Authors Note: Thank you to everyone for all the reviews, favourites and follows. It is a wonderful feeling knowing your story is being read and enjoyed.
Not him.
I struggle to keep my face impassive as a hundred different thoughts and emotions rush through my mind. Did Snow do this? Is he punishing me after all? No, surely not I think. No one, not even my own family, know anything about the complicated history I share with the boy whose name has just been called.
I was so focused on Prim today that the thought of anyone else I knew being reaped hadn't even crossed my mind. Not that I am very close to many people here in District Twelve but there are definitely a few people I wouldn't want dead. My friend Gale who I hunt with for one. He must have dozens of slips in today's reaping as well. My friend Madge, who I used to sit with when I still went to school, and who I still see regularly due to her father being the Mayor. And him, Peeta.
I try to slow my breathing as he approaches the stage. I know there is at least half a dozen cameras recording me right now and I can't afford to let any of the emotions I am feeling show. I settle on casual indifference instead as Peeta climbs the last steps of the stage.
"Let's give a large round of applause to this year's tributes of District Twelve; Willow Kurtz and Peeta Mellark!" Effie calls enthusiastically to the crowd.
Like every year, there is little response. Some muttering can be heard from the adults at the back of the crowd. No-one likes it when a twelve-year-old is reaped, especially when they look as small and fragile as Willow does right now. I stare down at their faces, some showing thinly veiled disgust, others showing relief that their children haven't been the ones chosen.
Effie waits another few seconds before instructing Peeta and Willow to shake hands. As soon as they're finished I turn sharply on my heel and head straight for the Justice Building. The tributes are given one hour to say goodbye to their friends and families and I plan to spend every second of that time trying to get my emotions in check. Especially before having to face both Peeta and Haymitch on the train.
I know my hour is long up when Effie taps impatiently on the door.
"Katniss dear, the train waits for no-one, not even a victor!" She says, her annoyance at my lateness clear in her voice
I roll my eyes and make my way down to the waiting car that will deliver Haymitch and I to the train. Haymitch is already sitting in the back of the car, a silver hipflask clutched firmly in one hand.
"Pissing Effie off already sweetheart?"
"It's an extra five minutes, I'm sure she'll get over it" I snap at him and climb into the seat next to him.
"And what's got your panties in a twist today?" Haymitch asks, one eyebrow raised mockingly.
"Nothing, I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night. With it being Prim's first reaping and all" I reply, most of the venom gone from my voice. I know I won't be able to keep my feelings about Peeta being reaped from Haymitch for very long, but I'm not quite ready to delve into them yet. Mainly because I don't understand them myself.
Haymitch eyes me suspiciously for a second but then nods and takes another swig from his flask. I'm either getting better at lying or Haymitch has decided it's not worth pushing it right now. I suspect it's the latter. Haymitch is the best reader of people I know, and I've never been good at keeping things from him.
We arrive at the train and I make my way to the room I have occupied for the past three years. I sink onto the bed and almost scream in frustration. Of all the possible male tributes in District Twelve, he had to be chosen. The boy that has saved my life not once, but twice. If I wasn't so sure that Snow couldn't know anything about Peeta I would think this was his doing. I think back to the bread incident when we were eleven and how desperate I was. I doubt I would have had the strength to get home had I not been able to smell the warm, rich aroma of the bread from under my shirt.
That bread gave me the strength and hope I needed to survive those cold winter months. I started to hunt and forage for food again, using the knowledge my father had given me before he died. Of course, I wasn't very good at the start, but it was enough to feed my family until I was able to sign up for the tesserae and to survive the games just a few months later.
I didn't even thank Peeta for the bread. I have had plenty of opportunities over the years as well. Although the only time I have ever spoken more than two words to him it was the last thing on either of our minds.
I can't believe I hadn't considered the possibility of mentoring someone I know. The last few years of being a mentor have been awful, but thankfully I hadn't known any of the tributes before they were reaped. Leaving school at age twelve and being socially reclusive does have its advantages. I am angry at myself for being so caught off guard this afternoon at the reaping. If its one thing I pride myself on, it's not showing emotion in public.
The easiest thing to do will be to pretend I don't know him. Treat him like any other tribute from District twelve. He will be Haymitch's tribute anyway, I'm sure I will be far too busy with Willow to spend much time with him at all. I will focus on Willow and Haymitch can be responsible for Peeta. Not exactly convinced with my plan, but happy to at least have something to go on I move to join everyone else in the dining cart.
"Sweetheart! Decided to finally join us, have you?" Haymitch asks sarcastically.
I glare at him as I take the seat next to him and opposite Willow. Like he can talk, he spent the better part of my train journey to the Capitol as a tribute passed out drunk in his room, only emerging when Effie forcibly removed him. He has gotten a lot better since then though. He still drinks of course, but he is rarely drunk. I suspect finally bringing a tribute home and being able to share mentoring duties has helped him. I don't know what I would be like if I had to do this alone. Not for twenty years.
"We were just getting to know our new tributes" Effie says in her sing-song voice, far more excited than anyone else at the table. Willow looks terrified, her head bowed, only looking up from the table when directly spoken to. She has dark hair that desperately needs to be washed, light olive skin and dark eyes. She resembles me far more than my own sister does, something I'm sure won't go unnoticed in the Capitol.
I can see Peeta trying to make eye contact with me from the corner of my eye but I purposefully avoid his gaze.
"Great, what have I missed?" I ask, looking directly at Effie as a train assistant places a plate of food in front of me. It is lamb stew on wild rice, my favourite.
"We have just managed to weasel out of Peeta here that he is a quite the accomplished wrestler!" says Effie brightly, beaming at Peeta.
"Well I wouldn't say that, but I can hold my own" Peeta says modestly flashing a small grin.
"What about you Willow?" I ask gently "What are you good at?"
Willow looks up at me in surprise. "Oh um, nothing really".
"Nonsense dear! Everyone is good at something. What do you like to do at home?" Effie asks her encouragingly
"Well it's just me and my twin brother Ash at home mostly and I spend a lot of time looking after him. He was born with medical problems" Willow says quietly.
"And your parents?" Effie asks. "What do they do?"
"Dad works in the mines, mum died giving birth to me and Ash" Willow replies sadly.
"Well I'm sure you do a splendid job of looking after your brother dear!" Effie says to her after a pause.
I look over at Willow who continues to look down at her food, although seems to be sitting up a little straighter after Effie's last comment. I can't help but to see myself in the young girl, both in looks and in experience. I also know what its like to be responsible for raising a sibling.
"Now that all the pleasantries are out of the way, we can get down to business" Haymitch says as the train assistants serve dessert. "Katniss and I will be your mentors and Effie your escort. You will do exactly as we say and we will do the best we can to get one of you out of the arena alive".
My heart sinks at the words Haymitch has just said, the obvious statement that I have been doing my best to ignore. Only one of them can possibly make it through these games, and that's the best-case scenario. Obviously, I want Peeta to win, I owe him too much not to try to help him survive, but that also means sacrificing Willow to do so.
"Thank you Haymitch. I look forward to learning from you" Peeta says sincerely, holding his hand out for Haymitch to shake.
He drops Haymitch's hand and turns to me. "And Katniss, as the youngest ever tribute to win the games, I'm sure anything you have to teach us will be invaluable" Peeta says with a smile, now holding his hand out to me.
I look down at his hand and back up to his face. His eyes are the brightest blue I have ever seen. His blonde hair has been combed back, but one piece stubbornly falls onto his forehead. The smile on his face is so ridiculously genuine. I see my plan to ignore him and treat him like any other tribute shatter in front of me.
"Believe me, it was almost all luck, I doubt I will be much help to you at all" I say coldly, ignoring his outstretched hand.
"I'm going to bed" I announce, rising from the table and making my way to my room before anyone can stop me.
A couple of hours later I hear a knock on my door.
"Come in" I say, already knowing who it will be and what he wants.
"Wanna tell me what that was all about?" Haymitch asks as he shuts the door behind him. "You've been acting weird all day".
"It's Peeta" I say meekly. "I don't know if I can work with him".
"Because he complimented you?"
"No, because two years ago he was the one who saved my life, and it wasn't even for the first time".