Second Entry
Location: Apartment
Time: 10:03pm
Dear Diary,
I've been home from the hospital for a few days now and everything has changed. I want back to my boss' office the first day and immediately, I was hit with complaints and stupid tasks to do. Just the look on his face got me so mad. He didn't even ask how I was feeling or noticed that even moving was painful for me to do. I knew that I did not want to work like that any more, so I quite. Well, I gave a short speech about how I was an abused, unappreciated worker and then knocked something over. I could hear him yelling as I walked out of the building. So now I'm unemployed with money running out. I've looked around for jobs at restaurants and small shops, but none were hiring or I didn't have the skills to preform the job anyway. If things keep up this way, I'm going to be living out of my car full-time. I plan to cut back to things like food and cable. But the one thing I will never in this world do is go back to that place I used to call a job and beg to be rehired. I'd rather live in Satellite then do that.
On a happier note, when I went back to the hospital to pick up the rest of my medications, Greiger was there and he told me that he was getting to go back to his village soon. He seemed so excited to be able to finally see his brother and sister again. I wished him luck. We made a pack to keep in touch, which was really nice. Normally with me, friends come and go. I don't mind it too much. I'm not always lonely and I always meet fresh faces. Sometimes I wish I could, however, have that life-long friend that has always been there. Of course, whenever I really get attached to someone, it will all fall apart. Like with Jack.
I miss him. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. He is still so handsome and wonderful, even with his personality flaws. But he belongs in stars, while I belong with the normal people. Sometimes, I wish he would find me on the street, sweep me off my feet and carry me away to his world. He could be very romantic if he just breaks open that hard shell of his. He could help so many people. Why am I still thinking about him? He's like that high school crush you have one class with and never talk to, but you fantasize so much about them. Or that one television character who you know isn't real, but can't help wait for. Maybe if I actually start doing something with my life, I'll forget about Jack Atlas. Why couldn't I have forgotten about him instead of my accident?
Grieger also told me that Kalin was going to be cleared to leave the hospital in a few days. I'm not sure where he lives or if anyone is coming to get him. If not, I guess I can help him out a bit. I could take him out on the town to make him feel better...like I did with Jack. No! Kalin is a friend. I don't have I crush on him like I did with Jack. Even if he is handsome too. Kalin has that edge not many people have, but I'm sure he can be sweet too. I feel bad for him after hearing about what he went through as a kid and with his friends. He hasn't told me much, but I get the idea. He still is a good person, even if he did do some bad things in his past. Kalin was lost. A lot of people get that way, he just took it to a different level. He'll get things together. I'm sure of it.
As for that book I planned on writing, the whole storyline I mentioned earlier is out. I realized I want to write about events, why people do things and what's going on in their minds. I guess you could say I want to interview people about a certain topic or event and write about what they think. And no I'm not a psychologist, even if that was my backup major after high school. Journalism is still better in my opinion. My life is totally confusing right now. I don't know what I want to do, who I want to be with or what I'm even doing tomorrow. I could do almost anything, so what's stopping. I'm glad I got this diary. Without it, all this blabbing I'm doing would stay in my head and drive me insane.
I guess I should get some rest to continue my job hunt tomorrow. Maybe I could go visit Kalin before he leaves. He seems to get my mind off Jack and everything else that's going on.
~C. Carmine