x-
-13-
Kotohime landed on the outskirts of Hayoto's property, between his fields of… whatever he grew… and the treeline. Instinct told her that stealth was key, so the princess crept along in the lengthening shadows, approaching the house from behind. One hand rested near her pouch of homemade explosives, the other on the hilt of her jitte. Her heart was hammering in her chest with anticipation for the final battle. She barely noticed the beautiful colors in the sky above as the sun began to sink behind the mountains, or the cool breeze rustling the new growth in the forest.
This was it, do or die. One way or another, her journey would come to an end.
She reached Hayoto's back yard without meeting anyone, though she spotted movement in the house's windows. Peering closer, Kotohime could see the farmer and his wife working in the kitchen. She considered knocking on the back door so that she'd have an audience for the upcoming epic throwdown-
And then she noticed the shed.
It sat there, innocently, in a shady corner of the yard. There wasn't a mark on it, nor a single scorched patch or piece of debris marring the grass around it, just signs of heavy foot traffic.
Kotohime boggled at it for several long seconds. But she'd seen it scattered all over the yard just this morning! How could… and then her mouth dropped open as realization dawned.
She had gone back in time.
Somehow, her prodigious powers, combined with her heroic will to see justice done, had propelled her through history, to the very moment the crime she sought to solve was set to occur.
She double-checked. Yep, there was Hayoto, still sporting that ratty mustache and a bald spot everyone but him seemed to have noticed, looking exactly the same as he had that morning – or rather, tomorrow morning. He was fixing supper with his family, like he said he'd been when the Incident occurred. And it still felt like springtime, so she wasn't too far removed from her home time period.
A savage grin split Kotohime's face as she sank into a crouch, concealing her purple-robed form in the shadows and underbrush as best she could. Now she would have the perfect opportunity to see who the culprit was! She readied her jitte and took deep calming breaths, waiting for the moment to strike…
And waited…
Her legs began to cramp up from squatting so long. She almost leapt to the attack when she heard something approaching in the woods, but it was just a deer wandering by.
And waited…
Weren't you supposed to drink coffee during stakeouts? Did anyone around here sell the stuff? Also, she was pretty sure a bug had crawled up her dress. While it was good training for keeping her focus, it was also really itchy.
And waited…
Speaking of itchy, she really hoped she wasn't trying to hide in a clump of poison ivy. Wait, that didn't grow in Japan, did it? And if it didn't, then what was she sitting in, anyway?
And waited…
The sun was just a ruddy glow on the horizon, the temperature was dropping, the forest insects were making a racket, and Kotohime was losing patience. Where the hell was the culprit? Surely she'd been sent back to the right time? So why wasn't…
Kotohime gasped as her train of thought reached an inevitable, horrifying conclusion.
There was no culprit coming.
But she'd gone back in time while investigating the destruction of the tool shed.
Which meant…
"Oh no," breathed Kotohime. "No. It was me. It was me. I blew up the tool shed."
She wanted to deny it, to scream her outrage at her inability to defy fate. But there was no arguing with the facts. The shed had to be destroyed to preserve the timeline, and there was nobody else around to do it. The reason Kotohime had never discovered the culprit was obvious – after all, she had never considered herself a suspect.
Kotohime took heavy steps out of cover, plodding one pace after another towards her destiny, blinking back furious tears. This was a violation of the very values that drove her to become a policewoman in the first place. How could she look her subjects in the eye, knowing that she was a princess doomed to destroy their treasured tool sheds?
Perhaps this was for the best. Better that she bear this burden than some random troublemaker or innocent bystander. She would nobly sacrifice her soul to save another's.
Kotohime came to a halt before the shed, and examined the simple, charmingly-rustic structure. That such a trivial thing would be her unmaking… it was enough to make her laugh bitterly for a moment. The false mirth faded as she wondered what Hayoto's life would be like if his tool shed had survived. What could he have done with the time spent agonizing over its loss? What wonderful inventions would he never create? And the effects went even wider, like ripples on a pond's surface – peoples' lives he would never touch, friendships that would never be forged. A chain reaction of causality, all depending on whether or not this tool shed was destroyed.
She knew that, at this very moment, her past self was frittering away an evening at home, living her life free and happy, blissfully unaware that she was the plaything of fate. Kotohime envied that woman, who could enjoy a few more hours of childish naiveté. But she shook herself out of her reverie. She had delayed long enough. It was time to end the charade, to meet her destiny.
Her face set in grim concentration, Kotohime summoned all of her magical power. She never considered herself a fire magus, but she could do what had to be done. She felt the flames kindle in her cupped hands, let the warmth and brightness grow until it looked like a star had alighted in the yard. And with a cry of despair she flung her dreadful payload at the tool shed.
She wouldn't call it a kaboom, more like a choom.
Kotohime didn't react as burning wood fragments missed her face by inches as they streaked past at just under the speed of sound. She ignored the blast of heat that blew her glorious red hair into disarray and set the hem of her dress smoldering. She didn't blink from the blinding flash of light. She endured it all, because she would not look away from what she had been forced to do.
In a heartbeat, the hopes and dreams of a humble farmer had been reduced to a smear of ash on the ground and a few pieces of kindling.
Kotohime turned and slowly walked away, back into the treeline, noting how the now-vanished sun mirrored the shadow over her soul quite poetically. She could hear a commotion coming from Hayoto's home, the slam of the back door. There was a moment of stunned silence, and then a man screamed "WHY?" at the uncaring heavens.
The princess wanted to go to him, comfort him, grieve with him. But she couldn't bear to see the look on his face when he learned what she had done and why she had to do it.
Would she ever be able to wear her badge again? Could she lead Gensokyo, scarred as she was by this ordeal?
"In time, perhaps," Kotohime quietly assured herself. "In time."
She marched deeper into the woods, away from the possibility of human company. She felt like being alone for a while, and she couldn't exactly go home – after all, there would be another Kotohime running around until things caught up with themselves the next day. So she resolved to spend the night out in the Forest of Magic, both as penance and in order to preserve the timeline.
Kotohime came to a stop in a likely clearing, looking around for places to curl up and call it an early night. A rock… a mossy log… a pile of animal droppings…
She frowned in distaste. She was, above all else, a princess. This wouldn't do at all.
-x-
-14-
"What are you doing?"
Kotohime turned and looked down at the speaker. She had to twist her neck a bit since she couldn't really pivot, being up in a tree hanging on for her life, but she could make out blond hair and a blue-and-white blouse, and that meant Alice Margatroid. Of course, the pair of dolls hovering near her shoulders like a couple of well-dressed moons was also a dead giveaway.
The princess spat the nails she had been holding in her mouth into a cupped hand so she could talk, and wedged her hammer in the crook between two branches. "Making a treehouse, of course," she said as though it were obvious.
Alice gave the other woman a cool stare as she surveyed the scene. There was a bunch of wooden planks nailed haphazardly into the tree's branches, resembling not so much a house or platform as it did a carpenter's sneeze. "I was wondering what those noises were last night," the magician commented. "That was you, wasn't it? Hammering and making a racket past midnight?"
"Yep." Kotohime took a moment to swig from a flask of something she had stashed down one sleeve.
"So you were building your tree house all night long," Alice continued.
"That's right," Kotohime replied. Alice noticed the woman's eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles under them. Given that the irises were already red, the result was quite creepy.
"Why?"
Kotohime blinked at her. "So I'd have a place to sleep," the princess explained, as she would to a child.
Alice stared for a moment, and considered asking where Kotohime had gotten the tools, the building materials, the flask, or the half-eaten breakfast sitting on a plate at the base of the tree. Instead she turned around without further word and walked back to her cottage, refusing to get involved.
Kotohime shrugged and got back to work designing her arboreal palace.
-x-
Author's Notes
Once upon a time we had a thread on the TV Tropes forums that went through every single Touhou character, discussing them and our interpretations of them, and that's where I first encountered a princess who was secretly a police officer. Normally I'd just dismiss Kotohime as another example of Touhou's pre-Windows weirdness (as opposed to its contemporary weirdness), but I had one of those random thoughts and impulsively characterized her as Gensokyo's answer to Emperor Norton (look him up on Wikipedia, he's all kinds of awesome). And the idea was so appealing it wouldn't go away. I kept thinking of all the fun you could have with a character like that and the stories you could tell.
So I wrote one. I like to write, and sometimes you just have to vent some of the stuff that your mind comes up with. I wrote down some plot bunnies, sometimes going on for pages, sometimes managing a sentence or two just to get a punchline down. I wasn't really intending to write fanfiction, and at most I thought I might share some of the stuff on the forums. But it got too big, and so I wound up here, which I'm still trying to wrap my head around.
This was the first Kotohime story I came up with, and I pretty much wrote it by the seat of my pants - though I was lucky enough to come up with the ending around a third of the way into it. I certainly wasn't expecting it to get so big, but that's how it turned out. Now I'm worried that future entries will all seem puny by comparison. I can only hope they end up spiraling out of control too.
If you're wondering how Marisa managed to damage her witchy hat in the lab accident despite wearing a helmet, the answer is either a) she likes to keep it nearby or b) she was wearing it on top of the helmet.
No, Cirno didn't get in trouble over her "badge;" Meiling was quite happy that the fairy found her lost accessory. And don't worry too much over whether nèijìng is the right term for what Cirno's been learning or trying to employ. Remember who's talking, after all.
I keep hearing "Invincible" from the World of Warcraft soundtrack during the story's heartbreaking climax. Oddly enough, I don't associate Zelda's fairy fountain music with Daiyousei's grotto, but "Garden of the Gods" from Chrono Cross.