AN/ I want every odd chapter to bring a statement 3rd person point-of-view thing, and every even to be how they actually feel, in 3rd person. I dont know how this will turn out, so it's an adventure for the both of us here. I genuinely prefer first person, if you can't tell by the excessive descriptive words. Leave your thoughts afterwards :) Adios!
Not if she couldn't do it to the blonde
She was just fine with that too.
Or at least, she tried to convince herself.
What they didn't see about Satan, was her insides. She scared everyone shitless, terrified them until they left her personal life alone, threatened the curiosity out of anyone who thought about her feelings.
That was how she liked it. At least, she thought so.
Inside, the horror known as Satan was alone, confused, scared even. Yes, I went there. All these things she showed, were the opposite of her insides.
She didn't use the dolls like the other kids, and they laughed at her.
She didn't know why her dad threatened her, but she learned not to question quickly.
She didn't care to be on top, but her abuela scolded her laziness; demanded that Satan do something to make her proud.
By high school, she was normal.
She played with her dolls; the students.
She learned not to question the system, only threaten it.
And she verbally beheaded anyone that dared to displease her abuela.
Simple.
But, what absolutely no one saw, was her broken heart.
Satan didn't want to be the victim anymore, she was too scared that people would discover her secret, and in turn,destroy her life. She was too scared that someone would find her weakness, and embarrass her,AGAIN.
She was scared she'd end up a lima loser, like her father said.
She was confused that her father said no,but mother said yes. She was confused as to why not one person really tried to get to know her.
She was confused as to why nothing impressed her abuela, who she did everything for.
Satan didn't understand how even in Glee club, the loserville of losers, she couldn't get a willing buddy.
That was what her family called her; a loser.
All Satan actually wanted, was to be resected equally. To have the standard group of friends who roam hallways, and go out in the weekend.
She wanted to make her abuela proud, like a normal child could. She'd get straight A's and not a glance from her. She wanted to be supported by friends and family, to achieve something, and have their supprt. She wanted her father to just leave again, like he did all those year ago.
She wanted his negativity to leave with him too:her mother was starting to get short tempered.
Satan, the devil, wanted to have a passion that others applaused. She'd sing her heart out in her room, and all that she'd recieve was a yell to shut up.
She'd put everything int some lyrics, and find them all grubby when she got home. She'd grab her mic,and find a chunk was missing. She'd find her amp gone, sold.
All she wanted was to perform.
To get an applause. A real one. To be envied.
To be loved.
She also wanted the blonde to stop avoiding her. To stop purposely turning away from her eyes.
To actually look at the sincerity in them.
Not that she'd admit any of this to anyone.
It scared her too much to open herself up so much, and risk being ripped apart again. Girls say their daddies are the only men they can rely on; they were wrong. She couldn't let mere students do that to her.
It'd be way too much.
And if anyone heard a peep about how she sings out her emotions, she'd be buried six feet under.
If anyone found out she regretted sending all these students to hospital, scaring people away from her, threatening any possible friendship away; they'd call her a fake.
A softie.
Satan, was not soft.
Satan was a badass.
But Santana wasn't.