A/N: heads up, I've only read a few of the books and they aren't all in order, so I have no idea what the could-be spoilers may be, but I'm trying not to have any, so it may be a moot point.

The chapter blathers on quite a bit in Ranger's point of view, but honestly, I couldn't think of a better way to do this part. My hope is that you will find it to be as funny as I did.

Also, Thank you to all who reviewed, favorited, and followed this story so quickly after its' posting. I apologize for the delay, this should have been out months ago, but I forgot the start of this fic was even posted, and so my chapter-typing was delayed until yesterday.

Now, on to Ranger as a slight idiot!Warning: Moderate swearing and lots of stupidity.

The 'Babe' List

Chapter 2: The List

RPOV:

My shift is over and I can finally figure out what is on that iPod. I've always wanted to know why she had two, this one that she keeps hidden and the one everyone sees with her. For a while, I thought this one might be her back-up, but no matter how many times the other one got caught in a disaster, it never made an appearance.

Now that I finally have this in my hands, maybe I can figure out that last little piece of her that she's been able to hide from me. I just have to figure out the pass-code. Where's my pen? Ah! Now for paper. Alright, now to turn it on. It's letters, not numbers? That's odd. Rex is too short, same with Bob, Cupcake is too long -God I hate Morelli, is that really the best name he could think of? It's not one of the names my men gave her, they're all too long, it's not her birth month, it's not any month. Oh great, now I have to wait? Fine. I have to pee anyways.

Back to the pass-code! I am so glad my men can't see me right now. Pacing and pulling at my hair are not normal reactions for me. Tank, Bobby, and Lester would never let me live this down, they'd probably tell Babe and then she would laugh at me, too. Wait! Babe! I still haven't tried that! Damn, that wasn't it either. Well, her other one's pass-code is 6583, so what words can be made with the letters those have on a cell? Ok, there's three words that I can make there, love, mule, and told. Wrong, wrong, and wrong! Uuuugh. Now it's a longer wait? Maybe a beer will help. Now, what letters do they respond to in the alphabet? Hmm... 6 is F, 5 is E, 8 is H, and 3 is C. the only word that spells out is chef. I'll try that. As soon as this damn wait is up. At least I've only been up here for... four hours?!

Ok, chef worked, but why would that be her pass-code? She hates cooking. Actually, that's probably why. Now to find out what she has on here. There's only one play-list? That's strange, I wonder why? Well this is a strange mix of music, Don't Fear the Reaper, George Strait's Write This Down, Simple Plan's She Cries, Lonely No More, Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing, Hot for Teacher, Cheap Trick's I Want You to Want Me, Right Here Waiting, Cuts like a Knife, I Touch Myself by Devinlys(that was slightly disturbing), Cascada's One More Night and Every Time We Touch, What I Like About You, and The Eagles' version of Desperado. The last thing on here is a recording -I have no idea, when or how, she got it -of me saying "Proud of you, Babe."

Oh, hell... I've really fucked the whole situation up, haven't I? I haven't felt like this big an ass since high school! Maybe it's not to late to fix this. Steph can't find out I heard this though, not yet anyway. I'll have to hide it in her cubicle. At least with Lester stealing her hamster for a few days she's here more often than usual when running searches. More than likely she'll think it got left here. After that, I have got to fix this. But first, I think adding something to it may be necessary.

SPOV:

It's not too surprising that I didn't get any sleep last night, but at least now I'm too tired to panic. I spent two hours this morning combing my apartment building for it, but still couldn't find it. Later tonight I'm going to check my parents' house and if I don't find it there it's on to the bonds office and checking with Dougie and Mooner. I'd do it now, but Ranger has me doing searches for him. At least I have a reason to be at Rangeman and look for it.

I know it shouldn't really surprise me, but seeing Tank, Bobby and Lester playing with Rex when I stopped to check on him was really strange. I mean, they're these huge muscle-bound bad-asses who claim they don't do 'cute' or 'adorable' but there is honestly no other way to describe it, other than freaky.

Near the end of the day I decided it wouldn't hurt to check the drawers in my cubicle for my missing iPod. I almost started to panic again when I found it in the bottom drawer half hidden in a pile of papers. How did it get here? I finished up the search I was on then shut down the computer. I gathered up my stuff and headed towards Les's office to give him the results he had requested earlier in the day and say good-bye to Rex. All three of them were still playing with him. I don't think they got a thing done today to be honest.

Unknown(yeah, right) POV

She called us 'cute'! WE DON"T DO 'CUTE'! Just because she caught us training her hamster how to do the next task we need him to do does not mean she has the right to call us cute! I mean, sure, it looked like we were just playing with him but still. It's bad enough this is the only way we'll be able to get revenge for her after what Morelli did. I mean come on! He's the one that started the prank war! Like we wouldn't trace the baby powder volcano in her car back to him. At least Ranger's face when he found the iPod has been put into the scrapbook we're making for them with the picture of Rex leaving it on his desk. Talk about not being aware of your surroundings.

Alright, I know this is probably no surprise, but while writing this chapter I realised I can't write for this fandom. The characters don't want to give their own input on how the story should go. I have a basic outline for the next six chapters that no matter how hard I try, just won't flesh out. If there's someone reading this that wants to adopt the fic, PM Me, okay? If you want to use the outline you can. If not, I'm sure you'll write this much better than I.