I do not own the characters of Neon Genesis Evangelion, nor any other aspects of it. That was only a dream. I hope...
Rated T for some references. Minds you, if you're reading Evangelion fics then chances are you'll not be damaged further by anything I have to say.
Initial Peturbation (MkII)
CHAPTER 2 - Stupid Ass Angel Kicking Day
"Psst. Shinji."
The Third Child looked up from his laptop, sitting at his desk in class. "Asuka?"
"Mmm." she nodded. "I'm bored." she whispered, as quietly as she could across three desks.
He swallowed nervously. "Keep it down, Sensei is hard of hearing but not deaf."
"Yeah but...this worksheet is all in kanji. I don't know what it means!" she hissed in irritation.
"Well, look at the kanji guide...""
"How do I find that?"
"Uh. look at the student homepage..."
She reddened. "How do I get to that?"
"Quiet you two!" Horaki growled quietly.
"But class rep..." Asuka whined, "I need someone to show me how to access this stuff!"
Hikari looked at her before watching to see that the Sensei still hadn't noticed them. She then sent a sharp glare at Shinji. "Ikari, swap with Imahara at lunch time. You can help her more discreetly that way."
Shinji cringed. "Hai, Inchou," he said meekly.
"...pathetic."
He didn't need to look up to tell him who had said that.
Kensuke confronted him just after the bell rang, arms folded across his scrawny chest. "What was that all about?" he asked, pushing his glasses up with a sardonic gaze.
Touji put his arm on Kensuke's shoulder. "I guess he's just fallen deeper into the Devil's vortex. Now he can't even get away from her in class. We shall not forget you, comrade..."
Shinji pushed aida out of his way with his heavily-laden bag, ready to move his stuff. "Shuttup." he grumbled.
The side of Asuka's mouth curled into a sneaky grin as Ikari filled his bag again.
Hikari followed her gaze. "Hmm. Ikari, huh?"
"I'm just impressed. He actually has some friends. Who would ever have thought something as spineless could do that?"
Hikari smiled sadly. "When they met, Touji punched him."
"Inchou!"
The brunette patted her shoulder. "Call me Hikari, hmm?"
"And then they became friends? What is he, some kind of masochist?"
The class representative frowned. "I don't think so...more like, he didn't back down even after being beaten up."
Lifting her hand up, Asuka balled her fist gently with a far away look in her eyes. Hikari looked on understandingly as the redhead contemplated how the friendship must have come about in a way so foreign to her modus operandi.
Unit 02 stood prone on the beach. (All right then. Watch closely Third Child, as I assume a ready posture. Watch carefully when I engage and destroy the Angel.)
The purple unit's aim hunted about. (Hey, wait Asuka! Jeez, how am I supposed to aim with you getting in the way!)
"Asuka! Assume what ever postures you want, but wait for my signal! The MAGI are still analysing the Angel." Misato growled through the comms.
(...damn rookie...) Unit 01's comm crackled quietly.
(WHAT DID YOU SAY! Talk about gratitude to your Sensei!)
The Captain clenched her fists from the command center.
(I've got two solo Angel kills, so why are you my master? Maybe I was just lucky, but I still killed them by myself!)
A barotone voice thundered down to the command center. "SHUT UP. KATSURAGI, CONTROL YOUR PILOTS."
"Yes, sir!" Misato cringed. "CUT IT OUT YOU TWO!"
(Hai!)
(Yeah yeah, fine.)
"Remind me why we need to use teenagers for this?" Ritsuko mumbled, rubbing her temples.
Captain Katsuragi used the moment of quiet to stare at the tactical display, grimacing with disgust. "Damn it, just what's the deal here? Why is that amorphous blob of an angel just sitting on the beach?"
Hyuuga looked up from his post. "Do we know for sure that all Angels are agressive? Perhaps it's here by coincidence?"
Misato folded her arms. "It's not like it just went for a swim and happened to end up next to Tokyo-3. It's here for us. Maya, Any conclusions from the MAGI?"
The young tech let her fingers fly over her console. "Nothing yet. Melchior has a preference to try a physical assault, but we havent acheived a consensus. There's simply not enough data."
Ritsuko nodded. "We can make a few assumptions about it's objectives, but since it's resisted all of our scans we have nothing else to go on."
"How about the way it looks?" Misato asked, scratching her head.
The senior scientist shrugged. "You mean, bizarre? The MAGI are still mulling over the Third Angel's appearance, let alone this one."
"Hmmph..." She shook her hair to the side and looked back at the tactical display. "Asuka, Shinji. You will both approach the target cautiously until you are within twenty meters of the target. You will then execute a simultaneous attack, Asuka with the progressive-spear and Shinji with the palette rifle. Asuka, try to stay out of Shinji's line of fire. Shinji, try to aim for any wounds that Asuka inflicts or other possible vulnerabilities - we're playing this one by ear."
(Yes ma'am!)
(I like it, Misato. Let's go!)
Misato took a deep breath and gave Ritsuko a sideways glance. "Alright. Commence attack."
The two Eva's approached the dormant Angel from their different positions, drawing in towards each other to converge on top of the target. Shinji kept the rifle aimed, side-stepping along while Asuka kept low, hefting her spear back as she stalked her prey.
(Hey Asuka...what are you aiming for?)
(That weird face-mask thing on it's front. I can't even see it's core.)
"Quiet. Concentrate on your target."
The Eva pilots continued to 'inch' along as only a pair of giant robots could.
In the cockpit of Unit 02, Asuka firmed her jaw. 'To hell with this, I need a solo-kill to be credible. That'll put that stupid Colonel in his place.'
At the twenty-five meter mark, Asuka sprang. Raising her spear, she slung it directly at the Angel's center. Even as the spear flew, she grabbed another leg full of momentum and simultaneously drew her progressive knife from her unit's shoulder holster.
(NYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!) came the redhead's battle cry as she closed in to tackle the already impaled mass before her.
Israfel reacted, unsurprisingly, badly to being speared. The split in it's side tore downwards, the two halves morphing into 'arms' which flailed about wildly. One 'arm' caught Unit 02, impacting it with the force of a large chunk of creature several times it's size. Asuka's unit was flung brutally along the beach and into the nearby cliff face. Shinji, having managed to avoid being hit, opened fire at the sizeable gash that had grown down the Angel's torso.
(Asuka?) he yelled as unit 01 was buffeted by kickback from the projectile weapon.
"Shinji! Stay on the target and try to identify it's core!" Misato ordered. "Asuka, what's your status?"
Shini interrupted. (I can't see it's core...is that blood? It...it's doing something...)
(Stupid Angel! Archh, my leg! Grrr, you're going down you ugly butt-monster!)
Misato was transfixed to the image coming from Unit 01's video feed. She listened with horror to Shinji's voice.
(Misato! Help! GUAahhh...) The signal dissolved into static, with the tactical display showing why. Unit 01's leg was grabbed up from the under the swamped Eva before the whole unit was slapped down by the opposite set of pseudo-appendages. Scrabbling for grip, the purple one found itself being flung sea-wards. Unit 02 had gained it's feet in the meantime, and was rushing the Angel in a furious sprint. The Nerv staff cringed when Asuka screeched in pain, her unit having collapsed on it's damaged leg. Again came the Angel's double-whammy, this time sending Unit 02 tumbling lanky-limb over limb onto the hills above. Badly damaged, Asuka trembled from the pain of her unit's feedback, fighting down the shreik trying to get out of her lungs.
"F-bloody hell! Shinji! Asuka! Respond!" Misato demanded, hearing the blood pumping through her head.
"Cutting unit 02's neural link. Feedback was approaching red-limit." said Maya's voice.
"Both pilot's life-signs are okay, but the pilot of unit 01 is unconcious." came Makoto's report.
Hyuuga's voice was a bit distant. "The target's activity has reduced...wait, it's undergoing some form of regeneration!"
The Sub-Commander's voice was audible from above. "It's adapting. Ikari, with the Eva's out of action we don't have much time."
"Indeed. Katsuragi, order the UN to launch three N2 mines at the target immediately."
The young tactical officer closed her eyes briefly, frustrated. "I'll send the request sir."
"It is no request, Captain."
"Are the Eva's at a safe range? Good. Makoto, get me Commander Geoffreys..."
"Unacceptable."
The pronouncement from the Supreme Commander was quiet, but damning.
"Just what did you two think you were playing at? You think this is just a chance for you to show off?" Misato growled.
"But we..."
The Sub-Commander barked ferociously at the assembled pilots. "You wouldn't believe the political FUBAR over this debacle! We'll be lucky to have ANY politicians on-side after this. And where do you think we get the funding to give you two CHILDREN such expensive toys! They COULD be spending it to let people EAT, but instead we're all gambling on YOUR ability to DESTROY THE ANGELS!"
Shinji shuddered. "People are suffering...because of us...?"
Asuka put on a brave face, hiding her feelings with an indifferent shrug. "Just because your tactician's incompetent, sure, blame it on the pilots."
Misato leaned against the debriefing room's table. "I can't honestly say if my tactics would have defeated the Angel, but unfortunately we will never know. Perhaps you were expecting an instant kill? Against an unknown enemy? One which defies the scientific analysis no less? I'm not sure what you studied at university, but you obviously never picked up the maxim, 'know your enemy'." she said in controlled, scathing tones.
"You went to university?" Shinji noted vacantly.
"End result: two Eva's incapacitated, one badly damaged!"
Ritsuko sighed. "The MAGI predict that the Angel will become active again in five days time, after regenerating most of the 47 percent body mass it lost during the bombardment."
"Can't we just hit it again?" Shinji asked sheepishly.
"Just how many N2 mines do you think we can waste on this?" Fuyutski questioned the boy, sarcasm dripping from his words.
Ritsuko gave him a sympathetic look. "There is a rapidly diminishing rate of returns with fighting an Angel with conventional weapons. There is no point in using that approach again." she explained.
The Commander cleared his throat before speaking up. "Katsuragi, get them out of my sight."
"Uh, yes sir. You two, hit the showers. Shinji, get that head-wound double-checked."
"It's okay..."
"I'll judge that." Ritsuko said. "There may be neurological side-effects from the LCL or the A-10 link. Now get going you two."
"Yes ma'am."
"Yeah yeah."
Watching the two leave, Misato faced the Commander. "Sir, I'd like to apologise..."
He cut her off. "Spare me, Captain. The etiquette of failure will neither hinder nor aid your career advancement. I would prefer you to concentrate your efforts on dealing with our enemy. Dismissed."
Misato recoiled, then gave her superior an abortive salute. She then slunk out in silence, her friend Ritsuko in tow.
"You got any warm-packs, Rits? I seem to have a touch of frostbite." the downtrodden tactician said once they'd left the command area.
Dr. Akagi gave her a sly look. "He isn't a petty man. He just doesn't want anyone to waste valuable time kissing his ass when there's a world to save."
"Towing the company line?"
The faux blonde chuckled. "Whatever."
"So, Ritsuko Akagi, my beautiful genius friend. Have the MAGI got any ideas to get me out of this mess?"
"Not yet, they've been too busy trying to figure out if we're all going to be killed quickly or slowly. Even supercomputers have their limits."
"Do the MAGI fear death?"
With is shrug, Ritsuko smiled grimly. "Perhaps. In which case they should be working all the harder to come up with a solution."
"Hmm, I guess so. Well, keep me informed."
"When you're the one in charge of getting us out of this mess? You'll be the first."
"Thanks alot DUMBKOPF!"
Shinji shied away to avoid Asuka's slap as they walked through a corridor on their way to the pilot's changing room. "I...I'm sorry!"
"That's just perfect you know! Oh, the Mighty Third Child went into battle with the Second and he lost for once, must be that stupid GIRL'S fault! What, did seeing me in action mesmerise you or are you just TRYING to make me look stupid!"
He clenched his hand. "It's not like you did any better...!"
"Get out of my face, Third Child. I'm gonna go wash this stupid goo off. They'd better have chocolate ice-cream in the canteen here!"
Shinji watched in downcast relief as the Second raged her way to the girls' lockers. He paused to give her space before also heading to the locker room (which was now subdivided by a cheeky, silhouetting curtain). He was surprised when Rei appeared in her school uniform, headed the other way.
"Ayanami...uh?"
Only then did she seem to register his presence. "What is it, pilot Ikari?"
"Well, uhm...nothing."
She turned to walk away. Shinji quickly asked, "Wait, why are you here? Your Eva is still being repaired, isn't it?"
"I am here as a backup. Unfortunately, neither of the active Units can be piloted at this time."
"Oh...so my father brought you here in case Asuka or I...fail..." he rolled the word on his tongue, appreciating it's bitter ring.
"I can only substitute in emergencies, though the probability of a successful synchronisation with either Unit is low. You cannot be replaced."
Shinji sighed and hung his head. "Right...no-one else can pilot it..."
Rei looked at him curiously. "She is bound to you. It is not something to be sorrowful for."
The boy looked at her in confusion as she left without another word.
Shinji's eyes cracked open a little when the doorbell rang. Dozing lightly on his bed to the melencholy tune playing on his SDAT, he felt disinclined to answer it.
"Shin-chan! Be a darling and get the door?" came a seductively warm voice through his bedroom's doorway.
Well, who was he to ignore a call like that?
He sat up drowsily and took out his earplugs. "Coming..."
"Thanks Shin-chan...I think you're gonna like it...!"
That stopped him in mid-step. 'Uh oh...'
"Hey, what's the hold-up? These delivery guys still have to make another trip!" came a slightly muffled, though piercingly familiar voice.
Shinji bolted to the doorway. Pulling it open, he gawked in shock. "Asuka!"
"Hey! What the hell is he doing here? Are you stalking me, Third Child?"
Misato appeared, her arms crossed smugly. "Now now Asuka, he lives here you know."
"Huh? Wait...oh, right. He might have mentioned that. I didn't realise he was your toy-boy though..."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Misato squawked indignantly.
Asuka raised a sardonic eyebrow toward Misato's short-shorts and wide-necked T-shirt clad body. "So what, you decided to spice things up by having me join in, hmm? Well, in that case...NO WAY! LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR PERVERTED LIVES! Hey, delivery man, take this stuff back down."
"Ignore her." Misato said, staring the poor bloke in the eyes. "Now listen up, Second Child. You are hereby ordered by your Commanding Officer that you are to take up residence in this apartment for the duration of this mission or as deemed necessary, in order to terminate, with extreme predjudice, the Angel that you both so humanely allowed to live yesterday."
Asuka blinked, absorbing the captain's statement. "Uhm...how the hell is me living here going to help send that Angel back to the heavens?"
"Just get your things in here. Shinji, give her a hand with the boxes please?"
"Yes ma'am."
The teen turned up her nose. "Oh, he's house-broken. How sweet. Hey, don't touch that box, get your filthy hands away from it. Baka."
"Wh-what? Why, what's wrong with it?"
"You just can't touch that box, got it dumbkopf? It's got my personal things in it, kapish?"
"Oaahhh...sorry!"
Misato couldn't help but chortle at their antics. "Ha ha, you two are so cute. Shinji, be careful with her naughty box alright."
"Misato!"
"Hah, you're blushing Shin-chan!"
Asuka shrugged. "I only hang out with him because there's no one else I know. Misato, can you help me with this box? Shinji can handle the rest."
"Uhm, where do I put all this stuff?"
He heard Asuka screech, "WHAT THE HELL! Is it...a cat? A bird...!"
"No, it's Super-Penguin. There's my little sweety. Can you believe he helps with the rent?" came Misato's amused reply.
Shinji let out an exhasperated sigh, "Aah!"
Misato smirked from the kitchen, looking through into the next room as Asuka ranted. "So you understand, Third Child, this is only to help us defeat the Angel."
"That's no reason for making me make your bed. Can't you do it yourself?" he answered, not as meekly as might be expected.
She sniffed. "What one can do and what one must do are different thing. You must make my bed for me. I can do it if I have to, but I'm not even sure what bits and pieces you use for one of those floor-softeners. Why can't you japanese people use beds like civilised people?"
Having heard enough, Misato stepped in. "That's hardly the way to speak about your host country, Asuka. Or perhaps you're just trying to get Shinji's attention?" She said, bathed in the aura bestowed on her by the lit room behind.
Asuka narrowed her eyes. "Oh, Captain Katsuragi. I was just explaining to Shinji here about proper sleeping arrangements where adults don't force young ladies into sleeping with boys. Uh...why are you holding a pillow?"
The older woman raised an eyebrow, a smirk plastered all over her face. "I'm putting my futon inbetween you two. You didn't honestly think I'd leave you two alone in a room together did you? We might be hard-up for pilots, but we don't want you two to make little pilots...at least not yet."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!"
"Awww, did I ruin your plans? Don't worry Asuka, I'm sure Shinji will get your hints eventually, but you can't blame him for wanting to move slowly...wow, you look like ripe tomatos!"
"YOU...FIEND!"
Misato bit her finger to stifle her gaffaws. "Oops, I think I embarrassed her..."
"You two SEX PERVERTS sleep can in here, I'm going somewhere DECENT!"
"Whaddya think Shin-chan? Just you and me?"
He gasped. "M-Misato!"
"Damn japanese-language phone...ring damn you!"
Shinji looked at the red-tipped warhead, who was holding the phone. "Uhm...Asuka, who're you calling?"
"KAJI HELP ME! MISS KATSURAGI'S MAKING ME DO PERVERTED THINGS!"
Misato rushed out to the kitchen. "WHA..WHADYA...WHO ARE YOU CALLING!"
"COME AND RESCUE ME KAJI! AAAH, SHE'S GOT WHIPS AND ELECTRODES! EEEEEEK!"
"GIMME THAT YOU LITTLE BRAT!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'MEMORIES'? HELP ME!"
Misato grabbed the phone receiver from her. "You stupid brat. Who do you think came up with this plan!"
"He...he hung up..." Asuka said, a look of dazed confusion on her face.
"Asuka..."
"What do you want, THIRD!"
Misato sighed and went to pick up her pillow. "Okay, enough fun and games. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have teased you so much Asuka, but you over-reacted. Now get into bed and we'll go to sleep. You'll start your synchronising excercises tomorrow."
"But...wait, syncronisation...oh, whatever." Asuka growled.
Positioning her futon, Misato dropped it down. "Shinji, scoot over a bit will you?"
Asuka grabbed it up, holding the padded quilt up in the air. "No Misato, you are NOT sleeping next to ME, you pervert! Shinji, roll over here. Misato can sleep on your other side, if you can stand it."
"Hmph. Fine, but you kids behave. If I hear any moaning, I'm bringing in the hose!"
"The same applies to you! No wonder he's so quiet and nervous with you around."
Shinji risked speaking up from between the two volatile ladies. "Uhm...I'll go turn the light off..."
"Fine, thankyou Shinji-kun."
"Fine, but don't let the old woman grab you on the way back."
"Okay, enough. Goodnight you two."
"Ja, ja. Guten Nacht."
"Good night..." Shinji looked blankly up at the ceiling. 'An unfamiliar...feeling.'
"Psst. Hey Shinji."
"Hhmmm? Uhm...Asuka?"
"Sshhh. Is the old woman asleep?"
"What? Uhm...I don't know. I guess so."
"Hey, do you know if Mister Kaji really used to...you know...know Misato?"
"Well...he seemed to know a lot about her...so I guess so."
"Damnit, the one man I thought I could count on."
"I'm sure Misato is...you know, just playing with us."
"Yeah. You're not...you know, weird with her are you?"
"Huh? I don't think so...I never really had a room-mate before."
"Hmm, and I'll bet you're loving this! Sleeping next to a goddess and...another woman."
"Uhm, sure."
"Pah. Wimp."
"Well, what do you want me to do? Come over there and do something?"
"What! You wouldn't have the guts!" Asuka hissed.
Shinji sighed. "You're probably right."
"Of course!"
"Probably..."
Asuka let out a slight squeal and rolled over to face her other side. Misato grinned as she faked sleep, repressing a dry chuckle. 'They're so cute...looks like Shinji's getting some spine because of it too...'
"Misato-san, I...(puff, puff), why does synchronising need us to...(puff, puff), rythmic gymnastics? (puff)" Shinji rasped.
Misato grinned at him from her perch on the sofa, wearing the full Nerv uniform despite working from home. "I'm glad you asked, Shin-chan. Asuka, you've got the degrees. Please explain it for us."
Asuka shot her a glare as she gasped for breath. "Hmm, well I guess it's to get us to understand each other's physical limitations and characteristics, so we can fight more effectively against the stupid Angel-twins. We won't have a neural link like in the Evas, so the synchronising has to come from our reactions to each other, so we have to understand each other's body language. Trouble is, in order to take on a perfectly mirrored pair of enemies, there is no margin for error. I'm surprised we're even considering this crazy plan! Even if it was Mister Kaji's idea."
"Oh..." was all Shinji could reply.
"Ba-ka. So what's up next Misato? Wrestling, maybe?"
"Nu-uh. Ballroom dancing next."
"Uh..." Shinji gasped.
"What! Mein Gott, you've got to be kidding! Oh look, the idiot's made a mess in his pants."
"I did not! I just...oh geez..."
"Hmmm..." Asuka put a hand on her hip and grimaced. "I suppose it would force us to get physically in-tune." she shot Misato a death-stare. "But we ARE going to get some better clothes, okay? I'm sick of you two watching my ass in lycra!"
Misato made a mock sad-face. "Aww, but it was so entertaining to watch you sneaking peaks at each other."
"What!" they cried in unison. "You were looking?"
"Hee hee. Well, putting you two into such intimate working conditions wasn't my first choice, but needs thrust as the Angels drive."
"This is child abuse!" Asuka spat.
Misato shrugged. "Even the child abuse commission would turn a blind eye when it's saving the planet from destruction. It could be worse. you know."
Shinji gave her a look.
"She could be ugly," said the Captain with a grin.
"The rumours were right about Japan being the world's most perverted continent." Asuka muttered.
"Why, where else have you been? Maybe we just admit it more than others. Gotta repopulate Earth, after all."
"So, uhm, do I like get a suit?" Shinji asked.
Misato's mouth split into a huge grin. "What, to repopulate the Earth?"
"Ah, shut up!" he responded testily, reaching his limit.
"Yup, you two go check your rooms. They were delivered an hour or so ago."
Asuka occupied the bathroom for some time to get changed while Shinji grudgingly let Misato put the finishing touches on his suit. As Asuka exited, Misato whistled, "Nice, Asuka. Classical or something with a beat, guys?"
"Let's start off with something with rythm, I think baka here will need some time to get into it. Hmm, you polished up alright, considering. Look Third Child, you're gonna have to touch me. Okay, that hand on my shoulder blade, the other around my back. And don't even think about letting it slide down, got it?"
"Y-Yeah..."
"I think he's dissapointed, Asuka."
"Of course he is! But he has to count himself lucky to be this close to me. Smile Shinji, I know you're enjoying this!"
The two commenced as the jazz-time piece started up with a swelling brass section. Their dancing clothes were neat and professional, far from austentatious but rather chosen for practical dancing. Asuka would have been depressed to know that Kaji had spent more time choosing Shinji's suit than her own scarlet dress.
They progressed through several tunes while Shinji tried to relax enough to move with, rather than react to, Asuka's movements. They then tried some slower classical before Misato called time.
"Alright guys, that went well. Time to hit the shower. Shinji, let Asuka go first like a gentleman. Well done you two! If it were Dance-Dance Revolution, that Angel would be toast!"
"Why, because Ritsuko would have given us some cheat codes? Baka here was all over my toes!" Asuka sneered as she left.
"I said I was sorry..." Shinji pleaded.
"You got my big toe three times! My toes are bruised! Misato, call Kaji and tell him to come over here and massage my feet!"
Shinji yelped. Asuka's grip on his arm had tightened as she watched Misato get the glassy 'memories' look in her eye.
"Psst, Shinji. The old woman asleep yet?"
"...hmmmmm? Yeah, I think so..."
"Vundebar. So, what did you think of the dress?"
"...uhm, well nice I guess..."
Moisture in the air crystallised into shard of ice. "You'll have to do better than that third."
"Youlookedgreatyoulookedgreat!"
"I know that, little boy! Be more specific, please."
"Uh, well, it really suited you and made your eyes stand out..."
"And?"
"Uh, well...your legs and your arms..."
"Go on."
"And, well..."
"Say it!"
"Well...your ass looked terrific!"
"Pervert. You looked alright yourself. Guten nacht."
"...good night..."
Misato's brow twitched in the darkness. 'Do they really think this is OK?'
"You know, I think I actually miss school." Shinji said as he poured milk into the bowl of cereal that Asuka had just filled. They had got to the point where they could make simple meals together, each performing a step in the process one after the other, without having to think about it.
"Really? I can't remember when I went to school last. Not counting your school of course. I was only there for two days."
"Well, not school I guess. I mean seeing everyone."
"Well sure. But what am I, souerkraut?"
"N-no...but its different, you know?"
"Yeah. We're practically family by now! Geez, we even have to hang around while the other goes to the toilet!"
"That was so weird to start off with...it just doesnt matter any more, though."
"I know, we're being forced to feel like it's normal. I'm going to need councilling after this!"
Misato interrupted the two by entering the kitchen, having finished setting up in the lounge. "It hasn't exactly been peache beer for me either. Eat up kids, we're starting in twenty minutes! Trampoline to begin with, then more dance-twister afterwards."
The two pilots groaned as they carried the bowls to the table. "How much tabascoe sauce this morning, Misato?"
"Five drops, just a little extra pep today thanks. Make sure it spreads onto all of the corn flakes evenly."
Shinji looked at Asuka. "I'm going to need that councilling too. Do they handle patients coming to terms with crimes against culinary good taste?"
He wasn't sure how it happened, but Shinji found himself getting uncomfortably familiar with the patterns on the skin of Asuka's right foot.
"DAMMNIT! VERBOTEN SCHEISSER AAAAAARRGH! MISATO WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS STUPID TOY!"
Dazed, he took a moment to slide to a sitting position as Asuka rallied and cursed. Misato had brought a few of their classmates to help break the monotony, and the paired pilot's synchronising had collapsed miserably. Rei sat by in silence like a ghostly presence.
"Shin-chan, are you alright?"
Shinji just nodded dumbly, too stunned to talk.
"Hmmph. Well no excuses for not knowing my shoe size from now on, Shinji." Asuka looked embarrased despite the barbed comment.
"Asuka! Apologise." Hikari commanded, to which Asuka just turned her nose aside and snorted.
"Excuse me? Did I miss something?" Touji jeered. "Aren't you two preparing to save the city from an Alien Attack?"
Kensuke nodded vigorously. "Right now, you're probably more of a danger to each other."
Misato held her hands up and shrugged. "Jeez, it must be stage fright. Come on, it's just your friends, not some Idol judges."
"Ha, the Devil's just upset by the presence of our righteous selves!" Touji grinned, thoroughly enjoying Asuka's spectacle. No doubt the lycra helped.
"Maybe it's a garlic I had on my lunch today. Is my breath that strong?" Kensuke breathed at his not-at-that-moment friend.
"Ergh man, that's foul. Again with the Vampires, you nut..."
"Asuka..." Hikari ventured, "Misato, they really know us all that well, after all. We should go..."
The redhead snarled, "Are you suggesting this is all MY fault? What about idiot here, huh?"
Misato spoke up, "Settle down, we all just need to learn to relax. Rei, why don't you swap with Asuka for a while?"
"Very well."
"Humph, good luck synchronising with that un-coordinated lump, First. Misato, gimme a cola."
Shinji grimaced slightly as she mounted the training mat, concerned at having to synchronise with someone new. Despite appearances, they'd been getting high 80's and low 90's before the others had arrived.
The assembly watched in confused shock as the two synchronised perfectly.
"Hmmm, interesting..." Misato mused.
"Oh c'mon! She...she..." Asuka paled as she watched. Backing toward the doorway, she turned and fled.
"Shinji!" Hikari called. "Hey, pay attention! Go get her, will you!"
"What?"
"Go help her, you made her cry!"
"Me! Uhm..." Shinji looked around at blank faces. He left.
"Thankyou Rei, that was very impressive."
"Yes, ma'am."
Shinji homed in on the only hang-out he knew of in easy walking distance; the corner store. He searched it uncertainly until he found her crouched before the drinks fridge.
"Hey, Asuka."
She looked up at him, registering his presence with a grimace. "Don't say anything. I know; we screwed up. But it was so weird with everyone watching..."
Shinji knelt beside her. "I know what you mean...but maybe it was harder for you because the rest of it, uh, came naturally to you? But for me, I had to concentrate so I didn't notice everyone."
Asuka looked at him ruefully. "Are you apoligising for me, Third Child?"
He looked away. "I'm sorry."
She snorted. "Well, whatever."
They just sat for a while until the owner came over to check on them. He frowned, but left them without a word.
The two teenagers looked at each other, both with goofy grins. "Heh. Uhm, wanna go back now?" Shinji asked.
She shrugged at him. "Sure. After you buy me a drink."
He rolled his eyes. "Ah, I suppose. Err, what kind?"
"Gimme a sour cherry."
"Okay." he said, reaching into the fridge and closing it after procuring the beverage.
Asuka frowned at him. "Aren't you going to have one?"
The boy grimaced. "Well...I don't have enough cash..."
"What! No way. What have you been spending it on!" she asked with a surprised look. "Comic books? Snacks? Not...hentai games?"
He looked at her in confusion. "Huh? My new-years money has almost run out, and I don't get anything else..."
"What about your Pilot's allowance?"
"My...what?"
"Oh man, you didn't even know! We get five percent of our Pilot's Salary put into a spending account, which is plenty to buy yourself a drink or twenty, and the rest goes into a trust until we're 18. Didn't Misato give you your Nerv-OES card?"
"Nervous card?"
"Good name for a cash card, neh? Yours must have a bit in it by now."
Shinji just shook his head. "I guess Father would never tell me something like that..."
Asuka held up her hands in frustration. "Again about your father! Geez. Well fine, it's my shout until you can get your finances sorted out."
"Uhm...thanks."
She looked him in the eyes. "Don't tell anyone I bought you a drink, okay Third Child? I don't want anyone getting any funny ideas."
He sighed. "Uh, sure."
She took out her card. "Anyway, thanks for coming to check up on me."
Shinji turned and gave her a shy smile in response.
Asuka gave a victorious thumbs up as she wrote over Misato's scrawl, 'D-DAY', on the calendar with 'SAAK-DAY' in bright red lettering. "Stupid Ass-Angel Kicking Day. Yosch!"
Shinji called out to her, "Hey, Asuka. Are you thirsty?"
The teenaged girl rolled her eyes. "Yes, we are Shinji. What a surprise that you ask me that just when I'm in the kitchen!"
"Hey, I fetch drinks for you all the time."
"At least I have the decency to ask, not to plot and take advantage of our synchronicety."
"Mmm. Asuka, can you get us drinks please?"
"Yeah yeah..."
She grumbled under her breath, grabbing a couple of drinks from the fridge. When she got to their room she tossed it at him. Since he was on his back, face buried in a book it hit him square in the stomach. "Oof! Hey!" he whined, picking himself up off the floor.
Asuka stuck out her tongue. "Bleh. Serves you right."
"Humph. Great, now it's all fizzed up and I lost my place." Shinji grumbled, referring to his can of drink and book.
"What'cha reading, Third Child?" the redhead inquired nosily.
"Samurai X: Revenge of the Tenken."
"Oh. So what do you think?"
"Umm...I want a katana."
He winced when she swatted his hair playfully. "Bah. You want a real sword from Das Vaterland. None of this skinny, blunt stuff."
Shinji knew better than to challenge her nationalistic pride. "Whatever," he shrugged neutrally. "Oh yeah, Misato said she'd be out tonight with the preparations."
"Wunderbar..." Asuka flashed him a manic grin. "Shinji, go to the store and get me some ice-cream! Mint-choc-chip! And some pink soda...oh yeah and some chips. Barbeque flavour! Beef jerky! The spicy stuff! And maybe..."
"Uh, Asuka?"
"What, Third Child?"
"Uhm, I don't think I'll be able to remember all that..."
"Hmmm...I suppose I can come along to supervise you. But you're paying for it, since you still owe me one."
"Okay..."
"And you have to carry it all."
"I know." he said, letting a hint of melancholy seep into his tone.
Asuka sighed heavily. "Such a boring little boy..."
And so off they went to procure Asuka's indulgences. Returning from their Nerv-funded raid on the corner store, Asuka made herself comfortable in front of the TV while Shinji fixed himself a quick meal. "You sure you don't want any ramen Asuka? It's real, not instant."
"Thanks, no." she told him dismissively, "I have to look after my figure, you know." said the girl demolishing a family-sized packet of crisps as she spoke.
Nonplussed, Shinji smirked. 'Misato's rubbing off on her... come to think of it, they're both more like stereo-type batchelors sometimes...ugh.'
Sitting down at the table, Shinji picked up his chopsticks to take a mouthful.
"Hay, baka! There's a show on about Tokyo 3. Come watch it with me! They'll have to say something about the Eva's, and us of course."
He frowned. 'Ramen in front of TV...I guess I'm not living with Sensei anymore.'
"Hurry up! Hey, is that Unit 00? Why is it orange?"
Carefully balancing his slightly over-full bowl, Shinji gave her the brief version of events. "Hah! So she stood in front of the beam too long and got warped. That explains her personality."
The boy frowned. "No...she was like that before. Uhm! No, I mean, it only damaged the Eva, not her!"
Asuke grinned wolfishly. "Well, serves her right for being worse at piloting than you. Otherwise you would have been the one to stand in the supporting role."
"I think that's her nature too. She's...protective I guess."
The redhead shrugged. "What-ever." Sitting up, she look Shinji directly in the eyes. "Shinji! Ice-cream!"
'Way to change the subject,' Shinji thought glumly. "Alright, alright. Bowl or cone?"
"Just bring out the whole tub. And two spoons."
He smirked as he pictured her shovelling the icy substance into her mouth, double-handed. 'Hmm...dual-wield ice-cream headache.'
Handing her the double-spooned tub, he was mildly surprised when she handed him one of them. "Sit." she commanded. "Lean back a bit...good." she said, resting the tub in the crook of his arm. They balanced the tub between them, eating while they watched the next show. Shinji tried to keep a meticulously neat indent into the ice-cream on his side, but Asuka would just dig up a patch randomly and ruin his sculpting. He might have been annoyed if he wasn't just plain nervous about eating like that.
"Ooh, its cold!" Asuka gasped suddenly. "You only just noticed?" Shinji quipped, before she shifting the tub onto his stomach so she could rub some heat into her shoulder. Shinji gasped, hurriedly pushing the tub off his belly, spilling some melted ice-cream onto the carpet.
"Ah, dammnit." he groaned, and wiped up the sticky goo with a tissue.
"Ooh, sensitive are we? Made a mess?" Asuka grinned evilly.
"H-Hey, you're the one who p-put it on me!" Shinji stammered nervously as she watched him predatorially.
"Hah!" A war cry as she dove for his stomach. She tackled and tickled him mercilessly as Shinji shreiked and rolled about, fighting off her probing hands and both of them giggling like demented fiends. Finally he managed to subdue her, grabbing her wrists and holding them tightly. They gazed at each other.
"Asuka..." he breathed.
"Yeah?" Asuka asked, a little dazed.
He looked at her with a deadpan expression. "Revenge is sweet." and dove for her sensitive left side.
"EEEEK!" she squealed as he exacted said revenge. Blood heated, the two teenagers continued to tussel, with the occasional accidentally-on-purpose daring touches amidst the giggling frenzy. Eventually they settled down in the warm buzz of playful companionship, sprawled exhausted and gasp-giggling on the floor wearing contented grins.
"Shinji?"
"Yeah?" he replied lethargically.
"Turn off TV. It's bed time."
"Mmm. Yeah, okay." he said, working up the energy to get up.
Asuka dragged herself up after Shinji stood to start preparing the house for the night. She even grabbed up a couple of empty packets and made a half-hearted attempt to mop up a bit more of the spilled ice-cream.
Standing by the spare room, she declared "This is MY bedroom in here, Third Child. No more sleeping in the same room with you, baka."
Shinji looked at her, not certain how he was supposed to feel. "Uhm, okay?"
He had been looking forward to some time to listen to his SDAT. He felt the need to reaffirm his need for the device's soothing music. He wasn't ready to make the transition from a lonely soul just yet. Asuka had other plans.
"I'm leaving the door open - we can talk as loud as we like, right?"
Shinji looked at the music player with an ambivilent expression. "Yeah." he replied.
Lying in their respective futons, Asuka chattered away while Shinji listened. When prompted, his voice was quiet since he was pretty much in 'sleep' mode.
"Shinji no baka! Speak up!"
"I can't Asuka...I'm tired..."
"Bah!"
The german girl cursed and got up, dragging her stuff back out into the other room with Shinji.
"Fine then! Gah, why did I bother? Baka."
"I'm sorry...I'm just...tired..."
Asuka watched as he curled up and pulled his sheets about him with his eyes closed. 'Humph, silly boy doesn't know how good he's got it. Baka.'
Thump.
Shinji opened his eyes, wakened by the sound of a mass hitting the floor beside him. Asuka.
Half-shuttered eyes beheld her. 'She's so pale in this light...her hair looks light brown...' he thought as he saw her moonlit face.
Her eyes closed, Asuka faced him with a small pout on he rlips.
'So peaceful...her lips...so...plump...'
Shinji's mind began to wake up at the sight. Hormones began to pump.
Eyes now fully open, he drank in her visage with something akin to a shocked revelation.
'Oooh...no...'
"Mamma..."
Shinji rolled over and forced his eyes shut.
"Okay you two - the Angel's chrysalis will soften to below 25 moh in two minutes. Those progressive lances should be able to penetrate if thrown with sufficient force. Once the Angel splits into it's two halves, start your synchronised sequence. We'll keep you in time using a corrected beat."
(I suppose this is all assuming that the Angel will split into two again, and not something new and unexpected. Again.)
"We'll deal with that when it happens, doctor. Positions everyone!"
(Okay Shinji, just follow my lead.)
(We're supposed to work together...actually I suppose we can't help it by now.)
(Of course, but this will require maximum grace and efficiency. So follow my lead!)
(Fine, whatever. In sixty-two plus forty-three seconds it will be all over.)
"Cut the chatter and practise synch you two!"
(Yes ma'am.) they said in harmony. Ritsuko looked disturbed.
"The MAGI report a 87% synchronisation. Perhaps we should inject some relaxant into their LCL?"
Misato shook her head. "No, the pilots need to be fully alert. They'll relax once they've started."
She looked over her shoulder. "Countdown!"
"Thirty seconds, mark."
"Angel status is nominal. Eva status green."
"Blue pattern spike, 12 percent!"
"Twenty seconds, mark."
"Unit 01 at 56 percent synch, Unit 02 at 64 percent synch, the two pilots in 95%."
"Another spike! 67 percent active!"
"Ten seconds!"
"Pilots at 98 percent synch!"
"Angel 93 percent active and rising!"
"Two..."
"GO, GO!"
Weighted lances whirled as they were thrust toward the burnt husk that was their target. The first was dashed aside against the carapace but the second cut through and into the pink mass inside.
Both pilots roared as their Evas reared up and cartwheeled in opposite directions to avoid the Angel's lancing blows, all in eerie unison.
"My god, they're really acting as two halves of the one, aren't they?" Fuyutski observed.
"Indeed. It is evidence of complementation's truth, as a dull echo of what will be."
"Is it evidence of our future or the past, Ikari?"
"Perhaps both. The life of Man is cyclic. It is not for us to know the future, only to predict and manipulate it based on the past and the now."
Silence resumed as three figures watched the battle from the command deck.
"Commander," Rei asked.
"Yes, Rei?"
"Why was I able to synchronise with Pilot Ikari?"
"You are both of similar mind and body. Leaves from the same branch."
"I see."
Fuyutski frowned. "It would be best if you never acted on or spoke of this knowledge, Rei. Human interactions can be complicated by such...facts."
"Yes, sir."
Again silence reigned as the parallel Evas weaved and danced about the battlefield, stepping the choreographed moves with eerie collusion.
A building was rended by the Angel's deperate attacks against their lithe foes. Fuyutski spluttered, "Damn it, another building destroyed! Our budget for repairs has already been exceeded for the year!"
"Calm yourself, Professor. Money is the plaything of small minds."
Mollified, the sub-commander grimaced as he fell back to his customary at-ease posture. 'The bread and water of millions, a plaything. It was easier to sleep when I didn't know how we were financed.'
Asuka felt rather than saw Shinji's slight mistake, a moment where his balance didn't quite return when he needed it. She grinned wolfishly. 'This is why I'm here!' she proclaimed silently.
"He's missed a beat." Dr. Akagi observed.
Misato paled. "Shinji..."
The Red Eva bobbed in time to the error, delaying her actions by ducking behind the shelter of a small rise for just a moment until Shinji had recovered to recatch the beat. Claws of diamond filament lashed and missed by meters as the two avatars moved once again of one accord.
The back of Asuka's mind gathered a bundle of pride at her skill, her ability to know and to compensate for her partner. For an instant, she was compelled to wallow in it and let it sooth and stroke her ego. She crushed it down ruthlessly. There was no time, it could break their rythm. Later.
They swept upward, the quartet led by the champions of humanity as the Angel was forced to follow. Flashes as painted armour and alien hide whipped and flew.
There it was. The target state. The Angel's key vulnerable moment was all but nigh.
(Shinji!)
(Asuka!)
Parallel lanes, the Angel's halves in close proximity, cores toward the Evas and empty hillside behind them. At the speed of thought, the synchronised pilots leapt and flew. Finally the dance was at a climax, and four became as one. The leading couple pressed home the power of parallel individuals over the twins. The red orbs buckled and fought to hold as the Angel's backs were pressed to the hillside. In desperation, they rejoined but yet bore the brunt of two armour heels backed by the momentum of two Evangelion units in full flight. Then it imploded. And there was light.
The tactical display showed two slag-covered Evangelions in intimate proximity. Misato uncovered her eyes.
(GET YOUR STUPID FAT EVA OF MINE, BAKA!)
(I'm sorry!)
(Geez, what, did you fall asleep out there? What were you doing last night!)
(Nothing! Sleeping!)
(Yeah right, Third Child. I saw you...staring at me all night long. Pathetic!)
(WHAT! No, it was only for a little bit...!)
"Ouch." Aoba cringed.
(HENTAI! You really WERE staring at me! Oh my god!)
Gendo's brow shifted, and the Universe held it's breath. "Captain. Move the power supplies to the Evas so that they can extricate themselves. Immediately."
"Yes sir."
"Those damn kids..."
Ritsuko looked up at the commanders. "At least we won."
Author's Notes:
This was one of my better chapters, I felt, yet I found a lot to improve. The final chapter may be a long way off though, given the rate this re-editing is going at.
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Heh heh heh...Rei the pornography distributer...
Copyright 2008 (This is not a pillar of society to be built on, more like a gutter)
-fin-