Chapter 2: In Which Girl Squad Takes on a New Meaning
Word travels fast at Hogwarts, and by breakfast the next day, it seemed like the whole school knew Hermione's not-so-secret. No less than four owls had deposited notes from admirers around the school before Hermione had even poured her pumpkin juice.
"Thanks for being brave," one from a chummy Hufflepuff read, "Owl my older sister," read another from a fourth year Ravenclaw she had tutored, it also contained a chic London address and a charm that levitated heart shaped bubbles around the reader's head.
"Oh...get...OFF!" Hermione swatted at them with the growing pile of messages, popping them in a cloud of pink and sky blue. She sighed. How did people do this? Maybe the newness would wear off and she could get back to her life without the entirety of the school trying to set her up.
"This one looks rather good," floated over a familiar voice. Luna waved a black envelope. "Mind if I open some?" Hermione shook her head, the pile was slowly growing as more owls swooped around. "Though...why are there a pair of scissors drawn on this card...oh." Luna turned pink and handed the suggestive envelope off to Hermione. All it contained was a hand-drawn map to a room near the dungeons and a silver lipstick print.
"Subtle. If you go meet this girl, you should probably have some backup. I'm sensing a Slytherin prank," giggled a voice from behind her. Hermione jumped, and locked eyes with Ginny. How long had she been there? Remembering the "spell" that Ron had cast the previous evening, Hermione cast her eyes back to the letter.
"Hi Gin, I didn't see you there, when did you come in?" Hermione muttered into the parchment. Ginny shrugged, seemingly unperturbed and hiked her red and gold Quidditch robes up off the ground and perched next to Hermione on the bench.
"You were distracted with fan mail, I've been here since the pink heart bubbles. Why don't you chuck all this, people send the oddest stuff. I would hate for you to get bubotuber pus again…" She trailed off with a shudder and began collecting the opened envelopes and scrolls.
"She makes an excellent point," Luna peered over a long scroll that had been neatly tied with a red ribbon. "This young lady seems to be rather perturbed by your coming out to everyone. Apparently, you were supposed to tell her first, as she's thought you were brilliant from day one. Well written, nice handwriting, I feel an air of energy about this one." Ginny snorted and grabbed the scroll.
"Dear Hermione, how dare you. How dare you tell everyone before me, you nearsighted ninny you! I have thought you were a catch since day one, and have you noticed me? Apparently not, or maybe you would have made a move. Perhaps you think I wouldn't want you, how little you know, despite knowing so very much about everything, it's maddening! I can't take it anymore, and now that you're out, you had better believe I am going to be your girl. See you at the match today, I'll be winning the game for you. Come by the victory party, I'll leave you a surprise. Frustrated hugs and (hopefully) kisses, Your Secret Admirer."
Hermione blinked, taken aback. Secret Admirer? Her stomach swooped, and her mouth dried, an odd sensation. It had to be a prank, did people not have enough homework assigned that they had all this spare time to annoy her? She made a mental note to mention it at the end of McGonagall's lesson later that day.
"What a bit of silliness. I've never had a secret admirer." Hermione busied herself with a small gold envelope, the last one in the pile. "I am so...tired...of being the butt of everyone's jokes!" She ripped the paper, and a small parchment tumbled out. In loopy handwriting it read, "Your presence is requested in the Headmaster's office following breakfast. The password is Merengue. Signed, APWBD"
"Dumbledore's office? Must be serious. Probably something to do with the new infestation of Worb Beetles…" Luna trailed off. "Oh! I have to go, I'll be late for Potions. Meet you and Parvati at the match later, okay Hermione?" She waved and ebbed into the crowd of students toward the doors of the Great Hall.
"She seems to be taking all of…" Ginny gestured to the pile of parchment, "this in stride." Hermione wriggled in her seat.
"Well...she kind of...well...she already knew!" Ginny frowned.
"You told Luna but not me? You know...if I had known earlier, I could have proposed this earlier…" she scooted closer to Hermione and leaned in. Hermione's heart started pounding in her chest, smacking a tattoo against her ribs. Ginny's lips were smooth and a bit full on the bottom, one lone freckle spotted the left curve of her smile, winding up to her nose...Stop thinking about her lips, stop it now, she's Ron's sister!
"Er, Gin...you're a bit close…" Hermione backed up a bit. Ginny laughed, it echoed like bells. "That spell last night...it was fake, you know that right? There's no possible way it would make you feel...and I wouldn't resort to...I mean...uh…" she managed to sputter out.
"Don't be silly, 'Mione! I know that...I know you would never use magic to get a date...but you know who doesn't and spent the night in the library?" Ginny laughed again, tossing her veritable mane of ginger hair over her shoulder. Hermione shook her head at her friend.
"You're going to have to enlighten me, I think I'm the only one that ever does that…"
"RON AND HARRY!" Ginny squealed, kicking her legs girlishly. "They have it in their heads that I'm positively smitten and it's making their heads explode. I think they've endured enough pain, I was planning on telling them it had no effect when they get their sleepy bums to breakfast…" She surveyed the room as a wicked thought came into Hermione's head. It was definitely wrong. Most assuredly. No question. She cleared her throat.
"You know, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to…"
"Let them keep thinking it worked?" Ginny spit out, before Hermione could say it herself. Ginny's face suddenly matched her Quidditch robes. She continued innocently, "Think about it...we could kill two birds with one stone, the boys would be absolutely mad...and your secret admirer wouldn't be able to stand it, she would have to come out of the woodwork! Ron will be so distracted with us, he won't have time to get a date, and you'll win the bet!" Hermione laughed nervously as Ginny grinned widely at her.
"I guess...I would like to know who sent this scroll, but I would hate for you to feel used…" Hermione was interrupted by two loud flops next to her. Harry and Ron had deposited themselves at the table, bleary eyed, and Ron had imprints of ink on his cheek. He had clearly fallen asleep on a book for the first time in his life. The girls dissolved into laughter as the boys sleepily busied themselves with porridge.
"No funny business now, sis." choked out Ron thickly, his voice still deep from recent sleep. Ginny winked cheekily at Hermione, planted a swift peck on her cheek and swept away, a tornado of ruby and gilt. A groan rose from both Harry and Ron. Hermione smiled to herself, a blush rising in her cheeks. This was definitely going to be fun.