Chapter Two: Don't-A-Hue

Sean is being weird. So we kissed as preteens. Who cares? Maybe I care. I don't care. I've been with 38 women. Sean's kiss wasn't even that good. Not that I remember it. He did say he has gotten better. That could be something. But it's not like I want to find out. You don't kiss your bros, you just don't.

Sitting through that god-awful movie was so awkward. He kept staring at me. I was trying to avoid him. Ugh. And now I have to worry about Sean. He was acting kinda weird during the movie. Things might not be so cool between us.

"We're still bros right?" I high fived him. He held on. What gives?

I am ok with the gay thing. I really am. I'm gay bait. I've known that for years. Everyone wants a piece of the Axe-Man. But I have never been with a guy. At least I don't think so. I was really drunk at that party…

It'd be like being intimate with Sue. Gross. Ew. No. I physically shake the thought off and mime gagging.

Sue's friend Brad is gay. He's an ok guy. I haven't spent much time with him, and it's not because he's gay, it's because he's Sue's friend. You don't hang with your sister's friends. It's Sibling Code. But he's good to my sister, so he's okay, I guess. I will never admit that to anymore.

Why am I even thinking about this? Sean is not gay. That's not why he's being weird. Right?

Its weird to find out my first kiss was with Sean. At least it wasn't Darrin. Its not the end of the world.

"Axl," Mom grabs me by the elbow. I roll my eyes and groan.

"What did I tell you about grabbing me in public?" I try to wiggle free but she has a death grip on my arm. She must be pissed. What did I do? Ugh. Come on!

"Whoa, I didn't do it."

But she wasn't into negotiating. Sean was my ride here. I guess I wouldn't be leaving with him. I bang my head on the window. I hope Brick and hear me rolling my eyes to him going on about Planet Nowhere. I don't care, Brick.

On second thought, it might be nice to talk to Brick about this. He's smart-ish. He's a little weird, but we are just that family.

"Brick, you're smart, can I get your advice. When I was twelve I had my first kiss. Turns out it wasn't a girl. It was Sean."

"I just don't understand why they would think Hugh Jackman is the fit to be in Planet Nowhere."

"He's great as Wolverine. But does this make Sean gay. I mean, I am obviously not gay. I haven't kissed a guy since Sean or thought about it either." What happened at that party?

"Sure he was a good Wolverine, but that doesn't make him right for this part. He's going to mess it up. They should just stop the whole movie. Its a really bad idea–I really don't know what you're talking about, Axl."

"I know you don't, Brick."

Talking to Brick was like talking to a grasshopper. Ugh. Why did I pick Brick? Sue would be better than Brick. I must be desperate.

Sue is doing her dork thing. What is she doing? Lying on her bed facing the ceiling and smiling. That's normal Sue behavior. She basically barfs unicorns.

"Can we talk?" I shut her door behind me. Sue sighs.

"What do you want, Axl?"

"I need some advice. Sean and I had an interesting discovery and it might make things awkward between us. Should I talk to him or let it go?"

"Talk it out. But this is you and it is Sean so it might be best to just let it go. I kissed Logan."

Who the hell is Logan?

Ugh. Stupid Sue. I throw a pillow at her and leave. Sisters should be illegal. Mom and Dad should have stopped with me. They had one perfect child. I have no idea why they continued to reproduce.

Mom and Dad are fighting. Its not a good time to talk to them. Not that I would. That's a can of worms I would rather bury in the Glossners yard.

It meant nothing. Sean was probably just freaked out. He has been kinda weird lately. The whole new look and attitude. I knew he would crack eventually, walking into the Donahue house I get a wedgie I can only imagine what living there is like.

It might not be me at all. I'm off the hook. There is ten pounds off my shoulders. Let's look at hotties on the internet. Scarlett Johansson here I come.

"Planet Nowhere is sacred. Can't Hollywood see that?" Brick says from his bed. I hang my head. Dammit. I forgot Brick was still here.

"No, Brick, they can't. Its been made. there is nothing you can do."

"They should have gotten Meryl Streep as Princess Kalikari."

"Ugh no offense to Meryl Streep but she's not hot at all. I mean, I could kinda see it in Devil Wears Prada, but nothing since then."

"She is one of the greatest actresses of her generation, Axl."

I've seen Devil Wears Prada. I'm not ashamed. It's my Mommy and Me time.

"How would you know?"

Brick and I argue Meryl Streep for twenty more minutes before I decide its time for bed.

Sean is here. This isn't weird. It's like nothing happened. He had a fight with his mom. I have never seen Mrs. Donahue so upset with Sean.

I let him crash in my bed with me. We used to do this all the time. Nothing's changed.

Sometime during the night I fall into the groove of my bed. I wind up pressed against Sean. He's so warm and fuzzy it's like cuddling with Chewbacca. Sean's arm rubs my back. Oh? What? No. He probably didn't mean it.

"Good night, Axl," Sean whispers. I roll away from him but the groove in my bed puts me right back against him.

Did he just tug on my hair? It could have been an accident. Then again I think I felt his hand actually grip it. He's massaging my scalp. Now I know why cats like it so much.

"Thanks for letting me crash."

I didn't respond. It's not anything new. I wiggle a little to get away from him again but keep sliding back into him. I stop fighting it. I look over at Brick. He's sleeping and doesn't notice anything. Is this ok?

Sean's thick arms lay beside me. I can feel them near my back. He's breathing normally which means he's not asleep yet. I could roll over… Stop it, Axl. This is weird. Things aren't the same anymore.