Clod on the Run
Chapter 2: Suffragette Beach City
The Guardians of the Galaxy were zooming through the galaxy for their newest job. They were hired by Yellow and Blue Diamond of the Gem Homeworld to hunt down a traitorous Peridot on Earth. Star-Lord was flying their ship while jamming out to Brandy (You're a Fine Girl) by Looking Glass, Rocket was preparing his surplus of weapons for an eventual battle, Drax was giving Groot a trim and Gamora was just sitting quietly. "Hey G, what's up?" Star-Lord said turning around to his emerald crewmate. "You've been pretty quiet lately since we met the Diamonds, but I guess that's pretty normal for you."
Gamora could only groan as she finally spoke. "Do you really want to know guys?" All of the others were curious. "Come on Gamora, we are your friends." Drax said. "I am Groot." Groot added. "Yeah, what they said!" Star-Lord replied. "Alright, you got me." Gamora stated. "I've actually met one of the Diamonds." The gang could believe what they just heard. "It was before I met all of you, when I was one of Thanos' minions."
"Lord Thanos, we are approaching Earth as we speak." a grey-skinned alien in a black cloak announced to his master. He was Corvus Glaive, member of the Black Order and right hand man of Thanos the Mad Titan. The titan in question was a muscular, intimidating purple alien clad in blue and gold clothing.
"Very good Corvus." the overlord thanked his minion. "I wish to speak with the Diamond controlling this planet and see if the Authority is willing to ally with me."
"Thanos came to Earth seeking to gain the Gem Homeworld's trust, but we all know he would've betrayed them." Gamora narrated. By the Mad Titan's side were three humanoid alien warriors. One was Gamora herself while the other two were a blue-skinned woman with prominent cybernetics and a dark-skinned man with piercing blue eyes. They were Nebula and Korath, Gamora's two adopted siblings.
"I want you three on guard in case anyone gets suspicious. In that case, attack and kill anyone who dare try to oppose me." the Dark Lord ordered to his three assassins.
"Yes master." the trio complied. The aliens then touched down on an ancient cloud arena where they came face to face with many Gems of different shapes, sizes, colors and types.
"Do not be alarmed." Nebula announced. "We are here for Pink Diamond."
"Allow me visitors." a Gem stepped forward. She was a tall lanky one with hair twisted into buns and her gemstone on her midsection. "I am Pearl, Pink Diamond's servant." The Pearl extended her hand forward. "I am Thanos of the Titanians. I request an audience with your superior." Thanos introduced himself to Pearl. "Yes sir, right this way."
Pearl led Thanos and his children through a crowd of nervous looking Gems to a large pink palanquin where another Gem clad in pink clothing sat. She was guarded by two other Gems, one with orange skin, white hair & her gemstone for a nose and the other was very humanlike in appearance with pink ringlets.
"Salutations visitor." The larger Gem said from her palanquin. "Who are you and what brings you here?"
"Greetings Pink Diamond, I am Thanos of Titan." Thanos greeted Pink Diamond as he stepped forward, bowing while his minions kneeled. "I have come to your planet wishing to form an alliance with the Great Diamond Authority." Pink Diamond rose from her palanquin as her two guard followed behind. "Please state your reasoning." the Diamond spoke.
"You see, I have been hunting for six ingots of awesome power known as the Infinity Stones." Thanos explained as he brought up a hologram of the artifacts in question. The Stones were of multiple colors ranging from blue, yellow, red, purple, green and orange. "These stones represent a different part of the universe and when brought together with the Infinity Gauntlet, would grant the user godlike abilities."
All of the Gems present were intrigued by the visitor's proposition, except for the orange guard.
"I don't like this." she said." "You'll probably just betray and shatter us all!" She tried to attack Thanos but was stopped by her companion.
"Jasper, please don't provoke him!" she cried. "No Rose, we have to protect Pink Diamond!"
"Silence orange fool," Thanos ordered Jasper. "Your attitude is like a pouty child! Now remain silent or I will have to end you." Gamora, Nebula, Korath and Corvus pointed their weapons as she shouted "ATTACK!"
The Gems within the arena followed her orders and summoned their weapons. "Very well." Thanos answered as he snapped his fingers, summoning his army of Chitauri, Sakaarans & Deviants and unleashed them on the arena. The battle was long and hard, with many Gems poofed or shattered during the conflict. Eventually Thanos won after he poofed both Rose Quartz and Jasper.
"I am appalled at such disrespect coming from a servants of the Diamonds!" Thanos boomed in disgust as he handed the gemstones to Pearl. "Forget the alliance, I will find the Stones myself." He motioned his assassins to follow him as he departed the arena. "Mark my words Pink Diamond, when I gain ultimate power you will be the first to fall."
"Later on, we received news that Pink Diamond was shattered by one of her own Rose Quartz but Thanos took it as a sign of surrender and remains enemies with Homeworld to this day."
Gamora finished her story as the Guardians sat there completely stunned. "Jesus." Peter said.
"Hey Quill, did you turn on autopilot?" Rocket asked. "I don't know, I thought you did." That's when they all realized they were going to crash. "What did you do you idiot?!" Rocket exclaimed as the ship fell downward, catching on fire in the process. "I don't know, I just got distracted by Gamora's story!"
"Don't even think about using that excuse!" Rocket shouted back.
"My friends, it has been an honor adventuring alongside you." Drax proclaimed. "If I die here, then I will die with all of you by my side!" He then pulled Rocket and Gamora close, hugging them incredibly tightly much to their chagrin. "Let go of me you moron!" Rocket exclaimed as he tried to wriggle out of the destroyer's grasp. "Let my muscles be your shield!"
As the Milano dived closer to the ground, Peter took the wheel and tried to steer them away from their grisly fate, but it was too late.
The Milano was reduced to a pile of scrap metal when it crashed, but luckily nobody died. Peter was the first to awaken.
"Oh geez what a fall." He groaned getting up. "Anyone okay? Raise your hand if your head is still attached." Groot excitedly raised his hand. "I am Groot!" he cheered as he got up. "Yeah, we're still conscious Quill." Rocket said as he popped out of Drax's tight hug. "Looks like Drax's abs did save us after all."
"Yes, my abs are heroes!" Drax shouted as he released Gamora from his grasp. "You know, we could've survived crashing if Peter turned on the autopilot beforehand!" Gamora shouted.
"Hey, don't go blamin' me here G!" Peter said trying to avoid getting in trouble. "Rocket was the one who did it!" Rocket got angry at Quill trying to place the blame on him and pulled out a rocket launcher. "So I'm to blame for your idiocy?" Rocket barked. "Y'know what, screw Peridot! We're taking you back to the Diamonds so you can get jammed into the human zoo when we get the ship fixed!"
Star-Lord then pulled out his laser pistol in retaliation. "Not if I bring you in first!" The two aimed their weapons at each other when Groot tried to break up the fight.
"I am Groot, I am Groot!" The tree exclaimed as he pushed the two away from one another. Rocket sighed. "Groot's right, kickin' each others asses wouldn't help us get rich." He then put away his rocket launcher and tried to apologize. "Sorry for lashing out Pete, I guess we were both the idiots here."
"Apology accepted Rocket." Peter said ruffling his fur. "Now where can we find some new parts for the Milano?" Groot then pointed towards what looked like a barn in the distance. "I am Groot!" he said. "That'll do." Star-Lord said.
The group made their way to the barn, which looked much different from the typical barn. There was a silo jutting out the side, a pickup truck above the entrance with a TV in the back and a small pool near it. "Oy, what a dump." Rocket said looking at it. "I mean, this place looks like a hodgepodge of useless crap!"
Everybody else was quick to agree as they went inside when suddenly they were attacked by several armed drones, but Rocket shot them all down. In the barn, they were met with what seemed to look like art like a broken tape recorded with a bow on it, a simple leaf taped to a rock and a lineup of toilets. "Is anyone here?" Drax asked around.
"Hey guys check it out, it's a bunch of toilets!" Star-Lord called pointing at the toilets, laughing. "Very cheeky Quill, but we need to find a way to search for our target." Rocket said examining the silo that was turned into a makeshift aquarium. There weren't any fish except for a green alien creature with white stuff coming out of a hole in its neck. "Hate to be that guy. Wonder what happened to him."
"Hey everyone, I found a vehicle that can get us somewhere!" Gamora called from outside. The other Guardians rushed outside to find her driving a tractor and not doing so good.
"It may be slow, but it'll do." she said. "I like your idea Gamora, but it's gonna need a few modifications." Rocket stated. "Groot, do we have any spare parts from the Milano that haven't been destroyed in the crash?" Groot immediately saluted and charged towards the wreckage.
"Heh, dis gonna be a cakewalk." the animal smirked as he placed his hands behind his head. "Oh, are we having cake?" Drax asked.
The Guardians were now on their way to their destination on the tractor, which was now souped up with a turbo engine. They were zooming through the highway, past a pizza-themed car with a few teenagers driving it.
"What'd I tells ya gang, this gonna be a piece of cake!" Rocket exclaimed as the wind rushed through his fur. "You said there was cake, but I don't see anything!" Drax shouted. "I'll explain later Drax, right after we become rich!" Rocket replied.
Suddenly, the engine broke down and the gang were stuck in front of a sign. "I thought the turbo engine was intact when we crashed." Star-Lord said. "But the good news is the sign here must mean something good." The crew got off the tractor and walked around the sign to see that it read 'Welcome to Beach City.'
"Beach City, eh?" Star-Lord said. "Looks like we might have some fun in the sun when we finish our mission." The Guardians then looked forward at the town. It looked pretty standard for a seaside town with a boardwalk and amusement park, but one feature they took notice of was a large hill with a stone hand sticking out the side. "Well guys, let's get cracking."
The Guardians walked through the streets as they got odd looks from the locals wondering why a cowboy was hanging out with a green girl, a shirtless man, a raccoon and a tree. "You think we look out of place here?" Gamora asked.
"I don't know, maybe it's because we look like a bunch of freaks!" Peter exclaimed. "We might be tracked down by the government or become topics of crazy conspiracy theorists!"
"Yeah, especially people like that one." Rocket added pointing to a small child with an onion-like head staring blankly at them. "What're you lookin' at kid? Scram!" The child continued to stare at them until he turned and ran, dropping a map from his pocket along the way. "Well that was oddly convenient." Rocket said as he picked the map and opened it, revealing several locations circled with red marker.
"Okay, listen up folks." Star-Lord announced looking over the map. "We're gonna comb the town for our target and we won't stop until the job is done. Also from now on we'll be using codenames. You can address me as Eagle One." He then gestured towards Drax. "Drax, codename Been There Done That." Then he moved to Gamora. "Gamora is Currently Doing That." After trying to high-five her and failing, he pointed at Groot. "Groot is It Happened Once in a Dream." Finally he pointed towards Rocket who was crossing his fingers. "Rocket is...Eagle Two."
"Oh thank God." Rocket sighed in relief. "So where do we go from here Quill?" He started pointing at various locations on the map.
"How about this," Star-Lord stated. "Groot goes to the donut shop here." Before he could finish, Groot was already charging to the donut shop. "Guess somebody loves donuts."
"Rocket, you go the amusement park." Rocket got a bit excited, wondering about how much junk he could get from there. "Drax, you search the boardwalk and Gamora & I will search the boardwalk. As the legendary Fred Jones once said, let's split up gang!" They all dispersed as a curly-haired woman wearing glasses and a short black man watching them turned towards each other.
"Say, didn't that cowboy look a bit like Danny from Fields and Relaxation?" the woman asked.
Groot had already made his way to the big donut when he noticed the large donut sign that read "Big Donut." Walking inside, he met an orange-skinned teenager with a red mohawk-like haircut and rather peculiar earlobes.
"Welcome to the Big Donut, how can I..." the boy began to speak before realizing that he was speaking to a giant tree thing. "I am Groot." Groot said. "Nice to meet you Groot, I'm Lars." the boy, now named Lars greeted nervously. "I am Groot." Groot replied. "I know that, and I am Lars." Lars answered. The exchanges of "I am Groot" and "I am Lars" went on for a while until a short girl around Lars' age came out of the back door.
"Hey Lars, what's up?" the girl asked. "This guy came in and all he can say is 'I am Groot!'" Lars replied. "Here, let me talk to him." The girl walked up to Groot and began to introduce herself. "Hi there uh...Groot, I'm Sadie." she greeted. "I'm pretty sure you already know about Lars here."
Groot extended his hand to Sadie. "I am Groot." he said shaking her hand. "Hey buddy, can you move outta the way?" a voice asked. When Groot turned around, it was an old man with a mustache and sunglasses talking to him. "Yeah I'm talking to ya Deku Tree, you're holdin' up the line!"
"I am Groot, I am Groot." Groot apologized to the man as he began to walk out of the building, but not before taking notice of several paper bags with "Sadie" written on them and taking one. "Hey wait, those aren't for sale!" Sadie called out as Groot exited. "And he's gone."
"What a weirdo." the old man said. "Now where's my nut dog?" he asked. "Coming right up Mr. Lee." Lars said.
Rocket meanwhile was digging through trash at the Funland Amusement Park. "So this is what these so called 'raccoons' do, just dig through useless garbage?" he asked himself before finding a tin can. "This might be useful." As he lept out of the trash can, he was suddenly hit by a broom.
"Get outta my trash varmint!" the man holding the broom shouted. The man was tall, bald and wore a shirt with various shapes on it. "Who you callin' varmint big boy?" Rocket shouted back.
The man was completely stunned to see a talking raccoon rummaging through his garbage. "Whoa mama!" he shouted. "A talking raccoon?" Rocket was also stunned. "Seriously, the hell's a raccoon?!"
"You see little guy," the man said. "It's what you are. Bushy striped tail, those ears, that mask around your eyes..." Suddenly he was interrupted by the roller coaster beginning to fall apart. "Dang it Onion!" he screamed as he ran towards the ride. "If you hadn't blown up my phone, I would've called your parents by now!"
"Well," Rocket said to himself. "That was weird."
Drax was searching across the boardwalk in search of Peridot, asking various people. He went to the pizza place, the arcade, the fry place and the beach but nobody saw her anywhere. He was about ready to give up and report to his teammates when he heard a small voice.
"Excuse me, have you seen my dog?" the voice asked. Drax looked down to discover that voice belonged to a small green child with triangular hair looking up at him.
"What did you say?" he asked back. "I said, have you seen my dog?" The child was very persistent when asking him. "What does your dog look like little one?"
"My dog is orange, chubby, has little legs and a green tail." the child answered. "I'm sorry, but I do not know about a creature like that." Drax answered much to her dismay. "But if I do find it, I'll come tell you." The child beamed at Drax as she hugged his leg.
"Thanks mister!" she said as she let go and ran off. Drax smiled back at her, as she reminded him of his late daughter Kamaria.
But that's when he realized the child looked very much like the Gem they were searching for. "Wait a minute."
Star-Lord and Gamora were walking through the streets of Beach City looking for someone who might know the Peridot they were hunting.
"Are you sure whoever works at this carwash might know about her?" Gamora asked. "I'm pretty sure." Peter replied. "I mean, there's nothing that can distract us now!" Then ironically enough, he got distracted by the white van that had the words "Mr. Universe" on it and was immediately starstruck.
"Are you alright Pete?" his green compatriot inquired. "Of course I'm alright," Peter shouted. "That's the van of Mr. Universe, pretty much one of the greatest musicians on Earth!"
The two walked up to the van to find a beach bum strumming his guitar when he stopped to notice them. "Oh hey, didn't see you there." he said. "It's not often we get visitors that don't want to destroy Earth." While Peter was still in awe, Gamora on the other hand was very confused. "This is the legendary Mr. Universe?" she wondered pointing to him. "He doesn't look like a star."
"I may not look all that cool now, but I'm still a cool guy to be around." the man said getting up and reaching his hand towards Gamora. "Name's Greg Universe." She reluctantly shook it. Greg tried to get Peter to shake his hand but he was too busy fanboying.
"HI MY NAME IS PETER I'M ONE OF YOUR BIGGEST FANS I REMEMBER WHEN MY MOM TOOK ME TO ONE OF YOUR CONCERTS IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST EXPERIENCES OF MY CHILDHOOD!" he blurted out before fainting.
"I'm sorry about my friend sir." Gamora apologized to Greg. "You see, we came here looking for someone named Peridot. Do you know her?"
"Oh yeah, I do know Peridot." Greg answered. "She's one of Steven's friends who pushed me off a barn roof."
Just then, Peter regained consciousness when hearing about Peridot. "Wait, who's Steven?" he asked. "Steven's my son, a really sweet kid like his mother." Greg replied as he pulled out a picture of him a picture frame of him and a woman with big pink hair who resembled the Gem from Gamora's story. "That's me and her way back when. Her name's Rose Quartz."
Star-Lord got quite curious. "What happened to her?" he asked, which made Greg turn quite dour. "She died giving birth to him." he said. Star-Lord started feeling sorry for him as he already lost his mother when he was a boy. "That's rough buddy." he replied.
"So anyway, we're gonna go now." Gamora interjected grabbing Peter by the shirt collar. "See ya later Greg!" Peter said. "But can you sign my Walkman first?"
Greg was happy to oblige as he pulled out a marker and wrote "To one of my biggest fans, from Mr. Universe" on it. Peter couldn't help but squee as he was dragged away.
"Anything guys?" Rocket asked as the group reassembled at the shore.
"I am Groot!" Groot said happily as he munched on Sadie's bag. "I met a child looking for her dog who resembled our target quite a bit." Drax said. "Quill fanboyed over some hopeless bum who used to be a rockstar from his childhood." Gamora said as Peter continued to stare at his music player.
"I got beaten up by some guy at the park." Rocket said pawing his face. "Face it, it's all a lost cause. Might as well give u-" Suddenly he was interrupted by a weird feeling in his tail followed by barking. "Alright, who did that?" he demanded.
"Don't look at me, it was Drax!" Star-Lord claimed pointing at Drax. "I do not make noises like that, blame Groot!" Drax added. "I am Groot!" Groot exclaimed pointing at Rocket's tail. There was a small orange creature biting it that looked like a cross between a pumpkin and a puppy.
"That's it!" Drax bellowed pointing at the creature. "That's the girl's dog!"
"Wait a minute, what girl?" Rocket said as the child Drax met earlier rushed to Rocket and grabbed the creature. "Pumpkin, I've been searching all over for you!" she shouted as she hugged it. "Lapis, I found Pumpkin!" The Guardians looked up to see a blue figure flying through the sky with wings made of water. When the figure landed, it was actually a blue Gem wearing a blue halter top & skirt with dark blue triangles on them and her teardrop-shaped gemstone on her back.
"Wait, there's more of them? Star-Lord wondered. "Quiet Quill!" Rocket shushed him.
"Thanks for helping us find Pumpkin." Lapis said to Drax. "Peridot told me you would look for him." Rocket's ears started to perk up again. "You're very welcome miss. I suppose you must be her mother." Lapis started to look a little sheepish. "No, just her friend." She then turned around to Peridot. "C'mon Peri, we're supposed to be visiting Steven today."
As the two walked with Pumpkin away from the Guardians, Rocket jumped up and clung to Drax's chest. "YOU IDIOT!" he screamed in his face. "You had the chance to capture her right then & there and you just let her leave?!"
Star-Lord pulled his furry crewmate away from Drax and set him down on the sand. "Hey, no need to start yelling at Drax." he said. "Besides, we need to follow those two. They said something about visiting someone named Steven."
"Wasn't this Steven supposed to be Greg's child?" Gamora asked. "Yeah, maybe he knows those two." Peter replied as he glanced toward Peridot and Lapis. "Now how can we follow them without getting caught?" Just then, they noticed a pink lion walking out from behind the Big Donut.
"Is that a lion?" he wondered as he and the others watched in confusion. "Why is this animal pink?" Drax asked. "Beats me," Rocket answered. "Let's see if it's friendly."
The group walked to the lion as it started looking at them. They all stared at each other for a bit until the lion started scratching Groot, which made him giggle. "Yep, definitely seems friendly." Star-Lord said. "I wonder how fluffy his mane is?" He reached out to pet it when it tried to bite him. "Whoa!" he shouted as he pulled his hand out of the way. That's when he got an idea.
"I have a plan!" he declared. "Oh God no." Rocket moaned, fearing what he had planned.
"We make Rocket pretend he's roadkill, have the lion bring him to those two and then we break in & attack!" Rocket couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Why do I have to be the bait?" he complained as Gamora picked him up. "Why can't we just rip off Groot's arm and pretend it's a tree branch?"
"Didn't you say you wanted to do this job for 5,000 units?" Gamora asked as she stuck her gun-toting chum into the lion's mouth. "Yeah but not like this!" he cried. "Alright, I'll play dead."
"Alright now go to your home." Drax ordered the lion. It obeyed the destroyer's command and raced off, with the Guardians in pursuit.
"I'm really starting to regret stealing those Quartz gems." Rocket moaned as the lion stopped at a beach house sitting beneath a statue of a giant woman with four pairs of arms.
"Hey Lion, what you got there?" the voice of a boy asked as it walked outside to the lion. From what Rocket could see, the boy was roughly around his height with brown curly hair, a pink T-shirt with a star on it, blue jeans and pink sandals. "Is that a raccoon?"
As Rocket was pulled out of the lion's mouth, he tried his best to play dead. "Is he dead Lion?" The lion quietly shook its head. "I'm not sure either, maybe the Gems can help." The boy rushed Rocket inside the beach house as the other Guardians spied on him.
"That small Earth child is the lion's master?" Drax questioned. "It would've eaten him alive by now!"
"No time for questions Drax." Quill said as he got out of their hiding spot and moved to the beach house. "We've got a job to do."
The boy went inside the beach house with Rocket in his arms and laid him on a table. "Guys, come quick!" he called and five females ran to his side. Aside from Lapis and Peridot, the first was Garnet, a Gem with shades and a square afro. With her was Amethyst who was short, purple & had long pale lavender hair and Pearl, a thin white Gem with her gemstone on her forehead.
"Steven, why did you bring that animal into the house?" Pearl asked.
"I don't think it's feeling well." Steven claimed.
"Aw come one Ste-man, it's a raccoon." Amethyst said. "They're bound to play dead."
"Amethyst has a point." Garnet agreed. "Well, let's try my healing spit and see what happens." Steven licked his hand and tried to touch the raccoon with it before it grabbed his hand. The critter was now awake!
"Get your slimy hands offa me twerp!" Rocket shouted. "Wait, it can talk?" Lapis exclaimed.
"Of course I can talk," the furball proclaimed. "There ain't anybody in this universe like me except me!"
Just then, Drax burst through the window armed with his daggers, laughing like a maniac along the way. "You fell for our trap!" he shouted as he got up. He continued laughing as Star-Lord opened the door.
"You know Drax, you could've just kicked down the door." Peter said as he let himself, Gamora and Groot inside. "I know, but jumping through the window is much cooler." the destroyer replied.
"Okay, first the talking raccoon, then the beefy guy breaking the window and now this?" Amethyst exclaimed. "Who are you?" Garnet shouted as her hands turned into gauntlets.
"We're the Guardians of the freakin' Galaxy," Rocket said dusting himself off and joining his team. "And we're here for that Peridot of yours!"
The words Rocket said alone were enough to get Peridot freaking out. "I knew it, Yellow Diamond has come for me!" she screamed as she hid under the table.
"We won't let you take Peridot!" Pearl shouted as she took a spear out of her gemstone, followed by Amethyst summoning a whip and Steven a shield. "Yeah, try and stop us chumps!" Amethyst added.
"Who you callin' chumps shorty? Now it's war!" Rocket exclaimed as he pulled out his laser cannon with Gamora unsheathing her sword, Star-Lord loading his pistols and Groot putting up his fists.
The great battle between the Guardians of the Galaxy and the Crystal Gems has begun.
Thanks for reading everyone! Sorry if it's a bit long, I promise chapter 3 will be a bit shorter. Also, chapter 2 of Fooly Falls is in progress so stay tuned!