Part Two

"Ahem!" I heard Sebastian fake cough behind me and moved away so he could pass. For some reason, I was blushing over the thought that he was behind me as we climbed the stairs. Considering that he now knows what my 'pretty ass', as he called it, looks like I'm sure it was just the knowledge making me blush. Sebastian walked to his apartment door and I followed with him carrying everything. As soon as he opened the door, I flopped down on the sofa and breathed a sigh of relief into the cushion. I heard him close the door and walk over to the couch. I was sprawled across the seats so I turned to the side so he could sit at the edge.

"Seb?" I decided to confide in him before I broke down. He had all the bags near the coffee table and the pizza and soda on top.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Why is Alexander so…", I couldn't find the right words so I just threw my hands in front of me and made strangling motions.

"So… what? What happened tonight Rae?"

"Well after you left it became a little awkward until we were able to laugh about it. Then Alexander started asking questions about if it was okay for him to see and how far I'd take it." I explained from the beginning without so many details.

"WOW, you guys used my discomfort as entertainment? I'm hurt… no pepperoni for you, human." He joked. I poked his arm with my toe since he was sitting at the end where my feet were and too far for my fingers to reach. He handed me a plate of pizza so I sat up to take it while he continued. "So, what did you say to him?"

"I basically told him he had free reign over my body and it was up to him to make a move. He ignored me at first but then he kissed me and I could feel his hands trying to touch me more so I tried to make it more comfortable for us both but he stopped and said that we shouldn't. I'm an eighteen-year-old virgin with a drop dead gorgeous boyfriend who doesn't want to be intimate with me. He says he wants to but doesn't want to cause any pain for me. Doesn't he know it's gonna hurt only the first time anyways?" At this point I was talking so fast it sounded like I was rambling. When I kept glancing at Sebastian, I'd see he was staring at me wide-eyed but was definitely listening to every word, which encouraged me to continue. "So I tell him that and asked if he plans to never have sex with me, and do you know what he says?" I asked him incredulously. He simply shakes his head with the pizza hovering next to his lips. So in a deeper voice I mocked, " 'I don't know' is what he said!" With that I take an angry bite out of my pizza slice.

"So… then what happened?"

I waited until I swallowed my bite before answering. "Then he tells me to leave after I had given him full access and threw off my skirt. Not to mention he had a hard on so he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to. I feel totally rejected Seb, and it hurts so much more coming from him than what I was used to growing up. I'm willing to give him my heart, body, and soul and it seems like the only thing he's willing to take is my heart. But it's not enough for me, and it's so frustrating. You're his best friend you tell me! What is so wrong with being with me? I've never even dated before Alexander and now I feel like I'm going to die never knowing what the hell is wrong with me." After venting my frustrations I stared at my plate and took subconscious bites from my pizza.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Raven. As far as I know you're like a perfect dream made reality." I scoffed at that. "I'm serious! You're not just a gothic beauty; you're hot as hell. You're willing and wanting to be turned into a vampire, which in vampire terms; means everything to us when choosing a human as our mate. You're not one of those materialistic girls. You're a blast to be around and you've got great taste. You've got a big heart despite how many people punched holes in it. You've been a loner, but you don't push people away. Like I said, 'you're perfect'." I stared at Sebastian as he spoke and wondered why he can see me this way but Alexander couldn't.

"Why didn't I meet you first Sebastian?" I said with a sad smile. When I finished my pizza, I leaned into the sofa. Sebastian poured some soda into a glass and handed to me, silently. I took it and drank some while thinking. "So why does Alexander refuse to leap for me then if I'm so perfect? Why fight for me if he won't even touch me?"

Sebastian finished off his second slice and drank some soda while looking far away lost in thought. It felt like an hour passed before he finally spoke. "Back home, there was a human girl that Alexander dated for a while. We were probably fourteen at the time. She was a Roma, gypsy, and never really liked it. She always snuck away to his mansion and he'd take her somewhere secret where they'd be alone. Keep in mind we were young and hormonal. She was a virgin, but he'd lost that title some time before. So when she told him she loved him and wanted him to be her first, he tried to do everything to make it perfect for her. Even made me stay nearby in case the blood that spilled became too much for him to handle. I could hear them. I could hear her. It really was the perfect first time… until after. When they… were done, she cried, and he was confused. I came out of hiding because I thought damage control was needed. She slapped him and ran off. The next day, there was a commotion from the gypsies, saying their daughter was raped… apparently, because of their culture, she was engaged at a very young age to a gypsy boy and the families were unhappy with her betrayal. So to save herself, she said he raped her."

I was completely and utterly speechless. There were no words I could say to respond to that. I felt tears trailing down my cheeks. I wasn't even sure how I felt about all this. Sad? Yeah, of course… Angry? How could I not be? Lonely? Somehow that overshadowed everything else. I pulled my legs toward me and wrapped my arms around my folded legs. Sebastian scooted closer and wiped the tears falling from my lashes. "So every time he's with me, he's thinking of someone else? Comparing ME to someone else? Does he think I'll cry wolf if he makes love to me? I'm not a child, I'm not engaged, I'm not a gypsy, and I'm not responsible for someone else's mistakes. How long will he blame me for this, Sebastian? So he's never had sex since then, and plans to live for all eternity without it? From all that I can gather about how Alexander decides to resist me is: he won't make me his eternal mate because the bite will hurt and he wants me to stay human… and he won't make love to me because the first time will hurt, and I remind him of an ex." I got up from the sofa and went to my bag and grabbed my phone. I was going to talk some sense into my delusional boyfriend because if he thinks I'm gonna put up with not being good enough, he's painfully mistaken.

"Woah! Wait, what are you doing? You're not going to call him are you?" Sebastian questioned.

"Of course I'm gonna call him, this is all bullshit! If he wants a virginal human to be by his side then he needs to visit a nunnery. Otherwise he's gonna need to grow a pair and get over it. Every body has a few horribly depressing moments in their past but it's still the past. You don't see me crying over the catalogue freaks in this town judging me." I was waiting for Alexander to pick up but it went to voicemail. I looked at the time on my clock and saw it was only 9pm. "He won't pick up, I'm going back over there…"

"NO! Raven don't tell him about this it's just gonna make him put his walls back up. Not to mention he'll be pissed off at me for telling you. I kinda broke a Bro-Code… not cool. But I couldn't leave you hating yourself either. It's not you Raven. He's been with other girls after, but he swore off gypsies and virgins. So don't feel so bad. Maybe I can talk some sense into him to help him move on. We'll never mention what I told you, only about what happened tonight at the mansion. OK?" Sebastian tried to reason with me. I just cried and felt my chin quiver. He pulled me into a hug and swayed me a bit to calm me down. When I got the sobs under control, I felt him press a kiss to my temple, then again between my brows. I sighed and sniffed. Sebastian lifted my face with a finger under my chin to take in my flushed face. I looked him in the eyes and felt completely at ease.

"Thank you, Sebastian," I told him before pressing a kiss to his cheek. "You're a good frien-" I got cut-off by his lips gently pressing against mine. I was tense and surprised so I didn't respond. But he kept moving his lips over mine before caressing my cheeks with his thumbs. I don't know why, but I started to kiss him back. He slowly encouraged me to continue so I wouldn't get frightened away, and it worked. I held onto his shoulders to pull myself closer, and for balance. Sebastian continued to stroke my cheek with one hand and gradually moved the other down to circle my waist. At the same time I felt the wet tip of his tongue gliding across the seam of my lips, so I granted him entrance. Sebastian accepted it and deepened the kiss while pulling me tighter against him. His hand that caressed my face was now lost in my hair as his palm held me still and his fingers massaged my scalp. I felt goosebumps breaking out all over me and I moaned from the pleasure. Sebastian broke our kiss to place open mouth kisses along the side of my neck at the sensitive and tender spots. I continued to moan and pant. He walked me back to the couch, and I was still in a daze when we collapsed onto it with him on top of me.

Sebastian was rubbing his big hands along my sides. One of his legs was between mine and one of mine was between his. His kisses returned to my lips and I was lost in the heat of the moment. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back with one hand and fisting his blonde dreads with the other. I pulled him closer to me and urged him to continue. Suddenly, he tensed up and stopped. Quickly he pulled himself off of me and adjusted his clothing. Like a cool class of water splashing me in the face, I was pulled from my trance. Again, in one night, I felt exposed, ashamed, rejected, frustrated and alone. "Raven," he started. But I couldn't take it anymore.

"Don't. Please, Sebastian, just… don't say anything, please. I… I need to go. Um, thanks for the pizza." As quickly and with as much dignity as I could I fixed my clothes and grabbed my overnight bag. I let myself out and practically ran down the stairs only to bump into someone.

"Raven?" I felt myself pale at the voice. "What are you doing here?"

"Alexander…" I looked up to see him looking confused and surprised. "Um, I was just leaving." I moved to go around him but he blocked my attempt.

"What are you doing here?" he asked again with more emphasis.

"You kicked me out remember?" I answered bitterly. "Sebastian apologized for earlier and offered me pizza. Are you gonna let me go now?" I said harshly. Alexander looked taken aback at my tone. But I didn't stick around to wait for him to move. I shoved my way passed, grabbed my bike and left. I still didn't want to go home so I just rode around the town for a while. I heard my phone ring but decided not to answer it. As I rode around town, clearing my head, an idea came to mind. I'm already eighteen now and I have no desire to be around anybody right now. I need my own place.

A/N: thank you Sammysam13 for the inspiring review and quickly understanding where this was going XD.

Also, thank you Alpha Wolf Music Lover for responding to my crisis and the support.

As for all of you readers, thank you for reading and the support. Please don't forget to Review or send me a PM about your thoughts on the story positive and negative. My favorite responses are when my readers tell me exactly what they are expecting to see happen in the story. The same goes for all of my Vampire Kisses fanfictions (total of 4). So stay tuned for the next update. XD