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Katie woke up cold, which was beginning to be a regular occurrence. She was always cold now-a-days. Her bed, her bath, hell she would even say her heart was cold too. The world felt like it was devoid of warmth, love, and happiness. Sometimes she felt as though she was the only one who remembered what life used to be like, or maybe she was the only one that missed it.
Bathing quickly, she tried her best to clean herself up. Hardly any make up was around anymore, but she still put as much as she could spare on. The other woman living in the camp thought she was the only that was but together, but that couldn't be further from the truth. She was probably the most broken out of all of them. There was still a part of the vain girl inside of her thinking that if she looked good she was okay, but mostly she used it to cover the scars. In a not so mice world she had too many scars to count.
Her chin was slammed into a brick wall; a fist busted the side of her eyes open; a gunshot wound to her right shoulder; many more bullets to her torso; and her favorite was the deep cut to the side of her abdomen where some son of a bitch tried to cut out her baby. Dean used to love that scar, saying it was the first time he realized he was going to be a father. Everything would be better one day if only for their son. The baby was their salvation, a reason to fight.
"Mommy," the small voice came from behind, and Katie almost screamed as she pulled her black tank top over her head.
"Baby, what have I said about sneaking up on people?" Katie scolded, picking up her small son easily. She smiled as she saw his sleepy green eyes staring at her full of apology.
She hated how dirty he always looked. His hands with dirt under the nails and smudges on his face, not to mention the dust that collected all around him made it look as if he were a street orphan. This camp wasn't a place to raise a child, hell this world wasn't fit for a child. Katie tired her best to protect him and love him as best she could. Her son was all she had in the world.
"Kate, Dean needs your help." A female voice called through the screen door.
She had to be the lucky one, with a son, a husband, and a decent house to live in, but Katie envied the other woman. They went on the missions, they partied with Cas while Katie worked harder than anyone. Katie was the den mother. She took care of everyone and everything, feeding them, healing them, soothing them. She went from being a carefree single woman to a mother of dozens.
"You good, John?" She asked her son, placing him on his feet. "Go play with Uncle Chuck." She called as he ran out the door.
"Whoa, watch it J." Dean called out as he tried getting in the house as the boy left. "He needs to be more careful." Katie rolled her eyes, walking over to her husband.
"Got an early start today," She asked pulling on her jacket as she stepped through the door of the house.
"Things need to get done." He explained from behind her.
"You should get more sleep. You're starting to look old." Katie told him stone faced brushing his cheek with the back of her fingers before walking down the porch steps.
Katie hadn't become too distracted to notice what went on, like Dean assumed. She knew he was with another woman, probably Risa. He was the same man, and yet so different. He loved her for a while, really loved her. They married three years ago, and tried to raise a baby during the Apocalypse. But when the Croatoan virus spread he changed as did everything around them. Katie tried not to blame him, but deep down she knew she did. Katie thought they would make it out and live the fairy tale ending, but she was wrong. She knew that if they survived the virus and killing Lucifer, she still wouldn't be able to forgive him for what he'd done to her life. The only thing she would ever thank Dean for is giving her a beautiful son.
Walking through the compound, Katie tried not to focus on what was going on around her. The gun shots and other noises only made the grim atmosphere more prevalent. There were so many things she wished she'd done before this happened to the world, and there were even more things she wished she had never done.
"Kaitlyn, beautiful as ever." Castiel complimented as he saw her approaching.
"Cas, you know that charm doesn't work on me." Katie laughed, stopping to hug her friend. She couldn't remember why she had ever hated the angel, now she couldn't live without him. He was the only person she could count on, a confidant that was keeping her sane.
"Maybe one day," he sighed, kissing her hand delicately.
"In your dreams, angel." She whispered leaning in and giving him the perfect opportunity to kiss her cheek.
"Cas," Dean's voice boomed.
"Dean, I was admiring your beautiful wife." Cas smiled wrapping an arm around Katie. She smiled at Cas before glancing at Dean, his expression hard.
"Lighten up, babe. If I was sleeping around, you'd know." Katie reassured, brushing his arm as she walked by.
"She's feisty, I love that about her." Cas smiled, watching the woman throw a glare behind her to Dean.
"She's something," Dean said through clenched teeth, leaving Cas where he stood.
Katie spends most of her afternoons helping make food for lunch. What she wouldn't do for a hamburger. Sometimes she would pretend they were making better food, like a barbeque. John had never eaten anything like what she grew up on. By the time the virus started spreading he was barely old enough to eat solid food. She tried as best she could to make the task fun, talking with the few that helped, but she was never able to feel completely relaxed.
"Mommy look," John squealed as he ran towards her with a beer can clutched in his hands. She shared a quick glance with Chuck before turning back to her son.
"What's that, baby," She scooped him into her arms.
"Daddy taught me how to shoot it." John smiled at the hole in the can. Katie tried to remain calm while still holding her child, but seeing his father standing only a few feet away she was finding it difficult.
"Did he?" Katie glared at her husband again. "What's all over your shirt?" She put her son down and ran to look at the dark stains on Dean's shirt. With a closer look she noticed the blood smeared all over him.
"It's not mine," he waved her off. "And he didn't shoot it, the whole was already there." He said quietly, as if it made it okay for her son to try shooting anything no matter how bad it was. She watched him awestruck as he waltzed over to pick at the food Chuck had laid out.
"Is it the screaming man's?" John asked. Katie looked at him horrified before staring, wide eyed, at Dean.
"I hope you got what you wanted." Katie hissed at Dean. "I'm taking care of him tonight. And no more guns for John." Katie told him picking up her son briskly, kissing the top of his sandy blond hair.
"But mom," John complained staring back at his father as Katie carried him away.
"Kate, come on. You knew I had to start teaching him soon enough." Dean called after her. Katie didn't stop as she heard his voice.
"Mommy, what about lunch?" John asked as he turned to stare back at his mother. Katie stopped and looked into her son's green eyes, his father's eyes. She hated how much he looked like Dean.
"Everything alright?" Castiel asked as he passed by.
"He's hungry, can you take him? I have some things to do." Katie placed her son in Cas's arms and continued on towards her house.
Katie stood on her porch, nursing a beer as she stared out across the vast camp. These were the days she wished went by faster. It was easier to stay away from Dean when he had something else to do, but on slow days like these all she wanted to do was fight. He was easier to get along with that way. She seemed to get his attention better when they were fighting, it was the only time that he ever really noticed her.
A part of her saw so much of his father in Dean, and as ashamed as she was at that thought, she hated him for that. He loved his son, but not like a five year old needed. Katie didn't want her baby learning how to shoot or fight at all, though she knew he would need it in the future. She wanted him to have a normal childhood as best he could before becoming a mini-hunter. Dean never really had that, but Katie did.
"I put him to bed." Dean said learning against the door frame behind her.
"Did you make sure he washed up?" She asked not turning to look at him.
"Yeah, cleaned behind his ears and everything." He said sarcastically, pushing off the frame. Katie turned, to glare at him, but only saw his retreating back.
"Why do you have to talk to me like that?" She asked, not moving from her spot on the porch. "You act like everything I say is ridiculous, is it so bad for me to want John to be clean or fed or happy for God's sake?"
"Why do you always have to pick a fight with me, especially in front of him and the others?" Dean asked, walking quickly back out from the night. Katie inhaled sharply as he stood in front of her.
"Fighting's the only time I get you all to myself, isn't it?" She said turning her back on him. "It didn't used to be this way. We would fight for the fun of it, as a joke. Now it's the only time we ever speak."
"If you didn't make things so difficult," Dean started, but Katie turned around quickly her hand connecting with his face as hard as she could.
"Me, this isn't all my fault. You have to take some if not most of the blame here Dean." Katie took a few steps closer to him. "You left my bed, you walk out of this house all the time. How is that my fault?"
"I have a lot to take care of, Kate." He told her stepping away, rubbing his cheek from her blow. She bowed her head, hiding the tears that were beginning to fall.
"How about your son, or wife? After Detroit with Sam," Katie started.
"Don't talk about that." He said forcibly.
"We don't talk about anything." Katie yelled, letting her tears fall freely down her cheeks. "Things are bad Dean, this is when we need each other most. Don't push me away." She stepped closer to him, but he didn't react to her at all. She breathed out heavily, wiping at her cheeks. "Did you kill the demon?" She asked as deadpan as she could muster.
"Dead and buried," Dean said clearing his throat and stuffing his fists in his pockets. "I didn't know J heard him, I'm sorry." He said plainly. Katie would take an unemotional apology over nothing.
Katie finished her beer and headed through the door, stopping next to him. "Are you coming to in?" She glanced into the green eyes she fell in love with and wished she could see love reflected back if only for a second.
"In a minute," he told her, looking away.
"Don't lie to me. You owe me that much." She told him as she walked through the main room pealing her jacket off as she walked, before disappearing in her bedroom.