He deserves to know, Jemma. Simmons scolded herself, just grow up and get it over with.
She had been standing outside of his bedroom door for the past half an hour, her trembling fist poised in mid knock. Her heart was pounding rapidly and audibly in her chest, she swore she could hear it echoing across the empty bus. It was late afternoon, Skye and Ward were in training, catching up from the time they'd missed while Skye had been in recovery, and Coulson hadn't left his office since the night before.
She could hear him moving around behind the thin barrier that separated them, undoubtedly trying to fix Dopey, which had glitched and flown itself into a ceiling fan when they had been messing around after a debrief at the hub. Occasionally she would hear a soft clunk of something dropping followed by a muttered curse word that caused her to bite back a smile.
Go on, honestly, he wont be angry that you've single handedly ruined his entire life.
She sighed inwardly, finally dropping her clenched hand in defeat.
"Simmons?"
She whirled round at the sound of her name and found herself face to face with Agent May, watching her wearily with her usual passive expression and a pair of pilots' coms around her neck.
"May!" she exclaimed, a bit too loudly and a bit too high pitched. "What… you scared me,"
"Sorry," she replied, "I was coming to see if you were alright,"
"Alright? Pssh, yeah, yeah I'm fine, great... I was just... I needed to talk to Fitz,"
She said gesturing to the door behind her awkwardly, mentally kicking herself for her poor acting skills. May arched an eyebrow.
"I can see that. The cockpit security camera says you have been standing out here for thirty-two minutes,"
"Wha-at?" Simmons spluttered, "Oh I'm sure that's wrong... Must be a malfunction... I'll ask Fitz to take a look at it for you,"
Conspicuous much
The two women stared at each other for a moment before May shrugged, "alright, if you say so," she continued slowly, "But if there is a problem, Simmons, feel free to come to me, you know where I'll be,"
Simmons was slightly taken aback by the statement. She had always thought that May would have been the last person that would involve themselves in other's personal problems. She had never even been alone with her since her recruitment process, when May had supervised her initial suitability assessment. She had said nothing throughout the procedure, but she had given her an approving nod as she passed, which she now realized to be a pretty big compliment coming from her.
Simmons would never have expected such a display of concern. She can see right through you, she realized.
"Will do, thank you May," She replied as the older woman began to walk away.
What have you got to lose?
She hesitated before calling after her again, "wait! May, um, I was just wondering, um, what were the contingencies of Protocol 307?"
The agents eyebrows shot up at this comment, "Protocol 307, if a field agent or member of a S.H.I. team falls pregnant, they will be removed from all physical aspects on any current mission for four months then are transferred to desk duty for the remaining four months.
They would then have leave for maternity until six months after the birth of the child; if the father is also an agent he will also receive four months paternity leave. The mother would then decide whether or not to resume her field operations or continue to work desk duty for as long as she deems suitable. This all, of course, is under the condition that both the parents have had their relationship approved by their supervising commanders and are not in violation of any other protocols.
They will also have to be accounted for continuously throughout the term and will have to undergo a series of health checks, for reasons not stated the handbook,"
Simmons nodded carefully.
"Is there something you need to tell me, Simmons?"
"Hm? No, oh, no, that... I was just looking into Skye's background a bit, you with her parents being agents. I was helping-"
"I'd prefer it if you didn't do that, Simmons," May cut off her feigned speech, but seemed to relax even though her voice developed a stricter tone, "Skye already knows enough and from what we can assume that information is deeply under wraps. I think it's best if it stay that way,"
"Yes, of course, sorry, May, thank you for your time,"
May gave one last nod and a skeptical look before finally continuing back towards the cockpit.
Simmons waited until she was out of sight before slowly resuming her initial position in front of her best friends door. Come on, you wimp, May's watching now, everything will be fine.
She held her breath as she finally knocked and pushed open the door a crack to reveal an extremely frazzled Fitz. He was clad in the rumpled clothes from the night before and his curly hair was a mess. He had obviously been working non-stop on that stubborn little robot, he flashed Simmons a tired smile as she entered.
"Simmons! Finally, I was wondering what was taking you so long,"
"Sorry?" she spluttered, oh god, he knew I was out there. What if he heard?
"Its Monday. Come on, Simmons, Marathon Monday?" he prompted "It's only been our bi-monthy tradition since the day we met!"
"Oh, Gosh!" Simmons gasped, "Fitz, I'm so sorry, I'd just completely forgot!"
"Forgot? Jemma Simmons, that is not like you at all," he joked to mask his disappointment.
The morning after the night they had met, after several uncomfortable attempts at conversation over a bowl of cornflakes had they discovered one thing in particular they had in common: An undying and fervent love for Doctor Who. After much scavenging around the neighboring dorms, earning several tired and disgruntled stares they managed to conjure up the first two seasons and a Christmas episode box set.
After watching the whole lot over popcorn, haribos and a six-pack of Guinness, they had stayed up till the early hours of the next morning, chatting non stop about science and such and swapping war stories about being the brainy, bookish child in a family of religious and sporting fanatics respectively. By breakfast the next day they had both obtained a scolding from the Dean and a new best friend.
This tradition continued until this day, admittedly having to cut it down to twice a month. They had made it a requirement in their contracts to have those days off, and learned to buy their own box sets while they had the time, as they discovered the hard way that some S.H.I.E.L.D. agents didn't take so kindly to their scavenges as their fellow students had.
"Oh Fitz, I'm so so sorry, I suppose I haven't been myself lately,"
He gave her a quizzical look and made room for her on the bed beside him. "Is something wrong, Jems?" he asked as she perched carefully on the edge of the bed, leaving at least a foot of space between them.
"No… yes, well, I have to tell you something," she replied, refusing to make eye contact. He waited as she thought over her words.
"You remember a few weeks ago when we visited the Academy? And... When we got really drunk and woke up in your old dorm?"
Fitz nodded slowly; Simmons allowed herself a deep breath.
"And... I told you that nothing had happened, but... I lied, I'm so sorry, Fitz..."
Simmons watched helplessly as the panic grew, his eyes widened and his ears turned red.
"Oh God, Simmons, no, I'm sorry! I'm so stupid, I shouldn't have let that happen!"
"No, Fitz, honestly..."
"I can't even remember... Wait, please tell me there was protection,"
"Well, yes, but Fitz..."
"Oh thank god," he relaxed slightly, "because imagine if you had gotten pregnant, that would have been a disaster!"
Jemmas heart sunk. "Yes," she replied weakly, "that would have been,"
"But, really, Jemma, we can put that behind us, cant we?"
"Of course, don't be silly, I definitely wouldn't want this to ruin our friendship,"
He gave her a small smile and enveloped her in one of his big bear hugs she secretly loved so much. She buried her head into his shoulder and allowed herself to breathe in his comforting scent, cursing herself for being such a coward. She wished the embrace could've gone on forever, but he broke it off much too soon.
"So," he said softly, squeezing her hand before letting go of her completely, "since it seems you've forgotten all about Downton Abbey, it looks like I get my backup choice today,"
"Not that Sherlock Holmes again, Fitz!"
"What? You love Sherlock Holmes!"
"Yes, but how many times must we watch the same version over and over again?"
"Well you should have thought of that before showing up late and seriesless, besides we haven't seen this new film yet,"
Simmons rolled her eyes half-heartedly as he slipped the disk into the DVD player. "For what its worth, I prefer John Watson as a character,"
"Agreed."
He put his arm round her once the opening credits started rolling, and she found herself drifting halfway through the first movie. She leaned her head against his chest in the darkened room, listening to the sound of his steady heartbeat as she lulled herself to sleep.
You'll have to tell him sooner or later, she told herself. But for now, she let them have that one little moment of peace.
A/N: So I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I've put it out there anyway so i can thank you guys for all the love. this is kind of a filler chapter before shit starts getting real, because next chapter will take place during the End of the Beginning and I have a few things planned for then ;) again, thank you for the follows and the reviews, I was quite nervous about publishing this story and they really motivate me to write quicker, so I hope I won't disappoint you!
Soph x