The night before
With both Barry and Iris gone and everyone else leaving shortly after, Caitlin and Harry seemed to be the only remaining guests in Joe's house when not counting Ralph who was clearly overstaying his welcome. He was just slowly maneuvering towards Caitlin, staggering which indicated his exaggeration with eggnog. Harry, seeing the woman's predicament and easily foreseeing that he would either have to take Dibny home or leave him to sleep it off on Joe's couch, fastened up with a proposition.
"How about I'll walk you back home, Snow?"
She looked up at him, grateful for the rescue. She didn't really have to be worried about wondering the streets in the dark since she was about ten times more powerful than Harry and his glock that he always carried, but it would be nice to have company, so she quickly nodded with a smile and before she knew it, he was handing her over her coat and they were saying goodbye to Joe when leaving as fast as though the house was on fire. The look on West's face did not miss their attention, but then again, none of them really wanted to take care of drunk Dibny.
At first, they walked the snowy and abandoned streets in silence, Snow actually noticing that despite her not really feeling the cold or maybe not being bothered by it, it was clearly getting to Harry. He didn't complain, though and kept the slow pace, just enjoying her company. They always did that, she realized. They felt comfortable when left alone with each other, they didn't even have to talk to break any awkward silence, they also never bickered like Harry often did with Cisco. They just felt relaxed and somehow safe together.
"Some kind of Christmas, hah?" Harry finally asked, but again, it wasn't because the silence was getting to them, but because he just wanted to talk.
"Yeah. I wonder when we'll have a normal Christmas Eve."
"Try never," he said and she laughed at that.
"You might be right."
"Being around Barry will always get us into trouble. We'll always end up being hurt or kidnapped or… speaking of which, are you ok?" he asked her that question for the first time since the team had rescued her. They didn't really have the time for any small talk before as Barry had still been with DeVoe.
"Yeah. I guess being taken a few times made it easier on me." Caitlin shrugged.
Harry came to a sudden stop and then his hand was on her shoulder and she was turning to look into those blue eyes of his in surprise.
"That shouldn't be a new normal for you and you know it," he said in a rather harsh voice.
"But what can I do? I got myself into that mess," she told him. "I wish I could just blame Barry for this, but it's not right. I got involved with Amunet."
"Have you forgotten that if Barry hadn't gone back in time in the first place, you would have probably never had those powers?"
And never joined Savitar. Never betrayed anyone. Never died because they would've been able to actually get her to a hospital…
Caitlin saddened when realizing all of that. "I know," she then admitted quietly, actually feeling cold for the first time since she'd tuned into Killer Frost. Maybe there was just something about Harry that brought out vulnerability in her. Then again, he always went straight to the point.
"I'm sorry," he suddenly apologized to her surprise.
"Don't worry about it. You're right." She nodded when biting on her lip and then just resumed her walk.
"You gotta stop bringing strays to our parties, though, Snow," he then mentioned just to see her smile. And he did.
"I can't help it. When I feel someone's in need, I just help them without thinking about it. It's just who I am."
"And that's exactly what I like about you," he confessed and she just had to look at him again. "Can't you see? No matter how scared you are that Killer Frost could hurt someone or God forbid kill, you're the best person I know. I'm certain that she's turned a new leaf just because of your influence on her."
Caitlin really didn't know what to say to that. Harry's words touched her in a way no one else's could.
"Thank you, Harry," it was then that she stopped by the building in which she lived, "for always seeing the best of me," she added with a smile.
"Thank you for always smoothing out my edges," he retaliated to which she shot him a questioning look. "Ok, don't repeat that to anyone and especially Cisco," he warned her first with a playful smile on his face, "but you seem to be the only person who's able to bring out my soft side. Well, except Jesse, of course, but that's just because she's my daughter. I'm actually mostly just plain angry with her."
Caitlin laughed at that.
"Yeah, I guess I did notice that you seem different around me," she nodded after a moment of consideration. "I don't know, I guess there's always been this connection between us. You always know what to say to me and you actually understand me."
They were standing there for a moment, just smiling to each other and suddenly, for the first time in his company, Caitlin felt slightly uncomfortable. It wasn't anything he did or say, it was just the way he was looking at her now that seemed to be so different that scared her in a way she couldn't really explain.
They were just about to say goodbye when he surprised her by reaching his had to her face and brushing her cheek. Then, suddenly, his face came closer and before she could think or say something or react, his lips touched her in a gentle, small and tentative kiss.
She was completely taken aback, but could feel the world standing still as though they were the only people existing in it.
Another second later, when she actually kissed him back, she discovered that she wanted this, which surprised her again and took her off her track completely.
She didn't even remember how it happened. Their kisses grew stronger as they weren't able to pull themselves away from each other and she found herself taking his hand and leading him inside the building and then inside her apartment.
When the door stood open and next he kicked it closed, he immediately pushed her against one of the walls in the hall, pressing his body against her, pinning her there, trapping and kissing again. They were clearly in a haze, not even knowing what was happening, they were just able to feel, to let themselves be consumed by desire they suddenly discovered was there. Or maybe she just did that since he must've sensed it before.
When their respective coats fell to the floor and his hands ran up her back to reach the zipper of her dress and hers actually rested on his belt, she stilled, finally waking up from all that haze, bringing herself back to reality.
She was just about to sleep with Harry. Harry. God, she could feel his entire body pressed against her own, his breath on her skin, the touch of his lips, not to mention the obvious hardness poking her in the stomach. If she could just slid her hand a little lower, she could touch him.
It was Harry. The doppelganger of her first boss, of the first person who'd ever betrayed her and just because of that fact, it hurt the most. Yet, he was so different from his look-alike that she couldn't seem to see Eobard in him, the difference always being clear to her. Another issue, though, was that he was so many years her senior and he actually had a grown-up daughter. How was this ever going to work when there were so many obvious obstacles and differences between them? Snow wasn't the one night stand kind of a girl. She never was, therefore she'd never done it. This wasn't the case now either because there seemed to be feelings involved. Actual feelings she was still stunned to have discovered. Well, yes, she always looked for genetically perfect man, it was just who she was, it was just how she seemed to be wired after med school. But then, no one was actually perfect. Ronnie wasn't perfect. He always wanted to play the hero and despite him getting her to try all those new things like scuba diving or jumping with a parachute, in the end she wasn't actually sure she liked any of them. It just wasn't her. She'd rather stay in her lab. But she loved him, so she did it all for him. What did he do for her exactly? Well, except dying to save her? Like twice? Then it wasn't as though it would've worked with Hunter or Julian. In Snow's mind, Julian was actually the last lifeline she could see, so she clung to him without even thinking what she really felt for him. She got closer to him because he could help her. In the end, it was Killer Frost who actually made it easier for her and told the guy she never really loved him. That was the one thing both she and Caitlin seemed to agree on. Somehow, Snow started wondering whether Killer Frost would approve of her choice right now. Something told her that maybe she would since she always said that Caitlin had terrible taste in men. Maybe she was right. Maybe it didn't mean that she'd rather date a bad boy or someone downward evil. Killer Frost herself wasn't evil anymore, so maybe…
"Are you ok?" Harry asked and she looked up into his eyes and her heart sunk when she saw his expression. "Snow, is this really what you want?" he still continued, ready to pull away from her and leave and never mention this again even for the cost of his own sanity. His voice was strained from desire, almost shaking with the most primal of needs and she couldn't help but think how long it had actually been for him. Maybe even longer than for her since she didn't peg him for a guy who would just randomly hook up with someone. He'd rather hang out in his lab alone. And then it hit her how much alike they truly were. How perfect for each other despite the obvious differences.
In the end, it was the vulnerability she saw reflected in his usually hard eyes which somehow were soft now that undid her completely and made her want to cling to his body with no barriers between them, made her want to reach out and touch his soul and make him happy and whole again. She wanted all of those things.
Without thinking anymore, she grabbed his face, pulled him closer and started kissing him with all her might, exhilarated by how good it felt, by how wonderful it was to be this close to a man again, to feel him whole, to touch him and make love to him.
In the end, she both wanted and needed him. He'd somehow always been there and now it hurt her physically and emotionally that she'd managed to overlook him and not recognized him for what he could actually become for her. Damn her and her unrealistic notions to always look for the perfect gene pool. No one was perfect. And genetically perfect didn't exactly mean a good person.
Ok, they didn't exactly make love as they rid of their clothes when still in the hall and he just entered her fast after she released him from the confine of his pants and stoke, enjoying the feel of him in her hands, the reactions she was getting. She just raised her leg and put it over his hip, enveloping him like that and he drove inside, both of them getting lost in the sensations, so desperate for this after such a long period of absence.
Now
"Caitlin, are you even listening?" Iris's voice finally woke Caitlin up from her reverie. They were all gathered up in the cortex – well, except Barry, of course – trying to figure out a strategy, a way for them to get Barry out of jail and what she was doing? Daydreaming about what happened the night before with Harry. She didn't even dare look at him now, his presence so persistent to her, though, that she couldn't seem to shake him. She wasn't even drunk the night before for God's sake! She thought, actually panicking now about what she'd done. Everything always looked different in the daylight, did it? Or maybe not? Maybe what she was really afraid of was the reaction she would get from her friends once she and Harry came clean.
"Yeah, yes… sorry…"
"Guys, I think that Ralph here can be the most helpful since Barry refused to tell everyone he's the Flash," Joe then interjected, pointing at the man in question who was half-lying on a desk with a cup of coffee in hand, nursing a terrible hangover.
"This is so not the right time, man," he had the audacity to complain. "I don't have my mojo… I…"
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Cisco roared so loudly that Caitlin herself jumped.
"Auu!" Dibny reacted immediately. "My head, man!"
"You'll get over it! And guess what?! Barry's in jail! He's been freaking arrested when standing over an actual corpse! And the man Caitlin here invited to our Christmas party was actually DeVoe wearing a different meat suit!"
"It's not her fault," Harrison suddenly cut in, his voice simmering with annoyance. "She was just being…"
"What? Nice?! Inviting complete strangers for Christmas?! Just to what? Score a date?!"
"Guys! Guys!" Iris shushed them down. "None of us couldn't have known, ok?"
Caitlin suddenly felt awful and really wanted to disappear. She just wanted to help and they immediately thought she wanted to date that man who was now DeVoe. Well… she really chose them well, she had to admit Killer Frost was right. Then again, was she trying to date the guy? She just liked him and that was all. She actually ended up coming home with… She felt the blush returning and wanted to curse. There should be more important things on her mind right now than getting Harrison naked!
"Hey, I let you crush on my couch and brought you here this morning myself," Joes turned to miserable Dibny. "And now my son's in jail and I think you can help him. Didn't you and Barry work once on a case with seemingly tight evidence and Barry figured out the man might've been innocent?"
"And got me convicted instead?" Ralph answered back.
"Well, you did tamper with evidence," Iris pointed out and Caitlin just brought her hand to her forehead, really having enough of this situation. "Ralph, I am begging you here. Please, help my husband. We've just got married. You're a part of the team now."
"Did I actually say I wouldn't help him? No. I didn't. I was just asking for little compassion here since I'm so hungover…"
"I told you, you shouldn't be drinking so much," Iris interjected again and Snow was just sick of it all.
"I'll… I'll bring you some concoction for that hangover. Maybe it'll help," she offered immediately and left the room before anyone managed to answer. She did hear Dibny saying something to her in gratitude, but didn't catch what it was exactly.
Yet, before she managed to reach her lab, there was suddenly a hand on her arm and it pulled her around a corner and before she knew it, Harry was kissing her.
It surprised her so much that she stilled, so he eventually pulled away in confusion. She was looking at his creased face, thinking how much older he actually was, how he had a grown up daughter and… actually liking the way he looked. He was so damn hot, she suddenly realized, taking a closer look at him in the light of the day.
His face immediately darkened and she hated the broken look she saw there, probably caused by her as he read her reaction wrong.
"So, that's just it for you?" he asked, his voice strangely detached and he moved away as to keep some distance from her. "I didn't peg you for a one night stander," his tone grew bitter, but she didn't hold it against him. She knew he was just trying to hide his own disappointment and hurt.
"Because I'm not," she denied quickly and made a step forward. "Harry, I… last night kind of sneaked up on me," she tried to explain as best as she could, "but… but I really enjoyed it."
"So, this doesn't bother you?" he pointed himself and then her.
"It does, but in a good way," she tried to be seductive.
"Snow, really, give me a break here. If last night was a mistake… I'm sorry, ok?" he suddenly apologized when scratching his head. "I shouldn't have kissed you in the first place or pushed you into doing… anything."
"That's the thing! You didn't! I wanted to!"
"It destroyed our friendship and the working agreement that we have here with the whole team and… wait, what?" he suddenly broke off as though her words just now registered in his brain.
"It's just new to me. It's like… I suddenly see the world in different colors. Like I've discovered something that was always there, but I just couldn't see it," she tried to explain as best as she could. "And I wish we could explore whatever this is further, but…" she shook her head, "Barry's in trouble and as much as I hate this, this," she pointed herself and then him, "would have to wait."
"Wait, so you don't regret it?" he asked again, stunned as though he had trouble with hearing, which she felt the temptation to point out, but then she decided against it since he might take it as an allusion to his age.
"Not even a little. It's just all new to me. I still have to get used to this... perspective."
"Oh, right, because I'm not the usual type you go for."
"That's the problem, you are exactly my type," she confessed, leaving him speechless and confused. "We are very alike, Harry and I just now begin to see that," she went on, nervously wriggling her fingers. "At least in character. In things that actually matter."
"Well, ok, that's good, I guess," he hesitated and she just loved the still confused, but in the same time slightly happy look on his face. He didn't let himself smile just yet, though, still afraid of being rejected. "So, aren't you bothered by…?" he made a nervous circling gesture directed at himself.
"What? Age? Nope. You are handsome… and hot… very much so, actually."
"Well, I know…" he answered in the same exact tone of voice that she heard him once when replying to that exact question of HR and it brought a smile to her face. A smile she couldn't fight. She was actually feeling quite happy and exhilarated.
"Cocky much?" she just asked him and he smiled brightly at that.
"You would know, wouldn't you?" he asked in the deepest of his voices and it sounded so sexy and husky that she shuddered, just wanting to grab him and…
"Oh, my God!" they were reaching for each other just when they heard Cisco's scream and they stilled. Once they looked at the guy, he had his hands put over his eyes. "Oh, my God, this is worse than seeing his freaking junk and having it burnt straight into my brain!" the guy complained and Caitlin frowned. "Now all I see is his junk and your…" he said to Caitlin and Harrison immediately bristled.
"Ramon," he warned the younger guy in the most menacing of voices he could muster.
"That's what the two of you were doing last night?!" Cisco asked, completely ignoring Harry.
"When exactly did Cisco see your junk?!" was all Caitlin wanted to know.
"Are you guys having a threesome?" they heard Ralph coming out from the cortex. "What?" he asked when they all glared at him. "What? I just came over here to see what's taking so long. My head's killing me, guys! But I could totally join…"
"I think he's got better," Harrison decided that very moment, "so can I hit him so it would start to hurt all over again."
"You hear no objections from me," Cisco agreed, folding his arms on his chest. "Now, try erasing that from my poor head!"