A/N: Okay, I lied about the hawt smex. Realized that this fic is only T-rated...?
Anyway, this is chapter 2 for you! And anything anyone doesn't understand or wants to seek clarification, leave it in the review.
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Smile – the way to optimism, the way to cheer others and yourself up
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When Renji exited the room, he breathed a huge sigh of relief.
So glad that he dropped the complaint. If I were to lose my job right here, I'd be screwed!
As Renji went into his own room and picked up his shamisen, he vaguely wondered what it was that caused the noble to change his mind. Or rather, what caused that man to apologize. In fact, he was rather positive that the Kuchiki would be raging about this. The strange thing was, it was rumored that the Kuchiki was someone who would not tolerate anything ruining his family name, especially because they are of nobility, and will not bear anything disgracing their names. After splashing tea onto the noble's face, there would only be punishment awaiting him. Yet...
Renji thought, a lowly commoner of himself, had purposefully spilled tea on a high-class nobleman, yet he had gotten away with it.
Perhaps he just isn't like the other unreasonable noblemen, thought Renji as he slid open the door, and proceeded to take his shamisen out from the box.
"Have you thought of a piece yet?" Renji questioned as he readied his shamisen on his lap and plectrum in his right hand.
"Yes."
Renji waited expectantly. He hoped it was a piece of music he was familiar with.
"'Dance of the Cherry Blossoms', will be fine, would it not?"
Renji smiled a little, knowing that this was a piece famous throughout Seireitei for a long, long time, composed by the great Kyouraku Shunsui. He loved this piece a lot too, and in fact, it was his debut piece for playing shamisen.
The Red Player sat straighter and held the shamisen up by the neck with his left hand, right hand with the plectrum ready. He closed his eyes and pictured a scene of cherry blossoms right in front of him, all flying and scattered about him as he sat under the sakura tree, watching them carried by the breeze to wherever they wanted to go to. All at once, as he leisurely strung the instrument, he felt free, and felt like he could go anywhere he wanted with those sakura petals, pure and beautiful and graceful. This was the first time in such a long time that he began to feel light, as if nothing burdened him, as if nothing mattered to him anymore.
He was, though, aware of the pair of grey eyes that watched him rather intently. He could tell that the other man right now was quite interested in this piece and his playing too. He raised his head a little, as if feeling a petal fall onto his head, gently resting on his forehead, as he slowed down his playing and finally it stopped.
Renji slowly drew his eyes open and lowered his head.
There was clapping right across him.
"Well played," said Byakuya as a ghost of a smile graced his lips.
Somehow, that was the first time Renji felt embarrassed when someone praised him for his skills. He blushed a little and and muttered a 'thanks', and he began to keep his shamisen away. He had to admit, a cold Kuchiki Byakuya was handsome, and a smiling Kuchiki Byakuya was outright breath-taking.
"When did you start the shamisen?" Byakuya asked suddenly.
"Eh? Oh, erm, about 6 years ago. I started playing the koto about 9 years ago...But, I still have a long way to go..." smiled Renji a little as he thought about the years he had been concentrating on his instruments.
When he was around 11, he had begun playing the koto. In fact, he saw someone playing it, and became interested in the instrument. He spoke to Ichigo's dad before regarding playing the koto, since he was living with them and treated like a relative. Isshin more than readily agreed with it, and after 3 years with the koto, Isshin realized that the boy could play very well, even though most of it was self-taught. In fact, Isshin told him that his abilities seemed like natural, and took him to a performing center. Abarai Renji, without knowing his future, embarked on his journey to becoming Seireitei's best koto and shamisen player from then on. At that time when he only learned his koto for 3 years, he became the youngest performer and the favorite of the boss. Since then, he had stayed in this performing center, and now, he was performing to even a few of the most famous people in Seireitei, from billionaires to politicians to other performers.
And his today was thanks to Isshin's agreement on his learning of the instrument koto first. Therefore, he would definitely repay the family back by helping Ichigo to university. That was something he had decided once he began on his performing career.
He then realized that the man in front of him was watching him, as if asking what he was thinking about.
"Ah...sorry for spacing out like that! Was thinking of something..." Renji trailed off as he proceeded to pour tea for the noble and then for his own.
The noble picked his cup of tea up and asked again, "What is it that made you pick up koto?"
"I guess...when I was young I passed by this music shop everyday, and there was also the sound of koto which to me, was extremely pleasant and beautiful to the ears. Everyday, I would stand there for awhile to listen to the koto player. One day, the koto player discovered me and asked if I wanted to play. Of course I agreed, and started from then on. However, because she was a very old lady, after teaching me for only a year, she had passed away. So I went on learning by myself for about another 2 years, and then joined this performing center," explained Renji. He did not even know why he felt so obliged to tell a stranger his life story.
Byakuya, while sipping his tea, quietly listened to the red-head before him, and when Renji was done, he nodded in understanding.
"Indeed, the koto's music is pleasant to the ears. And so is the shamisen."
"Although earlier..." Renji began, but paused, not really wanting to go back to asking about why Byakuya had said that about his playing.
"Go on. You do not have to hesitate."
Renji nodded and went on, "You commented on my playing of the shamisen. I'd like to know if it was really bad or something, because I'll begin performing my shamisen more often too."
There was a short silence, and Renji looked into the dark-haired man's eyes. Those pair of eyes seemed to be hiding something that did not want Renji to know. He knew that the noble probably did not want to say anything. He felt that since they were both complete strangers, it did not make any sense for the Kuchiki to be telling his own stuff. Besides, he was a noble. People born with nobility did not mix with the commoners. They lived differently and communicated only with those of the same blood.
"It is good. Your technique is present, though of course more work can be done to make it better. Otherwise, when one has the flair, one can perform better than they think they can," said Byakuya.
He seems distracted. In fact, he's probably hiding something. Oh well...not like I can get him to talk.
Renji grinned, "Thanks! Yeah, I'll have to work harder on my skills before I can really begin performing. Kuchiki-san, do you play the shamisen too?"
Everything seemed to halt as Byakuya paused in his movements and showed a sign of surprise in his eyes for a fleeting moment, before resuming picking up his teacup again.
"No, I do not. I just merely listen to many shamisen players," said Byakuya emotionlessly as he sipped his tea.
Yup, he IS hiding something there, frowned Renji.
"Then you must like the shamisen a lot, don't you?" inquired Renji.
"Yes. There are many pieces that are fairly enjoyable, and my personal favorite being 'Dance of the Cherry Blossoms'."
"To be truthful, that was my debut piece."
There was a short pause, and Byakuya asked, "Really? If so, it may become even more beautiful if you were to play with the other performers too."
"Yeah, I intend to do so," smiled Renji as he munched on a snack and continued, "except I need to find the right people. Well, that the boss would do it for me."
"Your boss? Oh, the man I was talking to before. In a way, he has become your manager, has he not?"
"Yeah he has! He looks after me lots so...I'm really grateful for him too. Without him, I don't think I'd be sitting here today."
"Well, Abarai-san, if there are other performing opportunities that I can offer, will you take it up?"
Byakuya's question was so sudden that it stumped Renji. What really shocked Renji was Byakuya calling his surname for the first time. Somehow, adressing him like that made him happy. In fact, he felt even more recognized and acknowledged than before.
"O-Of course! I'd be glad! And er, it's alright if you called me Renji. I prefer things that way," grinned Renji. He could finally try to earn more and help Ichigo get to university. Inner Renji did a victory dance, knowing that chances of sending his best friend to university was higher.
"You will not be too tired, will you? There may be a job opportunity coming up the week after the next, seeing as I will hold a major conference. Many famous companies' bosses will attend the conference. You do not really have to worry about speaking to them, as they come from many different countries," Byakuya slowly explained.
"Of course I wouldn't mind that! The more jobs the better, the faster I-!" Renji stopped himself before he revealed anything, and bit his lip. He coughed a little uncomfortably. He did not like to let other people help him with such stuffs, yet he liked helping others with their problems.
"Are you...in need of money?"
Byakuya sounded oddly interested in what Renji was about to say.
"Ah that...No, it's alright. I don't like troubling others what I'm involved in so..."
No, better not trouble other people. It's my own will to help Ichigo.
After hearing Renji, Byakuya nodded and decided to let it go.
"Alright then, I shall inform you again, whether you will perform," said Byakuya as he got up, ready to leave.
Renji also stood and bowed. He went forward to open the door for the noble to leave. "Yeah, I'll be waiting for your news."
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And as promised, Byakuya returned the next day, informing Renji of the details.
"So, I'll just follow instructions and perform eh...But, what do you think is the most suitable? Any specific preferences?" Renji was unsure. Sure, he had been handling performances before, but in front of so many important guests, he wasn't too sure of how to handle the whole atmosphere and take it into his own hands. So far, he had only performed for a few high-class audience, including Kuchiki Byakuya and Aizen Sousuke.
"Anything that allows you to entertain the guests. Though...I allow you to finally perform your shamisen. You have not officially performed in front of many important guests, have you not?"
"No...Only a few have heard of my playing." Renji shook his head.
"If so, this is your opportunity. Get yourself a name, and you can go ahead with more performances," said Byakuya.
"Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity. I'll treasure it."
The Kuchiki nodded.
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The day of the performance at Kuchiki Byakuya's mansion came and went fast. A buffet dinner was served after the conference, and Renji was also invited to join them.
The mansion was located a little bit farther from his performing center, and the noble owned a huge plot of land. It would take quite a bit of time for the carriage to arrive to the mansion entrance. Despite having influence from the Western culture, the mansion still maintained its traditional Japanese-style houses. The gardens were structured the way the rich Japanese lived.
Renji went in a sakura-patterned furisode and bunned his hair up again with a black butterfly pin. He imitated Hinamori's style, and was happy that it turned out fine. He remembered that Kuchiki Byakuya had told him that being simple was the best. For some reason, he agreed completely with those words. He also played his shamisen, and the foreigners really loved it.
"You performed well tonight." A familiar voice rang from behind him.
"Ah, Kuchiki-san! Good evening. Well, I would say tonight was a good performance, but there are definitely more areas to improve on," said Renji humbly. He was not able to take his eyes off what Kuchiki Byakuya was wearing. It was the first time he saw Byakuya wearing a dark suit. It seemed to suit that man completely, so much so that if Renji was a girl, he would have drooled and fainted on the spot.
"It is good enough, and our guests felt intrigued by our country's instrument."
A blond hair, blue-eyed guest approached Renji, smiled warmly and spoke in a completely different language, "That was very well done, Mr. Abarai! I love how the instrument sounds!"
"...Eh?" Facing this sort of situation never occurred to Renji, and thus he was not prepared to answer.
"Thank you very much for watching and appreciating the performance, Mr. Poppy. This instrument is indeed very unique to our country and sounds very beautiful," replied Byakuya.
Renji stared in awe as these two conversed and exchanged views in a completely incomprehensible language. To him, it was like seeing two birds tweeting to each other. The guest finally walked away and he asked Byakuya, "What language was that in...?"
"English. Perhaps you could learn it someday."
"How...many other languages do you know...?" Renji asked, still feeling very amazed at the Kuchiki's capabilities. That man was not only the head of the famous company, but was also of nobility, a gentleman, a handsome man and a gifted man with so many talents. He seemed too perfect.
"As of now, only English, French and Japanese," replied Byakuya smoothly.
"Wow...It must've taken you long to learn all of that eh...Oh! Taiyaki!" Renji was distracted by his favorite snack, taiyaki and went off to take a few of them.
"Also, you must have already been informed of tonight's plans. Your performance has already ended, but you can stay at my mansion for the night as it is getting late. It will be difficult to make arrangements for you to return now. A servant will show you the way to your room. Rest early, Renji." Byakuya said as he turned and left to speak to the other guests.
The red-head blushed a little upon hearing his first name the first time from the noble and almost dropped his precious snack.
Why the heck am I blushing for?! Renji shook his head and decided to get a servant to lead him to retire to his room.
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"Ah...this is a noble's mansion eh...It's like leading a noble's life. Except it's boring..." said Renji to the darkness. It was already midnight and Renji was resting on his futon, but he was getting no sleep. He sighed as he got up and slid open the door. He supposed it was because of the excitement before, of performing in front of these foreigners. This was the first time he had seen such a big conference, with so many blond heads walking about. He did not know what to do when the blond heads smiled so brightly at him, all he did was manage to smile weakly back at them.
In the dead of the night, there was no sound, except for the chirping of crickets. He looked up into the sky and admired the full moon. It seemed so bright that it felt like it was a good time to go for a nightwalk. Right now, the mansion was dimly lit, and nobody was walking about at all. To Renji, he was never bothered by ghosts or anything like that (except for Ichigo, who kept claiming that every corner he turned there would be one), and so went on to walk about.
As he walked on, he saw a large pond with a tiny bridge and a cherry blossom tree nearby. There were very nicely built stone steps on the ground that lead to the bridge, and some vibrant flowers and plants grew beautifully nearby. It was probably very well maintained by the gardener. The sakura tree looked magnificent, and it seemed like it was calling out to Renji as the red-head walked closer to the tree. It was an extremely large cherry blossom tree, with its tree trunk very broad and strong. Its branches stretched a few meters wide and the cherry blossoms seemed to shine brightly. Standing directly under the tree, Renji felt relaxed, and it immediately reminded him of his playing of the shamisen. The tune of the 'Dance of the Cherry Blossoms' came immediately to his mind. Taking in a deep breath, he went forward and gently touched the tree, feeling the calmness seep into him as he relaxed.
He had not realized though, that Byakuya was standing nearby and watching him intently.
He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned immediately. He vaguely heard something like 'Hisana' from behind him and relaxed once again, knowing that it was Kuchiki Byakuya.
Somehow when he saw Byakuya's eyes, he thought they looked distraught and disbelieving for a moment.
"Ah...Kuchiki-san. You haven't turned in? And er, sorry for walking about without your permission. I was just interested in this garden..." Renji apologized. However, he was more interested in hearing what Byakuya had to explain regarding the name that was uttered before. 'Hisana'...was it?
"It is no trouble. Do you...like it?"
There was obvious hesitation in Byakuya's speech. Even Renji, who had not spent that much time with the noble, could tell that the man was hiding something important. But his curiosity really made him want to ask very bad. But then again, it isn't that nice to just ask outright...
"Of course! It's very pretty! You must've spent quite a bit to maintain this place. Somehow standing here, I feel it's extremely calming, like I can sit here for a long period of time and it automatically washes away my worries..." said Renji as he smiled at the tree before him.
There was silence for awhile, and Renji was highly aware of the pair of grey eyes that bore right into his back. There was probably something, something, about Renji that Byakuya could not shake off in any way. And Renji was dying to know. He barely knew anything about the noble, except that he was rich, quite the gentleman, extremely handsome, looks professional in a suit, and likes the shamisen a lot. He hoped that it was not too much to ask Byakuya about this 'Hisana'.
"This place...must hold a lot of sentimental value, doesn't it?" Renji said as he turned to Byakuya.
"Indeed, it does."
"I...er, I heard you mention this...'Hisana' when you app-"
"There is no such thing," replied Byakuya curtly as he proceeded to leave.
"Wait! I...I didn't mean to- wah!" The red-head exclaimed as he tripped on his geta and fell.
He heard something like a sharp gasp, and saw Byakuya approaching him.
"Did you hurt yourself? Did you sprain your ankle?" The dark-haired man asked as he helped Renji up.
The red-head blushed a little at the contact of Byakuya's hands and his own. He was thankful for the darkness that was around them. Right now, that man felt warm, felt very different than he was a minute before. Before this, his curt reply was like a knife mercilessly cutting through everything. However, right now he was gentle and caring, a completely different behavior.
"No, I'm alright. Thanks for your concern," replied Renji as he bit his lip and stood slowly, supported by the noble. I probably sprained it a little bit...but it's probably gonna be alright by tomorrow.
"Let us get you back to your room. I shall get ointment on the way. It is a slight sprain..." Byakuya frowned at the ankle.
"H-How did you know...?"
At this question, Byakuya widened his eyes in surprise, but said nothing and supported Renji back to the red-head's room.
"Sit for the moment. I shall return in a minute," said Byakuya as he left swiftly.
There's something he's really hiding. 'Hisana'...? Who is this person? Sounds like a name a lady would love to have. If he's the type of person to shove people away easily, this person must've been closest to him. His lover? Perhaps his wife?
Footsteps were heard and the door was slid open. Byakuya went in with a bottle of ointment and sat beside Renji. He opened the cork of the bottle, stretched out his hand and said, "Your ankle."
"It's no need, really! It'll be alright by tomorrow morning!" Renji refused to let Byakuya help with applying the ointment. The red-head grabbed the blanket and covered over himself.
"Do not be so stubborn, Renji," chided Byakuya. At these words, Renji gave in and stretched his leg and exposed his foot from under the blanket. Gently, Byakuya applied the ointment and rubbed at the ankle. It felt oddly soothing, like the noble's hand was made just for applying ointment to his ankle...
"Who...is this Hisana?" Renji tried.
There was no reply from Byakuya. However, Renji did notice one thing. Despite the darkness, Renji could see and feel the noble's feelings practically radiating from the man himself. He knew at once; the averted and distracted grey eyes, the slowing down of actions, the very slight slouch of the shoulders. They felt like signs of defeat, perhaps to the point of sadness. Renji knew at once that this 'Hisana' must have been an extremely important, possibly irreplaceable person in Kuchiki Byakuya's life.
Byakuya hesitated, before finally answering, "Hisana...is my late wife."
At this reply, Renji was quiet. It was hard to say anything to this, especially because his wife had died. Ah shit. I just dug my own grave by asking him something sensitive!
"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to."
"No, it is alright," replied Byakuya. It was obvious that the noble did not want to continue speaking about this anymore, judging the heavy atmosphere of the room.
"Then, how did you know I sprained my leg...?" Renji was curious. There was no way Byakuya would know before that man even checked his leg.
"It was the exact same spot she stood where she sprained her leg," explained Byakuya as he stopped rubbing the ointment and capped the bottle back.
"Ah...hah...Deja vu...?" So it goes back around to her again. Damn it, and I shouldn't even be leading the topic back to her!
"It should not hurt as much, and it should heal by tomorrow. Have a good night." The Kuchiki's tone was dead and emotionless as he left the room quickly.
"Good...night..." Renji frowned as the man left quickly. Now, he felt bad for making the other man think about the past. It must have been an extremely painful thing to lose his beloved...
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Kuchiki Byakuya closed his eyes and sighed as he thought about the conversation earlier with Renji.
How could I have been so careless as to reveal Hisana to a complete stranger?
He turned to the other side of his futon and touched the very spot his deceased wife once laid. He could still see Hisana smiling very beautifully at him, telling him that she would be "fine no matter what". In the end, it turned out that she had been lying to him for five years straight. Her weak body could not last long, especially because she kept relentlessly searching for her sister all by herself. She felt guilt and sadness for leaving behind her only kin for her own survival. She felt she was selfish for caring for only herself, and she felt that she had never spared a thought for her own sister. All of that constant self-blame caused her spirits to only dampen, and gradually she felt weaker and had no appetite.
All of that, Byakuya knew. He knew that she was feeling extremely guilty about her own actions. He knew she was suffering internally, yet he could not do anything to save her. He regretted letting her do things all on her own, and regretted not caring for her enough. He regretted not being there for her.
He then fell asleep with the dream of Hisana's smile. However, it strangely was not on Hisana herself, but on someone else's face.
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Renji woke up the next morning, feeling refreshed and more than ready to return to work. He stretched as he folded the futon back and placed it back in the corner.
True, nobles live in such a large home. But it feels oddly empty and...almost too sad to be in here, thought Renji as he left the room and slid the door closed.
Instead of properly wearing the sakura-patterned furisode, he had it folded properly and asked the servants to pack it so that he could bring it back along with his shamisen. Somehow, he wanted to have another look at the beautiful sakura tree in the garden before he left, and proceeded towards the garden where he went last night.
Last night was too dark anyway. Today it should look more...Kuchiki-san? Renji raised his eyebrows a little at seeing the noble standing right in front of the tree and had a hand placed on the bark of the tree. No surprise anyway. This place is his home...
"Mornin' Kuchiki-san," said Renji with a light bow.
"Good morning, Renji," greeted Byakuya without turning over.
"Still thinking about...?" The red-head asked uncomfortably. He knew the noble was obviously thinking about his late wife. That man had the look on his face, the exact same look from last night. It worried Renji, as well as making the red-head feel apologetic about what he had just brought up again. Then again, this is something painful, yet he still has to face it...
"Yes," sighed Byakuya. Renji widened his eyes upon hearing the defeated tone coming from a noble. Right now, the noble looked fragile and forlorn, like he had not had proper sleep for some time. The noble's eyes, for the first time, were downcast and greyer than ever. There was the slight creasing of eyebrows, indicating that he was worried, frustrated and possibly regretful.
Renji, without really knowing what he should do, slowly stretched his hand out and wanted to place it on Byakuya's shoulder to somehow reassure him. However, he felt it was odd- that it was strange and he did not understand. This strong urge to help his noble was not going away right now, and he felt that if he could do something to alleviate the pain of losing someone, he did not mind right now. Therefore, slowly but surely, he placed his hand on the noble's shoulder, half expecting the noble to shrug it off and tell him off, but the dark-haired man did not. Instead, said man removed his own hand from the bark of the tree and turned a little, allowing a slight smile to grace his face and a soft 'thank you' to escape his lips.
Renji felt even more mesmerized than ever. If such a sad smile could make the older man so beautiful, a genuine smile would do wonders on that man then. Renji wished that the man would smile more, and smile happily. Byakuya looked strong on the surface, but yet Renji could see that deep down the man was emotional and had always tried so hard to hide his emotions.
However, today, Renji knew. He knew that the man did not want others to know about his problems and emotions because he felt there was no need to share it and that there was no need to trouble others. Renji could see that, because the red-head himself used to be like this. He used to keep things to himself, especially the loss of his friends and the loss of his best friend during his childhood. He refused to say anything, but later he had learned that being open was a better choice. Allowing Ichigo and his family to know about his condition was important, because he felt they had the right to know, and it was better to let things out. There would be people to understand him, and there would be people to help him. It was much better to let things out than to keep them.
"You're welcome," smiled Renji.
That smile...Byakuya blinked at the other's face.
"Ah, I think it's time for me to get back first. I have a performance later today. If you're passing by, you could come in much later. It ends during late evening. I'm leaving now!" Renji said as he left quickly to the carriage that was specially prepared for him and left Byakuya standing under the sakura tree, staring at his retreating back, still thinking about the smile.
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A/N: I apologize for the previous mistakes I made in my first chapter. I didn't read my piece of work properly and just posted the chapter. I guess when I'm done with this story, I'm going to re-post the problematic chapters. Please do let me know of the big mistakes.
Otherwise, this chapter, I thought, was fair. I wanted people to see more of Renji's side, and also a little of Byakuya, thus the tiny little section for his part.
Again, please do read and review! I really appreciate it if people tell me what's good and what's not.