A/N: Sorry it took a bit, but here it is! 5200+ words for your wait :) Don't forget to check my profile, I'm on twitter and post updates about this story and others there. I've also added a couple of photos to my photobucket for this story more to come.
Chapter 1
Walking back into the house, he could hear his father's hushed voice in the kitchen. As soon as the door slapped the frame, the receiver was quickly placed back down and the squeaking of his chair let Jake know that he was moving around in the kitchen. Walking through the worn down house, Jake was surprised when he rounded the corner and saw his dad's face; it was almost pale and he looked as though he was about to be ill. As he made his way toward Billy the scent of leech hit Jake. Without even thinking, his fists balled and he scanned the room, his was wolf clawing to get out at the threat. It had been days since the leech doctor had been there to check on him, his stench had long since gone. Jake's eyes caught sight of the off-white slip of paper on the table. By the time he had strode over to the table the stench was almost unbearable. Jake knew what this was. With shaking hands he picked up the paper and skimmed over the paper and the little note that was left in the envelope. Before he knew it, he was running, running from the sight of that farce of a wedding invitation. It was so overly done and so not Bella, but the words printed so neatly on that thick cardstock had sliced right through him, shredding his heart into a million little pieces. He could hear his father yelling behind him to stop, but he couldn't. Jake had to get away from this place, the place where he had so quickly fallen in love with Bella Swan and just as quickly lost her.
Jake could feel the heat licking up his spine as he ran out of the house, through the freezing rain and toward the woods, his wolf itching to break free. His father's worried shouts lost to him. The wolf took over as soon as he was in the cover of the tree line. The transformation was such a surprise he thought it was going to hurt like hell, having not fully recovered, but phasing like that was an instant relief. It was like a weight had been lifted off of him and then he was running; faster than he had ever run in his life. The beast inside had completely taken over for the first time since he had phased and Jacob felt himself giving himself over to it, letting the heart broken boy curl up deep inside.
Jake had gotten half way across the rez when a howl rang out. Not long after, Leah's voice was in his head screaming at him. He only pushed himself harder and faster, he knew he had to get away before she was able to catch up with him. Just as he was about to leap across the creek that divided Quileute lands from the Cullens' territory, Leah's wolf slammed into him and she shouting a string of curses at him. The only words that actually registered were "war," "tribe" and "protect." Rolling back onto his paws in one swift movement, Jake took off again, skirting the border between the two lands, leaving Leah limping behind.
When the smell of the Cullen territory was long since forgotten, Jake's wolf slowed from a flat out run to a steady pace, still taking him away from his only home. He had never tried to leave La Push before, even though Jake and every wolf in the pack often dreamed of it, they wouldn't dare. Going as far as Port Angeles always made his wolf uneasy if he were away too long. Jake didn't know where he was headed, he was letting his wolf guide him at that point. The further away he got from Quileute land, the more at ease and stable he seemed to be.
Jake had been running for days; he was tired and worn down, his paws were split open, and the fur that wasn't matted on his back was missing from struggling to get through the brier bushes. He didn't know how far he had run, but what Jake did know was that he felt free. The pain where is heart should have been was still there, but the heavy weight that had followed him around since he had had phased was gone. Jake couldn't hear anything but his own thoughts; he hadn't been able to since his second day of running. It was an odd feeling, being alone in wolf form. The wolf stirred inside of him uneasily, but even more so, it rejoiced at being alone. He was more relived to not have anyone in his head at the moment; he didn't want any of his pack brothers or sister to have to deal with his.
As the wolf finally slowed, Jake took in his surroundings. He was somewhere in the mountains, the snow was barely covering the tops, but it was still there. Looking out before him, Jake noticed a small town off in the distance, but there was no cover. The land was barely rolling with hardly any trees, his wolf whined wanting to go closer, itching to explore this town. Fighting back the urge, he turned and headed back toward the cover of the mountains; maybe when it got dark.
Jake was uneasy as he walked across the open plain. Heading toward town under the cover of night, he wanted to kick himself for phasing the way he had. Not that he was uncomfortable being naked, but all he really needed at this point was to be caught naked streaking toward town. His ass would be either in jail or shipped back to La Push in a second. He didn't know if it was the lack of human contact, the fact that he was sick of eating tiny animals in wolf form or the thought of human food even if he had to pick it out of the trash. Whatever it was, it was enough for Jake to risk being caught right now.
The town was busier than Jake thought it would be; he could hear cars roaring around, music blaring and teenagers hooting and hollering. Ducking behind what little trees he could find, he came upon an old two-story house. In the back yard, Jake sighed in relief when he saw that there were clothes still hanging on the line. He had never stolen anything, but he needed clothes to get around in public, even if it was a pair of jeans that were clearly going to be too short and a plaid t-shirt that was going to be too tight, he was starving.
As Jake hopped around trying to get himself into the too-tight jeans, he didn't realize that someone was watching him, he didn't realize still when he ripped the pants at the knee or when he fought on the plaid shirt. Just as he was about to step out of the back yard a throat cleared, which had him almost phasing on the spot. Turning around, his teeth bared, Jake saw an old woman. Clearly native, she was tiny, as tiny as Bella, the thought sent a shot through his heart and he winced. She was short, but her jet black hair was practically dragging the ground as she stood holding onto her beaded cane.
She stood looking at him and he at her, Jake had the urge to run, surely this old lady was going to call the cops on him, but then she spoke, her voice coming out raspy, "Oki."
Jake turned fully toward her, repositioning so he wasn't standing at full height. He began to speak, but nothing came out. It shouldn't have been a shock to him, all he had done for the past however many days was howl, snarl and whine in wolf form. Clearing his throat, he attempted again, "I don't know what that means."
The lady merely waved her cane toward the house, turned and walked toward the open back door. Jake looked around the yard, his wolf was itching to run, to get away. He didn't want to go back to La Push yet and he wanted food. Jake, on the other hand, felt bad for stealing and ripping up this old lady's clothes. Craning his neck back to look at the stars in the sky, he wondered why him. With a huff, Jake quickly strode toward the door.
By the time Jake had gotten through the door, there was a plate of food sitting on the table along with a tall glass of milk. His eyes widened and before he knew it he was sitting in the chair shoveling food in his mouth like a Neanderthal. The food was warm, spicy and so good, the cold milk going down his throat made it easier for him to swallow the spoonfuls that he was shoving down. The old lady sat across the table, watching him in wonder. When his plate was almost empty, she pushed a basket of bread toward him and he ate that too.
When his plate was empty and the bread was gone, another plate was sat in front of him. It was some kind of pie. Jake reached toward it with his hands, but the lady coughed and his head snapped up. She didn't look angry or disgusted at him, she merely nodded her head toward the fork that was still sitting on his plate. Grabbing the fork, Jake dug in eating the pie much slower than he had the rest of the food. He was halfway through the pie when her chair scrapped across the wooden floor, "I'm Sarah-" that was as far as she got before Jake was chocking on his food and his fork was almost sucked into his mouth.
Sarah moved as quickly as she could around the table and with more strength than Jake thought possible she was beating on his back, the food and fork came out and he starred at her with wide eyes over his shoulder. She looked confused and a little worried at his reaction to her name, then her brows pinched and her eyes wondered down to her hand that was still on his back.
"You are sick young one?"
Wiping the food from his mouth Jake shook his head, "No."
"You are," it wasn't a statement Jake wanted to fight with. He knew why she was asking, her hand had to have been burning up by that point. So instead he shook his head yes.
She nodded at him and then pointed toward the kitchen table, "your mess," and then she pointed toward the sink. Jake was still looking at her over his shoulder with wide eyes, he nodded his head in agreement, still stunned that the lady had caught him stealing her clothes and then invited him into her house and fed him.
Sarah nodded her head toward a door off the kitchen, "the second floor there's a room and a bed." With that, Sarah shuffled out of the room. Not long after he head a door click close and then the creaking of bed springs.
Looking around the kitchen, Jake took everything in. The kitchen was twice the size of his, the table was old and worn as were the cabinets. The appliances were old. The refrigerator looked like something out of the 50's, it had a single door but it was humming along nicely. The stove had the same vintage look to it, as did the single basin cast iron sink. Picking up his dishes, he made his way over to the sink and began to clean.
Later that night, Jake was laying in a bed that was bigger than his own back on the rez, but he couldn't sleep. The light from the moon was streaming in through the thin curtains and he could see the stars shining. His wolf felt uneasy. He wanted to be out there in the mountains, but Jake wanted this, to be inside, under cover in the warmth of a home, not on damp, rocky ground. He could hear Sarah's light, slow breathing below him and he couldn't help but wonder how old she was, and why she actually let him stay in her house.
The sun shining on Jakes face woke him, rolling onto his stomach, he stretched in the bed, groaning and gripping the pillow. God it felt good to actually sleep in a bed and not have to worry about something sneaking up on him in the middle of the night. As he lay on his stomach, enjoying the feeling of the bed he could hear dishes being clanked around downstairs. With a grunt, he pushed himself off the bed and headed toward the door.
Stepping off the last step Jake pushed open the door and caught sight of Sarah trying to haul a small bag of potatoes up on the counter. Making his way across the kitchen in three long strides, he grabbed the bag from her carefully and sat it on the counter; she jumped a little when his hand brushed hers, but continued about her work. Jake stood at the counter watching her, waiting for her to tell him what to do. Finally with a huff she looked at him, almost annoyed and pointed toward the door, "if you want eggs they're in the barn."
Walking out the back door, he could already hear the chickens clucking. As he made his way into the barn the wide-spread clucking turned to mayhem and the chickens started flapping around. They were running around in their pen jumping all over each other trying to fight their way toward the back corner. The closer Jake got to the pen the more huddled the ball of chickens got, and then it clicked and he couldn't help but chuckle as he grabbed the basket off the wall and gathered an entire basket full of eggs for breakfast. As soon as he stepped out of the barn the commotion died back down, Jake's wolf wanted nothing more than to go back into the barn and eat one of the chickens just because it could.
Walking back into the house, Jake made his way to the sink while Sarah stood at the stove. Washing the eggs, he took the entire dozen over to her and sat them down. She looked at him, let her eyes scan down the length of his body and then began cracking the eggs into the skillet.
A dozen eggs, four large pancakes, five pieces of butter bread and three glasses of milk later, Jake sat at the kitchen table looking at Sarah, waiting for her to say something. She cleared her throat but didn't speak, only watched him. She could tell he was uncomfortable under her gaze, but Sarah was a woman of few words, and even though she had found him naked hopping around in her back yard stealing her late husband's clothes, there was something about the boy that had her fighting the urge to get the shot gun hidden safely behind the kitchen door.
"Your name, child?"
Jake's eyes shot to hers once more, just as he was about to tell her his name, something stopped him, "Ephraim," it wasn't really a lie was it? Jacob wasn't the person that he was any more, his great grandfather was more in tune with his wolf that his human, so why wouldn't Jake decide to take his name instead of his own.
"You're not Blackfoot?"
Jake cocked his head to the side wondering just where it was that he was trying to remember, what part of the country the Blackfoot Reservation was on, he came up with nothing, "I'm Quileute from La-"
"I know of the Quileute," Sarah said stopping him mid-sentence.
"You do?" Jake asked wondering just how she knew of his tribe.
She didn't elaborate though, only shook her head at his question. "Well Ephraim, since you've stolen and destroyed my late husband's clothing, ate a dozen of my eggs that I would normally sell at the local market and scared the death of my chickens I'd say you owe me something in return?"
Jake's head hung at the knowledge that he had, for one thing stolen something; Billy would surly string him up if he ever found out, and second, knowing that it was her late husband's clothing. Jake was almost beside himself.
Sarah looked at the boy as he hung his head and felt sorry for him, "he's been gone twenty years."
Jake's head was still hung low, even after hearing her admission he felt guilty, anything that would make it right he would do.
"Whatever you need from me I'm willing to do, to pay you back for what I've done."
"My barn needs repainted. The paint is in the shed beside it. I expect you can be finished by dinner at six."
"It will be done, but I don't think I'll be staying for-"
"You will, now go. The day is half over."
Jake stood slowly from the chair and began to gather the dirty dishes in front of him before one of Sarah's worn hands slapped his away, and then pointed toward the door. With a nod, Jake left the kitchen. When he got out to the shed and flipped the lid off the paint the snorted at the irony of it all. Here he was, who knows how far away from his own home, but the paint in front of him had him going back. The rich red paint that filled the bucket made him think of his father, of his own little red house back on the rez and then he thought of Bella, wondering if she was with the leech right at that same exact moment, whether or not she was dead, alive or married. With a growl Jake slammed the paint brush into the paint and then on the side of the barn watching as the red flowed.
Sarah woke up one morning and sat at the table waiting for Jacob to join her, he had been with her for a few weeks already. The longer she sat at the table, the longer she wondered where the boy was. She looked at the second floor door and wondered if she could actually make up to see if he was OK. The longer the boy had been with her, the more her heart went out to him. She could see a sadness in his eyes that she knew well. It was one that she wore after she lost both of her children, and the same one she wore when she had lost her husband years ago. He was deeply saddened by something, but so unwilling to open up.
She hadn't had anyone in her house on the constant for five years and although she didn't mind being alone, it took some adjusting.
The last time they talked, she asked him why he had reacted to her name the way he had the first night and as a single tear ran down his cheek. He told her the story of his mother and how he lost her and finally he told her that his mother's name was Sarah. That was all that they had spoken to each other that day, it was he who stood from the table and went about doing her normal chores, keeping a safe distance between them.
When her legs started to get numb, Sarah gripped her cane and stood from her seat. The boy still hadn't come down from his room. She was worried about him. Last night she had gone too far asking him why there was no light in his eyes, he made an odd noise that startled her before he told her in a tone she had never heard, much less thought she would, that he wasn't talking about it with a stranger. She went to bed that night both regretting her question and hurt at his tone.
When Sarah finally made it to the last step she was panting and the grip that she had on her husband's old walking stick was so tight that her frail fingers were pulsing with blood. Thankfully, the room that he had chosen was the one right off the steps, otherwise she wasn't sure if she would had made it very far. Pushing the door open, her heart sank a little at the sight. The bed was empty and tightly made. He hadn't been back since he had stridden out the backdoor after their talk. As she made her way into the room searching for any sign of him her body grew tired, she knew she would have to rest before anything else was done.
When she awoke some hours later the boy was sitting in her old rocking chair, elbows on his knees head hung low. "I'm not dead," she muttered taking a steady breath in as she braced herself to push up from the bed. He was at her side in an instant with a hot hand on her elbow and one on her back helping her sit.
"I know, I could hear you breathing. I'm sorry."
"You didn't come back last night?"
"I couldn't. I had to just, I had to clear my head." Truth was Jake couldn't come back last night because once again he was naked. Her telling Jake that there wasn't a light in his eyes was something he knew Bella would have said to him. The moment he was out the back door he had phased and run off toward the mountains, his wolf once again taking over.
"We won't speak of it again until you are ready."
Nodding his head Jake helped Sarah to her feet and toward the door, "I think that would be best, at least for now."
She nodded her head back in response and let him help her down the stairs.
One year. Jacob had already been living away from the rez and with Sarah for an entire year. It was strange still, being away from his homeland, away from his people. Sometimes when he was in the mountains running at night, he would phase back human and look toward the West and wonder what the pack was doing, and on an even rarer occasion he would let his mind wander to Bella.
In the course of the year he and Sarah had grown close enough that Jake almost thought of her as the grandmother he never knew. She would nitpick at the things he did as much as Billy would, but she would sit and listen to him with an open mind as well. One night after Jake had been with her for six months she finally asked him about his family. When he told her about his father she shared a few choice words with him about not calling him in so long and then she shared the story of how she lost her children. Then she stood and forced him to call Billy, threatening to kick him out of her house if he didn't. He had been talking to Billy almost every night since.
When Jacob found Sarah in his bed after he phased the first time, she looked so pale and frail. He was truly worried about her, but phasing was something that Jake needed to do to calm his wolf, especially if he was going to be sharing any part of his past with her. After finding her that morning, Jacob made sure to tell her when he planned to run so she wouldn't worry about him in the middle of the night. Sarah would nod her head and quirk her brow but she never asked him any questions. For that he was grateful.
Walking into the house, Jacob made his way to the phone to call Billy. Before he was able to reach the receiver, Sarah's hand stopped him, "I'd like to talk to you about something Ephraim, if that's ok?"
Jacob shook his head but wondered what it was they were going to be talking about. Was she tired of him, had he over stayed his welcome and Sarah was going to tell him it was time to leave?
Jacob turned and sat at the kitchen table, time to face the inevitable. It was crazy of Jake to think that this woman would actually let him stay here forever; did he really want to stay here forever?
"I'll be out by this afternoon, Sarah I really appreciate you letting me stay here as long as you ha-"
"Oh shush boy you're talking crazy, but you may want to leave after I have my say."
Jacob sat straighter in his chair, this really wasn't sounding good.
"You've been here a year Ephraim, and you're a good boy, I know that, but there's something wrong with you. Something in all these months you haven't told me, but I need to know now if I'm going to let you stay here with me, and I like you here, you remind me of my son."
Jacob swallowed the lump in his throat, was he really willing to share his secret with her? Would he even be able to? Sam had ordered him at one time to tell no one about the legends, but he hadn't heard Sam or any of the pack in over a year. Would he really be able to tell her, did he really want too? She was an old woman; it would probably scare her to death.
He looked up at her across the table. He could see the worry etched on her face, her hands were crossed laying one on top of the other and she was waiting. The longer the he looked at her the more upset Jacob got. The wolf, of course, wanted to run. If someone else didn't want them then they didn't want them either, but Jake wanted to stay here with her. He hadn't felt like someone actually cared about him and his needs since his mother died. Not that Billy made him feel unwanted, but the twins left when Jake was thirteen years old and since then he was taking care of his dad. Before that the twins were, but there was no motherly love like there once had been. With Sarah there was. He knew that she cared for him. There was never any contact between the two, but she asked him things and listened to his answers and even though she was an old woman, she would smack at his hands or shoo him away if he tried to do things for her. This felt like home to him, and he would do anything to stay.
His eyes bored into her dark ones and he spoke, "my tribe has legends that we aren't supposed to be shared with anyone, secrets that only few people are allowed to know-"
Sarah held her hand up in a stopping gesture; he took a deep breath and waited, "that's not what I'm talking about Ephraim. I don't want to know your tribal secrets, those are sacred. There are things about my tribe I would never share; I wouldn't expect any less from you. I've tried to talk to you about this before."
Jake's long exhale and head dropping between his hands stopped her. She watched as his arms shook and his hands threaded through the back of his hair and pulled. He knew what she was talking about and even after a year and everything they had shared; he still wasn't willing to tell her. That wasn't good enough; no one should have to go through what he was and not talk about it.
Smacking her walking stick against the table, Jake's head slowly lifted and she saw the tears in his eyes. "I know it's hard, but you can't keep that kind of thing in, young man. I've loved and lost and you have too, you told me of your mother and your sisters leaving you. You've been hurt and at first after you told me of them, I had myself convinced that was it, but you've been here a year and I haven't seen you smile once-or laugh for that matter. You're eyes are always flat and you just go along wasting your years. It's going to eat you alive one day, and I won't be a part of it."
The tears streamed down Jake's face as he looked at Sarah. Her lip started to quiver and her voice was cracking as she spoke. She tried to sound hard at the end, but he could hear the worry in her words.
"Her name was Bella," Jacob began… and for the next two hours he told Sarah everything, well as much as he could, leaving out everything supernatural. She listened and grunted her disagreement and nodded her head at the things he was saying to her. When he was done, Jacob wasn't angry which came as surprise to him. Normally when he thought of Bella and Edward he always felt like ripping something apart or running, but he didn't now. He wanted to hear what Sarah had to say.
She had made her way around the table at some point and held him like a child, rocking him and patting his head as he poured his heart out to her.
Sarah framed Jake's face between her withered hands, "Ephraim. Listen to me. Sometimes these things happen in our lives. We are shown something beautiful, and we want it, sometimes we would give our all to have it. But not everything beautiful in this life is ours for the taking. There are blessings that will be ours, but the wanting of a thing does not make it ours to keep. I had my time with my husband. We had fifty beautiful years together and they changed me forever, but he was not mine to keep. He had to go in his time, just as your Bella did. We must not look mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. We must wisely improve the present, THAT is ours. Now, you must go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart. You have many blessings yet to receive, much beauty that will be yours. You won't find that sitting here with this old lady."
Six months later and Jacob was still replaying Sarah's advice in his mind. Her words hit home and Jacob knew deep down that Bella really never was his, it was just taking time to actually make himself admit it. He had to give Sarah credit though, she wasn't pushing him and he was thankful for that.
When made his way down into the kitchen that morning Sarah was waiting for him cash in hand and a list. In the year and a half that Jacob had been in Browning, Montana Sarah never sent him into town Jake noticed she'd been more tired and pale this week. He wasn't surprised she was asking him to go for her and he was happy to give her a break. What Jake didn't know was that giving her this break would change his life forever.
Some of Sarah's words may have sounded familiar. They were paraphrased from Longfellow:
Look not mournfully into the past, it comes not back again. Wisely improve the present, it is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future without fear and with a manly heart.
"Oki" (Hello)