Title: Friends Or More

Author: Crystal

Fandom: The Hollows

Pairing: Ivy/Rachel

Rating: T

Disclaimer: All characters and locations are property of Kim Harrison.

Chapter 2

After extensively weeding the garden I had come back into the house to discover that Ivy had gone to bed. I wasn't really surprised. We don't operate on a human schedule, the exact opposite actually. Now on the way to my mom's all I could think of was Ivy. I was trying to sort out my feelings but there were just so damn many of them! I knew my mom would help. When I pulled up I felt like a weight was taken off of my shoulders.

"Mom?" I called, as I walked into the house.

"In the kitchen Rachel!" She called back cheerily.

I smiled, hearing that she seemed to be having a good day.

" Hey, honey." She said, coming to kiss me on the cheek when I walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, Mom. Are you busy?" I asked, seeing that she had some spelling pots out.

" I always have time for you sweetheart. You look upset. Is everything ok?" she asked gently.

"I'm fine. I've just been thinking about stuff." I said, with a noncommittal smile knowing that she knew there was something more.

" Sit down here and talk to me." She said, looking more concerned than curious.

I pulled one of the worn kitchen chairs out from the table and folded myself up into it. Tugging my knees to my chin, I looked down at the table trying to avoid eye contact during the latest installment of the drama that is my life. " I think that I have made a mistake and I don't know what to do about it. I think that I may love Ivy more than a friend Mom, and it scares the hell out of me!"

After a moment of silence I looked up fully expecting to see a look of horror on my mother's face. What I found was my mother trying to fight a sudden bout of laughter.

" What is so damn funny?" I demanded, my face warming in chagrin.

" I thought that this was a new problem in your life, honey." She said, with a slight giggle. "Don't tell me that you never noticed the way that you act around Ivy. It's not much different than she acts around you." She finished, as though I should know exactly what she was talking about.

Seeing the confusion in my eyes at what she said, she decided to approach it from a different angle. "Who is the one person in the world, that you know without a shadow of a doubt, would be there to protect you from anything that life can throw at you? No matter what position that may put her in?"

"Ivy." I said softly.

"Who is the one person that if you were falling apart, she would know exactly how to put you together again, no matter what that did to her?" she prodded.

"Ivy." I answered again.

"Lastly, who is the one person other than me, that you know loves you for who you are, no ifs ands or buts about it?"

" Ivy." I answered for the third time. "I already knew all of that Mom!" I said petulantly.

" Then what is the problem?" She asked, seeming genuinely befuddled.

" Ivy is my best friend. I have a really bad record in the relationship arena. What if I mess this one up too? How could I live knowing that we couldn't go back to the way that things are now?" I asked, as tears started burning my eyes. "The problem is that I love her so much that I am afraid to change the way things are. I cant lose her completely! I don't know how I would survive!"

My Mom pushed her chair out as she rose, coming around the table to hug me. "Rachel, some things are worth the risk. The real question that you need to ask yourself is whether you can live with yourself if you don't try?"

Gently taking my chin in her hands, she turned my face to her and looked into my now tear filled eyes. "Go home and talk to Ivy! She deserves to know how you really feel Rachel." With a gentle kiss to the forehead, she turned to the counter to go back to the spell she had been stirring when I came in.

I pushed my own chair out from the table and came up behind her and hugged her. "Thank you, Mom." I said softly, releasing her as I turned to leave.

Once in my car again, my thoughts turned back to Ivy. My mom was right about so many things and those were just the things that she knew about. Ivy is my home, she is what grounds me and makes me feel secure and cared about. The more that I thought about it the more nervous I became! Before I knew it I was home, not remembering the drive.

After I had parked my car in the carport I slowly made my way to the front of the church, steeling my resolve a little more with every step that I took. Walking in the door, I heard voices coming from the kitchen and headed that way. When I walked in I was surprised to find a woman wrapping herself around Ivy. Not just any woman this woman was drop dead, drool on yourself gorgeous.

Seeing me come in, Ivy dropped her arms and blushed slightly. "Hey, Rachel." She said softly. "This is Loren. Loren this is Rachel."

Trying to restart my heart I took two steps into the kitchen, rubbing my sweating palms on my jeans. " Hey. What's up?", was my clever retort as I walked over to shake the woman's hand. Knowing that Ivy could smell that this was upsetting me, I decided that I had to find a way to leave the room.

"It's nice to meet you." Loren said softly.

"Nice to meet you too." I replied with a forced enthusiasm.

" We were getting ready to go grab some dinner. Do you want to come?" Ivy broke in knowing that I was upset and trying to capture my eyes with her own.

" No, I can't, have some spells that I have to catch up on." That would sound reasonable enough.

" Ok, we can go grab some take-out and you can spell while we eat." She said, with forced lightness.

" That's ok, I'm not hungry, you guys go ahead I'll just take a rain check." I said, finally locking eyes with her for a brief second before turning away again. "I'll just stir these spells and get some rest.", curl up into a ball and cry myself into oblivion, I finished silently while I faked a nice long yawn.

"Can you go wait for me in the sanctuary? I will be right there." She purred to Loren.

" Sure." She said, looking back and forth between us before exiting the room.

" Ok, Rachel, what in the hell is your problem?" she growled angrily.

" Nothing Ivy. Why does something have to be wrong just because I don't want to go to dinner?" I asked, starting to get aggravated.

" You seem to forget that I can smell when you get your panties in a wad, Rachel. I know when something is bothering you and it is perfectly clear that something is. So what is it?"

" I don't want to talk about It, Ivy. This really isn't the time and my panties are just fine thank you " I said turning away from her as tears threatened to overflow from my eyes. " You have a date. Don't keep her waiting." Fighting to put some fervor in my words to stop it from shaking.

"Fine, Rachel! I will be home around sunrise." She said. With a loud exasperated sigh she was gone from the room .

When I heard the front door of the church close, I allowed myself to slide slowly to the floor in front of the sink. The tears falling from my eyes were warm and constant on my cheeks. A few minutes later the clutter of pixie wings alerted me that Jenks had come in. Seeing me in my state on the floor he began circling very quickly, making my dizzy when I tried to watch him.

"Rachel!" He shouted " Are you okay? What happened?" His voice was approaching ultrasonic with his alarm.

"I'm ok ,Jenks. Stupid, but ok. Alone but ok. absolutely miserable, but ok." I cried gently knowing that even though my words were mere whispers he could hear them.

" What in Tink's contractual hell is going on then? It smells like pissed off vamp in here. What did you do?" He chided.

" To Ivy, nothing. She was mad that I didn't want to go to dinner with her and the supermodel that was all over her when I walked in ." I answered.

" So, what's wrong with you?" he asked.

" I'm in love with Ivy. I finally realized it, then I come home to talk to her about it and she wants to take me with her on her date. I'm too late and there is nothing that I can do about it. She was smiling and seemed happy until I made her mad."

"Rachel, Ivy still loves you. I'm sure if you talk to her you two can work it out." He encouraged.

"I can't, Jenks. I have to let her be happy. She has been torturing herself for so long being this close to me, knowing that I wouldn't go any farther. Now that I will, it's too late! If there is even a possibility for her to be happy I will not tell her how I feel." I said as I rose from the floor.

"Rachel, you need to trust me on this and talk to her." He said.

"I just can't, Jenks. I cant have hurt her too much already. She deserves to be happy." I sobbed. "I've got to get out of here. I'm going out for a while, I'll be home by sunrise." I said quickly as I ran out of the kitchen, grabbing my keys and purse as I went. I needed to blow off some steam. Getting in the car, I wasn't sure where I was going but I guess I will find out when I get there. I needed not to think. I needed to forget about Ivy, for a few hours at least.