My eyes widened but i stood still very still.
I stayed in that position for what seemed like hours. Just standing there trying to soak in what I had just been told.
My mothers dead, my mothers dead ,it can't be , i just saw her last night. She was there ,then how can she be gone now?
I didn't know what to do. Dad was just standing there leaning on the sofa head and looking down crying so hard i though he was having a panic attack. All i could do was stand there and not move .I would've expected tears if my mother had died . But no tears. It was like they didn't want to come out.
Dad lifted his head while removing his tears from his eyes.
"Darling we have to go to the accident and identify your mother properly".
I laughed at this ,how could he one minute tell me my mothers dead and the next minute tell me there's a chance she might not be. Once again the tears started pouring out of dads eyes whereas mine . No tears , not one drop.
Wait a minutes maybe I'm not crying , because its not real , maybe this is a joke. Would my dad joke about something like this? would he?
I stood there in the same position for a long time . Trying to figure out what was going on. Then i couldn't take the silence anymore so I ran to my room.
I ran all the way and slammed my door shut. I ran to my mirror and sat down on my seat. I starred at myself for a long time trying to figure out if this was real or not.
In my heart I really wanted it to be a joke but in my head I knew my dad would never make a stupid joke like that. I stared at myself longer .I leaned in closer to my reflection .I touched the mirror, and then slowly touched my cheeks. I closed my eyes and thought again about what just happened .I was so angry at myself. For not saying anything. For just standing there like an idiot while my father cried so hard i though he was going to explode.
I hit my self on my face. A red mark slowly started appearing on my pulpy skin ,but no tears. I started screaming and then hit myself harder. Still no tears .I hit the mirror really hard and hit it again and again until i heard a crack. I started yelling so loud I thought my ears would burst. I don't even know what i was saying , I was just screaming louder each time .I was like a kid again screaming when my mum said I could have any ice-cream.
I got up and kicked the chair, then kicked the wooden legs of my bed. I screamed louder. I just wanted to get rid of the pain or at least get a reaction from the it. Maybe a tear. Normally everything would go by my tears but now my tears wouldn't work, as if they were useless .So my only option was to smash everything in my path .I jumped on my bed and chucked the sheets around .I got my pink bedside lamp and smashed it on the floor. I could see my face going red, my veins were sticking out of my ams. The glass shattered and went all over the white carpet.
My dad ran in to the room and just starred at my room in shock. Normally I had always been really clean and took care of everything but at that moment I felt like it didn't matter. No matter how much mess there was , it would never matter.
I starred at my dad. He looked saddened by my room. Not by the mess. But i think at my reaction to the news .Even thought I didn't think he could get any sadder. I starred at him with an apologetic look on my face .He nodded in a way that i knew he was accepting of my reaction.
"But there still could be a chance. We have to go and see the body. Maybe it wont be her and she's still alive. Come on lets go" i said so quickly I didn't even think about what i was saying.
I looked at him one more time then I started running for the front door. I ran straight past the wooden staircase and passed the glass chandelier. I grabbed my coat and put it on. I still had my pyjamas on underneath , but fashion was the last thing on my mind right now. My dad soon followed and we were out the door in no time.
An awkward silence filled the air on the way to the accident. As we drove to the scene I started to get butterflies. Butterflies fluttering around so much I didn't think I would be able to move .I started to get a really bad headache so i let my head rest on the leather seat. This couldn't be happening. Its meant to be a normal Sunday morning .My mother should be making coffee and breakfast ,my father should be reading the news paper at the table and I should be asleep like the lazy person of the family.
I looked at my watch. It's was now 8:30 a.m . Mum should be yelling at me to wake up so I can take my dog bean for a walk. This shouldn't be happening .Its all wrong. This should not be happening right now.
We arrived at the scene and I took a deep breath, this was it. I saw my mums car and I felt like I needed more air. The car was all smashed up .It was upsetting to see my mothers car being towed into a tow truck. It felt as if she was being towed away with it, like it was all over. There were police officers everywhere and 3 paramedics putting 2 people in the ambulance one of them be my mother.
My dad stopped the car and he took of his seat belt. He hesitated for a moment then looked at me.
"Stay here for a minute , okay" he said very still.
I slowly nodded and he jumped out of the car.
I saw him walk all the way up to the police officer. The man looked sad and tired. He then directed my dad to the scene.
I wanted to get out of the car and go see if it was my mum ,But I couldn't pull myself together. I just wanted to stay in this position forever. At this rate it was better to not know ,than to know.
I closed my eyes and started to think. About everything, about what happened last night, the fight my mother and I had .At how my mum had said bye and how i didn't say anything. How I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she had won. How could i be so childish ? I started cringing at what I was imagining until I was interrupted by my dads phone. It said aunt Sheryl on it. I couldn't bare to move ,i couldn't answer. What would is say ? I sat there still for longer than i antisipated and closed my eyes. I continued cringing about this tragic Sunday morning. Until the phone stopped ringing .I looked at it then looked out the window.I saw something on the ground. It was small and sparkly.
My first instinct was to go see what it was. But my instincts weren't working right I just sat there and wondered what it could possible be. Until I was sick of being suspenseful. I slowly opened the car door and shut it trying to be quiet. My father turned around at the sound of the door shut and closed his lips.
When he turned back around to talk to the officer, I walked over to the piece of glittery substance. I could only see a little bit of it but for some reason I was fascinated with it. I slowly walked closer towards it until I could touch it. It was behind the wheel of my mums car. I reached for the bright metal and pulled it out from behind the wheel. With it in my hand, at a snail pace I got up and looked it at it. It was my mums necklace. It was perfectly shaped just like her one had been . At that moment , just staring at this insignificant piece of jewelry ,I looked at it differently .Like i was seeing it through different eyes. Before it was just a neckless my mother never took off. But now it was the most exemplary piece of jewelry , that shined more than a moon at its peek.
I cupped the piece of metal in my hand and closed my eyes. This was it. Just holding this necklace made it feel like she was really was gone. I put the neckless in my pyjama pocket and opened my eyes. I pulled my shoulders back. I put my head up high and told myself to pull it together ...for my father. I started walking towards my dad until he slowly turned around.
He looked at me with glistening eyes and an apologetic frown. Like it was his fault. He then nodded and gave me this look, and I could just see it in his eyes, that it was true. She did die. She was gone.
That nod explained so much. It meant the one person who had been there for me always, was now gone. It meant I was now motherless. But mostly what meant most was that , i didn't say good bye to the one person i saw everyday.
More tears erupted from my fathers face .I slowly walked over to him and tightly tugged my arms around his chest and leaned my head on his shoulder. For just that single moment it was as if the world had stopped and it was just me and him that existed. At that Moment no one knew what it felt like. We were the only ones that new what had happened. She was gone. And that was the end of it. Life was what was happening around us, While my father and i just stood there wrapped in each-others arms hoping or praying for this to be a dream or in this case a nightmare. What were we going to do now. One member of our family was now gone. Taken away. Not only from the world. But from our hearts .
Hey guys, this is the second chapter. Thanks for all the reviews and for the advice. More chapters should be coming soon. So i hope you enjoy and keep reviewing.
XoXo Sera