Disclaimer: I dont' own One Piece, even if I wish I did. Oda-sensei is awesome and I dont want him to sue me.

Luffy:Wise?

I told you earlier that Luffy gave me advice.

Well, he did. Shocking, I know. I was almost taken aback by the amount of wisdom that could come out of the idiot's mouth.

I figured since I've already told you the background and you've most likely read about the Enies Lobby incident in the newspapers, I'll skip all that. That, and I just really don't feel like talking all that much.

So, anyway, soon after my giant realization that I had some affection towards Robin, I went looking for advice.

You can laugh, but I've never had all that much experience with girls. I've spent most of my years practicing with my swords, trying to keep a promise to the closest friend I'd ever had. But that's another story. One that I'm really uncomfortable talking about (as if I'm not unconfortable already.)

I'm off topic again. I tend to do that. That's probably bad, since all this talking is making me sleepy. So I'm gonna take a nap now.

Luckily, there's a narrator.

Good Night.

Narration

The famous, demonic, ex-pirate-hunter zoro was in trouble. BIG trouble. What kind? He was in love. Bad. Especially for one who's supposed to be an emotionless rock among a sea of hyper, emotion-filled idiots. (Bad analogy, but you get the idea.)

So, naturally, the first thing he did was seek advice. And who did he turn to in his time of need? His best friend of course. (and also the person least likely to remember the conversation afterwards) Monkey D. Luffy.

(information you already know ends here)

Monkey D. Luffy sat atop the figurehead of his new ship, the Thousand Suns. True, it wasn't as nice as the seat on the Merry Go, but he was warming up to it, none the same. He knew they were at see. Sailing for an island that Nami's Lock Post said would be there. An island full of adventures to be had. And that was the only thing he needed to make him happy.

Roronoa Zoro walked up behind him, marveling at how stupid his best friend and captain could be. For being a devil fruit user, he sure wasn't afraid of falling in. He'd proven that often enough.

"Hey", said Zoro, lacking any better way of greeting Luffy.

"Hi Zoro!" the captain said back enthusiactically, "Nice day huh?"

"I dunno" he replied "Nami said it might rain later."

"Nah, she has to be wrong, there's not a cloud in the sky!"

"Is she ever wrong?"

"Well...no, not really."

"Exactly."

This put Luffy in a bad mood. If one faced the ship head on, he could see his almost-comical pout playing across his face.

"Hey, there was something I wanted to ask you Luffy...", said Zoro cautiously.

"Well, go ahead, I'll help if I can!"

Zoro smiled. Same old Luffy. Always looking out for his nakama.

"Yeah, um... I was wondering... " Zoro asked nervously "do you have any experience with...um...dating?"

"Zoro" the captain replied "I respect you and all, but, I'm NOT GAY"

"NEITHER AM I!!!" screamed Zoro. "I MEANT DATING WOMEN YA MORON!!!!!"

"O, sorry, why didn't you say so?"

"I DIDN'T THINK I'D HAVE TO CLARIFY, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!!

"Oy, Zoro, Calm down!" said Luffy. "it was an innocent misunderstanging!"

Zoro sighed. This was stupid. Why did he even think Luffy had experience with girls in the first place? He berated himself silently. He should have just sucked up his pride and gone to Sanji in the first place. He may be an idiot, but he had to admit he'd never seen him go through a town without a girl on his arm.

"Alright" continued Luffy "Let me tell you something about women Zoro, their different than men."

"YOU THINK?" yelled Zoro.

"Calm down for heaven's sake, I didn't mean that as a general case thing. I mean they act different. Respond differently than guys would. For example, you can't go up to a girl who's having problems and say "What the hells wrong with you" like you would to a guy. All that would earn you is a slap in the face."

Zoro was in shock. His captain had actually made sense. Was this really Luffy?

"Furthermore" continued Luffy (another surprise, Zoro hadn't known that Luffy knew what furthermore meant. In reality, he didn't, but the effect was good anyway.) "Women can always tell if you're trying to hide something. Kind of like how Makino always used to know when I was stealing food from her pantry."

"Who's Makino?" asked Zoro, forgetting his quest for knowledge for a moment.

"I'll tell ya later, this is important." Luffy replied. (again, a shock, Luffy has stayed on topic.) "The thing you really have to remember is to not fake anything. Dont respond to a situation any differently than you would normally just because she's around. That's letting her control you, and that's even worse than being hated by her." Luffy smiled. He was glad that he knew something Zoro didn't for a change. It made him feel just a bit more like a captain.

"Um yeah, thanks for the advice and stuff Luffy, but...how do I ask one of them out?" Zoro was keen to know Luffy's insight on this one. He thought that if his advice had been good thus far, he'd be able to really think up a good way to ask Robin out.

Unfortunately, Luffy was fated to disappoint the swordsman. "Sorry buddy" he said "I've never asked a girl out in my life. Too busy becoming king of the pirates and all."

Zoro smacked his forehead in disbelief. Why him? He sighed. "I guess I'll have to talk to that crap-cooker after all" he thought.

"Thanks for the advice anyway, Luffy, Ill keep it in mind." He turned and started to head towards the galley.

"HEY ZORO!" Luffy called after him. The swordman turned around, confused.

"This is about Robin, isn't it?" Luffy said with a knowing look in his eye (rare for him).

If Zoro was confused before, he was completely lost now. "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" he screamed.

"Calm down!" Luffy said. "It was just a lucky guess. That and the fact that you're as subtle as Yokozumo ramming a train." (yet another shock, since when did Luffy know how analogies worked?)

"Well, to be quite honest...yeah." he replied. "Why'd you wanna know?"

"Nothing really, I just wanted to see how you'd react if I guessed right."

Zoro shook his head and headed back towards the galley. Good advice? Long words? Messing with people? What was with Luffy all of a sudden? He reminded himself that after he had talked to Sanji, he'd drop by Chopper's room and have him check up on Luffy.

That's Chapter one. It's longer than I thought. If there are any men out there reading this, I'm happy. It means I'm not the only guy who secretly reads romantic fanficiton. Ahh...I didn't just say that. You didn't here me just say that.