I'm not really happy with this chapter but exams are coming up and I thought I should post something before I get bogged down in revision. Your opinions would be greatly appreciated, as would any suggestions/plot bunnies for Sirius' stories! Oh, and the characters still don't belong to me!

There were a few moments of ice cream eating silence and then a yelp of pain from Sirius as Tonks rapped him on the back of his hand with her spoon.

"We had a deal," Tonks reminded her cousin, "Stories for ice cream."

"I can't eat and talk at the same time." Sirius pointed out taking another large spoonful of ice cream.

"True." Ginny agreed pulling the tub back to their side of the table. "So talk and then you can eat."

Sirius pouted, then changed his mind and tried his puppy dog eyes on the three witches. Unfortunately, the trials of auror training, growing up with six brothers and five years trying to prevent his godson from getting into too much trouble had apparently made them immune to his charms. Deciding that discretion was the better part of valour Sirius mentally ran through the more embarrassing romantic entanglements that had been suffered by the Marauders during their school days. There was 'The Broom-Cupboard Incident', 'The Valentine's Catastrophe' and various episodes in 'James' epic quest to sabotage all of Lily's relationships', not forgetting 'That time Remus made a complete arse of himself with that hufflepuff girl' but as amusing as they all were, they didn't quite seem to fit the bill. He needed a story that would endear him to the three witches, that would make them laugh and that most importantly would guarantee him more ice cream.

After a moment's thought he grinned. Self deprecation was good, right? Well in that case, he had the perfect story…

"Moony! Prongs! Help!"

"No."

"Sorry, Pads… "

"Guys! You have to hide me!"

"No."

"Sorry, Padfoot!"

"Some friends you are!"

"Well, in fairness you did have it coming…"

"Moony has a point. Girls don't take very well to that sort of thing. I mean even Wormtail knows that!"

"I didn't think they'd take it quite this seriously!"

"No, Padfoot," Remus said carefully from over the top of his book. "You didn't think you'd get caught."

"And that…"

"Play with fire Pads and you're going to get burnt!"

"Says the man repeatedly on the wrong end of Lily Evans' wand!"

James Potter opened his mouth to retort when the sound of angry female voices filtered up the stairs to their dormitory. Sirius yelped and dived under Remus' bed. Remus sighed heavily, put his book to one side and peered over the end of the bed at the big black dog that was currently cowering underneath it.

"Sirius, this is ridiculous!"

The dog whined pitifully.

"You can't hide from them forever."

Padfoot put on his best puppy dog eyes.

Remus threw his arms up in frustration and collapsed back on to the bed. "Have it your way!" He grumbled, going back to his book.

James hid his grin behind a previously unopened textbook as the dormitory door slammed open to reveal three very unhappy, young, ladies.

"Where is he?" The brunette demanded.

"Under the bed." Remus replied not looking up from his book. James smothered a snort of laughter. There was a desperate whine from under the bed.

The red-head knelt down and peered under the bed. "No he isn't! There's just this dog!"

"I thought you meant the dog." Remus said still not looking up from his book. "If it's Sirius you're after, I don't know where he is."

"Are we even allowed dogs?" The blonde asked curiously.

"No idea." Remus shrugged. "It's Sirius' dog."

James looked up suddenly from the textbook he was hiding behind, a mischievous glint in his eye. "You know that dog loves being cuddled and looked after. Sirius has kind of been neglecting it lately. I'm sure he'd absolutely love it if you took care of Pads for the afternoon, maybe dressed him up in pink ribbons or such…"

The three girls exchanged a look grinned and then paused. "Surely it's a bit mean to do that to a poor helpless animal when it's Sirius we want to get back at." The brunette pointed out.

"He's not exactly helpless." Remus noted dryly as the dog growled under the bed.

"Anyway I wasn't suggesting you hurt him, just tidy him up a bit. I'm sure Sirius would appreciate having his big fierce black dog all washed and pinkified…" James explained calmly, trying not to grin.

"Pinkified?" Remus queried, reaching for the dictionary.

"Shut up Moony!" James retorted absently accioing the dictionary to himself before Remus could get his hands on it. "Besides you could always do the same to Sirius once you've practiced on the dog…"

"With friends like you who needs enemies…" The red-head muttered.

"We may be his friends but we also have a sense of fair play… and there's currently more of you than there are of us, what with Sirius not here and Peter in the library…"

"That and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Remus muttered. "A concept Sirius doesn't seem to have grasped yet."

"Well, it's a start at least." The blonde conceded as the red-head reached under the bed and with the brunette's help managed to drag the huge struggling dog out from under it.

"Thanks James!" They chorused as they woman-handled the dog out of the dormitory.

"Oh," The blonde paused at the door. "When you see Sirius tell him he's next!"

James and Remus waited until the door was firmly closed before cracking up into fits of laughter.

"That was very cruel!" Remus admonished when he'd got his breath back.

"Yeah, but he deserved it! Only Sirius could go out with three girls in one night and think he wouldn't get caught."

"For a supposed Marauder, you have a surprisingly chivalrous streak."

"Thank you, Moony!"

"You know you're going to have to watch your back, at least until he gets you for that."

"Yeah," James grinned. "Still, should be worth it!"

It was about midnight when the door slammed open and a creature of black fur and pink ribbon came flying into the dormitory. It bounded across the room and onto the sleeping form of James Potter.

James groaned and sleepily tried to push the huge form off the bed. He stopped his attempts when Padfoot growled warningly. James blinked and forced himself to wake up properly. He took in the sight of the large black dog festooned in pink ribbons and promptly burst out laughing.

"It's not funny Prongs!" Sirius snapped reverting to his human form. James burst into fresh gales of laughter that woke the other two who promptly joined in the laughter.

"What!?" Sirius demanded.

"Your… Your…" James tried to get the words out through his laughing fit; he was having a little trouble breathing. "Your hair!" He finally managed to gasp before collapsing back into laughter.

Cautiously Sirius reached a hand up to his and yelped when he felt fabric tied into his hair; the damn ribbons hadn't disappeared when he'd transformed back!

It was a long time before he could get his supposed friends to stop laughing.

Thankfully, Peter had the sense to take a photo and Remus had the sense to hide it before Sirius could get his hands on it.

There was a worryingly long pause after Sirius finished his story.

"I thought the stories were going to be about Remus." Tonks said finally.

"Or James Potter." Hermione added pedantically, reaching for another spoonful of ice cream.

"Rather than you bragging about your conquests and their consequences," Ginny clarified.

Sirius pouted.

"However," Tonks said slowly. "If you happen to have a copy of that photo lying around we might be willing to let you have some ice cream anyway." The three girls smiled innocently. Sirius glared and then stomped out of the room and up the stairs.

Ten minutes later when the three harpies were howling with laughter at that damn photo Sirius consoled his battered dignity with the fact that at least he was getting to eat some ice cream.