IM NOT A MAN NOT YET A WOMAN
CHAPTER 2
POV Martha:
I knew I was supposed to be looking after the Tardis, but I was so hungry. Nandos was only 10 minutes walk from my current location.
"Now listen here you insolent negress, you will not leave the Tardis unattended. I'll not have you fraternising with the Slitheen like earlier this week."
I heard The Doctor's voice from moments ago in my head, warning me. But I craved that succulent crispy chicken in me. Before I knew it, I was rounding the Bob McClane Memorial Museum and looking up at the welcoming, spicy luminescence of the Nandos sign. Slamming the door open, I rammed my way past the lesser patron; mine was an urgent hunger, theirs could wait. I stood at the front counter, panting with need.
"TENDIIESSS!"
The woman behind the counter said nought to my plea. This would not do.
"I demand your tender succulent breasts of chickenflesh." I grabbed my own full mammaries for emphasis.
"Now listen here Aunt Jemima, there are limits to my servitude." Said the Nandos employee who I now recognised as Kathy Bates.
Realising that I would not receive what I had due, I sprung athletically over the countertop with the grace of a thousand gazelles, landing softly. The deep fryer was now visible, sweet, sweet chickenflesh was a-sizzle. I leaped towards my destiny. My god given right, that crispy fried chicken within my grasp. Diving my arm into the oil of the deep fryer, I reached into the scolding depths and grabbed piece after piece of chicken, shoving the goods under my arms, betwixt my breasts, behind my ear, under my chin, in my hair, and down my pants – screaming impatiently as I went.
POV: Serena Lively
I couldn't believe Turqoise broke her promise to me. "No more trading sex for goods and services" I had told her, and what had she done? Why, only allowed the landlord access to her anus for merely $25 of rent. Her ass was supposed to be mine, and mine alone. I drowned my sorrows in the Nando's pureed chicken smoothie. I wiped the tears out of my eyes to clear my blurred vision and noticed for the first time a portly figure attempting to mount the counter top. She clambered effortfully for several laborious minutes before summiting and dropping awkwardly over the other side. I watched as she, after picking herself back up and catching her breath, made her way over to the deep fryer and plunged in, feasting on the still frying chicken. It occurred to me the woman seemed familiar. That hair – so alike a pineapple. Those hips – so suited to child bearing. That skin – black as the ace of spades. This was the woman for whom Turqoise lusted. I knew what I must do to regain my lover's favour – capture this time concubine and present her to my lady, unmolested.
I took matters into my own hands and clambered effortfully onto the counter.
My laborious efforts continued for several minutes before I summited. The deep fryer was now visible, sweet, sweet chickenflesh was a-sizzle. I leaped towards my destiny.