***I was bored, and suddenly found myself writing this. Odd how those things work at times. I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline***
What am I doing here? Why did I come here? I am one of those who run. One of those who choose to flee from my problems rather than confronting them. So what am I doing here, in a guild full of people that don't know any other way other than direct confrontation?
It was late. When the guildhall slowly but surely became emptier as people started to leave I got up from my seat by the bar, left without uttering a word. What did I do here? If HE found me I would be as good as doomed. But his smile had been so alluring, had promised me so much. The place this boy came from HAD to be a cheery place, right, and I had longed to be a part of Fairy Tail for a long time. All the articles, all the pictures. Sorcerers Weekly had been my contemporary escape from all the things that didn't work out for me in life. Like HIM, that didn't even want to speak with me lest it be about possible marriage proposals or another ball he wanted me to attend.
How would one go about to gain friends? What did it MEAN to be a friend? I'd joined Natsu on the quest to save Macao because I hoped such an action would gain me a friend. Instead I got kidnapped and he had ended up having to people to rescue instead of one. But he called me family. It had to count for something, right? If family was what it was described as in the children's books I used to love as a child, that is. Family protect each other, and stick together.
The starts shone brightly today. I stood outside the guildhall, looked up at the stars while the ocean stretched endlessly ahead. I breathed out, let a smile play at the edge of my mouth while I enjoyed the small moment of silence, a silence that allowed the illusion of everything being like in the Fairy Tales. Good. Happily ever after.
"Lucy?" I turned towards the voice, and saw Mira looking at me with questioning eyes. Understandable. I smiled, because I had learned to smile as soon as I was old enough to attend social events. It was important to smile.
"Mira? What is it?" I asked while I kept my smile up, let my eyes sparkle in the mask of innocent joy. Natsu didn't have a father. After a brief investigation I found out that most people in this guild were here because they had no other family. Fairy Tail was all some of them had. Who was I to complain, since I HAD a palce to go back to. A place I didn't wish to return to ever again, granted, but it existed none the less. What did I do here again? I had no idea.
"What are you doing out here in the cold?" the beautiful woman asked with that mild voice of hers, and I looked at the sky again.
"I'm stargazing. Mom and I does it all the time when we meet," I replied. Not a lie. I often used to sit by her and stare at the neverending starry carpet.
"You mother?"
"Mhm. I guess I should hurry home before she gets worried," I started walking as I said it, stopped when I sensed something dark heading in my direction. I turned, and there stood Mira. She hadn't moved. Just my imagination, perhaps?
"Where do you live?" she asked. Well, if she absolutely needed a name to refer to...
"Just outside Acalypha. If I hurry up I should be able to make the night train. Ah, it's really getting quite.." I started my frantic speech and took a step back from the smiling woman that at the moment was a bit.. scary?
"Lucy?" Mira interrupted me before I could make my escape, to Acalypha of all places.
"Hm?" I said in a questioning voice. Was it Mirajane that was giving off that dark aura?
"You're lying," she said in a sugar sweet voice, and grabbed my arm, dragged me into the guildhall again. What? How..? And why did all my instinct tell me I shouldn't utter any more lies if I wished to keep my life?
"Natsu?" asked the barmaid as she hauled me in between tables, chairs and people towards the bar where mentioned boy at the moment was in the middle of a meal. He looked up, his mouth full of food, and I think I saw him pale when he saw the expression of my current captor.
"After you've finished eating, could you be so kind and bring Lucy home with you?" she asked, and the boy with the scarf nodded frantically, food debris flying in all direction. I was situated in a chair right next to him, in the middle of the danger zone of flying food. Again. Hadn't it been enough with that one time when I treated him in Hargeon? THe boy with the scarf owned no manners. His cat wasn't much better. The only thing the blue feline had said to me thus far was that I was weird, and mean when I tried protesting on the first accusation. Happy now sat and stared at me in utter silence while his partner finished his meal. Upon leaving the now empty plate his black eyes once more landed on me, filled with curiosity. I chose to keep my mouth shut, at least while the white haired barmaid remained within earshot. Perhaps would she see through my lies once again.
Instead I chose to think about what I could do to get out of this situation. Following Natsu home was unacceptable. No thank you. I'd rather sleep outside. If a whole lie didn't work, I'd go for a half truth. That should work.
We exited the guildhall together, Natsu finally done with his ginormous, meal, now full and content and seemingly completely at ease as he walked beside me, his hands resting behind his head. This boy had no parents, yet he still looked like one of the cheeriest individuals I'd ever met in my entire life. Was all that a lie, or had he really allowed Fairy Tail to take up the role as his family completely? But he WAS looking for his father, Igneel. He'd been looking for his father when he met me. A real dragon. I'd never even seen a real dragon before, and this boy had grown up with one.
"What did you do to bring forward the demon within Mira?" asked Natsu, dragged me out of my endless musings.
"Hm? Demon?" I asked, stopped before we could make it too far from the train station. Natsu didn't seem to notice, instead raised an eyebrow at me while he subconsciously stopped too.
"You know, Mira can be SCARY if she's mad. You're better off keeping her happy," he said instead of explaining what he meant with demon, but I kind of understood it none the less. The dark aura. So it hadn't been my imagination after all.
"Hm." I replied as I absentmindedly started walking again, towards the train station this time, held his gaze that still didn't seem to notice that we no longer were heading in what I assumed to be the direction of his home. I am one of those who run. One of those that doesn't wish to stop for too long in order to see if the past brings something with it. I am one of those who run. My place probably wasn't here, with these people who in all likelihood would give a lot to see their past in the eyes, mayhap even go back to that which was. WHat am I doing here?
"I'll remember that next time," I replied, managed to make another one of those bright smiles to light up my face. He didn't have to be impressed by the gesture. He only needed to see it as a sign of my well being. I stopped, stretched my arms as I broke eye contact in order to make him realize where we were. The feline was sitting on his head, a blue contrast to all the pink. He had remained silent for the whole walk, Happy. Still thought himself too good to talk to me. Maybe did he, like Mirajane, hold the ability to see though the mask. Nah. There probably was some banal reason behind his silence, like for example the fact that I didn't introduce him to Aquarius as I summoned her under the episode with the fake Salamander.
"Thank you for accompanying me to the train station! Ah, there's my train too, just in time! I promise I'll greet Mama from you," I said and he looked genuinely confused.
"What? Mama? Mira told me to.."
"I know what Mira told you, but Mama is waiting. She's in Acalypha at the moment and I don't want to be too late. It's been a while since I saw her last."
"Mama?" he continued, still confused.
"Mhm, Mama, as in my mother. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I didn't wait for him to realize he'd been conned, boarded the train and waved before I was out of sight. Natsu Dragneel didn't handle transport, be it trains, boats, cars or pretty much anything that moved. Except from Happy, the flying cat. A strange boy, Natsu.
I exited the train in Acalypha. The fact that I was heading here hadn't been a lie. That Mama was waiting was also the truth, and I really hadn't been seeing her for quite some time. Only letters. A lot of letters, gathered in a small chest I always kept with me.
"Hello, Mama." I greeted as I found her head stone in the dark after breaking into the cemetery in this small village. Not that breaking an entrance had been all that challenging, because even though the gate remained closed the stony fence that surrounded the place wasn't more than around one and a half meters tall, give or take a few centimeters. There was no answer. Of course not. A rock couldn't talk.
Well, I have quite a lot to tell you today. I decided to join a guild. I know, I know, I've said that plenty of times, but this time it's for real. You're never going to guess which guild I've..." I sat down and leaned against the head stone as I cheerily told about Hargeon, Fairy Tail and my adventure at Mr. Hakobe. It was cold, it was dark and I currently found myself in the middle of a cemetery, but it didn't matter at all. If nothing else the gloomy atmosphere helped to keep me awake.
They arrived at last, however, the tears. They always came before I fell asleep, treacherous but quiet. Because I had to be quiet in order to keep anyone from hearing me. It had been like that for a very long time. It would continue being that way too, more likely than not. I am one of those who run, run and run because I fear what I'm running from. An idiot wearing a white scarf made me forget for a brief moment, and before I knew it I had joined the guild Fairy Tail. And even though I still couldn't see some of them in the eyes, I knew that I would take the train back there in the morning.
***Depressing yo say? I believe so, yes. Just some small drabbles filled with what ifs and whatnot. This doesn't make any sense, you say? Neither was it meant to***