It took all of my willpower and strength to convince my uncle that killing myself was a joke. It was more like a figure of speech kind of thing. Of course Freddy took this all to heart and wanted me to hand him the gun… which I reluctantly did. He placed the gun in his back pocket, taking out some of the bullets while doing so and putting them in his chest pocket. He turned to me, shaking his head when he pointed his index finger at me.
"Listen to me my—soon to be—gay nephew. We are going to find out how we ended up in this "fictional world" and we are going to do that now." he said, smiling at me as he look up at the sky. "The weather sure is pretty today. Now let's get a move on!"
My uncle marched off into the crowded streets of the city. I let out a sigh, not wanting to resist him. I know firsthand that if my uncle wants something he'll eventually get it. I waved at him, calling out to my uncle. "By the way, you can scrap the gay part, Freddy! I'm into chicks, not dicks!"
"There is a time and a place for everything, my nephew." Freddy retorted, looking back at while continuing tow walk forward. "If I remember correctly you did compliment my beautiful ass on multiple occasions." He finished, smirking at me while giving a wink.
"That was only one time, uncle Freddy! And that was because you just got dumped by you boyfriend! I felt bad for you so I decided to cheer you up." I retorted, glaring at him.
"Keep telling yourself that." Freddy called back to me, making me shake my head in discomfort.
We continued our walk through the city, taking in all of the amazing scenery. I have to admit that seeing something on a screen and seeing it in real life are two completely different things… and I know that sounds really, really cliché, but it's the truth! I swear! Our walk came to an abrupt end, however, when Freddy noticed a shop. A shop I hoped he would not have noticed.
"Oh my God those jeans will look amazing on me!" Freddy gasped in an overdramatic way, holding his hands to his cheeks to put some emphasis on his reaction. He ran to the store's window, his hands firmly on it and watching the various models of jeans displayed behind the window. "Ramses, please let me go in! I must have them!" Freddy exclaimed, turning to me and grabbing hold of my collar. "Please, please, I am a fifty eight year old man who hasn't had any sex in two weeks! I'm desperate!"
"And I'm a nineteen year old blonde haired boy who has never even had sex before, let alone get a chance to look at the cleavage of women of my age or older. And I'm not counting movies. And now it's your turn again." I retorted, crossing my arms.
"Well I told you that my friends would be happy to-."
"No, just no." I cut him off, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Freddy, let's just go. Knowing this place they probably won't accept out currency anyways. Come on, man, let's just go. Those jeans won't run away."
Freddy sighed, looking at me with a dead serious expression. "Okay, but I want to go back to this place once we have some info. My ass in those jeans will look amazing. Don't you agree?" Freddy asked, turning his dreamy eyes back to the jeans.
"Uncle Freddy, I think your ass already look great. Now let's get a move on, faggot." I replied, grabbing Freddy by his sleeve and dragging him with me.
Our walk continued. We were met with several very, very confusing sights. Mostly the people, but also the "not people". The Faunus. There were a lot of them, and they each had their own respective animalistic traits. Seeing them up-close kind of freaked me out. PTSD flashbacks from my encounters with furries clouded my mind.
The city of Vale was already bustling on the warm Saturday morning. People were out in their weekend clothes, with their families, going in and out of shops or stopping at the various restaurants that were around. It was all very much like any other city I had been too, and even though I didn't realize it, it was comforting me. I had always believed it was important to get out and see people that were real, and experience the things that were important to them.
When me and Freddy got around the final corner that would lead us to—what he had found out to be—the market square, and the place was suddenly laid out before us, I internally reeled; it was exactly what you might expect a market square to be: people packed in shoulder to shoulder and moving between various kiosks and carts laid out in the street, everyone moving and yelling their way through an utter mass of humanity. It was all too similar to the kind of markets I remembered back at home.
We made our way through the market, stopping at the various vendors, me having to keep my uncle in check, as well as looking at nicknacks and cool little homemade things people were selling from their carts. At one point, we came to a kiosk that was selling sunglasses, and Freddy was instantly enthralled. "Hmm, eye-pro," he said, as he picked up a pair of all-black wrap-around shades and tried them on.
"Freddy I swear to god," I said, sighing loud enough so that he could hear my obvious annoyance with his childish nature. "Put the fucking glasses down. I mean you're acting like a fagg—never mind." I cut myself off once more. Seriously these insults never worked on my uncle, and I was getting pretty annoyed by the fact that Freddy had known this from the very beginning. He would always find a way to get underneath my skin, but I loved him nonetheless. He was like a second father to me… at least as much as a father he can be. I looked at him as he was trying on several different sunglasses. It was then that my uncle turned to his right, only to see a man trying on sunglasses as well. He gasped, taking the sunglasses out of the man's hand before scolding him.
"My god, you do not want to put these on that face of yours." Freddy said, catching the man's attention. "Try these instead." He said, handing him the sunglasses he had recently tried on. The man nodded taking the sunglasses albeit a bit reluctant. He looked at himself in the mirror and nodded to himself.
"I must say that you have a good taste in fashion." The man said, twiddling his cane between his fingers. "I'm impressed. Usually Glynda accompanies me on these trips but she's very busy."
"I aim to please." Freddy replied, smiling at the man.
"And to get laid." I whispered, receiving a jab from Freddy as a reply.
"Say would you mind… helping me decide which glasses to pick?" the man asked, turning to Freddy. "I'm not really much of a fashionista so help would be appreciated."
"Of course Mr…?" Freddy replied, trailing off, hoping that the man would reveal his name.
"Ozpin. My name is Ozpin." Ozpin replied, nodding to Freddy. "And what is your name?"
"Freddy, and this here is my nephew: Ramses." Freddy replied, motioning to me.
I gulped as my back straightened. I knew exactly why the hell I was about to talk to, and I was this close to shitting myself on the spot. I coughed, scratching the back of my head. "Uh, h-hello good sir. How are you doing this fine afternoon?" I replied.
"Well I was just going through Vale trying to find something of value when I ran across this shop. I entered and was searching for the right gasses," he said, turning to Freddy. "And that's when you showed up." he turned his attention back to me, giving me a small smile. "Ramses, that is quite the peculiar name. Say… are you perhaps a student from another school? Another kingdom?"
"Uh, no I'm not a student." I replied. "I'm just an average guy trying to fit into society, that's all. Although having an uncle like Freddy doesn't really help when he's trying to hook you up with so many men—I mean woman!" I said, taking a nervous glance at Freddy who was shaking his head, laughing along the way. "I mean… Uhh… I'm just a guy who is kind of an idiot to be honest."
"Well I suppose everyone is good at something." Ozpin replied. "So this one?" he asked, showing the sunglasses to Freddy.
"Yes, they don't cover too much of your face. They look good on you." Freddy replied, smiling at the Headmaster of Beacon Academy. "By the way, Ramses, have you figured out which way we're supposed to go?" he asked, turning to me.
"Uncle Freddy… I have absolutely no idea. I have no idea what to do up until now. I mean it's not every day you get to meet the Headmaster of Beac—I mean an amazing man who looks great in black!" I mentally face palmed before turning around. "I'm going to kill myself. For real this time." I said, lowering my head. "And if you're feeling suicidal then feel free to join me."
Ozpin looked at me. "Is he… serious?" he asked, turning to Freddy.
"No, he's just a little sad that's all." Freddy replied. "We don't know what happened or how we ended up in… Vale, was it?"
Ozpin nodded.
"Yeah, we don't really remember much after that. We don't really have anywhere to go too… so, yeah, there's that." Freddy continued, taking a quick glance at me. "And Ramses is just sad he can't work tomorrow, because he really loves his job."
"Then may I ask where you are from?" Ozpin asked, showing a bit of curiosity for the two newcomers.
"Well… we come from the Netherlands, of course!" Freddy replied. "Originally we're from the US, but his parents decided to move, and I decided to join them. I really didn't want to leave my nephew behind. So I decided to join them in their trip!"
"The Netherlands? I have never heard of that kingdom before." Ozpin replied a bit confused, taking a glance at me. "And you said something about work. What kind of work are we talking about? Are you perhaps a Huntsman?" he asked.
"No, I'm a bartender." I replied, turning around. "Just like my uncle Freddy over here. It's been my job for a long, long time, and I'm happy about it. And to answer your question… let's just say we're really, really far away from here."
"Ah, I see." Ozpin replied, humming to himself while fidgeting with his sunglasses. "Well… I think, if you're up for it, we might be able to help one another." He replied, reaching for his scroll. "Glynda please do me a favor and do a backup check for a kingdom called "the Netherlands". Also I believe I might have found a solution for our problem with some of our students."
I decided it was best to leave, so I grabbed Freddy's arm and dragged him out of the store. "Come on ya chinky, we're going to find a place to sleep. Probably going to be a nearby dumpster, but whatever. You've probably slept in worse things."
"Indeed I have." Freddy replied, shuddering to himself.
"How does Beacon Academy sound?" Ozpin suddenly asked, getting both for our attention.
'I'm getting a very, very weird fanfiction cliché feeling right now.' I thought to myself. I looked at Ozpin, trying to find somewhat of a smirk on his face. No way was he being serious about this. I wasn't even sure if this was all happening or not. I looked at Freddy, who had already focused his attention back to Ozpin. "Sir," I said, getting Ozpin's attention. "You must be joking, right? I mean we're not hunters."
"But you are bartenders," Ozpin retorted. "Come with me to Beacon and I'll explain it in its fullest. I take it you don't know your way around here?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Excellent!" Ozpin replied, placing the sunglasses back on the tray they had been hanging from. "Let's get going then!"
"Uncle Freddy if you puke on me I will shove my foot so far up your ass." I threatened as I watched my uncle dry barf once more. It was an uncommon thing too. Usually my uncle never got motion sick… but I guess flying in a Bullhead is a completely different experience. Can't say I'm having too much trouble.
"How can you enjoy this?" Freddy asked, taking a seat beside me. "This is worse than that time I got drunk and sucked five dick-."
"Dickonolos! Yeah, dickonolos. It's a very, very tasty delicacy where we're from." I quickly cut my uncle off, glaring daggers at him. "And it's just that my uncle is a very big fan of them." I added, shivering to myself. "Not my type of food, however."
"I suppose everyone has their own unique taste. I would, however, like to try one of them when I get the chance. I'm a big fan of exotic things." Ozpin replied.
"Oh honey you are in for a very exotic treat." Freddy said in somewhat of a seductive tone, making me look at him with my mouth agape. "What? You started it." he said, smirking at me while he playfully punched my shoulder.
I rubbed my temples, not even wanting to press onto this subject. Instead I closed my eyes and tried to calm my mind. This was all a bit too much to take in. Sighing, I reeled my head back and placed my hands behind my neck. 'I just want to sleep. Maybe I'll wake up somewhere else.' I thought to myself.
"So, Ozpin, what kind of school are you a Headmaster of?" I heard Freddy ask.
"I am the Headmaster of Beacon Academy. We teach youngsters to become Huntsman and Huntresses to eventually fight against the creatures of Grimm. Right now a bunch of freshmen students have started their first year, and I must say it has been one of the most exciting years I've ever bear witnessed." Ozpin replied, taking a look at my uncle. "Now I suppose you have some more questions, yes?" he asked, earning a nod from me and my uncle. At least I hoped he was nodding, you know, eyes closed and all that good stuff.
"Well to be honest I was planning on telling you this in my office, but I suppose I can give you just one of many reasons. You see we have all been young and we know how some… parties can turn out. I give my students the opportunity to explore the world, go out and have fun… but with resent events I just think that putting up a curfew is the right thing to do. Now several teachers voted against this, stating I was taking away the student's freedom." Ozpin let out a short sigh before continuing. "I had this idea, you see. I thought that by installing a bar in Beacon itself I would be able to keep students inside. They don't have to go there, but they will be in a safer environment should they want to go out. Now mind you that this will still be a bar and alcoholic beverages will be served, but should students have a bit too much then a teacher or someone else will be able to safely escort them to their room without them forming a danger to themselves or others."
"Wow, which… is actually a very smart thing to do. But aren't you scared that some students might take advantage of this?" Freddy replied, raising an eyebrow at Ozpin.
"No. I will be there to monitor these things… along with the new bartenders, of course. Bartenders who are, how should I put this, independent?" he continued.
My eyes shot open and I looked at Ozpin with a flabbergasted expression planted on my usually calm face. "Does this mean that you brought us with you because Freddy just so happened to mention that we are bartenders?" I asked.
"Indeed I did, Mr. Ramses. Does this not sound appealing to you?" Ozpin asked.
"Well it is an opportunity I never thought I'd get. But… I don't know, it feels like I got fucked in the ass or something." I said, taking a glance at Freddy. "Now I know how you must feel on a regular basis."
"Ha, ha, ha." Freddy laughed sarcastically, rolling his eyes before turning his attention back to Ozpin. "I must say that this is a very generous offer. What do you want in return?"
"Nothing. I just want you two to do your best. This is an opportunity I won't be handing out every day. Consider yourselves very lucky, gentlemen. Now since you'll be working at my school it is only accustomed that you get yourself a room, along with a small, and I emphasize on small paycheck. Remember you told me you had no place to stay? Well as of this day forward consider Beacon your home, gentlemen."
I shook my head in disbelief, looking at Freddy. "Uh uncle Freddy, you're kind of sweating." I pointed out.
"It's the tension, my nephew." Freddy replied.
"The tension of what?" I asked.
"I just realized I have a loaded gun in my back pocket… and I've been sitting on it this entire time." He quickly got and grabbed the revolver and placed it on my lap. "Here, hold it while I check if there are no bullets in my jeans."
That's when I realized I still had those bullets I grabbed before I awoke in Vale. I stood up, carefully reaching into my pocked before grabbing a handful of bullets. I counted. Fourteen. I don't remember my hands being so big, but you know what they say. The bigger the hand the bigger the di-.
"Did I not tell you that carrying your weapon around Beacon is strictly forbidden unless you are in class or have special permission?" Ozpin asked, glaring at my weapon. "Please put the weapon in its holster, Mr. Ramses."
"I forgot to bring it with me, sir." I replied. Now that was not a lie. I did forget to pack the damn thing. But hey, don't blame me for being paranoid! Blame Stephen King and his movies!
Ozpin shook his head before speaking up. "Then put it in your pocket or wherever you have the place for it. Just don't go walking around in school with it. After we arrive I'll have it confiscated until further notice. Understood?"
I nodded.
"Good. I am happy you are both so complying. Now please enjoy the ride, my friends. We'll arrive in Beacon shortly."
'I want to freaking jump off a cliff after I get off this thing.'' I thought to myself.
Have you ever felt so small, so very small that everything around you just seemed it wanted to crush you? Well, if you have, then you probably know how I'm feeling right now. When the Bullhead arrived at Beacon Academy and me, Ozpin and my uncle got off it I was legitimately taken back by its sheer size. This was like anything I had ever seen before! I inhaled a deep gust of air before turning to my uncle, who had already taken out his phone and started to take several pictures with it. I shook my head and turned my head to Ozpin, who appeared to be talking to a blond haired… holy freaking balls that's Glynda Goodwitch!
I raised an eyebrow, reluctantly speaking up. "Yo, w-what's good?" I asked, getting the attention of both of them. "So… how are you fine gentleman—I mean…? I'm… uncle Freddy sucks dick on daily basis!" I suddenly blurted out, quickly excusing myself before turning my back to the two. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." I scolded myself, bumping myself on my forehead which each word coming out of my mouth. I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around only to see Ozpin standing in front of me with an amused expression on his face.
H straightened his glasses before speaking up. "May I introduce to you; Glynda Goodwitch. She will be your escort for today while I deal with some more pressing matters." He said, turning to Freddy. "I take it you don't mind?" he asked.
"Not at all." Freddy replied, swapping me on the back of my head. "And that's for saying those naughty things… even though their true. But still, not funny, nephew."
"Whatever, man." I replied, scratching my head. "So is this where I hand over the gun?" I asked, earning a nod from Ozpin as he held his hand out.
"The gun and the Dust bullets." He corrected as I handed both items to him. "Thank you very much. Don't worry you'll get them back. I just have to register this, that's all."
With that said Ozpin took his leave, leaving only me, Freddy, and a somewhat curious Goodwitch.
"So," I said. "I take it you were one of the teachers who voted against the bar, or was there no vote against it?" I asked.
"Actually I was the one who suggested the idea to Ozpin in the first place. I only thought he would get… older personnel. But you cannot get everything right, I suppose." She mused, seemingly inspecting my features. "Decent build, an average height, I'd say you are the right material."
"Yeah, I guess… wait, what about my uncle?" I asked.
"Adequate." Goodwitch replied.
"And this is why I prefer dick over pussy, my young nephew!" Freddy retorted, glaring at Goodwitch. "Woman are too complicated anyways. It's like trying to crack the world's safest and most protected safe. There's just no way you can crack it in time before the cops arrive. And when they do you'll wish you were dead."
"Uncle, for the last time. Chicks, not dicks. Get that through that thick skull of yours, man." I sighed. I turned to Goodwitch. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"
It took Glynda a moment before she straightened her glasses and looked at me with a serious expression. "I was about to tell you that we'll be heading into the Academy. Now mind you that the students have their study hour so please try to keep it down, will you? And please," she said, using her semblance to levitate Freddy's phone out of his hands. "No pictures."
"Hey, how… how did you do that?" Freddy asked, his mouth slightly agape.
"Uncle Freddy," I said, getting his attention. "Let's just go with the flow. I'll explain it later, okay?"
Freddy nodded his head, although a bit reluctant at first. He walked towards me before turning to face Goodwitch. "I suppose this is where we follow your lead, ma'am?" he asked, earning a nod from Goodwitch. "Well then let's get going, shall we? We're wasting air here."
Goodwitch nodded before she took lead, motioning for us to follow her. We followed the blonde haired woman, taking in every bit of Beacon Academy we had not previously seen. I have to admit it all looks pretty… dull, for some reason. But that could just be my mind playing tricks on me again. Or because of the fact I've seen this place so many times. It was impressive to see it this close, something I never would have thought of in like… forever, really. My face suddenly shifted to a bit of discomfort. I think the adrenaline is finally starting to subside. Soon realization would hit me like a freight train. I mean here I am, in a world I once thought was fictional. I'm already going to Beacon, although not as a student… thank god for that. This was, in all honesty, a bit too much to take in.
I remember a long time ago when I was a little kid I would always imagine these weird scenarios when I was playing with my toys. When I played with my Star Wars action figures I always pretended to be the highest ranking officer. I would play out a scenario from an episode and see how my presence would change the outcome of said episode. And to be fairly honest I still think about how my presence would affect certain events in certain shows, cartoons, games, anime, etc. I am a weird nineteen year old. But I'm proud of it.
Having been so caught up in my own thoughts, I failed to overhear the conversation between Freddy and Goodwitch.
"So you are his uncle and he is you nephew? An interesting combination if I say so myself. However not one I am too unfamiliar with." Goodwitch said, taking a quick glance at me.
"Well when you have a nephew as nice and caring as Ramses you tend to stick with one another. I swear that kid has gotten me out of trouble so many times I have lost count. But he's a good kid, and I love him for it." Freddy replied, smiling as he inhaled a deep gust of air. "But I suppose there is a time and a place for everything. And right now we'll have to see the bar for ourselves. You see Ms. Goodwitch I am what you could call an artists. An artist of liquids. When I prepare drinks I create art, and I want everyone to know about it. Ramses over here is still in the early stages, but he is getting the hang of it. Although he is more of a beer type of guy. I, however, can prepare the best cocktails around here."
Goodwitch raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "An artist you say?" she said, placing her hands behind her back. "Although it seems like an interesting thought I think your "art" will not interest most of the students. You know how youngsters are. They only care if the drink tastes good nowadays. The looks don't really matter to them anymore."
"Yeah, I know how you feel, sister." Freddy replied, nodding his head in agreement. "However that is not what I taught Ramses. Trust me that if you're ever interested in a nice, cold, relaxing Sex on the Beach he'd be happy to prepare one for you." Freddy continued taking a quick glance at me. "But back to the bar. I take it has already been prepared?"
"No." Goodwitch replied in an unusual calm manner.
"Uh, okay? But… is it still under construction, then?" Freddy asked.
"No, we still have to begin building it." Goodwitch replied.
"What? You mean to tell me we have to wait weeks before we can get to work?" Freddy asked, a little shocked at hearing her reply.
"No. The bar will be constructed tomorrow according to your own personal perforations. I will show you where we planned to set up the bar so you two will be able to give that, should I say "Artistic minds" of yours to work." Goodwitch replied.
"Oh… well then that… explains it?" Freddy replied unsurely. 'I swear once I get some shut eye I hope I'll wake up in Magic Mike.' He thought to himself, shaking his head.
"Uncle Freddy?" I questioned.
"Yes, my dear?" Freddy replied, taking his attention away from Goodwitch.
"You do realize we still have to "talk" about some things, right?" I asked, earning a slow, but understanding nod from him. "Good. Ms. Goodwitch would it be okay of me and my uncle has some time to talk to one another real quick. It'll only take a few minutes, I promise."
"I will be waiting a few meters up ahead. Please make it short." Goodwitch said before taking her leave.
I turned to my uncle, a hint of annoyance written on my face as I prepared to unleash my biggest weapon.
That big mouth of mine.
Here you go, guys! The second chapter. I apologize if things seem a bit rushed, but trust me once Ramses and Freddy settle into Beacon things will go a lot "smoother".