A/N: First lesson about writing fanfiction learned – never post anything unless the entire story is complete. I humbly apologise for taking so long to post the next chapter of this story, and I hope that this extra-long one will make up for that. Thanks for reading!
Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse.
The usual disclaimer applies.
Teresa is immediately suspicious of the blond-haired boy who comes up to her and looks as though he would keep walking right through her if she doesn't do something. The vacant look in his eyes, even though it is only there briefly, makes her tread with caution.
His expression quickly changes when she moves to put some distance between them, and Teresa finds herself drawn to his open, kind smile.
She still won't shake his hand.
But as he continues to gaze at her like she is the most important creature in the world to him at that moment, she decides that yes, his blue eyes really are quite gorgeous. And his hair does look tousled and unkempt in the most attractive way.
She tells him her name and can't stop the thrill that runs through her at the way he looks at her then.
She's never felt like this about a boy before; especially not one she has just met. But there is something about Patrick Jane that intrigues her and makes her think that it might be worth getting to know him better.
Patrick moves to her side and motions towards the carnival in front of them. "Would you like to go on a tour? I can show you all the best rides."
Teresa thinks about this for a second.
"Okay," she answers, figuring that if things get weird, she is quite capable of kicking his ass and getting herself out of the situation.
"Don't worry, you're under no obligation to go with me," he says, seeming to read her thoughts.
"No it's okay, I want to," she replies, somewhat fiercely. She knows when she is being offered a good thing and doesn't want to give this up. The carnival looks like it could be a welcome distraction from her everyday life. Why not allow herself to take a risk, to have fun, for once? Her decision to accept Patrick's offer has absolutely nothing to do with the growing attraction she is feeling towards him. Absolutely nothing at all.
"Great, let's go."
***
They walk through the carnival and initially Teresa is a little tense, wondering if she made the right decision in going with Patrick, who is for all intents and purposes, a stranger.
But soon she finds herself relaxing and she starts to enjoy his company.
He certainly is entertaining. He shows her which games are difficult and when she immediately wants to give them a try, he shows her the secret to winning. He makes jokes and tells her stories about the people around them based on his observations and while she has no way of knowing whether what he is telling her is true, she enjoys listening to him talk about their lives. It intrigues her, almost as much as he does.
***
When they finish the tour of the carnival, Patrick buys two ice creams, despite Teresa's insistence that she would pay for hers herself. They sit on a nearby bench to eat.
After a moment of comfortable silence, Patrick realises with a jolt that his show is starting in ten minutes. He downs the rest of his ice cream in one gulp and looks over at Teresa.
"Listen, would you like to come to my show now?"
She glances at her watch and jumps. "I have to go back to meet my brothers now; I didn't realise how late it's gotten."
She seems a bit panicked that she lost track of time, so he quickly gets up, offering a hand to help her off the bench. She takes it without a second thought, and he walks with her to the entrance of the carnival.
Her brothers are all there, in one piece and accounted for. Teresa gives a sigh of relief and turns to Patrick.
"It's late, we have to go home now," she says, somewhat reluctantly. "I'm sorry I can't make it to your show. But thank you, I really appreciate your kindness."
Patrick takes note of the sincerity in her voice, and perhaps a bit of longing in her eyes, and smiles at her.
"It's okay, you can come again some other time. Thank you for your company; it's been a long time since..." he trails off when he sees her brothers watching every move he makes. "It's just been a long time," he finishes. "Goodbye, my lady," he says and gives her a gallant bow.
She rolls her eyes, but he can see the laugh she is trying to control.
She rounds up her brothers and Patrick watches as they walk away, the boys eagerly showing Teresa what they bought or won, and her smile as she replies to their excited chatter.
She's amazing, he thinks, as his eyes drift down over the back pockets of her jeans. He crosses his fingers in hope.
***
When Teresa checks her pockets before throwing her jeans in the washing machine that night, she finds a slightly crumpled piece of paper.
The carnival will be here for two weeks. Come again? Warmest regards, Patrick.
She grins and wonders how he managed to get that into her pocket without her noticing. And what teenager uses the words warmest regards, anyway?
But, of course, she is going to go back.
***
She visits him as much as she can, and in this time they get to know each other. By the eighth day she finds herself telling him a little about her mother's death and her struggles with her father. This is not something that she usually finds easy to talk about, and in fact most of her friends don't know about it. But she feels, for reasons that are unknown to her, that she can trust him.
Patrick guessed most of it already, but he still listens attentively when she speaks. He makes her feel that her words are important because they are uttered by her, regardless of whether he knows what she is going to say or not.
And in turn he tells her about his misgivings about the carnie life; how the tricks have been weighing more heavily on his mind lately than they used to. And that he doesn't know what his future holds, but he that he may not want to spend it with the carnival.
When he opens up, she finds it easier to tell him more about herself. Even so, her words come out hesitant and halting when she finally decides to tell him the details; about taking hits for her brothers and cleaning their wounds when she isn't able to make it in time.
When he hears that he reaches for her immediately, but allows her to make the choice to step into his arms for their first hug. She is floored by his consideration for her feelings, and she carefully returns the embrace. She soon finds herself forgetting her caution and hangs fiercely onto his shoulders, basking in the comfort of his touch.
It is such a change to the sort of touch she is used to.
They both feel a little bereft after they pull away from each other, and from that day onwards they greet each other with hugs; two young souls making up for being starved of the type of touch they've needed to thrive for most of their lives.
***
Patrick is fascinated by Teresa.
She captivated him with one look on the day they met, and he is still amazed that such a beautiful, pure being would choose to spend time with someone like him – a carnie boy at the best of times, a conman at the worst.
And yet, she doesn't judge him. She just sits quietly by his side and listens; offers advice now and then that he can see comes from raising her brothers, and somehow that is all he needs. She gives him what his heart has been craving without him even realising it.
For this, he is eternally grateful, and so he ensures that he treats her well.
He is careful when touching her; he uses the money he's saved to buy the things that she likes; and he makes sure that when she's around, she has his full attention. That one is easy.
He also actually takes her advice. Though strong and abusive, if Patrick really put his mind to it, his father would not be able to control him. But a quiet – or sometimes mildly annoyed – word from Teresa is all it takes for him to back off from something he was obsessing over.
And added to all of that is the fact that she is breathtakingly gorgeous. Her eyes still mesmerise him and he finds himself ridiculously happy when he is able to make her smile; because her smile is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
Patrick has unexpectedly found the woman of his dreams, and in a couple of days he has to leave. This thought fills him with sadness, even though he knows that it is inevitable.
If it were up to him, he would pack his things and flee with Teresa. He knows that were it not for her brothers, she would join him.
But her loyalty and love for her family are two of the many things that he loves about her, and so he knows that she is going to stay and he is going to leave and he wishes with everything in him that that would not be the end for them; that he would be able to see her again.
***
On the last day Teresa gets to the carnival as the sun is setting. The crowds have dispersed and only the carnie folk remain; each packing up their stations to move to the new destination. The field seems sombre now and the excitement and flurry of activity that was present on the first day has almost disappeared.
When Patrick is finished helping his father, he goes over to Teresa and they walk silently towards the carousel, one of the few rides left that still needs to be dismantled and packed away.
They sit down on the platform amongst the horses and gaze out over the darkening field.
Teresa isn't quite sure what to say to him. This moment feels like an occasion; one where speeches should be said and toasts should be drunk and she should tell Patrick that he has become one of her best friends, but somehow that is exactly why her words have failed her.
She isn't sure how to thank him for what he has given to her over the past two weeks – a listening ear, calming hugs, occasional spurts of humour after she's had a hard day, and a friendship that is more special to her than almost anything. The whole experience has been so different to anything she's ever had before, and her time with Patrick has become infinitely treasured. He, not the field in which they sit, is her safe place now.
He moves a little beside her and then she feels his fingertips brush against the back of her hand where it is resting by her side. She shifts her weight so that she can accept his request; their fingers link up, he squeezes tightly, and she is grateful that he is so good at reading people because it seems that this silence has told him everything she wants him to hear.
***
Patrick doesn't know what to say. Words are his job and manipulation is his income but now, seated next to Teresa, the only way that he can express what he means is to hold her hand.
He doesn't want to make their impeding separation any more difficult for either of them by trying to tell her how he feels, or even worse, trying to kiss her. While that idea seems wonderful in his head, in practice it would only serve to break his resolve to let her live her life unencumbered by him.
Because that is what he would be. Teresa is destined for a beautiful house and a dog and something perfect. Whatever her dreams are, she deserves to have them come true. And at this point in his life, Patrick doesn't feel that he would be able to give them to her.
He loves her, and while that makes letting her go one of the most difficult things he's ever done, it also is exactly why he has to.
Patrick is startled out of his thoughts when Teresa pulls something out of her pocket and turns to face him.
"I want to give you something," she says.
"You've already given me so much, darling," he replies, looking into her eyes and trying to thank her for it all.
She blushes slightly at his unexpected use of such an intimate name, but then gives him a shy smile as she lifts his hand and tips something metallic onto his palm. It is warm from the heat of her body and he inspects it eagerly. Gifts are rare in his household.
It is a necklace; an emerald the colour of Teresa's eyes attached to a golden chain. It doesn't do her justice, but it is still beautiful and he appreciates the thought behind it more than she will ever know.
Patrick leans forward to wrap his arms around her and they hold onto each other for their longest embrace yet.
"Thank you, Teresa..." he says eventually, his words slightly muffled by her hair. He takes a deep breath. "I love-"
Her hand comes up to brush his face and her thumb covers his lips, putting an abrupt halt to what he was about to say.
"I know," she answers. "No need to make this harder."
How well she knows him.
***
Teresa's steps are slow and heavy as she walks away from the carnival. She turns back once to raise her hand in greeting to Patrick, who waves crazily back, and she smiles at his antics. Her smile is suddenly choked by a sob and she hurries away, not wanting him to see her cry.
She is heartbroken to have to say goodbye to him, but she is grateful – so grateful – to have known him at all.