"This is never going to work!" Ny says as we walk into the bar.
You can dress her up in whatever you want, but the girl is still human.
She is dressed in her standard club getup; tight skirt showing off her long coffee legs and her favorite one shouldered red tank top. She is also wearing the dangly earrings I gave her last Christmas, the ones that hang almost down to her shoulders and sparkle even in the low light of a nightclub.
The only difference between this night and any other is the body paint.
It's dark green, and everywhere.
The paint and the super mega push up is all I contributed to this outfit and already I can't recognize her.
"Nyota, for the last time, if you don't own this costume then I'm turning around and certain naughty girls will be marched home without Kardassian sunrises, sober and spanked."
This makes her giggle and straighten up.
"Fine, but only because I find this to be an interesting social experiment, and because I want booze."
"That's my girl!" I say, swatting her butt as we enter the bar.
"Now remember, you're my Orion cousin here for a visit, fresh off the star ship."
Whether she likes to admit it or not, Nyota saunters into the bar, not her usual confident gait, but one with a hip swivel I'm sure comes straight from the green paint on her ass.
Yes I made her paint her whole body.
My mother told me never to do anything if I couldn't do it all the way.
Of course she was talking about bringing wealthy traders to climax but I feel like the message still applies here.
Almost as soon as we sit down at the bar, two shots of jack are being placed in front of us.
"From those guys over there," says the bartender, not looking up " what can I get you la." He trails off as Ny shoots a mega watt smile at him.
She bats her eyelashes at him", Two Kardassian sunrises please, strong ones."
And so it begins.
"We just sat down!" she whispers incredulously as I knock back my shot.
Yucky, so bitter, and burny, why do humans do this to themselves?
"It ain't easy being green, Ny, with great color comes great responsibility, also free drinks!"