Chapter Two: Crossroads
"I needed a change Sam" Addison's voice was vague and far away as Sam placed a cup of coffee in front of her "I needed, need, to make a change"
"Everything is always changing Addison," Sam offered "and most of the time it is so slight that we don't notice it"
"Why do I always make the wrong choices Sam?" Addison asked as her voice trembled and a tear threatened to fall.
"Addison" Sam purred softly as he moved across the sofa to be nearer to her "you need to stop beating yourself up about the Practice, we're all part of what happened, it's our practice and our mess." There was so much more that he wanted to say to her, about them and the choices they had made but he knew that in that moment she needed him to be a friend, she needed him to put aside all the bad choices they had made and focus on making the right ones now.
"What are we going to do about the practice Sam?" Addison sighed as her body instinctively turned to his, craving the warmth and the comfort she knew he could provide.
"I don't have the answer to that, Addison" Sam replied honestly "but what I do know is that we've all given so much to make Oceanside Wellness what it is and that we can do it again, we can get out of this hole but only if we stick together, only if we fight as a team, as a family."
"Maybe we need a bigger change, Sam," Addison said, the words still only half formed as they left her mouth "when we're together, all of us, at the Practice it's as if we just find reasons to cross the line, reasons to do the wrong thing for the right reasons and it never stops, it never gets any easier."
"And it would be easier somewhere else? On our own?" Sam asked although his question was intended to make her think rather than to illicit an answer.
"I don't know Sam" she replied resignedly. She knew he was right, a fresh start was rarely the answer; it had certainly never been the answer she was looking for. She had tried running and it didn't work. "I need time" she said suddenly. "I need time alone, to think about how to get us out of this mess. Will you tell everyone to meet at the Practice at seven?"
"Of course I will," Sam said softly as he watched her get up from her place on the sofa and head for the stairs. "Addison" he offered tentatively as she walked away from him "I'll just be next door."
Addison nodded as she climbed the stairs and headed for the bathroom; there was very little in the world a hot bath couldn't soothe away.
HERE
"I don't make the right decisions, I never have. I can't make this decision" Addison's voice caught Sam by surprise as she stood in in the open doorway that lead out onto his deck.
Sam crossed the living room and slid his hand into hers "come and sit down" he said softly "talk to me."
Addison followed him obediently, she wanted nothing more than to give into the feelings they had both been fighting but she knew that they were in the middle of something bigger than 'them'; that they were dealing with their friends' lives and futures.
"Talk to me," Sam said softly as they settled on the sofa "tell me the options."
"Well," Addison took a deep breathe, hoping it would help to order the thoughts in her head "we can fight it, we can resist what they're trying to do, it would probably tear us apart anyway, in the end, we'd lose but we'd be fighting for what we believe in, what we've created together."
"Ok," Sam nodded, remaining as neutral as possible, wanting to give her the opportunity to talk through what was filling her head.
"We can dissolve the Practice, go our separate ways, start over." She stopped short as her voice faded, it was the worst yet possibly the best option of them all. They were friends, good friends, but that was the problem – they were willing to cover for each other, support each other, save each other. Maybe they should keep their lives and their work separate. Even as she thought about it she knew it wasn't true – they worked because they cared, about each other and about their patients.
"Or?" Sam said prompting her
"Or we dissolve the Practice but stay together, start again" Addison said with a note of tiredness in her voice.
"Would that work?" Sam questioned, for her benefit, not his.
"I've got the money" she stated "we could do it but do we want to? Do we just have to accept this as the change that has always been coming Sam? Naomi has gone, Pete and Violet are falling apart and we…" she stopped, unable to hear the words leave her mouth because she didn't know what they were, what they should be, what they wanted to be.
"This is not about us," Sam said softly "this is about the Practice, about our family. Look Addison, we're going to have to make a change, things are changing, they have changed but there are different types of change" Sam began to explain as he moved slightly closer to her "sometimes there are things we can't change, we know that, we see it every time some dies in our hands, on our table but there is good change too – change that makes a difference, that makes things better, that makes good out of bad; change for the better."
"You really think this could be change for the better?" Addison questioned him.
"I think it could if we want it to," Sam replied, not wanting to influence her decision but wanting her to make her aware of all the options.
"A change for the better" Addison said thoughtfully as she exhaled deeply.