The White Dress
See disclaimer in part 1
It's safe to say that I was feeling a little bit capricious when I headed out to put the laundry up as part of my morning chores.
Why else—when this is just an ordinary day—would I have reached for that particular dress hanging in my closet instead of something more sensible, more work-friendly?
Even though it's vain of me, I like to think the dress is my best, the most flattering on me, and I love the feel of the soft gauzy fabric against my skin, the way it breathes so well and lets the chill of the wind play across my body.
And I'm not so naïve that I don't know full well the effect the dress can have on others, if I wear it into the open sunlight.
As I said, I'm sure it was a matter of caprice. A mere whim. A desire to look pretty where there was no danger of a fight or a fall or some other minor disaster to destroy my clothing.
But life has been well known for playing tricks on us like that.
I saw Serene's approach, saw her stop at a point where I knew she could see me clearly. Saw her expression change from open and friendly to bewildered, saw something dangerous flicker in her eyes before she blushed and turned and bolted.
Like I said—I didn't intend to put on a show, and I certainly didn't mean for the wind to blow when it did. It was… a shameful display that I could've avoided if my better nature had prevailed that morning and allowed me to dress more civilly.
But worse, since then I've been having strange thoughts and feelings whenever I'm around Serene. Thoughts I've never had for anyone before in my life. When I come near her, my heartbeat starts to race and I start to wonder what she thought before she left, what that glint in her eyes could have meant and if it implied what I think it did. I start to wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship, to be touched… to be loved.
My options are limited. Ein has told us that we're going to be leaving for Tetyth, our next destination, in a day. I have no idea what dangers we'll be facing there, but I do know that there will be dangers. When demons are involved, there always are… you never know what could happen.
And so, it's clear what I have to do.
"I shouldn't have told her" is a far better regret to have than "I should have told her", after all… isn't it?
Before I can stifle my courage with doubts, I don the dress and pull my hair loose, and head out to the Grove of Repose. Serene is there, debating with herself to the crisp autumn air.
She turns and sees me; I stand still, my hands at my sides to prevent a repeat of my prior performance.
We stare at each other.
I close my eyes and sigh. One of us must end the impasse.
"What do you feel," I ask slowly, "when you look at me?"
:For omegadestroyer7. Thank you so much for helping The Tainted break one hundred reviews!:
Owari.