In my sweet little Alice Blue Gown,
When I first wandered down into town,
I was so proud inside,
As I felt every eye,
And in every shop window I primped, passing by.
By Joe McCarthy and Harry Tierney (1919)
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters from the Saga. Stephenie Meyer is the owner of Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. This work and the original ideas presented therein are the sole property of this author.
A/N: Special thanks to my awesome beta, Belle Dean, for all of her help. Also, if it weren't for the sassy chicks from the WC Playroom, this chapter likely wouldn't have gotten written. Thanks for writing with me: SweetVenom69, Loss4words, beatlefnatic, swimom7, and AmelieGee! Hugs, kisses, and cookies for everyone.
The steady, thrumming motion of the train slowed, startling me out of a fitful dream. I dreamt that I was sitting in the middle of a large bed. Alice was at the foot of the bed as were a number of people I didn't recognize. Although I had never seen them before, my dream self recognized Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle as part of the group. They were all staring down at me, shaking their heads sadly. I was talking to them, trying to get them to answer me, but they never said a word. It was frustrating. I was pulling at my hair and shaking my head with exasperation, but still they remained silent and sad. I was getting ready to jump off the bed when the train's slowing woke me.
"Hello, sleepy head," Alice murmured as she rubbed her eyes. Sometime after I had fallen asleep, she had moved back to the other seat in the compartment. I was curled up with my head on my traveling cloak and my neck was stiff.
"Hello," I replied, sitting up and smoothing out my dress. It was much darker than it had been when I last looked around. I thought perhaps the train was already in the station, but I realized quickly how late it must be and how long I must have been sleeping. "What time is it?"
"Going on eight. We're nearly there."
The knot was immediately back in my stomach and I knew the fear was plain on my face. Alice was at my side in a flash, smoothing my hair and whispering to me.
"You need to relax, Bella. This is our family. They want us. They fought to get us. They will not do anything to harm you."
"Alice, I know that," I said, shaking my head. "You don't understand. They're going to love you! I'm just so afraid they won't understand me."
"Honey, why are you worrying about something that hasn't even happened yet? They're going to love you just as much as you think they'll love me."
I nodded, not telling her the truth: they could only really love one of us. I felt certain Aunt Esme would feel an immediate kinship with Alice, a feeling which Alice would naturally return. I doubted Aunt Esme could ever feel that way about me.
"Come on, Sissy," Alice said, pulling on my arm. "The train is stopping. Let's get our things together so we can get right off."
Her excitement was compelling, but not enough to erase my fear. I slowly placed my journal back into my carry on bag and shrugged into my jacket. As I pulled the jacket off the seat, the leather pouch with the letters in it fell onto the floor at my feet, spilling some of the letters onto the floor. Alice dove for it.
"Oh! I nearly forgot about these!"
"I'm sorry," I said, bending over to help her gather the letters. "I should have been more careful."
She smiled at me, squeezing my hand.
"It's all going to be ok. I promise."
"How do you know?" I whispered, gripping her hand tightly.
"I just do. Now come on. We don't want to keep Aunt Esme waiting."
I rolled my eyes at her impatience; the train had barely stopped and no one had exited their compartments yet. But there was little left for me to do except follow behind my sister and pray.
A porter greeted us as we exited our cabin and was leading us off the train to where we would meet Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle. Union station was far larger than the station we had left from in Pennsylvania. From the small windows of the train, I could see the massive metal buttresses supporting the mostly glass ceiling. The train shed seemed large enough to house at least ten trains, possibly more. It was overwhelming. I clung to Alice as we made our way off the train.
There was a bustle of activity on the platform, people scurrying around carrying bags and other boxes. The open concrete shed amplified the sounds of men shouting orders at each other. The noise was deafening, making me want to cover my ears. Porters were pushing large carts carrying luggage as well as ushering important passengers through the crowd. With the last observation, I noticed a change in my sister. I watched as she took note of the well-to-do passengers walking behind the porters, shoulders held back and surveying the crowds. She immediately took on their air, smiling at the scene in front of her. This was her stage and she was ready for her entrance.
She shone as she stepped off the train; people stopped and stared at her as she walked by and it just made her smile and stand straighter. She breezed through the crowd and I gawked after her, forgetting to walk with her. In my rush to catch up, I tripped over the last step, nearly stumbling to the ground.
A pair of strong arms caught me, righting me as they broke my fall. I found myself firmly on my feet and clutched in the grasp of a large, strong man. My nose was inches from his chest when I dared to open my eyes. I immediately jerked away from him and looked up into the eyes of a concerned boy. He could be no more than a year or two my senior.
"Miss, are you hurt?" he asked me. I heard Alice calling after me as well. The blood was swirling loudly in my head as I felt the blush rising in my cheeks.
"I'm fine," I said stiffly, stepping back and trying to put further distance between us. Suddenly, he reached out quickly and grabbed my arm, his viselike grip on my arms scaring me badly. I knew I wouldn't be able to pull away from him.
"You don't want to touch that," he said, pointing behind me. "That'll burn you good."
I looked behind me and saw I was within inches of backing into one of the steel pipes on the train. I felt my head swimming in my embarrassment. Suddenly, a pair of cool hands were grabbing my upper arms and pulling me to the side. The boy quickly released me into the arms of my sister and looked after me with concern in his eyes.
"Oh, thank you for catching her fall," Alice said to the young man. "Bella, honey, what were you doing? You could have broken your leg!"
"I'm sorry." I let my head droop onto Alice's shoulder and closed my eyes to the passers-by who were craning their necks to get a look at me. "I was watching you," I whispered.
She giggled and squeezed me tightly.
"Are you going to be alright, Miss?" the boy called after us. Alice stopped immediately and turned around to face him. "I could call someone. They could bring you a chair."
"Oh, no! Please!" I begged Alice to lead me away.
"Thank you again," Alice said, looking at me pointedly.
I murmured a thank you to the young man and stayed glued to my sister. Alice offered a weak apology for my embarrassment which the boy brushed aside, again wishing me well. I heard the exasperated sigh of the porter as we began following him again.
"Where is he taking us?" I asked Alice as we hurried behind the porter.
"To the waiting area, I suppose. That's where people wait. I wonder if Aunt Esme will allow us to get something to eat? I'm starved!"
"Alice!" I hissed. It was so unladylike of her to mention hunger right now. We needed to be polite and cordial to our new family.
"What? Tell me you aren't hungry, little sister. I can hear your stomach talking from here." She giggled as she poked me in the stomach. My embarrassment was slowly fading away as my sister poked and jeered with me in such familiar ways. She always knew exactly how to ease me.
We stepped into a marble atrium filled with wooden benches. Along the white walls were lines of green marble pillars holding up a faux ceiling. The ceiling itself was clean white and edged with large windows. I imagined during the day the entire room would have gleamed with the sunlight. It was really quite beautiful…and completely frightening.
Although the night was thick and deep outside of the station, the electric lights lit up the interior of the station like daytime. People were bustling and greeting each other as though they were simply meeting on the street. There were people dressed in fine clothes walking right next to people dressed in little more than rags. Everywhere I looked, the upper crust of Chicago society was walking side by side with the urchins on the street, neither one taking much notice of the other. I looked around me, looking for a familiar face and only finding my sister. I found she was now clinging to me as tightly as I was clinging to her. The waiting area was overwhelming even for my outgoing sister.
"Alright, Misses," the porter called over his shoulder, pointing and gesticulating with his arms as he showed us where to find things. "Your family should be waiting for you here. Your bags will come in over there. The taxis line up outside that door over there. And you can find a bit to eat there and there. Anything else? Have a good night."
With those words, he was gone. Alice and I called after him, begging him to help us find the family we had never seen before. Alice turned to me as he disappeared into the sea of humanity, her cool clearly cracking. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line, and I could see them threatening to turn downward. She was angry; I could tell this was not how she pictured the start of our new life. Alice always became upset when things did not go according to her plans. I breathed in deeply, mustering courage from somewhere within me.
"Come now, Alice. Uncle Carlisle will surely have picked up people from the train station before. Certainly they won't leave us here."
"But they don't know what we look like, Bella," she said, her lip quivering and revealing the fear hiding underneath of her anger.
I looked around frantically, as if something out in the large waiting room would give me an answer. Though several inches taller than my older sister, I was still at a height disadvantage in the large room. I couldn't see anyone who stood out to me…except for one brown-haired head which seemed to be almost a full six inches above everyone around him. I was looking at the back of this man's head which was covered in tightly cropped curls. My eyes were continually drawn to him, willing him to turn around and look at me. I didn't know why I wanted him to look at me; perhaps because he was the only person who truly caught my attention. As if he could feel the weight of my gaze on him, he began turning, looking for who was staring at him.
"Alice, what does Uncle Carlisle look like?"
"How should I know?" she snapped, looking around wildly. "Aunt Esme never sent pictures!"
"Is he exceptionally tall, do you think? Perhaps with brown, curly hair?" The large man was bending down to someone at his side, saying something and pointing in our direction. He had seen us and something had drawn his interest. I hoped he was either Uncle Carlisle or a police officer. Otherwise, I would have just committed my second serious blunder having only arrived in Chicago a half hour ago.
"I think Aunt Esme wrote in one of her letters that Uncle Carlisle had blond hair," Alice said trailing off. "Why do you ask? My stomach dropped to the floor. The curly haired man was walking quickly this way, staring directly at me with a smile on his face. Beside him, I could see the head of a woman with wavy, brown hair bobbing quickly up and down trying to keep step with his huge strides. As he got closer, he began waving at me.
I tugged on Alice's sleeve and pointed at the towering man coming our way.
"Is that Uncle Carlisle?" I asked.
"Where?" Alice asked, trying to follow my wavering finger. "Oh! I don't know but he seems to know us."
The man was about twenty feet away when he broke out into a huge grin. As he approached us, I could see how gentle his face seemed. I reminded myself that looks were very often deceiving, took a deep breath and tried to prepare myself for anything. I looked beside him and was faced with a vision of my mother.
Well, not my mother exactly. Where Mother's face was lined with worry and grief, this face was open and pure. Where Mother's lips turned down in nearly constant frowns of worry and disappointment, this mouth seemed to turn naturally up. Where mother's eyes were dark and very often angry, these eyes were the lightest, dancing blue. They were almost exactly the same shade as Alice's.
"My cousins, I presume?" the big man said in a deep baritone. His voice, though loud enough to carry over the din, was kind and cautious, as though he wished to put us at ease.
"Cousin Emmett?" Alice choked.
"You know my name!" he exclaimed. "You must be the younger one. Isabella, right?"
She laughed and grabbed my arm, bending over slightly in her relief and mirth.
"No, that's Alice I expect," the woman next to Emmett said. Her voice was like the softest silk. She was looking at Alice and me with open amazement. "And you are Isabella. You look very much like Renee when she was a young girl."
"Aunt Esme," Alice breathed.
I was too stunned that I had picked out my cousin from across the room to be able to speak just yet. Instead, I stood dumbfounded, looking from one to the other. Aunt Esme was gathering Alice into a hug and the large man, my cousin Emmett it seemed, was watching the scene with a smile.
"How did you know I was Alice?"
Aunt Esme shrugged and pulled her tighter. "It doesn't matter how I knew, sweetie. I'm just so glad you both are here! Come, Isabella! Give me a hug!"
I stepped closer to her and allowed her to pull me into an embrace. She smelled of cinnamon and linen. It was a clean, warm smell. Her arms were strong around me and I could feel how deeply she wanted to form a connection with me. I was tentative though. Mother had never been open in her shows of affection; I couldn't remember the last time she had hugged me or Alice. This was strange to have someone who was practically a stranger hug me tighter than my own mother had in a long while.
"I'm so glad you've finally arrived," Aunt Esme whispered in my ear.
"She goes by Bella, actually," Alice informed her as we broke apart.
Esme nodded. "It suits you well," she said finally and turned to her son. "Em, darling, be a dear and get the girls' luggage into the car. We're going to get a table at the restaurant. You both must be starving!"
"Yes, Mother," he said, lumbering off to the baggage pick up.
"You have a car?" Alice asked.
"Yes, dear. Your Uncle Carlisle has a passion for cars. We have the Studebaker with us tonight. It will fit all of your luggage as well as the four of us quite comfortably I'm sure."
Alice was awed into silence and I became speculative. Aunt Esme spoke as though they owned more than one car. Mother would have felt even one car to be an extravagance. To own more than one was just gross excess. How ever could they afford it?
"Thank you for taking us to dinner," I said as we seated ourselves in the nearly empty restaurant.
"But of course, dear! I know they barely carry anything edible on those trains. You must be famished!"
"Where is Uncle Carlisle?" Alice asked, excitement dancing in her eyes.
"At the hospital," Aunt Esme responded, raising her hand to Emmett who was standing at the front of the restaurant. "He is working the night shift this week. He was so sorry that he would be missing your arrival."
"What does he do at the hospital?" Alice asked.
"He specializes in surgery, but is happy to go where he is most needed," Aunt Esme said, her voice trailing off as Emmett reached the table. She smiled up at her son. "That was fast!"
"You two travel lightly!"
"Bella does, anyway," Alice commented with a snicker.
Of course, I blushed in response. Alice was clearly at ease with our new family, but I felt utterly on display, as though every part of me were up for observation and critique. What would they think of my backward style? My clumsiness?
Aunt Esme was a vision of style and grace. She seemed to just exude assurance. It seemed odd to me that a woman who had endured the horrors Alice told me about on the train could sit in a room full of strangers without cowering. Though I sat with perfect posture as Mother had instructed, inside I felt the stirrings of fear. I understood my fear to be a tad irrational; we were with an adult male, chaperoned by our aunt. No one would likely approach us. However, I could not forget the cautionary tales mother used to tell us about licentious men. It made being in public uncomfortable.
Emmett was talking now, his strong voice managing to come off gentle as he asked polite questions.
"What was Carson like?" he asked both of us, looking us in the eye and smiling.
"It was a lovely place," Alice said smiling. "We made a lot of friends there and learned quite a bit as well."
"What subjects did they cover?" Aunt Esme asked, sitting up at once.
"They offered a number of different options for us," Alice said. "I took several art classes as well as cooking, sewing, and pottery."
"What about math? And a language? Didn't they have any requirements?" Aunt Esme seemed to be getting angry about something.
"Well, no…not exactly. We were encouraged to take the cooking, sewing, and home economics classes. I took art and sewing because…" Alice broke off, looking down at her grey dress. "I love fashion," she said softly.
"That's nothing to be ashamed of, darling," Aunt Esme said, reaching across the table and squeezing her hand. "But the other subjects are important as well. We'll have to do a bit of catch up at home for you both in order to keep up with what the schools are offering here."
She pursed her lips thinking.
"Well, I would wager Bella is more than caught up in Literature at least. She is quite the writer and reader!"
Aunt Esme turned to me and smiled. She reached out her other hand and took mine. Her hand was warm and soft.
"That is wonderful to hear, Bella!" she said, looking me straight in the eye. Her gaze was gentle and yet probing, as though she were looking through me. "What are your favorites?"
Immediately I felt the perspiration forming on my forehead. I looked from Aunt Esme's calm eyes over to Emmett's openly interested gaze, and finally to Alice's encouraging face. She seemed to be willing me to speak up.
"I-- Well, I love poetry," I said, looking down at the table.
I was noticing how awkward it felt to have my arm extended over to the side. I wanted to pull it back to myself and wrap my arms around my midsection, but I knew it would be rude.
"What type of poetry?" Aunt Esme asked. There was no exasperation in her voice, simply interest.
Emmett was engaged in a whispered conversation with the waiter, placing our order. Just knowing his attention was diverted for a time gave me a little courage.
"Tennyson is wonderful. And I love Byron and Keats as well."
"I hold it true, whate'er befall; / I feel it when I sorrow most; / 'Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all. Tennyson has some wonderful works. I'm sure you will find many of his words in your Uncle Carlisle's study."
I gaped openly at her, surprised to hear the whole of that stanza fall from her lips so effortlessly. Most only quoted the last two lines and they never even knew he was referring to the loss of a dear friend to death. Before me sat a very well educated woman who seemed to be impressed with me.
"That is a lovely poem," I said. "The "Idylls of the King" are my favorite though."
"Oh! You're a romantic then!"
Alice, blast her, nearly choked on her water. Aunt Esme never batted an eyelash at my sister's poorly hidden laughter. She regarded me evenly, acceptingly.
"I enjoy the distraction which romantic literature provides." I didn't wish to get into an argument with Aunt Esme, nor did I wish to discuss this with Alice at the table, knowing her feelings about my take on relationships. It would be all too inappropriate with our cousin here anyway.
"Is it just poetry then, Bella, or do you enjoy other forms of literature as well?" Emmett asked.
"Bella likes it all!" Alice said enthusiastically. "She always either has her nose in a book or a pen in her hand."
"Do you want to write for a living someday?" Aunt Esme asked.
"I doubt I will have time to write once married with children," I replied.
"I see," Aunt Esme said.
The waiter arrived with a few plates of rich food and Aunt Esme carefully took her hand back first from me and then from Alice. She didn't say another word about Literature or try to question me about my views on marriage again through dinner, but I felt the sting of her short reply immediately. She was disappointed in me. I wondered why it mattered to me so very much.
During dinner we learned that Emmett was nearly finished with law school. He was interning with a lawyer in town by the name of Masen. The family had been friends with Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle for as long as Emmett could remember so it seemed a natural choice for him to intern with Mr. Masen when the time came. He enjoyed working closely with Mr. Masen and hoped to one day practice law with him.
"Ed is fabulously respected in the community," Emmett was saying. I found his enthusiasm about practicing law absolutely compelling. "He has this knack for always seeing through the lies and finding the really innocent clients. And he rarely loses. He's been so much help to me."
"The whole family is just wonderful," Esme said, tilting her head to the side. Much to my surprise, Aunt Esme brought out a cigarette case and a book of matches. After lighting her cigarette, she continued. "Alice, how old are you?"
"I'm 17, Aunt Esme. I'll be 18 in December."
"So you have just this last year in school. And you, Bella?"
"I just turned sixteen last month," I replied, wondering where Aunt Esme was headed.
"Edward would be perfect then," she muttered, blowing smoke up in the air.
My stomach dropped. Who was Edward? Why was she bringing him up after asking our ages? Was she considering matches for us already? Over our first dinner? I hoped she wouldn't try to marry my sister off too quickly; I feared that Alice would rebel and try to leave. I looked over at Alice who shrugged her shoulders.
"Don't you think Emmett?" she asked. "Edward is just a year older than Alice. He would be perfect to get girls caught up, don't you agree?"
"Edward is an amazing student," Emmett said, rubbing his chin. "And he's over at the house enough as it is, stealing my law textbooks."
"Don't be rude, Emmett. Edward looks up to you and hopes to follow in your footsteps. Your guidance has been as helpful to him as his father's has been to you."
"I'm only teasing. You know I love him like a brother."
She smiled. "I know. The two of you are very much like brothers."
Alice and I looked between the two of them and then back at each other. We were still quite confused by this exchange.
"I'm sorry, dears! You must be wondering what we're talking about. Mr. Masen has a son just about your age who just graduated from the boy's school and is beginning college. I thought it would be wonderful if he tutored you both, bringing you up to date. I'll have to talk to Elizabeth and Edward tomorrow about his school schedule and try to find a time which will work."
"Tutored?" I stuttered. "By a…boy?"
Esme looked at me, her calm features cracking slightly. She seemed concerned. She stubbed out her cigarette and leaned over toward me.
"I would never leave you unattended, Bella."
Her words were light, but they came with the weight of a promise. She was not making a match for me. She was not forcing me or Alice to court this boy. I realized I had been holding my breath and let it out in an audible whoosh. Emmett remained quiet with what now appeared to be a false smile on his lips. Aunt Esme looked both frightened and sad. She shook her head and then motioned for the waiter. I was shocked to see her pull out her own wallet and pay for the meal herself. With a grown man at the table, it seemed strange to see the lady pay for the meal. Emmet, however, never batted an eyelash at the way his mother took control of the table and the bill.
Emmett ushered us out of the train station and into the nearby car. The night was dark, but the streets were lit with an eerie glow from the overhead street lamps. Our small town outside of Philadelphia didn't have street lamps. Although I despised the dark, I hated the way the lights seemed to cast shadows around the city, lighting things in sinister ways and creating new places for people and things to hide.
We drove to the Cullen residence in silence, Aunt Esme sitting in the front with her son and Alice and I sitting close together in the back of the car. Neither of us were bold enough to tell Aunt Esme that this was our first car ride. Mother thought it unseemly for a lady to drive, so without a man in our lives, we did without.
Although I was still on edge from the unspoken conversation Aunt Esme and I had shared in the restaurant, I was finding it difficult to keep my eyes open on the way to the house. Alice and I were both nodding off by the time the car lurched to a halt in front of a large brownstone. We both blinked looking at it. It seemed nearly as large as one of the dormitories at Carson. It was certainly larger than any of the houses near where we lived before.
"Emmett will bring the luggage in. Girls, I'll show you to your rooms."
"Rooms?" Alice squeaked.
I knew what she was worried about. We had slept in the same room from the time I was born; we had never had separate rooms. Instead of wondering why Alice suddenly seemed scared, Aunt Esme smiled a rather sad smile.
"I figured you were used to sleeping in the same room," she said softly. "I have the beds in the same room. The other room is a dressing room with two large closets for your clothes as well as two desks for your homework. We can spend some time tomorrow and the next day setting things up how you would like them."
She turned and walked to the house, but I was nearly certain she caught Alice's look of ecstasy at the thought of a "dressing" room. I rolled my eyes thinking of the torture she would likely subject me to in said room.
We walked through the house while Aunt Esme flipped on lights and pointed out rooms. The house was enormous, but it was not opulent or ornate. Everything was carefully placed and thought out, creating a comfortable place to live and be. I found myself focusing on small details which caught my eyes. My eyes were particularly drawn to the large room Aunt Esme called the library room. It was filled, floor to ceiling with books. There were no little trinkets or baubles on the shelves; this was a true library where the only things placed on the shelves were tightly packed rows of books. My feet slowed and I stared into the room, my mouth hanging open slightly.
The room was larger than I thought. There was a large desk off to one side and a large ladder attached to the wall. Although the room looked to be a normal size, I felt like I could get lost in the rows of neatly lined books. They were all so beautiful, with multi-colored bindings. I felt overwhelmed by the possibilities the books offered to me. Suddenly, my sister's hand was in mine.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she asked.
I nodded.
"And it's all real."
Esme was watching our exchange from the steps, leaning against the banister with a wistful look on her face. I wondered what she thought of us, two sisters who were so different and yet so close. I wondered if she and my mother had been like Alice and I at one time or if they had always had their differences. From the look on her face, I guessed that Esme had fond memories of her sister.
I awoke in a strange, four-poster bed with light streaming across my face. The night before, Alice and I had barely found the energy to get ready for bed. We threw on our night clothes and rushed through our night routine before falling gratefully into bed. After blinking my eyes several times and jogging my memory, I remembered where I was. This was Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle's house. Alice and I lived here now.
I looked around the room, seeing it clearly for the first time in the morning light. There was a beautiful painting on the wall of two women. One woman was facing the window and the other woman as brushing the seated woman's hair. There was something so vulnerable and sweet about the way the women were posed together, like they were sharing a secret of some kind. I wondered where Aunt Esme found it.
I looked further around the room and realized I was alone; Alice was not in her bed. I threw the covers off of me and jumped out of bed. I looked at my bed side table where I saw my brush and hair tie. It suddenly dawned on me that I had no idea where my clothes were. When we came into the room last night, we pulled on matching night gowns which Aunt Esme had laid out. Before bidding us goodnight, she had taken our traveling clothes for the wash. I was now without any appropriate clothing to go downstairs.
I felt the blush rising in my face when I heard a familiar fast step outside the door. Alice was coming to rescue me.
"Bella!" she called, hearing me awake. "It's just me, Sissy. Can I come in?"
"Yes, please!" I said.
She came in, fully dressed and carrying my clothes for me. I sighed in relief.
"Where did you get our clothes?" I asked.
"I unpacked our trunks this morning while you slept. You must have been very tired."
"What time is it?"
I ran my hands over my face, trying to clear all cobwebs from my head. The light coming through the window was quite bright.
"It's nearly ten in the morning, sleepyhead." Alice's smirk was quite unflattering and I told her so. In response, she threw my clothes at me.
"Get dressed. We're expecting company for lunch today."
"We're expecting guests?" I repeated.
"Aunt Esme invited two families over for lunch today. Since it's Saturday and everyone is home, she thought it would be the perfect time to introduce us to some of our peers."
"Our…peers?"
"Don't be daft, Bella. Why are you worried?"
"We just got here! We haven't even met Uncle Carlisle!"
"I have," she interjected. "He's charming."
I rolled my eyes at her and stepped past her toward the door.
"Where are you going?"
"To freshen up," I insisted. "I'll be right back to get changed and ready. Then you can tell me everything about everyone we are meeting as I'm sure you already know their entire histories."
Her laughter followed me down the hall. I wasn't really cross with the idea of a luncheon. It had been so long since we had been to any social functions. And, perhaps, meeting some other people would take the pressure off of Alice and myself. I finished in the bathroom and returned the room where Alice had laid out my clothes properly, along with some jewelry and hair accessories.
"Just who is coming for lunch?" I asked suspiciously.
"As I said, two families who are close to Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle."
"You're avoiding the question."
"No I am not," she said pouting. "The Hale family is coming. Dr. Hale works at the hospital with Uncle Carlisle. They have two children, twins, about two years older than me, by the name of Jasper and Rosalie. Rosalie is Emmett's intended. They are to be married in four months time!"
I could hear the excitement in her voice. Alice had never attended a wedding before but dreamed often of both planning and attending weddings.
"And? Who else?" I asked.
"And the Masen family will be here as well. You remember Emmett speaking last night about the gentleman he interns for? Apparently the whole family is very close with the Cullens and they will be here as well."
I stared ahead as my sister began to work my hair into place. The curls from yesterday had settled into gentle waves and Alice was pulling all of it back and off my neck. Her fingers were strong and cool in on my scalp.
"Why were you so worried about who was coming for lunch?" Alice asked as she pinned my hair back.
"You will laugh at me," I objected.
She came around in front of me and leaned against the vanity. Her eyes were clearer than I've seen them in a long time.
"Things are not going to be like they were before, Bella. Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle don't believe in forcing their children to marry; Emmett and Rose fell in love all on their own. They hope the same for the both of us."
"That's all the more reason for me to worry, Alice," I said, my lip quivering as I thought through the possibilities. "You've always known this is what you wanted. Now that you have this freedom, you could find your dream husband today and leave me tomorrow. I'd be left here not knowing what to do for myself. I've never even dreamt of the possibility of finding a match for myself!"
As I spoke, my voice began to rise higher and higher. A tear spilled out of my eye and onto my cheek and I rubbed at it furiously. All the while, Alice observed me calmly.
"I am not going to leave you tomorrow, though I don't rule out the possibility of finding my match today…or any day for that matter. That's the biggest problem with you, little sister. You are always placing limitations on yourself. You're never exploring the possibilities. What if your perfect match showed up here today?"
"Don't be ridiculous," I said. "Things like that don't happen to people like me."
"Why? Why do you say things like that?"
"Because it's true Alice!" I said angrily. I couldn't sit any longer. I stood up and strode over to the window. I didn't hear her walk over to me but I sensed her presence behind me. "You talk like now that we're in Chicago, suddenly the world is open to us and anything can happen. Do you really believe that?"
"I do," she said firmly, crossing her arms across her chest and jutting out her jaw. "Everything feels…right now. Like we are finally where we are supposed to be."
"That's because this is your childhood dream!" I lashed out at her. "You've always wanted to be here with her! What about me? This wasn't how life was supposed to go for me!"
Alice stared at me, her face blank and angry. I hadn't heard the door open, but suddenly Esme was standing behind Alice with her arm around her.
"Alice, won't you be a dear and help Emmett set out the linens? He never gets it quite right."
Alice nodded, still staring at me. I knew she was angry at me for refusing to share in her dream, but I was angry too. Didn't she see that when her dream came true, my dream all but shattered? She walked out of the room and banged the door harder than she needed to.
"She's angry with me," I mumbled.
"I heard," she said, smiling. "May I?"
She held out the brush and the rest of the pins. I nodded stiffly and walked over to the chair. I sat stiffly, uncomfortable with the intimacy Aunt Esme and I were sharing.
"How was your life supposed to go?" she asked, brushing my hair gently. It was different than when Alice did it, but not unpleasant.
"The usual way," I said. "I was supposed to live at home with Mother until she found the proper match for me and then I would marry. Once married, I would take care of my husband and family."
"All of those things revolve around other people. What do you want for you?"
"I don't understand."
"I know, sweetie. That's what is so sad. There is so much more to life than the servitude my mother drilled into me, and it seems your mother drilled into you. Alice says you love to write. Don't you dream of writing someday?"
"I write everyday, Aunt Esme," I said. "My writing is only for me, though."
"What if one day it wasn't just for you? What if one day there was someone who took as much pleasure out of your writing as you did?"
"I don't understand," I said again. "No man will care what a woman has to say."
"The right man will," she said wistfully. "Baby, I know you've been fed a future where your life is supposed to revolve around some man who barely knows you exist except at dinner time. But life doesn't have to be like that. And I know I can't make you see that. I know Alice wants to, but even she can't make you see it. You're going to have to see it for yourself. Just…let yourself see, Bella. Don't close your mind. Can you promise me that?"
It seemed I had no other choice. Everyone wanted me to "look around" and "see what there was to see." I guessed I would need to do so in order to appease everyone. I just couldn't imagine anything or anyone who could change what I had become.
Alice and I had made up within a half hour. She and I never could stay mad at each other for very long. She came back up to the room as Aunt Esme was finishing my hair and we had a tearful reunion. Aunt Esme watched silently.
"Alice, were any of the guests here when you came up?"
"The Masens are here," she replied. "I only saw them as I was coming up the stairs. I didn't think it proper to introduce myself."
"Of course," Aunt Esme said. "We want to introduce you both together. Why don't the two of you finish getting ready and then come down together?"
We both nodded and Aunt Esme left us alone. Alice immediately began simpering with my hair and face, trying to fix the damage from crying.
"Stop," I said. "I'm fine. Besides, you were the one telling me over and over how no one was trying to make a match for me. Don't go proving yourself wrong."
"Bella, darling, you should look beautiful for you, not for any man."
I giggled at her put on tone. I could tell she was trying to sound like Aunt Esme.
"Whatever you say, Alice."
We walked down the stairs to the sound of piano music. Both Alice and I stopped on the steps to listen. It sounded live, as if someone was playing in one of the downstairs rooms.
"Did they hire a pianist?" I asked.
"Aunt Esme said this was just an informal lunch. Why would they hire music for us?"
I shrugged and listened more carefully. The piece was classical, but whoever was playing lent a relaxed almost modern twist to the music. The melody was familiar, but the rhythms were just slightly…off. From the time I was a child, I had always enjoyed piano music. Mother tried to have someone teach me, thinking it would be a graceful skill. I failed. This music was different than anything I had ever heard. It made me want to move with the staccato bass rhythms the pianist was adding. My traitor knees were moving to the rhythm and I quickly stilled my leg. The last thing anyone wanted to see today would be my ungraceful dance steps.
"Shall we go see?" Alice asked.
I nodded eagerly, anxious to see who was reworking the classics in such an intriguing manner.
I hadn't been past the large main staircase last night, so I had to follow Alice into the solarium where the piano music was coming from. We walked quietly into the room, surprised not to see anyone except the lone pianist there. Alice continued into the room, intrigued by the boy behind the piano but I froze.
The young man sitting behind the piano was like nothing I had ever seen before. The light from the window wall behind him came in in golden shafts that seemed to set his hair on fire. It was the most unique shade of bronze. As he played, he kept his eyes closed and a near beatific smile on his face. He moved his upper body in time with the music, his unruly hair falling in and out of his face.
I stepped forward, wanting to get closer to the music. I kept telling myself over and over again it was the music which was drawing me in. I was so focused on the beautiful piano player, I didn't see the plant holders lining the side of the room. My foot caught in one of the holders, causing three of the empty pots to clatter the ground. I followed quickly after.
The music stopped abruptly and too quickly I was being lifted to my feet by a pair of warm hands. I looked up into eyes the color of jade flecked with ebony and gold. They were fascinating in themselves. I had to shake my head in order to clear the haze.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
I nodded, my head feeling light.
"You took quite a spill; are you sure I can't help you to a seat?"
I was never more ungrateful for my propensity to blush. I couldn't help the torrent of red I felt creeping up my neck as I listened to his words and watched his mouth move. I immediately chastised myself for being so immoral as to watch a stranger's mouth move. It was unthinkable. I vaguely recognized that he was still talking and that he had let me go; something within me that I didn't recognize was sad not to feel his too-warm hands on me any longer
"I didn't expect anyone to come in here," he said, running a hand through his hair and smiling. "I was just stealing some time on the baby grand before lunch time. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen are so kind as to let me play whenever I come over."
"And you are?" Alice's voice broke through my hazy thoughts.
"Oh, I'm very sorry. I'm Edward Masen."
"Edward, how nice to meet you!" Alice exclaimed. "Aunt Esme has told us much about you. I'm Alice Swan."
"A pleasure, Alice." He turned back to me and favored me with another crooked smile that made my heart stop for just a second. "You must be Isabella. It's so nice to make your acquaintance."
"Likewise," I stuttered inanely.
Alice took pity on me and grabbed my arm, anchoring me to her. Once in Alice's grasp, I found my head again. Beautiful young men who play piano and go to law school do not seek to court plain, orphaned young women, I admonished myself. It just does not happen in real life. Men such as him court and marry attractive women with whom they have beautiful children and live in stately homes. I reminded myself that to hope for a anything such as that in life would only lead me to disappointment and heartache. It was much more practical to forget Edward, with his tousled copper hair and his deep green eyes before I allowed myself to get hurt.
Lunch was lovely and went by quickly, everyone chatting and exchanging pleasantries. I found myself having difficulty concentrating at times, mostly when Edward was speaking. I sighed inwardly. I would never hear the end of this from my sister, I was sure. The day seemed over all too quickly and I realized that our guests were getting ready to leave. The Masens were the last to leave and to my great surprise, Edward walked directly over to me.
"I hope you don't find it too forward of me to say I am looking forward to tutoring you?"
"No, of course not," I said, thankful to have found my voice after failing so miserably at speaking to him earlier this afternoon. "I appreciate you agreeing to help my sister and me. You must be very busy."
"It's no trouble at all. May I look forward to seeing you in a few days then, Isabella?"
"Bella," I whispered. "I prefer Bella."
He stared at me for a moment and I worried that I shouldn't have corrected him. He then broke out into another smile and my face flushed almost immediately.
"Until Saturday…Bella."
A/N: Enter Edward. :) So, how are you liking Bella now? I know that a few of you had some difficulty connecting with her. I guess that is to be expected; her ideas are thankfully quite foreign to us nowadays. So, I realize I was vague about lunch...that was intentional. I was thinking...it might be fun to hear from Edward, don't you think? Who's up for a little EPOV? Everyone who wants to hear from the bronze haired, piano god, push the review button!
I just wanted let you all know that I will be submitting a one shot to the Fics for Nashville fundraiser along with about 80 other talented authors. All you need to do is donate five dollars or more to one of the approved charities and you will get access to ALL of the stories submitted. This is just our way of thanking you for donating to a charity which needs our help so much. Anything you can give will help.
Thanks so much for reading! ~Jen