Chapter II
Continuing the songfic Until the Dark with another songfic. I don't own nor Ruroni Kenshin characters nor the song rights. The Heartless-HIM [Composed and lyrics by Valo]- in the album: Greatest Love songs, Vol. 666 (1997) The Heartless "Your pain ain't love"
And I woke up the next morning after crying for him, dying for him, rejoicing with him. But where was he now? He left without saying a word, he left while I was still sleeping. No signs, not even a little letter. It'd seem he hadn't come here yester night if it were not for the messed sheets and some marks on my body. Why does he do this kind of things to me? Why? Can't he realize he hurts me? Or does he do everything to hurt me more?
"Can't you see he's the heartless Your pain is not love He's taking it too far Don't you know it is wrong"
Oh, Aoshi... who knows of you and me? I had nobody to tell, I feel ashamed to tell my situation. But Kaoru knows it. I developed a strange friendship with her and I believe she'll keep my secret. She's been a good friend, though. And she tells me it's not worthy of. You're heartless, you're taking too far with me, hurting me the way you do. I know it's not right, but I can't help. I'm too weak. But in my weakness, I start to think if I should stop all this pain. Would I be free or would I just create a new and worse pain to live in? Your absence hurts, the lack of your love for me hurts. I don't really beg it for me, but it would be good if you'd me treat right for you know my feelings. And you know I never bothered you to love me the way I do. Somehow, I feel used. I knew I'd be, but not in this bad way.
"You're the one for me You're the one If you'd only see in my heart You'd know all is not lost"
If you could be a bit gentle. If this fire could be a little tamed. You can read my thoughts, so why do you ignore them? Am I not worth of a simple word?
"Your time is running out And you still haven't made up your mind Can't you see he's the heartless And you're one of a kind"
I think all of the advices she gave to me in the past, I remember them all now. I am getting older and I am all alone. Do I really want to pass my live through an affair? Just an affair, nothing more precise, nothing stronger. And if he tires of me, I'll be kicked out of his life. If he finds his love, I'll be sent out of his way. He's heartless to me.
"He's the heartless can't you see he's the heartless Your pain won't ever be love It doesn't matter how hard you try To you all is lost He's the heartless"
Will he come back? I have to take some courage! I ought to talk to him about this situation. It's almost unbearable to me. Is everything lost? My heartless... has he ever been mine for a second? My heartless...what if he just walk away and never come back again? I am thinking of all of this now, but at least, for some moments, I can feel he's mine and he can't deny it because I feel it. I see in his eyes when he loves me, he's mine. He's with me, with my body, reading my thoughts... the light on his iced-eyes reflecting me. I have to be courageous... I'll talk to him the next time... No! Not the next time! Let's see how he'll react ,then, I'll talk to him... some other day... yes, later, when I cannot bear it anymore.
Continuing the songfic Until the Dark with another songfic. I don't own nor Ruroni Kenshin characters nor the song rights. The Heartless-HIM [Composed and lyrics by Valo]- in the album: Greatest Love songs, Vol. 666 (1997) The Heartless "Your pain ain't love"
And I woke up the next morning after crying for him, dying for him, rejoicing with him. But where was he now? He left without saying a word, he left while I was still sleeping. No signs, not even a little letter. It'd seem he hadn't come here yester night if it were not for the messed sheets and some marks on my body. Why does he do this kind of things to me? Why? Can't he realize he hurts me? Or does he do everything to hurt me more?
"Can't you see he's the heartless Your pain is not love He's taking it too far Don't you know it is wrong"
Oh, Aoshi... who knows of you and me? I had nobody to tell, I feel ashamed to tell my situation. But Kaoru knows it. I developed a strange friendship with her and I believe she'll keep my secret. She's been a good friend, though. And she tells me it's not worthy of. You're heartless, you're taking too far with me, hurting me the way you do. I know it's not right, but I can't help. I'm too weak. But in my weakness, I start to think if I should stop all this pain. Would I be free or would I just create a new and worse pain to live in? Your absence hurts, the lack of your love for me hurts. I don't really beg it for me, but it would be good if you'd me treat right for you know my feelings. And you know I never bothered you to love me the way I do. Somehow, I feel used. I knew I'd be, but not in this bad way.
"You're the one for me You're the one If you'd only see in my heart You'd know all is not lost"
If you could be a bit gentle. If this fire could be a little tamed. You can read my thoughts, so why do you ignore them? Am I not worth of a simple word?
"Your time is running out And you still haven't made up your mind Can't you see he's the heartless And you're one of a kind"
I think all of the advices she gave to me in the past, I remember them all now. I am getting older and I am all alone. Do I really want to pass my live through an affair? Just an affair, nothing more precise, nothing stronger. And if he tires of me, I'll be kicked out of his life. If he finds his love, I'll be sent out of his way. He's heartless to me.
"He's the heartless can't you see he's the heartless Your pain won't ever be love It doesn't matter how hard you try To you all is lost He's the heartless"
Will he come back? I have to take some courage! I ought to talk to him about this situation. It's almost unbearable to me. Is everything lost? My heartless... has he ever been mine for a second? My heartless...what if he just walk away and never come back again? I am thinking of all of this now, but at least, for some moments, I can feel he's mine and he can't deny it because I feel it. I see in his eyes when he loves me, he's mine. He's with me, with my body, reading my thoughts... the light on his iced-eyes reflecting me. I have to be courageous... I'll talk to him the next time... No! Not the next time! Let's see how he'll react ,then, I'll talk to him... some other day... yes, later, when I cannot bear it anymore.