Sasuke got home and managed to hold his farts until after he got the groceries out of the trunk of his beautiful Volvo. As soon as he got inside, he unleashed a storm in his bikini and farted at least six times within twenty seconds. He knew that he would have to use a lot of Resolve Stain Remover to get this out, kinda like the same time that Ben Affleck when ate Korean barbecue at a gas station that served people who were shorter than 5'10 and had a heavy Finnish accent, neither of which he had, so they gave him Korean barbecue instead of their pickled herring. Sasuke put away the groceries he had and bent over the counter and strained really, really hard, kinda like Chouji when he had to put on a mitten for the winter weather. He farted so loud that it almost felt like he had to take a shit, but it was risky to take a shit because he may not get the dinner finished in time. After all, he had at least 8 hours.

Sasuke took out a lot of kinky ingredients for what he was making for Sakura. A pot roast. That's right. This nigga was gonna make that ho a pot roast and he thought that she would love it so much that he would get him some fancy earrings as a present from Tokyo. Sasuke got the carrots out and he began to chop them so fast that it was almost blinding if you put it 16x speed on your DVD player. That's right. Sasuke chopped vegetables really slow; well, maybe not slow as in Chiyo's speed, but it wasn't as fast as Chouji. Chopping food was the only thing that fat nigga was fast at. Once the carrots were chopped, he grunted and farted really loud in the middle of the kitchen and began to sweat. He couldn't take a dush now!

Sasuke took out the roast meat he was gonna use for the pot roast and put it inside of the crockpot. He got a can of cream of mushroom soup, ginger ale, potatoes, and salt and pepper and put them inside and stirred that nigga up. Once he was done, he put them on to cook for six hours. Okay, maybe it was a bit stupid for him to hold his shit, but he didn't really need to go now. He was ready to relax, and what not. He went into the living and turned on the television and turned it on the to Young and Restless.

"I'm so thirsty, I could go to Minneapolis and raid a refrigerator to get something to drink," said Sasuke as he went back into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and saw just what he wanted: a Kirin beer bottle. He opened it and took it into the living room, but then went back to find him something to eat. He got a package of fruit gushers and went back into the living and sat on his really luxurious white leather couch. He snapped the beer open and began to drink it as he watched some drama unfold on the television. The couch he sat on was so dang comfortable, a little bit more comfortable than the seats in his Volvo. Sasuke kinda wanted to take his clothes off and take a nap there, but he needed to do something else. At least it felt like that.

After Sasuke finished the beer, he threw it at 102 miles per hour into the fire place that had a fire going and the bottle exploded into 248 pieces that he was not gonna pick up. He felt really satisfied with his actions and peed on the fire. All the sudden, he felt a rumble in his belly.

"Dammit, do I gotta fart again?" he wondered as he looked around. As soon as he said that, he farted so loudly that he fell down face forward. He farted as soon as he was on the ground and it launched him about six feet and he hit his head on the soft couch.

"NIGGA!" he shouted in pain. It hurt so bad that he started to cry in the exact same way Madonna's fingernail broke when she was diddling Sean Penn's asshole in 1994, even though they weren't married. Sasuke got up and went to the bathroom.

"Oh, shit! I gotta take a dush!" he announced as he sat one of the toilets. He grabbed a magazine about how to take care of your Volvo and then grunted.

"Oh, shit! I gotta take a dush!" he shouted to nobody as he got up and darted to the bathroom upstairs, his ass making the toilet shake as he sat down. He strained really hard and a 23 inch turd came outta his ass after sitting on the toilet for forty seconds. His ass felt like raw hamburger meat now and he started to laugh at the feeling of relief.

"Damn, look at what I did to the toilet!" he screamed with delight as he flushed the giant turd. He went to wash his hands and then went back to laugh at the soap opera. AS soon as he sat down...

PHBBBBBBBBBBT!

"MY ASSHOLE! MY PRECIOUS ANUS!" screamed Sasuke as he cried.