The Lost Priest: Shorts

Chapter 2

When Maxwell met Paula

(A/N This one is going to be… Well, interesting. But hopefully it will leave you with a good laugh.)

SOUNDS/sounds

Thoughts

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

THEY had sent him, Enrico Maxwell, away. Those monsters and heathens told him to take a holiday. In other words so the man could see another day before THEY killed him. He needed to get way from them as much as they needed to get way from him. So, they sent him to the one place he would be comfortable; to Rome of course.

Maxwell came off of the large airship at the Vatican Airbase. The wheelchair was becoming a nuisance. He would like to walk on this own two feet. In any case he was in Rome and away from those vampires and heathens. Perhaps this wasn't so bad after all.

He waited for his escort to arrive. He looked around the large airfield and let out a long sigh. How long was he going to wait? A moment later he heard the sounds of high-heel boots lightly clicking on the asphalt. He looked to his right and saw thin tall woman clad in a red with a large cross printed on the fabric. High rise leather boots and gloves clung tightly to her skin. Her eyes were a smoky green and her light colored hair was cut short with a headband wrapped around.

She stopped before him, bowing. He studied this woman before him. Was this woman his escort? Oh, yes, this wasn't going to be so bad after all, if this was his escort. He wouldn't mind, not one little bit.

"Archbishop Enrico Maxwell, I'm Sister Paula Souwauski," She said in a proud clear voice. "I'm second-in-command of the Inquisition and I will be your escort for the next 3 days."

He wasn't going to complaining about this arrangement. He nodded his head at her in a greeting. She looked like a stern woman with an iron will. He could tell she was ruthless warrior from the way she carried herself.

"A good day to you, Sister," Maxwell grinned. "How is Rome holding up during this dark time?"

"Rome is holding up a strong front against Millennium, your Grace," She said, guiding him to a sleek black car where another man dressed in red opened the back door. "I will be giving you a tour of Rome. I know a lot of things have changed since your time."

"So I've heard. Even the Vatican itself has changed, and not to mention traditions in the Church as well," Maxwell said as the Paula and the driver helped him inside the car. "I look forward to seeing this new Rome."

"I can assure you, your Grace, you will not be disappointed," she said as she closed the door.

She had no idea just how true those were. Over the course of those three days Maxwell saw all he ever wanted to see. He enjoyed himself, perhaps a little too much. He even got to see just how much of a warrior Paula was during his stay. He didn't want to leave but sadly he had to Brother Petros ended up being his new escort when he got back on airship at the Vatican Airbase. His trip to Rome ended on a sweet and sour note.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

(The New Human Empire.)

Everyone knew Maxwell was coming back any minute now but they were too busy with Millennium to be bother will him. So Baibars did the honors of picking him up and escorting him back to the palace. When he rolled into the council room everyone in there grew very quiet.

"What happened to you?" Integra blurted out, looking at the nice shiner Maxwell was sporting along with a broken nose.

"I'd rather not say," Maxwell grumbled, rolling passed her to his usual spot.

Everyone shrugged. It was Maxwell after he so, probably deserved the messed up face. They started to get back to work, bringing him up to speed as to what had been going on while he was gone.

A few minutes later Alucard waltz into the room with a glass of blood in his hand. He saw that Maxwell was back and noticed his new looks. Alucard took sip of his blood as he invaded Maxwell's mind to see what happened to earn him such a makeover. HOLY SHIT!

He almost choked on the blood in his mouth and quickly spat it out, spraying an unsuspecting Cain in the back of the head. The Crusnik jumped in surprise and whipped around and landed a hard punch to Alucard's nose, sending him into the wall.

"ASSHOLE!" Cain bit out and marched out of the room, trailing blood as he went.

"Wow, okay, what just happened," Esther asked, seeing the last of Cain disappear from the doorway before turning back to Alucard.

"Are you all right, Master?" Seras asked, walking up to Alucard as he just stared at Maxwell wide eyed. "Master Alucard, what's the matter?"

"I-I don't believe it," Alucard said, pointing at Maxwell before a wicked grin split his face. "You lucky dog! That was some trip to Rome you had!"

"SHUT UP!" Maxwell yelled. "DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANY THING MORE!"

"Oh, I've got to hear all about this," Abel said, sitting down. "Please continue, Alucard."

"Yes, Ah tae would like tae hear 'bout this," Anderson spoke up, glancing at Maxwell.

Everyone was now focused on Alucard. Maxwell was turning a nice shade of red and it was quickly turning purple.

"AHAHAHA! Maxwell got laid," Alucard blurted out as glasses, papers, books, disks, and other items fell out of people's hands as they stood there in shock. "By someone named Sister Paula no less!"

"S-say what?" Catherina choked out as her chin hit the floor.

"Yep, and that moment was quick lived when someone name Brother Petros walked in and let him have it real good!" Alucard stated loudly. "Petros escorted him back to the airship that following morning! HAHAHA! I never thought you had in you, Maxwell!"

Everyone was now facing the Archbishop or where he had been to be more precise. Somehow, he managed to sneak out the back door without anyone noticing. He had to balls to do what he did in Rome but he didn't have the balls to stay to receive the crude jokes and comments from everyone else.

"Chicken shit," Asta snorted. "Can't even stay and take the criticism."

"What I want to know is how he managed to do that, considering his health before he left for Rome," Walter mused. "I mean he does have a quite few busted bones, I would think that would hurt."

"Oh, it did, considering the Sister was on top," Alucard said in sing-song voice.

"Okay, Alucard, that's enough! Too much information," Augusta cried out.

(A/N Perhaps not my funniest story but enough to get a chuckle out of, I hope. See y'all later!)

Millie M. Banshee