Aperture Note
Chapter 2
Poor Beyond
A/N-HA! Bet you didn't think I'd post this, huh? WELL I DID! HAHAHA! Now read my sucky story.
Turret fire continued to echo as GLaDOS tried to kill them. Breathing through the gas mask, L tried to figure out a way to get through the throng of trigger-happy machines. Nearby, he could hear BB and Wheatley conversing. Rattman continued to chatter, but he had stopped listening a while ago, something about that 'damn AI' and 'the cocky attitude of today's youth' or something. It took him a while before he noticed it, but BB had stopped talking. That….that didn't happen often. Whenever a core was nearby, he usually occupied his ever growing boredom by endlessly chatting with it….the only thing that caused him to clam up like this was….
"BEYOND BIRTHDAY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
Goddammit. Of all the people in the world to show up, it had to be HER. Beyond stuttered a reply.
"Ahh, ummm, ah…I was….I… I was making sure no one was in the neurotoxin release room!"
"BULL SHIT!"
"Alexis! Language!"
"STFU YOU SCHIZOPHRENIC PARANOID EXCUSE FOR A SCIENTIST! L! I TOLD you he would do something stupid! If you had just listened to me and demoted him-"
"HEY!"
"THIS WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING!"
L sighed. He was a pain to deal with when she was like this. She was bitchy, annoying, and blamed everything on her poor boyfriend, Beyond (even when he wasn't here [no really! Once he was doing research in Japan, and GLaDOS sicked turrets on them, and she called him, forced him to abandon the project, book a flight all the way back to America, just to yell at him for a situation that had been resolved the previous day. ] I have no idea why he dates that bitch). Alexis, better known as A, was his assistant director. Well, co-assistant director, since Beyond held the position as well. It was mostly Alexis though (since Beyond was a bit of a slacker, and easily distracted). She was actually very pleasant when she wasn't pissed. Nice to the employees, not pounding Beyond's head against a wall (like she was doing now), keeping the personality cores from malfunctioning, all in all, an excellent employee. But….she had a bit of a temper.
"OW! OW! OW! OW! STOP ITTTTTTTTT! ALEXIS!"
"YOU LAZY *bang* SELF-ABSORBED *bang* IGNORANT *bang* PATHETIC *bang* EXCUSE FOR A SCIENTIST! *bang bang bang bang bang* HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?"
"IM SOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!"
"SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT!" And then she rammed his head through the wall. THROUGH. THE. WALL. The one made of 6 inches of solid steel. She rammed his head THROUGH it. L couldn't help but be impressed. It takes a lot to ram someone's head through 6 inches of steel.
"OWWWWWWW! IM SO SOOOORRRYYYYY! I'LL FIX THIS I SWEAR!"
"YOU BETTER BEYOND! OR I WILL KILL YOU! THEN BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE AND DISEMBOWEL YOU!"
L sighed. Poor Beyond. Always getting abused by his girlfriend. But right now, everyone just needed to SHUT UP so he could THINK!
"OW! OW! OW! OWOWOWOWOW! ALEXIS! IM SOOORRRR-
"Everyone SHUT UP! ALEXIS! Stop tormenting your boyfriend! Beyond! Stop letting your girlfriend beat you up! Wheatley! STOP PANICKING! Rattman! WE KNOW! You were right! So all of you SHUT! UP! I need to THINK!" Everyone looked over to where L was in shock. Even GLaDOS had stopped the turret fire due to his outburst. L never raised his voice.
"Everyone….I have a plan."
A/N-Short chapter is short. So not my best work. Ain't it amazing how much bigger everything looks on word? (except for my reports, which get cut in half) *sigh* I be so mean to Beyond. I just like the mental image of Alexis banging Beyond's head against a wall. It makes me LOL. Review this sucky chapter?