Pushed Beyond the Limit

By: Maranni123

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: And chapter two. You know, looking back on my past work, I found myself wondering how you all managed to find out who was talking and who wasn't. Seriously, it was like I was making a point to never write the word "said." :P Anyway, here's the edited second chapter. Still don't own Star Trek. Sadness. ;D Enjoy. And just to make things clear, some changes will be small. The first few chapters I'm keeping pretty much the same, although I can't say the same for the other chapters. :D

Beta: T'Key'la was my beta during this chapter as well, along with some others. :) Ah, memories.

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The colors seemed to be smothering him, suffocating him. They were taking away his very breath. His heart was pounding so hard, his entire body was shaking. Jim gasped for breath and he whimpered as the colors swirled across his vision and his senses were overloaded. A room. The soft sound of a sigh.

'…I am a carrier…whatever happens… can't go back…to the ship…'

Jim let out a soft moan as he fought for air. He clawed at his face, trying to see something, anything. He couldn't see anything, he couldn't see damn it! And Spock…was he sick? Why couldn't he go back to the ship? What was wrong with him?

'I can't leave him,' Jim thought frantically as he fought off the darkness that seemed to surround him. 'Where's Bones? Spock is sick! I can't leave him behind! Leave me instead, but don't leave him!'

What Jim didn't know was that instead of fighting off darkness, he was actually fighting off Doctor McCoy, who was trying to give Jim a hypo to reduce the man's rapidly growing fever. And after Jim had managed to throw in a few good punches that actually met their marks, McCoy was starting to become more pissed than usual.

"Jesus Christ, Jim!" McCoy cursed as Jim's fist nearly smashed into his face. Again. "Will you just stay still and let me help you? Fuck!"

When Jim had collapsed onto the Sick Bay floor earlier, the man had still been somewhat coherent. McCoy had managed to get Jim onto a bed without much struggle from the captain, but after he had laid Jim down, the man had started thrashing and moaning. It was obvious that Jim was hallucinating, thanks to his massive fever that the doctor could easily solve with a hypo if only Jim would stop thrashing about. McCoy growled softly as he dodged another punch.

"Damn it Jim," he said breathlessly. "I don't have time for this!" And with that, McCoy knocked Jim's arm away and pushed the hypo into his Captain's neck.

Jim let out a cry as the cool hypo hit his throat, more colors flashing before his eyes, taking shape into fuzzy forms he could hardly see that faded away just as quickly as they came. A terror filled him, a terror that Jim had only rarely felt in his entire life time. A terror so gripping, it caused his very breath to whoosh out of his lungs.

'…I do want to go back to the ship…Captain…'

Jim let out a sound similar to a sob. 'I know Spock!' he thought, his hazy mind trying to formulate a plan that could somehow save his First Officer. 'I want you on the ship too. I don't want you gone!'

The colors took the shape of Spock, although he looked much older and almost emotional. He looked like a younger version of Ambassador Spock, or Selek as he was known to everyone else. And his eyes…they were giving Jim the same look that Spock always gave to Uhura, even after the two had ended their romantic relationship. It was a soft look. A look of trust and companionship and, dare Jim think it, love.

'No…no…' Jim shook his head softly. 'Spock... he would never... never look at me like that! Not even now.'

The image of Spock smiling ever so slightly at him faded, much to Jim's dismay and relief, and he let out another moan. The hypo starting to take effect, working its wonderful medical magic, and Jim took in a greedy gulp of air as his body started to cool down, much to McCoy's relief. But those visions, hallucinations, the colors and sounds, didn't stop. Jim moaned again as he opened his eyes slightly to look over to McCoy, a glassy film covering the normally bright blues, making his eyes seem dull and grey.

"Bones…," he whispered. "Spock is sick…he can't go back to the ship…we have to help him."

McCoy frowned as he checked Jim's temperature again, confusion settling over him. "Jim," the doctor mumbled, more to himself than to his actual patient. "Your fever is down. You shouldn't still be hallucinating."

Jim shook his head slowly, tears starting to well up in his eyes, frustrated that McCoy wasn't understanding him. "Isolate the virus Bones!" he cried helplessly. The hypo was making his body heavy, like he was made of stone. "We only have five more days!"

Letting out a frustrated growl, McCoy decided to go with the timeless method of fever detection and placed his cheek against Jim's forehead searching for any warmth. Perhaps his equipment was malfunctioning? Highly doubtful, but anything could happen aboard the Enterprise and McCoy wasn't taking any chances. Jim flinched away from McCoy's touch, his breathing strained and erratic.

"Bones!" he nearly screamed, his frustration and fear growing. "Isolate the virus! Please!"

McCoy growled and pulled away from Jim's forehead. "Fuck!" he cursed softly. Jim was absolutely fever-free. He should have been fine! "What in God's name is wrong with you Jim? Did you eat something? Your scans are normal, God damn it!"

Jim let out another moan as he shivered suddenly. "Spock," he mumbled. "He'll die…we'll all die…isolate the virus Bones!"

The doctor shook his head, trying to reach for any part of Jim that was still coherent. "Jim," he said loudly, slowly. "There is no virus. No one is going to die. Spock is fine. You're having a hallucination for God knows why and you need to calm down before you work yourself into another fever."

Jim sobbed softly as he raised a hand to his face, completely ignoring McCoy's words. Nothing new there at least. "Bones," he sobbed, a new wave of sadness washing over him so suddenly he had no chances of escaping it. "Never…he'll never show me emotion…"

McCoy blinked. "Who? Spock?" he asked, a scowl on his face. "Of course he's not going to show you his emotions! The bastard is half-Vulcan physically and all Vulcan in the brain. Hell, he barely showed Uhura any emotions and they were dating. Don't know how that girl put up with that damned hobgoblin for as long as she did."

Another sob shook Jim to his core and he shook his head, not noticing McCoy grabbing for another hypo. "I know," he admitted. "But the colors…the feelings…" 'They're telling me otherwise Bones,' he thought. 'And I don't know who to believe.'

The distraught man let off a soft whimper as another hypo was jabbed into his neck. But before Jim could continue to speak, before he could explain to McCoy that the colors and sounds were making him see a different life, a different Spock that wasn't his to have, the contents of hypo took hold of him and he drifted quickly into a dreamless, stress-free, sleep.

McCoy stared at his captain, his best friend, for a moment, his lips set in a grim line. "What the fuck was that?" he asked no one. The empty Sick Bay room gave him no response. "Jim," he sighed as he threw away the empty hypo. "What just happened to you? You're scans are normal. You shouldn't be sick! Is it the stress? Did you have an allergic reaction to something?"

The doctor shook his head. No. According to his equipment, Jim was fine, save for his strange hallucinations. To the state of the art equipment, Jim was perfectly healthy. And the doctor had spent enough time with his medical equipment to know that they weren't malfunctioning. But it was obvious that something was wrong with Jim. The man was curled into the fetal position, his arms hugging his knees to his chest like a child. But his face was peaceful, which was a relief.

Shaking his head in seer frustration, McCoy walked over to his desk to activate his communications program. Jim was suppose to be on shift and not hallucinating in his Sick Bay. Obviously something had happened up at the bridge to make Jim visit him. And McCoy wanted to know just what that something was.

"McCoy to bridge."

Instantly, Spock's image came into view, the bridge behind him. "Spock here," the First Officer answered, his face blank and he nodded slightly. "Doctor McCoy. I trust that the Captain has visited you?"

McCoy frowned, which wasn't surprising seeing as Spock was now involved. "How did you know that Jim came down here?" he asked.

"I suggested to the Captain that he visit the Sick Bay after we received an assignment from Admiral Pike," Spock explained. "He appeared distant and distracted here on the bridge. I assumed that he has been having difficulties sleeping, as most humans in a commanding position do or that perhaps he was ill."

His frown and confusion growing, McCoy asked, "And how long has he been acting 'distant and distracted', Mr. Spock?"

Spock raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding where McCoy was going with his questioning. "Though I cannot be completely positive doctor," he said finally. "I believe that the Captain has been exhibiting such behaviors for the past several weeks. However, it has not reached such levels to be considered alarming."

McCoy cursed softly under his breath so that the rest of crew behind Spock wouldn't hear him. "Why didn't you send him to me sooner?" he demanded angrily.

Although his face was still carefully blank, McCoy could tell that if he were human, Spock would have been frowning. "As I stated earlier," the half-Vulcan said again. "It is normal for humans in a position of command to experience sleeping difficulties and…"

McCoy rolled his eyes, his tone becoming louder. "Damn it Spock," he interrupted. "He's not just having 'sleeping difficulties'. Something is seriously wrong with him."

The concern was now clear on Spock's face. Well, at least clear to McCoy. He wasn't so sure about the rest of the crew. "If the Captain is not having sleeping issues, then what is causing his behavior change?" he asked, his tone sharp with worry.

McCoy glared at the half-Vulcan, but before he could answer, Spock interrupted him. "Excuse me for a moment doctor," he said briskly. "I will be down there in a manner of minutes. Spock out." Spock's image then disappeared, leaving McCoy to glare at an empty screen.

The doctor rolled his eyes again and smiled slightly. 'Looks like someone has emotions after all,' he mused as he walked back over to Jim. His smile, though, fell slightly as he watched his sleeping Captain. McCoy let out a small sigh and he offered Jim a small smile.

"I do hope that whatever is wrong with you Jim, I can fix it," he said softly. "Can't have you running around screaming about viruses, can we?"

McCoy watched his Captain for a few more moments before he shook his head slightly. "Jim," he sighed. "You really are a pain in the ass sometimes. What the hell is wrong with you? If my scanners can't pick anything up, then do we need to get you into somewhere more sophisticated?"

Jim gave McCoy no answers, still blissfully unaware of his surroundings and his own hallucinations, caught in sleep's cool and welcoming embrace. Scoffing, irritated that something was obviously wrong with his best friend and pissed that he didn't know what that something was, McCoy continued to glare down at the still figure on the biobed.

"Honestly Jim," he mumbled. "With all of your allergies and your habit of nearly killing yourself while on missions, it's a miracle that you're still even alive!"

"Doctor, I find it slightly unsettling that you are attempting to make conversation with the Captain while he is currently unconscious."

McCoy flushed slightly with embarrassment, glaring over to the half-Vulcan who'd suddenly entered the room and chose to stay silent as Spock walked over and joined him near Jim's side. Spock glanced at Jim for a moment, and then turned his head to McCoy.

"The Captain seems to be resting well doctor," he said hesitantly. "Perhaps he was suffering from a lack of sleep?"

McCoy shot Spock a glare. "Even if he was having trouble sleeping," he said, his tone cool. "I know Jim. When he doesn't sleep, he usually lasts for about a week, and then passes out where he stands. He doesn't hallucinate about deadly viruses or run a fever of one hundred and three."

Spock frowned softly. "Explain," he demanded.

McCoy rolled his eyes as he double checked Jim's heart beat. 'Green-bloodied hobgoblin,' he thought without any real distain. Although the two acting as if they hated each other, they actually had a great deal of respect for each other. Not that they would ever tell each other that.

"He passed out over near the door, mumbling about getting you back to the ship," he explained, checking Jim over for fever once again before he looked back to Spock. "And after I managed to get him onto the bed, he started to full out hallucinate. He told me that unless I isolated a virus, we would all die and that you wouldn't be able to go back to the ship."

Spock looked back over to Jim. "What virus could he be speaking of?" he asked softly.

McCoy shook his head. "I don't know," he admitted. "Despite his fever, he's perfectly healthy. And I suspect that his fever was stemmed more from stress than illness, which happened a lot when we were still in the Academy. Jim's immune system is crap when he's stressed for too long and he God damn knows it and never does anything about it."

The doctor paused for a moment and rubbed at his neck as he finally said, "What strikes me as odd though is that after I broke his fever, he was still hallucinating."

Spock didn't take his eyes off of his Captain as he spoke. "Then his hallucinations were not a side effect from his fever," he deduced, tone still soft and quiet. "And if that is the case, then perhaps it is a combination of the two? Stress and lack of sleep have been known to cause effects such as hallucinations and it is not unlikely that the Captain would be experiencing difficulties sleeping."

"And Jim wouldn't tell us if he'd been having sleeping issues for whatever reason either," McCoy added. "He'd try and hide it, like he always does. Damn child that he is. But we can't know for sure that his little episode here was caused by lack of sleep until he wakes up. The hypo I administered will keep him under for awhile, about two to three hours. After that, we can see if we're right about the sleeping issues."

A short silence filled the Sick Bay before Spock finally turned away from his captain. He gave McCoy a carefully guarded look. "And if the Captain's hallucinations are not stemmed from a sleeping issue doctor?" he asked, his tone flat.

McCoy sighed and raised a hand to the back of his neck. "I'm not sure Spock," he admitted. "But we'll just have deal with that when, or if, the time comes."

He looked over to Jim again for a moment before turning back to Spock. "All we can do now is go back to work," he said. "Keep busy and most importantly, keep the crew from knowing. Jim's still the Captain and we can't have the crew thinking that he's gone off the deep end or any shit like that."

Spock nodded his head and said, "Agreed, Doctor. The crew's stability and the ship's performance are connected to the Captain. It would be best if they simply suspected a sleeping disorder."

"Hate lying to them like that," McCoy admitted. "I know that most of the crew would understand, but there are always a few bad apples in the bunch and with Jim's already shaky reputation in Starfleet, even rumors about him losing his mind could hurt him. If it came down to it, they could even demote him and throw him in a psychiatric ward for testing."

McCoy watched as Spock's shoulders tensed and he almost laughed when Spock shot him a Vulcan version of a glare, as if the possibility of Jim being sent to a psychiatric ward were his fault.

"That will not happen, doctor," he said coldly.

McCoy gave Spock a weary smile. "Of course not Spock," he said, trying to keep his amusement to a minimum. "Now, why don't you go back to the bridge and assure the crew that their Captain is fine. Tell them he was just sleep deprived or something along those lines."

Spock nodded, then gave Jim one last glance before he squared his shoulders and left Sick Bay. McCoy watched Spock leave with a small smile on his face. He glanced over to Jim.

"Looks like someone is a bit protective of our captain," he chuckled softly, shaking his head. Then he walked back into his office and back to his paperwork in an attempt to keep himself and his mind busy until Jim woke up.

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A/N: And that is the edited version of Chapter Two.