When the Blind See

"It often happens that the real tragedies of life occur in such an inartistic manner that they hurt us by their crude violence, their absolute incoherence, their absurd want of meaning, their entire lack of style."

-Oscar Wilde

Chaper 1: Ashes, Ashes, We All Fall Down

"Snape! What are you doing here?"

Snape didn't say anything, still moving, as if on autopilot. Suddenly, he stumbled and went down, landing, plainly unconscious, in a pool of his own blood. Lily knelt beside him, reaching frantically to take as pulse, only to pull back in horror at her best- ex-best friend's slit arms, gushing blood with enthusiasm. She began crawling backwards, her gaze still fixed morbidly on the sickening damage.

"Sev," she whispered, choking on the single syllable word she had long held dearest to her. Abruptly, nausea descended on her and she darted away from what could easily become her childhood friend's corpse. She retched in a corner, tears coming fast. Why on earth would he do something like that? Was it revenge? From what Lily knew of the boy who she had thought she knew, he'd be perfectly capable of doing this for that exact reason. She'd never have thought that if this was Sev of course. But Snape, he was a different story. She wouldn't put it past him to have done this, knowing she'd feel miserable and guilty if he was hurt, let alone if he died. Oh God! If he died...How could he do this to her? In her mind's eye, she saw his grave, a lonely, desolate thing overrun by weeds, and sobbed harder into her hands.

"Dammit Snape," she whispered into the corner.

Then, suddenly, Lily heard something from where Severus had been. Maybe it had all been some sort of dirty trick! She gasped, fury flashing within her. She spun, crouching low in hopes to catch him in the act, muttering a fierce nox to her wand. Footsteps squelched down the hallway. Lily frowned. She couldn't see a thing!

As if whoever-it-was could hear her thoughts, dim light filtered through the corridor. Lily leaned furtively forward, issuing a soft gasp as her eyes caught on a Greek-God like frame and rugged black locks. Black, precisely! One Sirius Black, to be specific. Oh! If he caught her here, drenched in vomit, obviously crying, he'd tell Potter and Potter would-

She heard an exclamation of Snivellous as if from a distance. However, the squealing pat of trainers on the floor, of Black running, resounded in her ears. He screamed something as he ran. He was yelling for help, running for Pomfrey, she guessed. Running. It was a good idea. Lily's body reacted automatically to the thought and she darted from the hallway.

Lily arrived at the Fat Lady panting. She checked her watch. 11:30. Good, that meant her shift was pretty much over anyway. Lily took a moment to catch her breath.

"Bumble Butter," She said at last, attempting a gracious smile that came out looking far more like a halfhearted simper. The image of Snape's crumpled body had returned to haunt her in her oasis.

"Lily!" It was Mary, her eyes gleaming.

Lily turned to fully face her friend.

"Mary," she exhaled, relieved.

Mary, however, looked completely the opposite of relieved. Her soft brown eyes bugged out, her mouth fell open, and her face turned ashen. She released a soft gasp then whispered, "Lily Evans, what on Earth happened to you?"

Lily stared at her in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

Mary raised her eyebrows, looking perturbed.

"Um, Lils, you're covered in blood."

Lily's chest tightened and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She uttered a hysterical giggle, choking slightly.

"Oh that, that's nothing," she replied nervously, another giggle interrupting her defense half-way through. She spotted Potter sitting with Lupin and Pettigrew on the couch and her stomach lurched. She immediately started for the girl's dormitory, desperate to escape. She felt like she was suffocated. She tumbled upstairs and collapsed, trembling, onto her bed, legs hanging over the side with knees pressed tightly together. A sob broke through her lips, then another. A creaking alerted her to Mary's presence. The other girls were all still downstairs. Lily chose to ignore Mary's presence, even when her footsteps began, creeping warily forward. Mary slowly sat down beside her, assuming the same position as Lily, but with back ramrod straight.

Finally she said, "Just tell me if you're hurt, Lily. Is that your blood?"

Lily sobbed again and shook her head, at first just so Mary would have some form of answer, but then found herself unable to stop, scarlet curls whipping back and forth with the rest of her in a desperate denial. Mary nodded once, as if to herself, then scooted closer to Lily and tentatively wrapped her arms around her.

Eventually Lily's sobbing calmed to deep, rattling breaths, and then settled into calm shallow ones as she fell asleep, exhausted. Mary swallowed and laid her friend down gingerly, easing the girl carefully from her arms and fully onto the bed. She stood and looked down at Lily, then removed her wand and pointed it at her friend, murmuring a sad "scourgify" and then pocketing her wand and slowly making her way to her own bed, pulling off her robes as she went. She put on a nightgown and climbed between the covers, glancing warily at Lily's bed, just beside her own. Lily moaned softly in her sleep, face contorting and mumbled a sad sounding "Sev…". Mary shivered and pulled the covers tighter around herself, restraining a growl. Of course. 'Damn Snape….' With that final thought, Mary drifted off to sleep.

Lily's first thought at waking was of pancakes. A big, fluffy stack, embedded with oozing chocolate chips and dripping in syrup, which would pool deliciously…Then, the image of syrup turned crimson and Lily bolted up, ran into the loo, and promptly threw up.