A/N Bored. Sitting here at home and daydreaming of…
An update! Whoo yeah!
You're so lucky.
Today, Akito was bored, and so was I.
So we went…
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BIRD WATCHING, GASP!
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It was f-u-n.
It's my favorite thing to do.
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Besides videotaping Hatori in the shower.
Muahaha.
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I even brought my encyclopedia. I made Akito read it for me.
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"So it says here that this rare species of bird keeps nice and warm in its nest all year long, mating with 22,987 other birds of its species in its lifetime, having 9,888.456929932402231086276473 offspring a year, AND…"
"…"
"…7,986,253.2 RA.PE VICTIMS, BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"OMFA THAT'S SO HOT"
"What?"
"…"
"Look! A titmouse!"
"TITS? WHERE!"
"Aren't you gonna catch it?"
"Like hell I will!"
"…"
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Poor Akito. No matter how hard she tries, she will never understand any of my se.xual desires.
That and…she's just not sexy enough.
(cries)
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"Aww, what's wrong, Kureno?"
"(sniff sniff) P-poor Akito! So young, so ignorant…so un-sexy…she couldn't even rape a soda machine!"
"Oh, but I CAN!"
"…"
"What? Can't I rape soda machines?"
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That Momiji, I'm tellin' ya.
His mumma should've taught him not to be so vulgar…
…Yet he's so sexy it kills me.
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"Um, Kureno?"
"Yes, my precious Yun-Yun?"
"You're thinking out loud...and talking about Momiji in a very sexual way…"
"But Yuki, I thought you liked sexual things!"
"…True…"
"…"
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I think Yuki should work as a sexaholic.
It'd do him good.
Even though he's cursed…
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But hey! I'm not! I could become one!
…Eh. Maybe not. I'm too sexy for that crap.
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"Akito!"
"What is it, Kureno?"
"I am God!"
"GASP"
"…In bed."
"Noo0000oo0oo0oooo0000o0o0ooo00oo0oo0 I am supposed to be God in bed, you said it yourself!"
"Ya wanna prove that you're God in bed?"
"YES"
"Well, I'm sorry Akito, but you're just…not…sexy enough. (turns and walks away)"
"NOOO COME BAAAACCKK! (angst)"
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Okay. I'll try someone else. Let's see how they react.
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"TOHRU"
"Oh! Yes? What is it, Kureno-san?"
"Um…that is…you'renotsexyenoughsoyou'renotgoodenoughinbed."
"Eh? EH! W-qweywtwtes6t584653275erkegtsfgsf spazzspazzspazz"
"Yay! Spazzing!"
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"Hey, Ritsu!"
"Y-yes?"
"You're so un-smexable, you couldn't screw a wall! You're useless! You're horrible in bed!"
"I AM SOOOO SORRY I'LL BE GOOD IN BED FOR YOU RIGHT NOW I'LL GO SCREW A WALL IF I HAVE TO I AM SOOO SORRY FOR NOT BEING SEXY ENOUGH I WILL APOLOGIZE TO THE WOOOOORLD!" (dies)
"O.O Wow."
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No. I don't really think that.
Ritsu, like Momiji, is o n e s e x y b a s t a r d.
Thinking of him and a bed is very arousing…
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"Kureno. You're thinking out loud. Again."
No0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o Yuki I wasn't, cuuuuuurse yoooooouuuuu!"
"I'm already cursed. Curse you."
"…Dammit."
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Yuki just cursed me.
(cries)
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Y'know, I never thought of the benefits of staying cursed by a zodiac animal.
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There's what just happened, for one…
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…But I can't communicate with any birds. Waah!
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What a shame. It would be so cool if I could get one to do some p0rn for me. But I can't…I'm...I'm not cursed!
(sad)
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"Hey Kisa! Is that p0rn you're watching?"
"Yes."
"Yay!" (Is happy again)
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Now, if only I could talk Kisa into doing p0rn…
A/N: Credit to Dukoro-chan for the 'sexaholic' thing.
This chapter was terrible! Whoopee!
Neptune