Hi everyone, welcome to chapter two of Since You've Been Gone! Don't want to hold you up too much but I did want to mention a few flashbacks are mentioned so I hope you enjoy.
Thank you for the support already, it means the world. Now onto the story.
Meredith's irises sparkled. It was the most prominent thing Derek Shepherd captured as he first glanced at her. The emeralds gleamed like diamonds. Specks of periwinkle flakes haphazardly lie within her optic. Meredith's eyes were something he found himself getting lost in a lot of the time. They kept him sane.
"Sir?" This woman's accent rang his ear. Everything throbbed. From his head way down to his toes. Nothing made sense to him. He couldn't figure out exactly where he was or why he ended up here. Women dressed in mint scrubs surrounded his bedside. Pitiful glances fell toward his aching body.
Derek's waterline permeated with water. A feeling of tension churned through his abdomen. He was nervous. It was frightening, especially while women with ogling eyes who were practically drooling over the sight of him stared with wide orbs. If their eyes stretched any further they'd be freaking saucers or Bambi. "I don't... I don't know." He managed to gurgle. Words felt impossible. Mostly when his head was booming with agony.
"Oh no! Just relax. We um, we're going to run a few tests and then hopefully that will give a pretty good synopsis regarding where you stand health wise and then we can figure out the rest." She glimmered her pearly whites at him. They were so bright the imagery of her teeth nearly burned his retinas.
"Before we begin, I do want to ask if there is possibly anything you remember. I understand that right now speaking or moving at all is the last thing you probably want to do but we have not a clue who you may be."
His mind blanked. It was a strange feeling being cognizant of material objects or knowing who the president was. Albeit Derek had no a clue who he was himself. Frantically he blinked in an attempt to jump start his brain. Get the juices flowing, possibly spark a recollection. The repetitive blinking only introduced a headache and further dizziness. The woman he was currently convulsing with gave him a couple minutes to process her question. She didn't push and instead shot him a dainty grin, sitting in a chair adjacent to his bed.
In defeat Derek shook his head to answer "No." He really had not a clue who he was or what happened or why he might be in a hospital bed suffering memory loss. "I'm sorry. I-I don't know."
He's predicted this woman might be a nurse of some sort. Scribbling his replies to a notepad attached to a clipboard. The pen chimes in tune with the monitors softly beeping. "That's alright. We predicted there to be some kind of memory loss considering how long you've been out."
"Been out?" Had he slept a couple days past normal?
"Technically yes. In fact we initially found you in the morgue. They were transporting your body until our diener caught wind that you were breathing. It was bloody insane! We've never had a patient in the morgue found alive before."
Morgue? Diener? Breathing? Was he supposed to have been dead? His stomach tumbled. "Was I dead?"
She chuckles softly. "Well I don't think you were ever dead. I believe you were supposed to be dead. All we could figure out is that possibly you were mixed up with someone else but we haven't been able to figure out who. You were a transfer. No ID or any trace of where you truly belonged. We didn't look into it much though. Not when you've been in a vegetative state for a little over two years now."
His throat went dry. Two years in a coma? It frightened him to think he was supposed to be dead. If this much time has passed and no ones claimed him, could that really have been his fait? Was he supposed to be six feet underground? That idea nauseated Derek. Bile found the back of his throat but he kept the burning sensation at bay.
"I really am supposed to be dead aren't I?"
"I think so. That's why we assumed you were switched with someone else. We're thinking a male, someone who resembled you or else they would have caught the mistake. We've never received a phone call or any information since you've been here." A smile brimmed with pity finds her cheeks. "It's evident your physicians weren't great at their job. They sent you to the wrong transport and couldn't even tell that you were alive! How idiotic."
Painfully Derek swallows. He wants some water to quench his sandpaper throat. He licks his lips to give moisture back to the crusted flesh. "You really have no idea who I could be?" The painful reality was setting in.
His nurse's sympathy smile transitions to a frown. She shakes her head. "I'm afraid not. You only came with a bag of clothes covered in blood, a pair of black boots, and a wallet. When we found it, the staff thought it could give us some information but nothing came. No ID or credit cards present. We're thinking when they sent you off, whoever is your spouse collected them. You don't have a British accent either which I'm afraid to inform you could mean you're very far from home."
"Wait, how do you know I have a spouse." He blinks.
"There was a lot of cash in your wallet and a picture stuck in one of the folds. Hold on." His blonde caretaker sets her clipboard down on the cushion of her seat. Making a beeline around his bed, he can listen as she rummages through a plastic bin. "Ah! Here we go. When we found you there was a photograph of you and a girl in your wallet. No one on staff recognized her. Maybe if you look at the picture it might jog your memory."
She passed over the crumpled picture. Dried blood stains and torn edges detailed the tiny photo. A fellow with dark curls whom he assumes could be himself and a woman. She was mesmerizing. Honey blonde tendrils and a few darker strands sloped down her face and over her shoulders. She was preening like a peacock. Her rosy cheeks smashed against his. The tiniest snout coated in freckles scrunched around her eyes. It was the irises that caught his attention. Green with specks of blue. Her orbs were shining, even through the worn paper of the photograph. This mystery woman was entrancing.
"She's beautiful." Derek husks. The pad of his thumb combs over her tiny face. The picture was a Polaroid and the couple seemed to be lying in a bed together. Dark silk eclipsed them in the picture. "But I don't remember her. I-I feel like there's memories. In my heart I know this woman but I don't know who she is."
"That's okay. You have time to think about it. I'm going to inform your doctor you're awake. That way we can run a couple scans to see if any further procedures need to happen."
It was crazy just a simple photograph kept him sane through his journey of amnesia in London. There'd been many occasions he felt useless while there. A multitude of times he felt like giving up was the only option available. It was difficult not throwing in the towel or raising his imaginary white flag. Especially after a year had gone by with not a soul claiming him and not a single recollection. No memories that would help him home anyways.
Derek felt determined to find his mystery girl. Whether his memories came soaring back or they didn't. Except when he had not a clue who he himself might be, it made that process difficult.
The time spent overworking his body through physical therapy and researching blonde girls with green eyes paid off as he stood just a couple feet from the woman he now knows as the love of his life.
Meredith was even more gorgeous than the day he departed. If he remembers promptly, her locks were darker than they were now. The last time he laid eyes on her before this moment was their languorous kiss at the threshold of their home.
Wait for me he'd said.
Her skin still pale and doted by more freckles than he could keep track. Beautiful nonetheless. Her hair lighter now. The stark hospital lightly reflects off the golden tendrils. She's glowing. He's quite sure she's swamped by confusion just like everyone else gaping in the exam room. Firstly, Derek wants her to know that his disappearance wasn't planned. Not something he counted on even desired to happen. Never would he purposely subtract himself from his wife and two children.
Slinking away from Amelia's firm hold, he hops off the table. On wobbly knees Derek trails to his wife. Meredith doesn't move or even make a peep. She's silent and stiff as his arms encircle her. Their bodies mesh like missing puzzle pieces. The familiar feeling of embracing with Meredith swirls back into existence. He relinquishes a heavy sigh of satisfaction. After so long apart, he now gets a chance to replenish the loneliness in his heart.
The scent of her hair draws him in. Lavender. His wife still seems to adore lavender conditioner. The skin of her body is warm, somewhat dewy, supple. His fingers trap in her long waves. Their embrace is almost perfection besides the fact Meredith's silhouette is tighter than a screw in a door jam. Most always their hugs soothed tension coiling. She did this for him as he did for her. A give and take of all sorts.
Except this time Meredith wasn't a pile of gooey warmth. She was rigid. Gently, Derek tugs away from the embrace and frowns. "Mer?" Derek whispers. The skin of his thumb strums her pink cheek.
Meredith cups her hand overtop of his. Their fingers intertwine like a basket. His wife squeezes. "Is this a dream?" She asks. Seriousness blankets her dazzling irises. Their usual glimmer is now gray, stormy, confused.
It breaks Derek to think he's broken her. He's been away for so long. Does he even know this Meredith at all? "Oh god no, Meredith this is real. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Derek squeezes her back. His skin constricting so hard his knuckles transform to pasty white.
"You're supposed to be dead, Derek. I watched you die in front of me. They buried you." Meredith begins to sob. The tears he hated seeing fall found their way down her skin. Even a mere glimpse of the woman he loved breaking apart made his stomach churn. Meredith Grey did not deserve pain.
He shoved their audience to the side, uncaring if they witnessed the heavy moment between the two.
GA
Meredith Grey is most definitely dreaming. The notion that her husband whom she personally watched succumb to the siren call of death was now here, with his two arms encased like wrapping paper around her chest. Derek was brain dead. That's exactly what Perfect Penny explained to her just moments after she admitted to killing her husband. Derek was Penny's screwup. The screwup who was supposed to be gone like the wind.
Except he was here. Holding her. Making her feel as though not a single moment had passed since he last embraced her this way. She wasn't supposed to be greeted by a miracle dream the way Nathan Riggs had. His case was completely different from her own. Megan was lost. They never found a body. A death pronounced simply by assumption, no facts.
Derek was a fact. He was really a freaking fact. She remembers his chest collapsing. Those final few breaths. At least, that's what she thought. She wanted to pinch herself or maybe Alex would do it. Was Meredith Grey finally nuts or had Alzheimer's caught up with her.
"Are you sure I'm not dreaming?" She hiccuped against the cotton of her supposed to be dead-as-a-door-nail husband. His chest was solid. Maybe not as rock hard or secure the last time she lie her head to his pectoral, but solid enough to keep her afloat.
Derek nods quietly, pushes back the bangs dangling across her glossy optics, and presses the softest of kisses to her forehead. "I'm here. I came home." He repeats.
None of this makes sense to her and she's still unsure exactly what the hell happened. But for now, Meredith finds solace in the security blanket of Derek Shepherd's grip.
"You know you're a Derek hog, right?" Meredith hears Amelia pipe somewhere in the background, sarcasm dripping. She only snorts at her sister's snarky commentary.
"Weren't you the Derek hog five minutes ago when hugging him like your life depended on it?" She quirked a brow. Brushing the stray tears from her cheek, Meredith steps away. A shaky breath escapes. She's let go and he's still standing next to her. Her visceral abandonment issues bet on it and poof! her Derek would be gone.
But he wasn't.
There he stood with a toothy grin and glossy eyes.
"Well I'm the one who found him standing at the nurses station like an idiot."
"Actually." Derek countered. "Some scrawny intern found me- ah, crashed into me actually. In fact, Amy, he was doing something for you. Dr. Schmitt I believe?"
Meredith twisted her gaze to her sister-in-law. It was challenging not to bust into giggles. Albeit she tampered the chortle fest.
"Glasses?" Amelia cocked her head at her brother. "He's almost as dumb as you are." Derek only rolled his eyes at the comments made by his little sister.
"I think he had glasses, yes."
"No, Derek." Meredith pressed her palm to his clavicle. Her gaze caught wind of the multitude of scarring near his collarbone. "We call him glasses because his well, glasses, fell inside a patient once. He really isn't the brightest of this intern group."
If it weren't for the staring faces, Meredith yearned to reach up and stroke his wounds. She was more than aware he'd been pummeled by a semi but seeing that his scarring was still this intense made her gut knot like a pretzel. She had so many questions. A pile so high the tip of her head might combust if she thinks up anymore. Besides the flashing neon sign practically bulging out everyone's caverns, why the freaking hell are you here?, there was a slew of different things still unknown. For instance his cane, why was Derek hobbling around with a cane?
Meredith decided against poking the bear. Not in this setting while everything was so critical to begin with. "Holy shit, glasses, literally inside of a patient?" Derek seemed bewildered by the new revelation. It made Meredith realize there was so much her husband had not a clue about.
The dream house, her Harper Avery award, Ellis-
Ellis. Derek didn't know he was a father to a third little chatty Shepherd child. So much had changed since he was last here. He also was unknowing that her boyfriend was ten years younger than she was or that she had a boyfriend at all.
It seemed that he wasn't the only one who had explaining to get done.
"Yep, it was actually Dr. Karev's patient, well Jo Karev, not Alex."
Derek's attention split to the Karev's who'd been patiently watching this entire ordeal go down over the last ten minutes. Jo pressed the hospital gown closer to her chest while Derek gazed with curiosity. "You two got married? Karev committed to someone?"
"Haha, hilarious Shepherd." Alex folded his arms. "I'll have you know I'm doing real well for myself. I have a hot wife and I'm chief."
Derek's orbs were saucers. "Chief? Meredith they made him chief before you?" Alex and Amelia scoffed. She could see Jo doing her best to suppress her laughter over the statement. Her husband was just as blunt as before the accident.
"Interim Chief. Shepherd you know you're not Chief because you're busy playing house with Hunt and Grey over here is up to her neck making progress with mini livers alongside Mrs. Karev." Bailey intervened.
"Not really playing house anymore." Amelia mumbled beneath her breath. Ever since news broke that Teddy was carrying Owen Hunt's baby, Meredith was cognizant her sister hadn't taken the news quite well. She didn't particularly show off her emotions when it came to the situation but a gloomy cloud was following Amelia around no doubt.
"Bailey is actually Chief." Meredith smirked. She watched as her husband lit up only to shake his head as if to say, "Why am I not surprised?" it hadn't come much as a shocker to herself when Bailey took the job. It's not like that women didn't deserve it. For the entirety of her own career at Grey-Sloan, formerly Seattle Grace, Dr. Miranda Bailey made it evident she was the boss. Hell, there'd been numerous occasions Bailey ruled over Derek even when he was her attending.
"Karev had nothing going on per-usual I had to pick him."
"Hey!" Alex piped somewhere from the back. "I have plenty going on. I'm a married man, damnit." Jo pressed her lips to her husbands cheek and nodded at the acknowledgment. It still baffled Meredith that she was so entranced by Alex Karev. The same Alex Karev who spent most of his residency and partial bit of the fellowship hooking up with any woman he could feast on.
Bailey mumbled something under her breath but made it evident she was seeking that others hear her comment. The shorter woman rested a hand on Derek's forearm. "While all this chitchatting has been fun, you still need some scans and bloodwork done. God only knows what hellhole you ended up in. Grey, you're off the clock until further notice. I can't have you crying tears of joy into random strangers open abdomens."
"I'm Chief, I should get to call whether or not Mer is allowed to leave work." It was quite clear her person was doing all that he could to make a statement in front of Derek. It humored her to think Alex wanted to impress his former boss.
"Damnit Karev you're an interim chief! I only appointed you to take the stress load off of myself but it's still not working. I'm still Chief over all and if I say Grey isn't going to work, she isn't!" Alex didn't peep again regarding who really held the Chief position.
Maybe she'll miss being at work for a while but at least the leave of absence gives her the chance to reconnect with Derek and get to the bottom of what actually went down over the last couple years. "I'm serious. McDreamy, you can ogle over your wife after you put on that damn hospital gown and get a CT scan I don't want to hear a single complaint out of you. I swear to god you'd think maybe you fools would do as I say for once." Bailey exits the exam room, continuing the rant for remaining staff huddled outside the door to hear.
"Get back to your jobs people! Go save some lives!" Meredith can hear Bailey hiss. The noise of sneakers squeaking against the floor permeate Meredith's eardrum. She snickers.
"I see Bailey is still raging huh?"
"Oh yeah." Says Meredith. "Total Nazi criteria around here." She laughs and it feels good to know her euphoria stems from Derek.
The last three years had been a roller coaster of emotional depression any time Derek's name came up in conversation. With every bit of strength she held, all Meredith yearned for was a fresh start. To live in a world that didn't consume her with memories of her late husband. Now all she wanted was to think of him, be with him, tell him she really does love him through and through.
GA
Never could Derek have imagined watching one of the tiniest women he knew devour such a large cheeseburger make him this giddy. The feeling was almost unnatural. He felt like a teenage boy again, prowling after the hottest cheerleader in his grade. Only difference was then Emily Walters rejected him and his "hot cheerleader" these days was a blonde munching on carbs and fat. Not that it mattered anyways. Meredith's metabolism was so high she could inhale a whole buffet and not gain a single pound.
The dim lamp light illuminating his hospital room provided enough light just to watch his woman eat dinner. She lie at his bedside, curled against his side, knees resting over his blanket clad lap. Just as Bailey demanded, Richard, Alex, and Jo were helpful to prepare scans, bloodwork, and other tests deemed of important.
None of the tests gave him an ounce of information he didn't already know. His brain clearly wasn't fucked up considering he was verbalizing and communicating just fine. The only thing that could've been seen as a red flag was the amplified coma and amnesia. His faulty memory lasted almost a year. Up until a week ago when things started piecing together. No one could begin to imagine how hard it was residing in a strange, foreign city with no memory of who he was.
The only thing Amelia countered was damage to his primary motor cortex. He figured so after the entirety of his memory returned. His poor motor function in the legs wasn't much of a shock. He can remember whilst staying in the Lambeth Hospital back in London that whatever accident he'd been in jammed his skull big time. Amelia insisted with a little more physical therapy he might regain eighty five percent function rather than the current seventy five he was dealing with. Even then, his chances of standing in on a twelve hour surgery seemed thin.
Work wasn't something he thought much about after flying into Seattle last night. Yes, Derek relished his profession of neurosurgery more than anything. But with the brain mapping fiasco in mind, it wasn't much of a let down knowing big operations weren't likely in his future. Working as a neurologist and performing craniotomy's weren't the end of the world. Those things still saved millions of people's lives everyday.
The late night news was white noise to Derek. He leant over to rest his head on Meredith's crown, eyelids dipping. He still wanted to question her about their house and this apparent boyfriend she had. Not that he seemed to matter considering Meredith had been at Derek's side like superglue the entire day.
"You sure you don't want any?" Meredith brushed the remnants of ketchup from her upper lip with the guidance of her wrist.
Derek snorted but shook his head no. "I had a sandwich. The meds they gave me to manage the pain in my joints makes me tired anyways. Not really up for food right now."
His wife didn't question it. She shrugged and went back to indulging on her burger. Trickling his fingers down her spine, he slipped the tips of his fingers beneath her navy scrubs. Skin to skin. He stroked her warm flesh. "Weren't you scared?" Her voice sounds so small, so out of character.
"Scared when?" Derek retorts.
"You said you had amnesia. When you woke up, you had not a clue who you were or what happened. That has to be terrifying."
He can spot the terror in her own eyes. Being truthful it had been a nightmare. Feeling so helpless was agonizing. It was even worse being cognizant not a soul was looking for him. Not when he people thought he'd died. The last thing Derek seeks is to worry her. Clearly his wife has gone to hell and back over the last couple years. He doesn't want to add on to her stress with a tale of how gruesome it had been.
"Yes... it was scary. But I knew I'd eventually remember who I was. Someone would find me or I'd find them. Not to mention a couple minutes after I woke up they found a picture of us lodged in the back fold of my wallet." Derek beamed. That Polaroid was not only meaningful because the then pretty woman with sparkling green irises kept his sanity over the last year, but since regaining memory the overall meaning of that picture was all the more special.
The night before he was scheduled to fly out to D.C. and tie a few loose ends, Meredith and Derek were fooling around in bed. The only benefit of fighting was the great makeup sex that followed. That's exactly what the two had been up to since reconciling a week before.
"Let me go with you." Meredith pleaded, wrapped in a thin gray sheet.
Derek shook his head. "No, Mer, you gotta work. Be here with the kids I promise this time I'm coming back for good." He really was coming back to Seattle full time. Being the head of a brain mapping initiative wasn't everything. Meredith Grey was his everything and losing her would cost him much more than a fucking career.
His wife huffed but nodded. He was right. "Fine, but when you get back there better be some sex." She winked at him. Her sheet fell, revealing every inch of her glory to his naked eye.
"Yes, dear." Derek purrs in delight rolling over her body to begin another round of bountiful love making with his gorgeous wife.
Their carnal games extended well into the night and early morning hours. Derek relished his lover and was determined to show her that verbally and physically. The Polaroid first came about after Derek joked about wanting a few sultry poses of Meredith to keep him fed until returning. His antics received a swat to the shoulder and a playful nip at his bottom lip.
"There's no way in hell I'm letting you carry around porny pictures of me in your back pocket!"
"Not in my pocket, Mer. The photos would be in my wallet." Another hit to his clavicle but maybe he really had deserved that one.
"You're a perv you know." His wife teased.
"Not a perv." Derek insisted. "Just infatuated by my wife is all." And he really was. Just the mere sight of Meredith made him go all goopy on the inside. She came in and turned his world off it's axis. She was the reason he started living again after life became bland and worthless ten years ago. "Seriously, Mer, one picture."
Meredith sat up and grabbed one of the king pillows from behind her body. "Why? So you can show your prestigious brain mapping colleagues your hot wife's boobs?" She taunts.
"Haha, funny. First, they aren't my colleagues anymore I don't work there now. Second, if I had pictures of my wife's boobs I definitely wouldn't be sharing. I want you all to myself." Derek leant over to his bedside table. Pulling the drawer out, he rummaged through the pile of junk, plucking his old Polaroid from the back.
He watched while her eyes scanned the object. "Seriously, no porny photos."
"It doesn't have to be porny. I'll even be in the picture with you if that makes you feel better."
"You mean the one we took before you left?" Meredith gazes at him with curious eyes. Her finger danced across his collarbone, tinkering with the thin material of his hospital gown.
"Yeah." Derek coos. Meredith's dinner forgotten, he pushes a dangling strand of hair behind her ear. Tilting his head to meet her lips, they touch softly, timidly. Their lip lock is pretty PG. something small but meaningful. Only lasting a few short seconds, Derek brushes his nose against the space between Meredith's brows.
He thinks he might just be on cloud nine.
"Hey, Der?" Meredith whispers.
"Uh huh?"
Meredith's lips migrated to his earlobe. Her breath pulsed at his skin. He could feel her grinning. "Maybe when you're up to it, I could let you take porny boob pictures this time around."
He was a fit of laughter after that one. Even Meredith joined in, clasping her hand across her cavern to cusp the giggles. "Oh god." Derek sighed. "Seriously?" Lifting his brow.
"It was a freaking joke! God I swear even hospitalized you're insatiable."
Derek let himself drift with that comment.
I really like this chapter. I want to make something clear, the premise of this story is to revive Derek's character. While yes, there will be turbulence and drama, I genuinely know if Derek were to return in real life Meredith would most definitely go back to him no question. She wouldn't stay with Deluca or any other fling she's had. Derek Shepherd is the love of her life she's even said so herself.
I was overwhelmed and overjoyed by the amount of love you guys gave the first chapter. Never has one of my stories been so popular first chapter like this. This is a plot line I've had to think about for months now and I feel overjoyed that I get to share it with all of you who adore MerDer.
For those who have left guest reviews, I wish I could send you a PM and thank you for the kind words. Those who sent reviews from your accounts I am going to send thank you's!
Also someone mentioned that they hoped the title of this story wasn't based off the song and it's not! The title just happens to be the same as the song ironically. While Meredith and Derek are going to have to work at their marriage as they always did in the show, I could never purposely separate them.
Again your support on this is magical. It's what gave me inspiration to write another chapter for today! I can't wait to dive in deeper and fit Derek in with these current characters and give him a plot line that matters. Also, anything medical I've googled and if it's incorrect I'm sorry. Coma's can last several years or so I've read and usually when a patient is unplugged, it takes them a while for their heart to quit beating or they stop breathing. In Derek's case what we're going with is that they just didn't catch the mistake. I've read cases of those were pronounced brain dead came back fine. I didn't want to write a story where his brain was permanently damaged as I've seen it done before.
Thank you again. Any reviews help so much I enjoy feedback. You guys are wonderful.