-1A/N: I'M A TOTAL FAILURE. There. Now that we've got that out of the way… I just want to apologize for my uh…five month long hiatus. The second semester of my sophomore year at college literally beat me into a pulp my own mother barely recognized. But now I am back (!) and I plan on bring to you more wonderful chapters from the lives of our two favorite alchemists. If you want to let me have it, please do in a constructive manner. Actually, just as long as you leave a comment, I don't care if you tell me that my writing is complete dribble and that I as a writer deserve a swift kick in the pants. Remember, I love you to death and I want nothing more than to please you. Moving along now…

Disclaimer: I guess there's a reason I don't own FMA. I have the worst ADD known to man and I've been known to neglect things. Oh, and I'm broke. Make that THREE reasons I don't own FMA. Good thing, huh?

Roy and Ed remained in their awkward positions, Roy's fingers deep in Ed's sides and Ed's foot halfway across Roy's face. Ed was panting, his chest rising and falling as if he'd been running a mile. Roy, on the other hand, was completely still, waiting for the sound of a fist being rapped upon the front door he knew was coming.

As if waiting for some kind of cue, the loud banging noise came again—this time, far louder than before. Roy winced slightly and removed his hands from Ed's sides, grabbing Ed's ankle and lowering it to the bed. He slowly got off the bed and glanced at Ed, raising a finger to signal that the younger should remain where he was.

As the knocking sounded through the apartment once again, Roy quickly took the time to button and straighten his work shirt, as well as fix the rest of his clothing before approaching the door. He opened it to reveal a woman; namely, his neighbor from below, Mrs. Sterne.

Ed grimaced as he peered down the hall, making sure he wasn't seen. He'd always hated the old lady that lived downstairs. He knew it was unfair to actually call her "old," since she was only in her early-to-mid fifties, but still, she acted like a stubborn old lady more than half the time. Everything about her looked stubborn: from the starchy clothes she wore to the way her silvery hair was pulled back in a tight bun, the woman was composed of complete discipline. Ed somehow seriously doubted the lines around her mouth were from smiling, as his mother would have had him believe. He was certain they were from all the frowning the almost-scary lady did.

"Well hello, Mrs. Sterne, what brings you up to see me today?" Roy said in a tone Ed recognized as the one the older man usually reserved for people he was irritated or becoming impatient with. It was a strained, polite tone that he generally used at work and during the occasions when Ed had done something that merited scolding.

"Don't act like you don't know, Mustang," Mrs. Sterne growled. "I don't know what you do up here to make so much noise, but my glass figurines were nearly rattling off their shelves! And don't you tell me it was some program you were listening to, because I'll have you know I don't buy that for a second…"

"Mrs. Sterne…," Roy began slowly. "I'm sorry that I'm causing such a ruckus and I hope I haven't caused any damage to your figurines, but I'm just running late for work, and I'm afraid it's made me a little clumsy; that's all."

The older woman didn't look entirely convinced. Her face scrunched up in scrutiny as she looked up and down Roy's being, examining him closely. She shook her head. "Well, Mr. Mustang, the best I can tell you is to try to be more prompt in your schedule. If you didn't stay up so late making so much noise with the loud company you seem to keep, you wouldn't be late in the mornings. Honestly, a grown man…you should be ashamed of yourself. I certainly know no son of mine would have such disgraceful behavior…" She turned and began walking down the hall, muttering sharply about Roy's "disgraceful" behavior unbecoming "a man of his stature."

Ed couldn't help but find it a little amusing that Roy had been scolded as if he was a small child instead of an adult. Still, he was slightly guilty that he kept getting Roy in trouble with his neighbors.

Roy sighed and closed the door, instinctively looking back where he knew Ed would be hiding to observe all that had happened. He nodded to indicate that the younger male could come out. Ed emerged, looking ashamed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know she was—" Ed began, trying hard not to look at his feet. He knew how much Roy hated it when he looked anywhere else but at the person he was speaking to.

"Don't worry about it," Roy interjected, walking by Ed and ruffling his hair to show how unconcerned he was about the whole situation. "You know how uptight Mrs. Sterne is. If it was up to her, no one in this building would so much as sigh loud enough to hear. It's not she'd be able to get me evicted or anything."

Ed followed Roy around the apartment as the older man put on his uniform and combed his hair. He wanted to continue apologizing, but he knew it would only serve to irritate Roy, since they'd already had that conversation a dozen times before. Lately, he'd been trying to irritate Roy less, since he knew Roy was due for assessment to renew his state alchemy certification and the stress was bothering him. Of course, Ed knew he'd pass with no problems, but it'd been awhile since Roy had done anything even remotely alchemic, so the man was worried he'd gotten "rusty."

As if that'd ever happen, Ed thought soberly. He'd often hoped Roy would soon retire from the military so he'd stop having to work so late. As time went on, though, it looked less and less likely, especially since Roy didn't seem to do anything differing from his everyday job. He had neither accepted promotions, nor said anything about retiring, saying he liked it "right where he was."

It was almost too insane to believe, given the ambitions Ed knew Roy once embodied. Sure, he'd never be able to achieve his ultimate previous goal of becoming Führer, but he could still make the difference he'd sought from a higher rank than he was.

Roy couldn't help but notice how Ed had stopped following him and looked back to see where the young man had stopped. He let a small smile slip as he made note that Ed was in his thinking position, his face reflecting his inner struggle with his thoughts. If Roy had his way, the metal-limbed alchemist would have stopped thinking a long time ago; it certainly would have spared them both trouble.

"Something bothering you again, Ed?" Roy inquired lightly, elbowing Ed in the side and walking away to search for his keys in the living room.

Ed looked up, unsure of how to respond. He wanted to tell Roy the truth, that he wanted him to consider retiring, but it still felt like a selfish thing to do. After all, what right did he have asking the great Flame Alchemist to leave his livelihood behind, and for him, of all things? He didn't consider himself valuable enough to replace that which gave Roy purpose and asking him to choose between Ed and his job was completely out of question. It would be like Roy asking Ed to choose between him and his brother—a most impossible choice, if Ed had ever thought of one.

"Edward," Roy chided softly, wrapping his arms around Ed's shoulders. "If you let your thoughts weigh you down, you'll never get any taller."

Ed smirked at the thought. "I think we both know I'm done growing, Mustang," he scoffed, trying to appear offended. Truth was, he'd come to terms with the fact that he'd always be less in stature than Roy and Alphonse. He was just glad to be as tall as Winry, as being shorter than her would have been completely embarrassing. It didn't mean that he was exactly thrilled to be as short as he was; he'd just learned to accept it. Still, it had become somewhat of an endearing joke between the two men.

That was something he'd realized more and more as time had passed: all the things that had once been so important to him—like his lack in height—no longer seemed to matter, and therefore, no longer caused problems between him and his dark-eyed lover. No, their discussions had a tendency to get heated when they disagreed, but they were no longer the all-out screaming matches (often one-sided, as Ed was the only one with the tendency to let his voice get out of hand) they'd once engaged in on a daily basis. The topics of their discussions had also changed, as they were now more concerned with things that involved them as a collective unit, rather than individuals.

It didn't stop Ed from wanted to win each battle of wills, though. As much as he had matured over the years, he still had a tendency to push for superiority in all things competitive. Of course, he had his moments where he didn't mind being the submissive one…

Roy could hardly help feeling a little impressed with Ed's growing maturity about things that had once sent him into a blind rage. "Perhaps," he said, breaking into Ed's thoughts once again, "but that doesn't mean I have to quit pointing it out."

Ed let out a slight laugh and turned around, making sure not to break Roy's embrace on him. "Well, as long as we're pointing out all things obvious, while I might not be getting taller, you are getting older."

"Uh-uh, I know where this is headed," Roy interrupted with a smirk. "Don't fool yourself into thinking I'm getting too old to keep up with you. After all, we all can't be ten on the inside forever, like you, Ed."

"Psh, you might be getting physically older, but I think we both know you're getting pretty young on the inside. In fact, by the time you reach…oh, I don't know, sixty…I'll probably be older on the inside than you will," Ed argued.

Roy's face lit up with his trademark all-knowing smirk. "I'm glad we're finally in agreement about something," he said victoriously, letting go of Ed and continuing the search for his apartment keys.

Ed's face fell. Once again, it appeared that though he'd won the battle of wills, he'd lost the war of wits. I have to stop getting myself into these situations, he thought sourly.

His attention was brought back to the present as the jingle of keys rang in his ear.

"Found 'em," Roy said, sticking them in his pocket. "Although how they got under the sofa is beyond me."

Ed shrugged. "Maybe they fell out of your pocket when you attacked me yesterday."

"Attacked you? If I remember correctly, it was you, not me, Edward, who was doing the attacking," Roy said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Well, you don't remember correctly," Ed said, crossing his arms and looking away, pretending to pout.

The uniformed man rolled his eyes. Scratch what he'd been thinking about Ed's maturity earlier. The elder Elric brother might as well have been the younger, with the way he looked at that moment. Roy shook his head and turned around, walking towards the door. He blindly waved behind him, signaling that he was leaving.

"I'll be back later. Try not to break anything," he said nonchalantly.

Suddenly, he was slightly pushed forward as the mass that was Ed attached himself to Roy's back, wrapping his arms around his torso.

"Why do you have to go? It's Saturday," Ed half-whined.

"Yes, it's Saturday," Roy confirmed, feeling a small twinge of guilt at having to leave Ed alone for a few hours on a day when he'd shown signs that a small breakdown was headed their way. "But you know I have a meeting…I can't just call and tell Hawkeye I won't be coming. She has better things to be doing too, you know."

"I don't know if I'd call Havoc something 'better to do,'" Ed muttered into Roy's back.

Roy nodded his agreement. "True, but the point is that she would. I can't be doing things I'd expect those who work under me not to. It wouldn't be fair."

Ed pulled back, looking at Roy skeptically. "Since when have you given a damn about 'fairness'?"

"Since always," Roy answered simply, opening the door. He knew what Ed was up to; after all, it wouldn't be the first time he was lured into an argument by the blonde. It wasn't going to work this time, no matter how much he wanted to stand and bicker to the point of nearly breaking up (and the making up that quickly ensued). He had a thing about being there for the people he worked with, even if it was going to cost him a little peace at home.

"I promise it won't take long," he assured Ed. "Try calling your brother, make plans to go out and visit him. It'll be good for you." With that, he shut the door before Ed could respond. That was about the only way he got out of the apartment on the weekends. It was rude, he knew, and it wasn't something he liked doing, but it was something that needed to be done.

He just hoped that he could make good on his promise this time. They both knew that Saturday meetings could go both ways. Sometimes they were just brief meetings to discuss small things that needed dealing with before Monday, and sometimes they were long, drawn-out sessions about things that needed to be resolved but would take more time than Roy liked to spare.

Especially since he had another thing to deal with at home he did want to take that extra time with.

Please let this be a short one, he pleaded internally.

Yes…I think I'm starting to get a little rusty. I'm not really pleased with how this one went, but I'm hoping it'll get better. I'm open to suggestions…