Note: some commenters found the story familiar. I did post it on other sites, but it's the first time I post it here. That being said, other story with similar permises have likely been posted. I'm sorry I don't answer to all comments (I will if you have a particular question), but I want to let you know that I love them, so thank you to all of you who took the time to leave a review! :-)
Netherfield, Tuesday evening
When Collins entered the drawing room with his cousins, Mr Wickham was nowhere to be seen. Mr Denny was here, however, and, as Kitty and Lydia Bennet were determined to dance with his friend, they applied to him about Mr Wickham's whereabouts. Mr Denny answered that the gentleman had left for town the day before, as he had a matter of business which could not have been delayed and had not yet returned. He added, looking at Elizabeth with a smile:
"I do not imagine his business would have called him away just now if he had not wished to avoid a certain gentleman here."
It was not lost on Collins that Mr Wickham had done precisely what he had said he would not. Cousin Elizabeth frowned, so he hoped she had also realised the contradiction. Mr Darcy approached her then, and it seemed to Collins that she remained displeased with him. The clergyman joined his cousins and was formally introduced to Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley. After they had exchanged some civilities, Mr Bingley left them to attend his other guests, which resulted in Cousin Jane's smile faltering for a moment. Mr Darcy, looking at Cousin Elizabeth, seemed to hesitate over something but, at that moment, she caught sight of someone and excused herself from the group.
She went to speak with a plain looking lady, of an age with himself, who greeted her with pleasure. Their friendship appeared far more sincere than the one Miss Bingley had professed towards Cousin Jane some days earlier. When he went to claim Cousin Elizabeth for their dances, he was introduced to the lady, a Miss Lucas, whom he had heard Mrs Bennet speak of in rather derogatory terms. He acquitted himself reasonably well during his dance with his cousin, aware that he was not the most graceful or dignified of dancers but still avoiding to distress his partner with wrong moves. As a result, he wasn't very talkative, and Cousin Elizabeth teased him for his solemnity, but he would rather be focused on the dances instead of apologising for bringing mortification to her.
He danced next with Cousin Jane, and when the set was over, he returned her to her mother and searched for Miss Lucas. His other cousins were all engaged for the next and, as he wished to dance, he planned to ask her. Cousin Elizabeth, after having danced with an officer, had come back to her friend as he arrived. The three of them were in conversation when Mr Darcy, appearing seemingly out of nowhere—William had been paying more attention to Miss Lucas than to their immediate surroundings—applied for Cousin Elizabeth's hand. She accepted him, and he walked away while she huffed in frustration.
"I dare say you will find him very agreeable," Miss Lucas ventured in a soothing voice.
"Heaven forbid! That would be the greatest misfortune of all! To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! Do not wish me such an evil."
"Surely you cannot mean that, Cousin. What has the man ever done to you? And do not speak about Mr Wickham. That gentleman's self-exclusion from this event, when he had previously told you that he would not shy away from Mr Darcy, does not speak well of his character."
"Eliza resents the fact that Mr Darcy did not find her pretty enough to dance with when they first met."
"Charlotte!"
"You know it to be true," Miss Lucas chided her. "He injured your vanity and, since then, you have been looking for more substantial reasons to dislike him. In any case, he seems to have changed his mind."
"This is why you lent credit to such a flimsy tale? I am disappointed, Cousin. I had thought you to be more discerning. Your father did laud your wit—but he also noted that you disliked reassessing your impressions, and you proved him correct. This is something one would expect from a child, not from a young lady."
Elizabeth had scowled at him and was still sulking when the dancing recommenced. It was more directed at her friend and cousin for having pointed out that she was at least as vain as she had accused Mr Darcy of being than at the gentleman himself; because of their reproach, she had resolved to be more pleasant towards him than she had been until the present. When her partner came to claim her, Mr Collins and Miss Lucas followed them, and the four young people took their place in the set.
Collins found in Miss Lucas an agreeable partner. They talked at first about Cousin Elizabeth and her stubbornness when it came to challenging her opinions, and soon drifted to other subjects; they discovered they had much in common. As he ventured a glance to his left, William determined that his cousin was not as happy with her partner as he was with his. They seemed not to speak much, though civilly enough when they did. It was not lost on Collins that Mr Darcy smiled at Cousin Elizabeth quite often, and he resolved to observe him in order to determine whether this was his usual way or if he had a special interest in his cousin.
At this point of the dance, he and Miss Lucas were near enough to the couple to overhear their conversation and, after he shared a glance with his partner, they listened to them.
"When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance," said Cousin Elizabeth with an edge in her voice.
Mr Darcy did not answer at first and, throwing a look at him, William saw his face shut down. At length, he spoke in a clipped manner.
"Mr Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may ensure his making friends—whether he may be equally capable of retaining them is less certain."
"He has been so unlucky as to lose your friendship," replied his cousin with emphasis, "and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life."
Looking at Miss Lucas, Collins could see she was not pleased with her friend, and before Darcy could answer, Sir William Lucas passed by them while crossing the room. On seeing Mr Darcy, he stopped, bowed to him, and complimented him at length on his dancing and his partner, throwing an allusion to the expectation of a match between Cousin Jane and Mr Bingley in the midst of it.
On hearing this, Darcy looked with some concern at Mr Bingley and Cousin Jane, who were dancing together. When Sir William had left, he turned to his partner.
"Sir William's interruption has made me forget what we were talking of."
"I do not think we were speaking at all—"
"Truly, Cousin?" Collins snapped. "I believe you were demonstrating your failure to sketch a character properly as well as your implacable resentment."
At this, both his cousin and her partner stared at him while Miss Lucas nodded.
"You are too stubborn for your own good, Eliza. Why can you not admit that your judgement is not infallible?"
"That, my dear Miss Lucas, is because of her pride," Collins spat. "My cousin is so proud of her intellect that she cannot imagine it can be faulty and has therefore dispensed herself of being cautious when assessing a character."
"Now, Mr Collins—"
"I can name three gentlemen you grossly misjudged only this past week. Can you deny it?"
Elizabeth's astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, but remained silent.
"Who is the third?" Miss Lucas asked cautiously when it was clear that the others were still too shocked by Collins's outburst to speak.
"That would be my cousin," said Cousin Elizabeth, finding her voice at last while avoiding their gazes.
A shuffle recalled them to their surroundings, and they resumed their place in the dance. Cousin Elizabeth and Mr Darcy had a definitely sheepish air around them. Collins had to refrain from laughing, and he was confident he heard a giggle coming from the vicinity of Miss Lucas.
Mr Darcy seemed to have forgotten all about his friend and Cousin Jane, looking instead at William now and then with unrestrained wonder. Collins could not resist teasing him when the dance made them pass each other.
"Not quite the type of clergyman you'd imagine Her Ladyship would hire," he said, winking at him, which nearly made the sedate gentleman miss a step.
When the dances were over, the four young people stayed together to converse more calmly. Collins had thought that Mr Darcy would excuse himself and flee to the other side of the ballroom as fast as he could politely do so. However, he did not, and they looked at each other in silence. It was first broken by the eldest gentleman.
"If you do not mind," Mr Darcy said cautiously, "would you share with us how you came to obtain your position at Hunsford?"
"You want to hear it, and I have no objection to telling you. The short answer is that I shamelessly flattered her. Are you interested in the long one?"
Mr Darcy's lips twitched, and he nodded.
"It is quite simple: I had heard about the living from some school fellows. The position was deemed very fine, save for an unfortunate circumstance: the character of the Lady in whose power it was to bestow it. A couple of acquaintances had solicited an interview with her, but Lady Catherine ultimately had not hired them. One of them was rejected without having even met her, the ideas he shared in the letter he sent her having not, evidently, met with her approval. Those who had met her described her as a—but perhaps I should not say it—" Collins interrupted himself with a frown.
"Do not censure yourself on my account," Darcy interjected.
"—a tyrannical old biddy, I'm afraid. One who, before we were better acquainted, expected nothing but servility from her clergyman and expected to approve of all the speeches he would make. They were put off by her demands, and she by their unwillingness to do her will rather than that of the Lord. I enquired a little more about both Hunsford and Rosings, determined that I could be comfortable there, and, once she granted me an interview, said exactly what I knew she wanted to hear and acted as I knew she would like." Collins paused in his speech and, looking at his cousin, added, "I certainly crafted every flattering compliment I could think about in anticipation of that meeting and, as you can see, it served me well."
Darcy nodded again, and his smile was less fleeting. "I gather that my aunt was deeply unhappy. I wonder that she did not make her disappointment known."
At this, Collins smirked. "Come now, sir. Your aunt is an extremely proud woman. Do you really think she would own to having made a mistake?"
Darcy smirked back, and Elizabeth, who had begun to forget the set down her cousin had given her, promptly looked at her hem again. On noticing that, Collins addressed her gently.
"Now, Cousin, I trust you are still too young to be as set in your ways as Her Ladyship is. There is yet hope for you."
Elizabeth looked at him doubtfully as he continued. "You must learn not to rely on your first impressions only, as the past week has proved to you. I dare say you now understand this. And do not pout like that—it is an expression I should more easily imagine on my youngest cousin."
Cousin Elizabeth's expression became more pronounced. "Your letter was ridiculous, and your behaviour when you arrived did not dispel that impression. What was I to think?"
"I was observing you at first. As for the letter, I am guilty as charged, but I had my reasons for not being forthright."
Mr Collins then hesitated. Sensing that the clergyman may be about to impart some information he would not wish to share with a stranger to the family and seeing that the dancers were lining up again, Mr Darcy turned towards Miss Lucas and applied to her for the next set. They soon took their place on the floor, leaving the cousins to their conversation. Collins quickly explained to Elizabeth that, not knowing what to expect from her father, he had thought it safer to act as he had done with his patroness. She smiled.
"I believe Papa was amused. Did it take him long to discern the truth?"
"Less than a day. He bid me to tell him who amongst you would see through me first, but I could not say if it were you or Jane."
"Oh, Jane, definitely," sighed Elizabeth. "I should listen to her more often. She told me more than once that I judge people too quickly. I thought it was because she would rather see only the good in people, but if you and Charlotte are of the same mind, I might be forced to admit that her advice was well-aimed."
Later that night
Cousin Elizabeth did not seem willing to dwell on her deficiencies; she had soon turned her attention to Cousin Jane and Mr Bingley and looked at them with a smile. Collins left her to her musings and went to dance with his cousin Mary, who proved herself to be a dourer partner than either of her elder sisters or Miss Lucas. He wondered, not for the first time, if the girl had some purpose in life other than thrusting her wisdom at whomever happened to be near.
He sat at supper between Cousin Jane and Miss Lucas and enjoyed the meal a great deal. The food was delicious and the conversation interesting. When their libations were over, there was some talk about hearing music, and Collins wished that Mary, who barely needed any persuasion to display her talents, would choose to exhibit her playing but not her singing. Having heard her at Longbourn, he knew the former to be tolerable if a little pompous and her voice to be too weak to be agreeable. Alas, it was not to be. He looked at her family while she sang. Cousin Jane was talking with Mr Bingley, her younger sisters were whispering with a friend—Miss Lucas's younger sister. Cousin Mary must have received some encouragement for, when her song was over, she began another one. Mrs Bennet appeared unperturbed by her daughter's display, but Cousin Elizabeth seemed mortified and was looking beseechingly at her father. A glance at their hosts taught him that if Mr Bingley, still in conversation with Cousin Jane, appeared oblivious of everything but her, his sisters were smirking. Mr Darcy appeared slightly sympathetic, the rest of the company resigned, and Mr Bennet amused.
When Mary had finished her second song, her father said aloud: "That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. Let the other young ladies have time to exhibit."
Cousin Elizabeth's embarrassment increased, and Cousin Mary, usually unperceptive, seemed a little disturbed. Others were now applied to play or sing. Someone asked Mr Collins if he played.
"Music is, I have been told, a diversion which is perfectly compatible with the profession of a clergyman. Alas, I can neither play nor sing."
"La! How do you entertain yourself, then?"
"I mainly read, Cousin. I also care for my gardens. However, when a clergyman cares about his parish and not merely for the income he can gain from it, he has not much free time on his hands. There is more in his week than sermons to write."
"Or be attentive to his neighbour," Mr Darcy added sotto voce.
"Quite," said Collins with a nod and a smile.
At that moment, Mrs Bennet could be heard to half-whisper to Lady Lucas that her husband's cousin was a remarkably clever, good kind of young man. Collins retreated to a corner and rolled his eyes.
He occupied himself by looking over the crowd and idly wondered if it were possible for his younger cousins and their mother to expose themselves more to ridicule. Cousin Elizabeth, after her earlier outburst, was deporting herself properly and seemed utterly ashamed of her family. Cousin Jane seemed oblivious to it all, which did not bode well for her judgement.
"Or she is highly infatuated with the young man," he whispered.
"What leads you to that conclusion?" Mr Darcy asked. Collins jumped, for he had thought himself alone. He pulled himself together quickly. Mr Darcy was also looking at Cousin Jane and Mr Bingley.
"Is that not obvious? My cousin is happily ignoring everything that happens around her, though that should make her cringe." He narrowed his eyes at Cousin Kitty, whose high-pitched giggle could be heard above the music. The girl had visibly had too much to drink. "I hope your friend will not be much distressed by her family's follies. If he returns her feelings, I would recommend him to settle far away from Hertfordshire once they are married."
Mr Darcy stiffened. Collins stayed silent and, at length, the other gentleman spoke.
"I sat opposite her mother during supper. She could speak of nothing else than her expectation of a match; indeed, she spoke of it as if it was already a done thing. Bingley is not even courting her!" At this Collins raised an eyebrow but Darcy was not done.
"She boasted to her neighbour about all the advantages the match would give them. Miss Elizabeth, who was on the other side of Lady Lucas, did her best to stop her mother, or at least to make her lessen her voice, but she would have none of it. The poor girl was mortified," he added in a softer voice. Shaking his head, he continued: "And now you tell me that Miss Bennet is not merely being polite but truly cares for my friend. I cannot see any hint of this."
Collins nodded. "My cousin is not one who shows her feelings openly, but though I am only a recent acquaintance of hers, I can tell she cares for your friend more than for any other acquaintance. She is discreet, you cannot be faulted for missing the signs. Cousin Jane deflated when we arrived and your friend did not ask for her first dance. During dinner, she could not help glancing at him. She might not love him yet, but I think she is well on her way to do so."
"Could she not be pushed towards him by her mother?"
"I do not believe so. Mrs Bennet has hopes, of course, but she cannot force her daughter's preferences. I rather believe her mother's attitude might lead Cousin Jane to conceal her feelings even more."
"How so?"
"You said it yourself: her mother is planning their wedding while she herself is careful when it comes to expressing her feelings. Your friend has asked neither for her hand nor for a courtship and might never do so. If this is the case, my cousin will be the object of gossip in the neighbourhood for her disappointed hopes. How worse would it be if she was more welcoming and publicly acknowledged she held those hopes? Until he speaks, I doubt she would do more."
Darcy sighed. "I know not what to do. Her reserve might be excessive, but there is nothing objectionable about Miss Bennet. Regarding her family, though …"
Here he stopped and shot an embarrassed look at Collins, who smiled and waved his hand.
"I was rather abrupt when speaking about your aunt earlier, you must not fear offending me. I am not blinded by loyalty and years of acquaintance when it comes to my cousins, and apart from Miss Bennet, there is plenty to object to."
"Miss Elizabeth does not deserve such censure."
"Have you already forgotten how impertinent and stubborn she was?" Collins asked with a smirk. Darcy merely shrugged. Collins shook his head and stifled a laugh.
"I have known Mr Bingley for some years," Darcy said at last. "I have often seen him in love and knew he admired Miss Bennet more than any of the other ladies of the neighbourhood, but it is only this evening that I realised he might be seriously attached to her. I have never witnessed him so attached to a lady."
"I hope it will last. She might not know the depth of her feelings yet, but I would wager her heart has been touched."
Mr Darcy appeared thoughtful and said no more. Collins left him to his thoughts and went to join Cousin Elizabeth and Miss Lucas. There were enough officers to answer the wishes of young ladies in want of a partner, and Collins decided not to dance anymore this evening, spending his time in conversation with Cousin Elizabeth and Miss Lucas instead as well as, occasionally, Mr Darcy. That gentleman was often standing near them, quite disengaged, but only came near enough to speak when the ladies were dancing.
He was otherwise looking at Mr Bingley and Cousin Jane, and at length, this reminded Collins of another alliance he had heard gossip about. Near the end of the evening, he quietly asked Darcy about the rumour of his betrothal with Miss de Bourgh. Darcy started, seemed to consider the propriety of discussing an obviously private matter with a near stranger, and eventually spoke.
"This was, I have been told, a wish our mothers made over our cradles. There has never been more to that. I had entertained, long ago, the idea of complying with it someday, but my cousin's ill health has put an end to it. Lady Catherine, though, still wishes for the match."
"Do you have an idea of her daughter's feelings on the subject?"
"I imagine they mirror mine, but I do not actually know. When I visit my aunt, I take care to have as little interaction with her as possible."
Collins nodded.
"I did not ask you that merely out of curiosity. I imagine that you will marry someday, and that day, your aunt will be distressed and your cousin as well, be it because of her feelings on the matter or because of her mother's mood. This may also have consequences for the tenants and villagers. As the local clergyman, I shall be in a position to provide some guidance or restore equilibrium—and I would rather be forewarned than taken by surprise."
"Be assured," answered Darcy drily, "that when I decide to take a bride, I shall write to you and my aunt both."
Collins murmured his thanks. Not much of consequence was said until the end of the ball which the Bennets were the last to depart. Mr Collins did not know exactly what happened, but they had to wait a quarter of an hour after the guests had departed before their carriages were brought forth. Mrs Bennet's satisfied air hinted at some scheme on her part. Amongst their hosts, only Mr Bingley did not seem to mind the delay, for it allowed him to speak with Cousin Jane as they stood a little apart from the others. His sisters seemed impatient to have the house to themselves again and only spoke to complain of fatigue, as did Cousin Lydia in a much less ladylike fashion. Mrs Bennet spoke at length of her hopes of seeing the Netherfield party soon at Longbourn and drew Mr Bingley from his conversation with her daughter in order to assure him he would be welcomed for a family dinner at any time he wished. The young man claimed to be pleased by the invitation and promised to wait on her soon after he came back from London. He explained he had to go there for a few days and would leave on the morrow. Bingley went back to Cousin Jane's smiles while Mrs Bennet endeavoured to have some more conversation but found no willing partner.
When they at last left the house, Mrs Bennet's delight was evident. Collins thought at first that her matrimonial scheme involving her eldest daughter was its cause, but with the looks she directed between him and Cousin Elizabeth, it soon dawned on him that she still had another alliance in mind. Until then, he had quite forgotten that she hoped to match him with her daughter. He should think again about that scheme. True, he had known the young lady for barely more than a week, but he had been in her company enough to have a fair idea of her disposition.
Longbourn, Wednesday morning
Mrs Bennet looked at Collins expectantly when he came down for breakfast, but he offered her nothing beyond the usual civilities. His hostess seemed bent on engineering a way to leave him and Cousin Elizabeth by themselves. He thought his cousin, though she would not object to him, was nonetheless wary of her mother's plans; he himself was by no way certain it was in the best interest of both their happinesses to reach an understanding, especially when he remembered her outburst of the previous night. His leave was coming to an end, and though he felt confident Lady Catherine would have no objection if he decided to extend his stay, he needed to go back to his parishioners.
Mrs Bennet's schemes were put to rest when the Lucases came to discuss the ball with his cousins, as he learned was their wont after an evening of dancing. Cousin Elizabeth suggested that they take a turn in the gardens; the younger girls protested against it, but Miss Lucas and Cousin Jane seemed pleased with the proposal. When Collins declared he would join them, Mrs Bennet shooed them out, loudly whispering to her eldest daughter to keep Miss Lucas occupied. He shook his head; the young people gathered their coats and were soon walking in the gardens. Cousin Jane, it seemed, merely wished to bask in her recollections of the ball and was content to go to a bench and sit in the sun. Collins offered his arms to Miss Lucas and Cousin Elizabeth, and the three of them went down the pathways, discussing both the past evening and the possibility of a match between Cousin Jane and Mr Bingley. Such a discussion allowed him to discern the thoughts of his companions regarding matrimonial harmony, and he was pleased to find some sameness of mind in what he heard. His mind was soon fixed, and as the conversation drifted to lace and ribbons, it wandered to his parsonage's drawing room, where he pictured the future Mrs Collins. His conscience was moreover satisfied that, when he took possession of Longbourn, his cousins would always be welcomed to stay in their childhood home. The only difficulty he foresaw was that, in the case of his cousin predeceasing her, Mrs Bennet would have to adjust to her authority being transferred to his wife, and he could not see that going peacefully. However, his cousin Bennet was healthy, and this event was certainly some time in the future. He still had to propose and would do so after having slept one or two nights on his decision, but he felt confident that, though their acquaintance was slight, the lady would answer in the affirmative.
I promise I won't be long before letting you know to whom Collins proposed. :-)